Chapter 52
fifty-two
ELLIE
“What do I do? What do I do?” I whisper to myself while I stare at the white ceiling.
I’m lying on the cozy couch in the living room of the guest house, thinking to myself about many things. I’ve been in the same spot for two hours, going back and forth in my head. While I was out with Riley and Hailey at the beach, I got a phone call from my job.
I wanted to throw up when I saw “work” pop up on my phone screen. Chef Roberts wanted to know when I’d be returning. What I hadn’t expected her to say was that she thought of me as a daughter and was invested in me as her successor.
The dread started to settle into me after the phone conversation. My mind is completely blank on what I need to do. Not one single thing. All this pressure isn’t helping, needing to perform to the absolute best of my abilities. And this new role would up my stress tenfold.
My stomach turns with anxiety at the thought of it all. Especially when I need to get my stuff out of the apartment I shared with Charlie. I let myself forget all about that. Ugh. Being an adult blows.
I groan out of frustration when I feel my phone vibrate on my belly. I grab it and see a text from Rowan. I instantly smile.
Rowan: I’m taking you out tonight.
Ellie: Oh? A “date” re-do?
Rowan: Yes, and I promise that this time, I’m asking you because I have a crush on you. Hope that’s okay.
The cheesiest smile escapes from me, and I would gag at myself for how I look. Good thing I can’t see my reflection. At least he was smooth this time when asking me again. The very first time he asked me on a date, he stammered a lot and kept wiping his hands on his jeans because of how nervous he was.
Ellie: You have a crush on me? Oof, good luck with that. Three out of ten stars would not recommend it.
Rowan: I don’t know. I’m looking at the reviews right now and you’ve got high ratings. I’m looking at one right now by this guy named Rowan. Weird, we have the same name. He says he wished he didn’t fuck up the first time because he really, really likes you. Yikes, poor guy.
Ellie: lol what am I going to do with you?
Rowan: I’ll pick you up at 7pm.
Ellie: *heart emoji heart emoji heart emoji*
Rowan: *blush emoji*
* * *
“The beach?” I look at Rowan, who’s carrying a basket of goodies, a blanket, two hoodies, and a lantern.
We continue to walk toward the beach as the sun sets in the sky. A slight breeze pushes off the ocean, blowing my hair back behind my shoulders. Rowan told me to wear something comfortable. I wasn’t sure what that meant. Comfortable can mean a lot of things.
I played it safe, wearing leggings and an oversized shirt with my sneakers. Rowan is wearing gray sweatpants and a simple shirt. I keep catching myself looking down at his pants, and I’m going to rip my eyeballs out if I don’t stop. Ever since that incredible night, I can’t stop thinking about wanting him again.
“I thought going to the beach on our second ‘date’ wouldn’t have as much pressure as our first did. Now that we’ve gotten past the awkward first one and had amazing sex, I'm playing off our vibes.”
“And our vibes are the beach?” I smirk.
“Our vibe is chill, fun, and feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries while looking at the beautiful sunset.”
I look at him and let out a laugh. “Who are you?”
“I’m your best friend-turned-lover. Again.”
“Lover? Bold of you to assume I love you.”
“I know you love me as a friend, and I’m slowly working my way back up again. Don’t you worry.”
“And what about you?” I look at him again, his beautiful wavy hair blowing in the wind.
“What about me?” He looks down at me.
“Do I need to work my way up for you to love me more than a friend?”
“Who’s to say?” He winks at me.
Rowan puts the basket and lantern on the sand and then hands me a hoodie. I can’t help but bring it up to my nose and smell the scent of him. A manly smell but also comforting. I can’t explain it. It makes my knees weak, and that’s all that matters.
“Help me with this.” He opens the blanket, which is much larger than I expected. It could fit at least four people.
I grab the other end and help him place it on the sand. Once that’s done, we settle ourselves onto the blanket and he starts to grab things out of the wicker basket.
“Where did you get the basket from?” I point.
“Aunt Rosey.”
“Okay, that makes sense.” I nod.
He pauses to look at me. “What? You thought this was mine?” He gestures to it with his head.
“For all I know, it was helping you get back to Kansas, Dorothy.”
I make him laugh, his dimples showing off. My mind pushes me to kiss them before they disappear, and so I do. I catch him off guard completely.
He stops what he’s doing and looks at me with a shy smile. “What was that for?”
I shrug. “I really wanted to kiss your dimples.”
“My dimples? You’ve kissed them plenty of times before.”
“And each time, it gets better and better. They’re just so dang cute.” I squeeze his face with one hand and let go.
He looks down, trying to contain his small smile that wants to grow into a grin, then looks at me again. “Well, thank you.”
Rowan finishes taking everything out of the basket, and my eyes roam at what we have in front of us. A small charcuterie board with bread, burrata, sharp cheddar, and meats. On another small platter are chocolate-covered strawberries. He wasn’t lying about those.
I gasp when I see the sandwich shaped foil that he pulls out last. He passes it to me and then pulls out a tiny container filled with ketchup. Only Rowan wouldn’t judge me for my weirdness at what he’s made for me.
“I can’t believe you made this for me. Do you know how much the girls and August find it weird that I like cold grilled cheese and dip it in ketchup? They say it’s just a regular cheese sandwich at that point. They just don’t get it.” I unwrap the foil and marvel at the perfectly toasted bread. I look back at him with raised brows in question, expecting him to read my mind.
“Yes, I used mayo and not butter. I used four slices of white American cheese,” he says.
An evil laugh pours out of me as I wiggle my fingers that pick up the sandwich. I rip a piece off and dip a bit of it in the ketchup. “Mmm.”
“I won’t lie to you, but it took me a very long time to accept the fact that you eat grilled cheese like that. Normally, people will have grilled cheese with tomato soup. Both warm. It’s like you’re doing the complete opposite.”
I bounce my shoulders up and down in enjoyment. This is the best date I’ve ever had. I’m a cheap date. What can I say?
“And then you realized that I’m a genius.” I take another bite.
“Good thing you bake,” he mumbles.
“Hey.” I slap his arm. “I heard that.”
He laughs and digs into his own sandwich that he made. A “regular” sandwich. Whatever that means.
“Now you don’t get your gift.” I turn up my nose.
“You have a gift for me? Well, in that case, you are a genius. The best cook in the world. Whoever said cold grilled cheese is gross has no taste buds.”
“That’s what I thought.” I give him a big smile, grab my tote bag with his new board shorts, and hand them to him.
He unrolls them and holds them out. I keep my eyes on him while he looks over at what I’ve gotten for him. I hope he likes them even though they are just simple board shorts.
“Oh, hell yeah. You bought me new board shorts. I love the color.” He turns to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
“You like them? I was hoping the color was okay. August suggested a salmon color, which is not you, like at all.”
“No way, not me at all. These are perfect. Thank you.” He gives me another kiss on the cheek, and I feel his scruff brush against my skin in the most pleasurable way.