Chapter 55
fifty-five
ELLIE
“So, you told Charlie you were done for good, huh?” Riley asks, taking a bite of her burger.
“I sure did.” I grab a fry and toss it in my mouth, savoring the saltiness.
“What does this mean now?” Hailey asks.
“What do you mean? What does it mean?” I arch a brow at her.
“Like, are you going to have him move out of the place or what? What are your plans since you’re going home next week?” Hailey asks very nonchalantly, like it’s not a huge deal that I’m leaving. Everyone else has been making it a big deal. But that’s Hailey.
I pick up my cup and bite the straw, thinking before I take a drink. I didn’t tell them what the phone call was about that day on the beach—just work calling me about when I’ll be back. Which isn’t fully a lie. I’ve just left out some information I’m not ready to tell them yet.
I’ve been thinking about the possibility of staying and how I can make it work. Suppose I can make it work. I want to be with Rowan, there’s no hiding from that, especially with what happened the other night. I’ve decided that I won’t be sharing what he had planned ten years ago with anyone. I want that to be kept between me and him.
It’s also not my place to share. I’m still shell-shocked by that information. My mind won’t let me not hate myself. I was the reason Rowan didn’t talk to me for two years. I was the reason he went into such a dark place that it brought everything back up with his dad.
I don’t know if I could ever forgive myself for that. But I’m also trying to look at it in a different way. I’m here now with Rowan, and we’re letting ourselves have this second chance. This can be the chapter in our lives where he can finally do what he had planned eight years ago when I came back after culinary school only to go back to New York.
And the fact that he waited for me. It just makes me feel terrible all over again.
I would never make him leave Dove Point behind and go with me to New York. I know he would hate it. If he did come with me, he would pretend like he loved it for my sake and my job. Fuck. This stupid fucking job that’s draining every ounce of energy from me.
What if I do open my own bakery? I don’t have much in savings, but I could maybe look into a business loan. I would have to start researching. I can already imagine what the place would look like. Powder-blue painted walls, mosaic tiles, gold and vintage frames covering the walls with beautiful paintings.
It sounds so dreamy when I really think about it. I can make whatever I want, even for the holidays. Pies, tarts, cakes, brownies. Anything.
I also don’t need to make anything official with Rowan. We just—know…without having to say anything. When you spend thirteen years in love with someone, words aren’t needed.
“Earth to Ellie.” Riley snaps her fingers near my face.
I blink and look at her and Hailey. “What?”
“What are you going to do?” Hailey asks again.
I let out a slow, relaxing breath. “Well, things have gotten more complicated now, and my head is kind of all over the place,” I say quietly.
Hailey and Riley look at each other with curiosity and turn back to me.
“Go on,” Riley says, gesturing her hand in a circular motion.
I set my drink down and looked around us. Each table at the diner is almost full, so they cannot freak out over what I’m about to tell them. I lean over the table slightly and look back at them.
“What I’m about to tell you, you can’t freak out, okay? Well, there are two things I need to tell you,” I whisper.
Riley’s eyes go round with excitement, and Hailey grows a smirk. They both lean in across the table in the booth we’re sitting in. Their bright, hazel-green eyes stared at me in anticipation.
“I was offered a new position at my job as the executive pastry chef. I was on my way to tell Charlie the news when he told me his news instead. So, I never talked to him about it. I never gave my boss an answer, and that was who I was on the phone with the day we went to the beach.
“I told my parents, August, and Rowan about it. It felt really good to get it off my chest, but then it kind of made things more complicated for me, trying to figure out what exactly it is that I want to do. Then there’s Rowan. We have history. We all know this. That isn’t new. We’re both still in love with each other, and we’ve been having very hot sex. He definitely has learned a lot of things since we last slept together, and let me tell you, it’s mind-blowing.
“I never realized how big he is even though I lost my virginity to him, but I didn’t think about the size of a dick when I was a teenager. More just about being horny and your hormones going out of control. It’s really interesting to think about. But the man has me on my knees every day, both out of weakness and because I’m pleasuring him. So, yeah.” I let out a breath.
I look at them, waiting for a reaction, while they stare blankly at me.
Riley shakes her head. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I was given a promotion and me, and Rowan still love each other. And we’ve slept together multiple times.”
“Multiple times?” Riley shouts, causing everyone to turn their heads to us.
Hailey quickly pulls her sister into her and covers her mouth while Riley tries to continue to talk.
“Ew, did you lick me?” Hailey rubs her hand on her shirt.
Riley slaps Hailey’s arm with both her hands over and over and says, “Did you just hear what she said?”
“Yes, I did,” Hailey says quickly, her perfectly arched eyebrow rising.
“How are you not freaking out?” Riley exclaims.
“I don’t know. Maybe because I saw this coming? Why is this so surprising?”
“Hey, give me a little credit,” I tell Hailey.
“Was it good?” Riley asks quietly with a big smile. “Wait, tell me when.” She places her palms toward each other and slowly starts to move them outward. “Here?” She continues, and I stare, entertained, laughing. “Holy shit, here?” Her eyes go wide.
Hailey pushes Riley’s hands away. “She’s not going to tell you that, weirdo.”
“I’ll tell you about the guy I’m seeing if you at least give me a rating.” Riley smiles wide.
“Wait, pause, you’re seeing someone? Since when?” I ask.
Riley raises her shoulder like it’s no big deal. “I met him at the club we went to.”
“What,” I shout. “That was, like, weeks ago. Who is he? What does he look like?”
“Well, he’s tall, has a good head of hair, and the most gorgeous light brown eyes. It’s not serious or anything. We’re keeping things casual.” She smooths out the air with her hands.
“Do we get to meet the lucky guy?” I ask.
“Absolutely not. That’s why it’s casual. He has been to my place multiple times.” She wiggles her brows.
My mouth drops. “How?—”
“I’m very good at keeping things on the down low. No one knows except you guys.” Riley looks at me. “Now spill. What’s the rating?”
I bite down a smile before saying, “he’s this entirely different person when it’s just the two of us, and it’s really, really hot.” I bite my lip, thinking about the other night. “He does things that I never imagined he would do.”
I feel my toes curl just thinking about it. All it took was that one thought and now I need to leave this diner and go straight to him. I know he’s at work, but I don’t care. I need to touch his warm skin, hear the way he moans deeply, the way he fits so perfectly inside of me.
I squeeze my legs together and pull out my phone.
Ellie: Can I come to see you?
Rowan: You don’t need to ask me. I will always want to see my beautiful girl.
“I need to go. I’ll talk to you guys later,” I tell them as I slide out of the booth.
“Where are you going?” Riley whines.
Hailey looks at me with a devilish smile. “Probably to go sit on Rowan’s face.”
My eyes roll so hard they get stuck in the back of my head. Although, she isn’t wrong.