40. Orion
CHAPTER FORTY
ORION
“ F uck!” I roar, my body coiled so tight it hurts.
Killian eyes me, but he’s too busy giving orders to deal with me.
Normally, that would piss me off, but right now, that’s what I need him to do.
He needs to get to her before they can hurt her.
I clutch my mask between my fingers, fighting the urge to pull it on and kill every single person who works for Lucas, before torturing the man that dares hurt my woman for weeks on end.
But I breathe through the blood lust.
It goes against every single instinct I have, but this whole plan has.
Ever since Ember floated the idea of walking into that bar and provoking Lucas, I’ve been fighting my need to keep her safe and allow her to make her own choices.
That will definitely not be happening again.
I know I said I would give her a chance whether to stay or go, but even if she chooses the latter, she’ll never be free of me.
I’ll be right there, keeping her safe, making sure no one dares to fuck with her.
“Orion,” Killian says carefully, obviously seeing how close to the edge I’m walking. “I need you to keep it together so we can find her.”
“Find her?” I force through gritted teeth. “What do you mean, find her?”
His eyes flicker with something I almost mistake for fear, but it disappears too quickly for me to identify it. “It looks like they had a plan of their own. They got her out of the bar so fast we didn’t have a hope of intercepting them.”
I never understood the concept of your life falling down around you until right now.
There have been many times when things have fallen apart, but it didn’t feel like the walls were closing around me, or that my heart was going to break out of my chest, or that I couldn’t breathe through the rising terror.
No, this is new to me, and no matter how hard I fight against it, the fog of panic drags me closer.
“Orion!” he snaps, his hands grasping my shoulders and forcing me to look at him. “Keep it the fuck together. For Ember. You have to keep it together for her.”
I force a nod, but I’m not sure my head moves at all. “The trackers,” I whisper, not trusting my voice to be that of the cold unfeeling crime boss I claim to be.
“We have a team following them right now. If she’s in that van, we’ll get her.”
“And if she’s not?”
Uncertainty crosses his face, and he doesn’t reply immediately.
One of the rules we made in the early days was that we would never lie to each other. If there was something hard we needed to discuss, we wouldn’t pussyfoot around it. This is the first time either of us has ever hesitated, and my body tightens as I prepare for his response.
“If she’s not in that van, we’ll find her. You have my word that we will not give up until she’s back where she belongs. With you.”
I give him a jerky nod before pressing my eyes closed.
Killian’s right about one thing. I can’t fall apart. Not until she’s in my arms. Not until I can protect her from the world. Not until I can spank her ass for ever concocting this plan.
Because there’s an alternative I can’t bring myself to think of.
An alternative where she doesn’t come home at all, and I don’t survive.