37. Orion
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
ORION
E mber’s period lasts three more days before finally ending, but at least the pain eased after the first two, giving her relief at last.
There are few times in my life that I’ve felt as useful as I have the last week, and I’ve relished in Ember’s acceptance of my help.
I know things between us are still complicated, and that we probably need some kind of couples therapy to get over the whole, I killed your brother, but he was kind of a dick anyway, thing, but it’s not in the cards right now.
She’s perched on the opposite side of the desk to me, her eyes moving over her laptop as she nibbles on her bottom lip.
God, I want to be the one biting down on the pouty pillow, but instead I return my focus to my own computer.
She’s far too tempting for her own good.
“Have you given any more thought to what you might want to do now that you’ll be free to make your own choices?” I ask.
Ember levels me with an amused glare. “My own choices so long as I live in this penthouse with you, and you know where I am at all times, and I don’t come without your explicit permission?”
I laugh at her brattiness. Yeah, my girl is definitely feeling better.
It turns out that when she’s in pain, she’s the sweetest thing in the world. She laps up the cuddles and affection like a sleepy kitten. But I won’t lie and say I didn’t miss her more confrontational side, because I fucking did.
Ember’s snark is one of my favorite things about her, and I hope she holds onto it for the rest of our lives.
“Exactly.” I nod. “Apart from all those things.”
She leans back in her chair and considers me. “I’m not really sure,” she says. “Part of me would like to go to school, but I’m not sure if that’s what I really want, or if it’s just the part of me that never had the chance coming out.”
“Well, you could always try, and if you don’t like it, you can drop out.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
She sighs. “I enjoy aspects of what I do now. It’s fun researching people, digging into their lives until I stumble across what they’re trying to hide. But I’m not sure it’s something I’d want to do forever, you know?”
“Understandable. You were forced to learn those things to survive, and even though you enjoy them, they’re tainted by that reality.”
“Exactly.” She nods, her bottom lip disappearing between her teeth as she thinks.
“And then sometimes I think maybe I just want to…be.” She shrugs.
“Like maybe volunteer for charities, go to Pilates at lunchtime, spend a full day shopping just because I can. I think I’d get bored, but it’s kind of nice to think that could be an option. ”
“That is an option, Ember. If you decided you wanted to take our credit cards for a spin every single day on Rodeo Drive, I’d ask if you need a lift.”
She rolls her eyes, huffing out a soft laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”
“No, Little Flame. I want you to be happy. I want you to have everything you’ve ever wanted. If that means trying to spend all our money and going to Pilates, then that’s what you’ll do.”
Her lips purse, and she watches me for long moments, likely trying to find any mistruth in my words, but she won’t find any. I’ve never meant anything more.
“Do you like the penthouse?” I ask.
She looks around, her eyes tracking over my office. “I guess.”
“We can move. If you want? We could look for a new house.”
“What?”
“If the penthouse doesn’t feel like home to you, we should move. I want you to have somewhere that you’ll feel like it’s yours as much as it is mine.”
She opens her mouth and then snaps it closed again, like she can’t quite believe what she’s hearing. “But this is your home!”
I nod. “It is. But I want to live somewhere that feels like it’s ours .”
A frown etches into her brow, and I ache to reach for her, but I can’t solve everything by pulling her into my arms.
I wanted an equal. I wanted a queen. And now I have to treat Ember like both of those things, even when it goes against my instincts.
“Can I think about it?” she asks. “I haven’t lived in a house since I was in foster care. I don’t know if I’d like to be out of the city center.”
“Take all the time you need, Little Flame.”
She looks back to her computer before her eyes trail back up to meet mine. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“What’s your long game? What do you want in the long run? Do you want to hold on to the reins of the drug business forever? Do you want to keep your legitimate businesses running? What is it you want in the long run?”
It only takes me a moment to respond, even though I know she’s not ready for my answer.
“I want a life with you. However that looks. I could give Killian the keys to the kingdom tomorrow, and I wouldn’t give a fuck as long as I had you by my side.
I want to get a ring on your finger and maybe have some kids, if you are open to that kind of thing.
I want to show you the world and make you feel every day like you made the right choice by giving me a chance. ”
Her lips part in surprise, emotions swirling in her deep blue eyes, but she doesn’t get a chance to respond before my phone vibrates at the same time as her computer pings.
We both look away before snapping back up to meet each other’s eyes again.
“We need to go.”