Chapter 39
thirty-nine
ELLIE
I feel like my body is floating through the clouds, like a feather drifting with the wind. My head lies on Rowan’s chest, and I hear every slow heartbeat that can lull me to sleep.
After Rowan gave me the best head I’ve ever had, I wanted to return the favor, and he stopped me. I knew he saw my facial expression change, going from excited to confused to hurt, and he stopped me before my emotions could go any further.
I want this night to be about you, he spoke softly. I’ve waited years to have my chance of getting to taste you again. If you insist on giving me something tonight, let it be me holding you in my arms.
I thought Rowan had one side to him: a gentle, sweet man. After tonight, I’ve learned that he also has a little devil on his shoulder that comes out to play. We’ve both grown up. We’ve both explored different things. This was nothing like what we used to do. There was so much passion and fire.
He didn’t touch me with any hesitation. He touched me like he owned me.
I trace the tip of my finger along the ladybug tattoo I remember him having me pick out. It was his very first tattoo. Of course, I thought it was very cute, but I didn’t think he would get it. A simple, red ladybug.
“Did I ever tell you why my favorite color is blue?” Rowan breaks the comfortable silence first.
“No, you haven’t,” I answer quietly, lost in a trance of his tattoos.
I can hear a laugh from deep inside his chest. A hesitation. “The moment I fell in love with your eyes, it was game over. Blue took over my world.”
I pick up my head, my chin resting on his stomach when I look up at him. He continues to draw random shapes lazily on my skin.
“That was the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard.” I smile and tease him.
The corner of his lip tugs up. “It was, wasn’t it?”
I pinch my two fingers together while squinting with one eye.
“I guess I’m cheesy, then, because it’s true,” he tells me while brushing a piece of hair away from my face.
The touch of his fingers sends a chill down my spine.
He blinks slowly at me like he’s the calmest he’s been in years. “Let me take you out again. A re-do.”
“Another date? I don’t know, Ro. Are you taking me out again because we’re just friends?” I poke fun at him.
He shakes his head, placing a hand on his face while he curses at himself. “That was incredibly stupid of me to say. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I accept your apology. That’s what friends do.” I smirk.
“Okay, that’s enough.” He grabs my pillow and lightly hits me on the head, laughing.
We hear his phone buzz on the nightstand, both of us turning our heads toward it. He groans out of frustration. Reality pulls us out of this dreamy state of mind.
“I don’t want to get out of this bed,” he mutters.
“I know, but we have things to do,” I respond.
“The only things I want to do involve you, this bed, and some heavy breathing.”
“Rowan!” I exclaim in shock while my jaw drops from the unexpected response.
Getting up on my knees to grab his phone off the nightstand, I feel a gentle slap on my ass. I jolt up, pushing him by his shoulder while he laughs at me. I roll my eyes and hand him his phone.
He stifles his laugh and looks at his phone before answering. “What’s up, James?” He’s quiet for a beat. “Already? It’s only—” He pulls the phone away from his ear to look at it and puts it back. “—four o’clock.”
He looks at me and gives a tight smile, holding up a finger. I lie down and stare at the ceiling. When I start to space out with my thoughts, Milo comes crashing onto the bed, licking my face.
“Milo, I didn’t even hear you come in. How are you so sneaky?” I scratch his ears and chin.
“I need to go.” Rowan gets up, puts his jeans on, and tucks his phone into his pocket.
I sit up to look at him. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, James needs me to get there a little earlier than expected. The band that’s playing tonight has a lot of people coming to the brewery.” He bends down, his abs crunching in the process, grabs his shirt, and quickly puts it back on.
We walk out of the room with Milo following us. I cross my arms over my chest—suddenly feeling cold with goosebumps after the warmth from his body disappears—and watch him put his shoes on. I look over at the kitchen counter and remember we were in the middle of baking cookies.
“Oh, well, maybe I’ll see you there later tonight? If you want?” I ask hesitantly.
He lifts himself back up and gives me a warm smile. “I’d love that.”
He grabs me by the waist, pulling me into him, and I bury myself against his chest. I inhale the scent of vanilla and strawberry that surrounds us from our hair washing earlier. I feel one of his hands stroke my back in comfort as he kisses the top of my head.
My mind takes me back to the day I left. He was holding me the exact same way and kissing me on top of my head. Except that time, I was crying and telling myself to stay with Rowan.