Chapter 59
fifty-nine
ELLIE
We walk outside into the backyard, where a ladder leans against the side of the house. I look at it and then back to Rowan.
“What are we doing?” I ask skeptically.
He points upward and says, “We’re going to go on the roof and star gaze.”
I let out a laugh. “What? Ro, we haven’t done that in years. I don’t know if it’s actually safe to do that.”
He starts to walk while holding my hand. “We did it all the time.”
“Yeah, when we were dumb kids who didn’t know any better. We’re adults now, and we definitely know better.”
We stop at the ladder, and he turns to me. “I promise we will be fine. I will not let you fall, and if you do, I will soften the fall for you. I will throw myself under you.”
“Have I ever told you how dramatic you are?”
“I’m only ever dramatic when it comes to you, my love.” He kisses the top of my head and then gestures to it. “After you.”
I stare at him and then back to the ladder.
“Go on.” I gesture with my hand.
I walk past him and carefully start to climb it step by step, taking my sweet ass time because I am not going to die today. I know I called Rowan dramatic, but I have every right to be. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten afraid of heights. If I look down now, it’s over.
I can feel myself gripping onto the sides of the cool metal, still moving carefully, one step at a time.
“You’re almost there. I’m holding it, so don’t worry,” I hear Rowan call up to me.
He’s holding it. Okay, that’s fine. My head gets to the top, and I can see the roof and the dark gray shingles. How did I do this as a teenager? I lean on the roof; thankfully, it’s a flat area, and I baby crawl on it.
I slowly turn around, and when I do, I see Rowan already at the top.
“I was afraid we’d end up seeing the sunrise by the time you got up here,” he tells me jokingly with a chuckle.
“Hey, I’m not as risky as I was when we were younger. I developed my frontal lobe long ago,” I say, turning slowly and sitting down.
He sits next to me, and the sun fully sets, bringing out the deep blue sky above us with specks of sparkles. It’s incredible up here. If you close your eyes, you can hear grasshoppers chirping and the waves crashing.
The town has plenty of lights to guide us, but we still have the pleasure of getting a night sky full of stars. I feel my body relax, and I take the opportunity to lie down on my back so I can get the full view.
Rowan follows my lead and grabs my hand. We lay there in complete silence. Comfortable silence makes me feel grateful. I feel his thumb brush the top of my hand, and I count out all the stars I can see.
“I never told you this,” I say, “but I used to go on the roof at my apartment and try to spot any stars I could. There would be moments when I thought I saw some, but they were just planes passing by. When I didn’t see any stars, I’d just look at the moon, wondering if you were looking at it too. And if we were looking at it together.”
I see his head turning toward me, but I keep my eyes on the sky.
“Every year on your birthday, I would come up on my roof,” he says, and his voice is deep and quiet.
I turn my head to look at him, and it’s like the stars never left because I see them in his beautiful dark blue eyes and the way they sparkle.
“Why?” I ask.
“After we would get off the phone, when I would call you to tell you a happy birthday, I’d wish I had more of you. The only way I could think of having that is by coming up here at night and looking at the stars.”
“Are you trying to make me cry, Rowan Williams?” I laugh through what sounds like a cry. I can feel my eyes prickle with tears.
“I would never try to make you cry. Not if it's a tear of anger or hurt or worry.”
I can feel a single tear fall down my temple, but Rowan gets closer to me and kisses it onto his lips. He sets his head back down and cradles my face with his other hand.
“I’d like very much to kiss you right now,” he tells me.
“I’m all yours.”
He leans in while still holding my cheek and presses a soft, warm kiss to my lips. I lean in toward him while my hand finds the nape of his neck. I feel his tongue slide into my mouth, and I suck on it, letting myself taste him in every way.
I feel his hand that was on my face, running down my neck shoulder, and stopping at my waist. I can feel his fingers dig into my skin in the most sensual way. I let out a small whimper when I feel him nip at my bottom lip.
A second later, I find my body turning itself toward him, wanting to feel him on me. He lets go of my hand and slides it on the other side of my waist, gently bringing me on top of him while our lips are still locked together.
My body shivers when I start to feel him press against me in the most delicious way. I can feel my knees start to get bothered with the material of the roof, but I don’t care. Let them get scratched up.
“I want to fuck you. Right here,” I tell him desperately against his lips.
I move my lips to his neck, his jaw, and the back of his ear.
“We will need to be very, very quiet.” His large hands caress my ass, moving my hips. “Do you think you can stay quiet?”
I moan quietly into his ear before telling him, “I can try. But I can’t make any promises.” I lift my gaze to him, and he licks my lips with the tip of his tongue before pulling me in for more.
I pull myself up and quickly unbutton his pants and see the pre-cum on his briefs. I look at him with a devilish smirk.
“That’s what you do to me, honey,” he says with a similar smirk.
I tug down his briefs just enough, and his hard, solid length springs upward. I need to wrap my hand around him. I need to feel the warmth. I only grab it long enough to lick his tip, making him inhale a sharp breath. I look up at him with an arrogant smile.
“Don’t tease me, Ellie,” he pleads.
I raise myself and go back to him, kissing him while I pull my lace underwear and cotton shorts to the side. I lift my hips up while still holding him in my hand and slide the tip of him back and forth along my clit.
His hand finds my hair and tugs on it so nicely while he lets out a groan. I feel his hips moving up, but I continue to tease him by stroking his tip up and down on me.
“You’re so goddamn wet.” He pulls me down to kiss him again. The kiss is rough and needy. His tongue plays with mine, begging me to give him more.
I smile against his lips and then drag his tip to my entrance, continuing to tease him while I take full control of him.
“Shit,” he groans. “Honey, Ellie, I will beg until my voice is hoarse. Please.”
I look at him and kiss him one more time before saying, “Well, since you asked nicely.” I kiss him while I lower myself onto him, and we both moan into each other’s mouths.
Every inch of him stretches me so perfectly, and I can’t get enough of it. I let go of him and lower myself on the rest of him until I feel him completely fill me. We continue to kiss while I rock my hips and move up and down.
His hands hold my hips, and I let him guide me at the rhythm he wants me at. A slow, lazy, loving pace. He wants to enjoy this. Enjoy me and how I feel. Nothing rough or fast, but just the comfortable, slow movement.
“I love you so fucking much, Ellie. You have no idea,” he breathes out while he stares into my eyes.
I push myself up and start to control my movements now. I look down at him, my hair falling into my face. “I love you, Rowan,” I say through each breath I take.
“You’re a fucking goddess, the way you look under these stars while you fuck me. You ride me so goddamn good, baby.” His fingers dig into my hips.
I let my hands roam over my body, going under my shirt and to my hard nipples. I play with them while I look at Rowan and the hunger he carries in his eyes for me.
He takes his hand, slips it under the fabric of my underwear, and starts to play with me, sending a shockwave through my body. I gasp and pull one of my hands from my shirt to cover my mouth, holding in a moan I so desperately want to let out.
Rowan gives me a pleasurable smile. “You like that?”
I nod my head, still covering my mouth. He makes circular motions with his thumb, keeping up with the pace of me riding him. I can feel myself start to lose control and quicken my pace. I bend down and, place my hands on his cheeks and kiss him, tugging on his lip, sucking his tongue.
The position I’m in lets me go deeper and quicker. I feel myself reaching the edge of pleasure when he continues to rub me over and over.
“I’m close,” he says in a rasp.
We kiss harder, and I move my hips more and more. As fast as I can go. The pain in my knees dulls as the pleasure in my body rises.
“Rowan, I’m close.”
“Keep riding me, baby. Let me fill you up.”
He tugs my hair, bites on my lip, and tips me over into the best orgasm. I moan into his mouth, and he continues to rub my clit, letting me ride it out. I hear him groan, and his hand tightens on my waist.
“Shit,” he whispers into my mouth.
I keep my lips on him, trying to cover all the noise we’re making. His breath quickens, and his hips thrust into me when I’m too tired to keep going. I lift my hips while he pumps into me. I bury my face in his neck, taking in the fresh scent of him, and kiss his neck until I feel him start to slow down.
I set myself back down on him and keep him in me while we kiss and pant. His hands cradle my face, and he looks at me. His dark eyes searched mine.
“We just fucked on the roof,” he says, out of breath.
I smile and nod. “Yeah, we did.”
He looks at me and raises his brows. “That was awesome.”