The investor
-All set. -No! That pen doesn't go there. I have to hide it before it gets there.
-That's enough. You've cleaned on clean-Blake lifts me by the waist and my feet continue to walk through the air. Everything is perfect. Pencil included," he says, lowering me to the floor but not before giving me a quick kiss on the cheeks.
-I need everything to be in place.
-And I want you to calm down. His hands do not leave my waist.
-I am afraid. The tear threatens to appear.
-In a few days you will start working at the agency. If you don't see it as a suitable position, we can look at other options. I don't want you to feel obligated to work two jobs out of necessity," Blake drags part of his hand through his hair. It's so cute to see his insecurities that I'd eat him up bone by bone. And not because I consider myself a witch with a craving to cook a caldito, mine is more related to that sea of doubts that assail me when I believe I deserve nothing and its horrible consequences. Details well taught by a mother who forgot me in a doorway with a half-closed suitcase. I know exactly the distance between air and the deepest bottomless pit. I say this with good reason. Escalation took the full toll of my tears, filling wagons of emotional insecurity as a reward.
-Working at the agency is a dream come true. I couldn't be more grateful.
-So?
I am sincere, hiding the pen in my chest.
-When I arrived at my grandmother's house, I used my mother's old things. Her bed, her sheets, her stuffed animals... I never reproached her, the woman had too much to do with soothing the sorrows of an abandoned child. You know? The Three Kings at home always brought practical things. School bags and sweaters that could be taken to a gala dinner or a walk in the park. Even the tooth fairy added to the wise utility of the gifts. In life I have never had things that were mine for the pleasure of being mine.
-I am," he wipes away one of my stray tears with his thumb.
I smiled at him as best I could.
-Until I got my first job, Grandma To?i never had a package named after her. She said that God had given her the best gift. And so all the holidays went by. With practical gifts for me and zero wrapping for her. This - the sight is lost on my lame table leg - everything around me, everything I am or try to be, I owe to her. My work on this radio, helping other confused girls, everything I do is my demonstration that I was worth staying with.
Blake hugs me tightly. I accept it just as powerfully. They say mothers are able to distinguish the scent of their cubs with their eyes closed. I think if a blindfold blinded me I'd recognize Blake over any other boy. Sandalwood, caramel apple and sunset by the sea. That's him.
-I will never abandon you.
I press to break away.
-I don't need your pity.
-I am the one who needs it.
-What?
-I'm here!
Anthony cuts off any conversation starters. He didn't finish reaching for me with his strong arms when the world began to spin around me.
-I'm getting dizzy," I say as Anthony spins me in the air.
-It's your day, Cari! I love you so much!
-You can't have a better friend.
-You can't be better than you.
-Friends forever?
-Forever," he says, pulling me out of the air in a hug.
Blake looks at us. If it wasn't impossible I'd say he was jealous. And I say impossible because my friendship with Anthony is pure and sincere. It took hold one tragic day in elementary school. That morning, after months of analysis, he confessed his feelings to a blonde who was thrilled to meet him. She, who had everything that was beautiful about her and everything that was miserable about her, replied that she was disgusted by him and that she would rather be dead than fall in love with a woman with the airs and graces of a disgusting boy. Her snake tongue spewed out its venom the second she gave him a shove that left him lying on the floor. At that time Anthony was imprisoned in Ana's body, so this was his first rejection in love, and the beginning of a long social unacceptability. Karina, Laura and I were walking along discussing whether history homework was optional or mandatory when we saw him and ran to his side. We wiped his palms and knotted a sweater around his waist so his butt crack wouldn't show. We promised him that day that we would always be by his side. Being Anthony was his will, friends forever, my best decision.
-Achuchón! -Karina and Laura threw their bags in the air before wrapping us in a kind of giant doughnut.
-Hello, my name is Raul, I am the investor. I hope I'm not disturbing you.
The girls fly off in panic to their posts. Anthony goes professional.
-Please come in. I am Anthony and this is Sofia.
I accept the presentation with an outstretched hand. My nerves don't leave me room for many words. And that's because in the universe of chatterboxes I'm the alphabet soup. Blake steps forward, clinging to my shoulder.
-I am Blake Blakmoon.
-Raúl Torres.
They both measure distances. is much younger than I expected. The Viking hair and eyes give him a touch of an attractive angel.
-An investor," Blake's voice is deep.
-One hundred percent.
My nerves give me a smile somewhere between happy and unbalanced - an investor! My head is still spinning in a daze.
-It's time-Anthony moves toward the booth-why don't you sit next to Sofia and enjoy the program from the inside.
Raul walks behind me after allowing me to pass. A real gentleman, good old Elvira would say. We put the papers on the desk when the music starts to play.
I don't need to talk
Because I guess you know what I'm like
You have always known me
When you look at me you can see
Inside me what even I can't understand
I have always known you
Friends forever...
I look at the glass of the control booth. Blake keeps looking at Raul and me between indecipherable grimaces.
-Three, two," Anthony's hand goes up. One. Here we go!
The green light comes on. I glance back toward the cockpit with some concern. Blake winks at me. I am reassured. One day I must take a course with Anselmo sensei to banish my suspicious paranoia.
-And here we are one more evening in Solas. My voice trembles. I correct it instantly.
-We are not alone! Laura and Karina give it all in that full-throated shout.
-Girls, we have a call. Anthony's voice cuts through our enthusiastic laughter.
-Hi, I'm Sofia. Who is accompanying us from the other side.
-It's Alba. I can hardly believe it. It's her! The girl who cut the call.
-It's her..." Karina speaks covering the microphone. Laura holds the book shaking like a castanet.
I sit with my back straight. I can help her and show off in front of the investor. Two birds released from the cage at the same time. Fortune smiles on me.
-Hello Alba, we are very happy to hear from you.
I turn my head to the side. Raul gives me a most enthusiastic smile. I respond with the same warmth. In business, sympathy represents fifty percent of the sale price. That's what Elvira says every time she gets discounted flour for her San Isidro doughnuts.
A few interminable seconds of silence pass. I approach the microphone.
-Alba? Are you still there?
-I am not Alba. I am Chechu.
-Who? -I focus all my doubts on the cockpit. Blake replaces a pale Anthony to start pounding on the cockpit controls.
-El Chechu. Yoli's ex.
-Yoli?
-No, I'm Alba.
-What's going on?
Now I see two crowns moving back and forth behind the steering booth. Anthony and Blake, both two of them, are butchering the keyboard with blows.
-Sorry," Anthony speaks into the mike, turning from dead pale to desperate green, "it seems we got two calls mixed up. Let's go with the first one.
-Hello Alba.
-I'm Chechu! The one with the antlers because of Richard. Look Yoli! I know perfectly well that you listen to these progressive feminists. Either you give me back the cell phone I'm still paying for, or I swear I'll fuck your boyfriend's ass!
The call is cut off. On the other end, Blake leans back in his chair, taking a deep breath as if he had just run a marathon. Raising his hand, he makes a sign in a circle. It looks like I have to go on.
-Hello?
-Hi, I'm Alba.
-Thank God.
Anthony and Blake raise their hands to high-five each other in the air.
-I beg your pardon?
-Things from my grandmother. Hi Alba, we love to hear from you again. Last time we were looking forward to hearing from you.
-I had some problems.
-We all have them," Karina answers, catching her breath after the shock she experienced.
-I wanted to tell you that you help me a lot. My life is not easy at all.
-Life never gets easy.
Alba falls silent and we remain expectant. After what would be considered a normal pause, and seeing that the words are not flowing, I jump in and ask.
-How can we help you?
-I am in love with an impossible man. The girls sigh in sorrow. At least they expected an unsolved triple murder case. Typical love problem. I know them all. I'm a graduate in forgotten hearts. On this subject I can show off.
-We are here to listen to you.
is sitting next to me. Between the two of us, I can barely fit a sheet of paper. He doesn't lose any detail of what I say. Normal. He guards his money.
-Mine is impossible. One more impossible than others. That is, what I feel, what I should, what doesn't happen to me.
-What you should?
-I'm in love with someone who... is wrong. My father says it's unnatural.
-You mean unnatural?
-Yes.
Anthony cranes his neck to get my attention. I affirm with a droop of my eyelids. I know what he's trying to tell me.
-Alba, Love does not respect conventions, much less convictions. He moves like a wanderer in search of a place to take refuge. And though he seems needy his whimsy is what makes him especially lovable. No matter how many homes they show him, he will decide where the residence of his peace is. He may be shown thousands of homes that if your heart is his chosen one he will not desist until he leaves his life in your conquest. He will break down doors, windows and glass, fighting like a giant in battle, and when, exhausted from denying him, you think him defeated, he will return with greater power than before. He will attack with petals of dreams and smiles of hope because he knows that in his victory lies your only happiness.
-What if I'm not sure? What if by the time I decide it's too late? What if he won't wait for me?
-The times of couples are not always the same. If he loves you he will wait. Love requited is a jewel worth waiting for.
I look up to meet Blake's black gaze. I feel his fire pierce the glass.
-You speak beautifully.
-It's not mine," I answer, looking toward the steering cabin.
-The person who told you that must be terribly in love with you. I hope it's reciprocated," Alba's voice sighs enthusiastically.
I smile knowing that my cheeks are red. I feel the sting escaping through my skin. I look up. He doesn't move a muscle. The cabin lights surround him. I am afraid. Very afraid. I am lonely and distrustful. I've been hurt. But I love him. He's the boy I've wanted by my side forever. He's handsome, smart and I can't deny I'm in love.
-It is," she clenched her papers nervously at my confession. Totally, and madly reciprocated.
The smile she gives me is tiny, but promising. I scratch my forehead as I hide my blush behind the mic.
Laura speaks and Karina completes her ideas. I keep looking at Blake who keeps throwing fiery darts at me. If it weren't for the fact that the investor is ahead, that my friends don't suspect anything and that I have a million fears about us, I would stop the program to hijack it and let the night find us loving each other.
-I don't want to lie to anyone. Alba's voice is lost in the distance.
-Don't do it," he replied, returning to the earthly plane.
-I can't. I have no escape. I am not what he thinks I am.
-Him?
-My father.
-Alba. How old are you?
-Sixteen.
-You are very young and you are starting out on your own path. You are a woman, not a moldable doll for the desires of others. Your father will understand you.
-I can't... I can't," the voice chokes between what sounds like his hands. I have to cut. I can't live like this anymore. I can't...
-Alba, wait! Don't cut.
The girls and I look at each other. Silence fills the studio.
-Alba, please, if you are listening, call us. Today or whenever you prefer. You are not alone.
Some soft music, a couple more calls and the end of the program catches up with us.
Karina and Laura glue their mouths to the microphone.
-Alone! We are not alone.
-Never! As long as one of us is standing, we will never be alone," I answer without taking Alba out of my mind.
-Never! -The girls answer me with all their energy.
The best thing about being a woman,
is the privilege of having a little fun and,
oh, to drive me totally crazy,
forget that I am a young lady...
Man! Feel like a woman!
It's over.
We took off our helmets.
Raul is still sitting. He hasn't moved for two hours and not a single wrinkle in his pants. Mine look like cigarette paper. How did he do it?
-A great program, girls," Anthony comes out of the booth clapping for us.
-A fabulous program," Raul stands up and pushes his chair away. Tomorrow you will have an answer.
-I thought Solas was a determined project. Blake comes out of the booth to confront him.
-I understand perfectly - the disappointment hides behind my politeness -. You need time. It's normal.
He and Blake stare at each other.
-I was joking. Your boyfriend is right, it's decided. I will sponsor the program.
-It's a program made between friends," Anthony explains. We really appreciate your trust. You won't regret it.
-Yes, we are all... friends," Blake looks at his hands at my words. I just disappointed him.
-How about starting with one of my companies?
-One? -My voice trembles as I listen to the investor.
-Yes, the one on women's clothing. It will be interesting.
-I think it's perfect.
-A mention in the header and closing. In addition to the usual intermediates.
-Great. I reach out my hand, but he steps forward, grabbing my shoulders to give me two loud kisses. One hundred percent imported perfume emanates from his neck. I'm a radar for everything my wallet can't afford.
-I will send you the contract with the details. We will keep in touch.
Karina walks him to the door and waits to see him leave before she starts jumping up and down as if she had seen a spider on his feet.
-We're going to a party. Tonight's on me." Anthony paces back and forth, turning off lights.
-I am exhausted. My nerves have robbed me of my vital signs.
-Tonight the city is ours. I mean city, I mean community. What do I mean community, the whole of Spain belongs to my Sofi! - Anthony hugs Laura who jumps as they pick up their backpacks. The three of them walk out the door when Blake grabs me by the waist.
-Are you happy?
-Immensely. I bite my lips holding back a silly tear.
-Let's go!
Karina came in and out again. But this time pushing me from behind.
-You go.
-You're not coming?
-I have an unforeseen event. Tomorrow I will leave early for Barcelona.
-Barcelona?
-Have a good trip Blake. See you on the way back. Karina's hand pulls so hard on me that the hundreds of questions I wanted to ask her never made it out of my mouth.