Chapter 6 #2
As soon as Elodie got out of her car, I knew something was wrong.
Rufus got a guarded smile from her, but she dropped her gaze as soon as I grinned.
At the same time, my tongue was lolling out of my damn mouth.
The woman’s got legs for miles. The hummingbirds on one of her feet swirl high enough to wrap around her ankles in a shower of blue, green, and black.
Her baggy shirt only teases at what her top the other day showed me.
But those shorts? I’ve been fighting an erection since she arrived.
Elodie in baggy clothing is a mystery I want to unwrap, but Elodie in shorts makes me revert to a teen who can’t control his hormones.
I have images of sliding the fabric down her legs.
Is she wearing underwear?
The peek of red and pink rose petals outlined in black from under the hem across her thigh is almost my undoing. How many more surprises are there?
She’s quiet while sitting on my back deck. The dog is asleep under the table, and I’m prouder than hell of having a girl hang with me at my home while I’m cooking for her. I never thought I’d have a life like this, and there hasn’t been someone who made me think that sharing it would be worth it.
After our lunch, I was stupidly optimistic, envisioning a future just because she told me something about herself. Those fantasies are slipping out of my fingers like a handful of grain, several kernels at a time.
I lay the meat across the grill. “Want a beer, a cocktail, or water? Juice?”
She gives me a faint smile. “I’d better stick with water. What can I help you with?”
“Nothing, chef. You get served today.”
I’m rewarded with a slightly bigger grin. “It feels weird to get waited on.”
I’ll make sure she gets used to it if she gives me a chance. “I called Mae and got a recipe for her pasta salad to go with the steaks. I wasn’t sure if you liked pasta salads with mayo, or if you’re an Italian dressing girl, so I made both.”
Her laugh has a hint of resignation. “You’re too good, Cruz. Either one sounds good. You making a whole other salad is not fine.”
“It would’ve been my bad for not checking first. Wait here.” Just as I pass her, I lean down. “I like to think I finally got the balance right—I’m not too good but the right amount of bad.”
I duck inside to get her water and bring out the tray I have loaded with a pasta salad.
The veggies I prepared are already on the grill in a foil packet.
When I step outside, she’s gazing into the distance with a stricken expression.
Damn, her face is pale. If I ask what’s wrong, she’ll shut down even more.
That patience I told her about earlier needs to be in full effect.
“How was your week?” I try to get her talking while I’m grilling, and all I can think of that’s safe are the standard questions.
“Good.”
“Were you busy?”
“Yes, but a normal busy for this time of year.”
I wait, but that’s all I get. Short, succinct answers. Whatever tanked her day before she arrived is still sitting with her. “How do you think the weekend is going to be?”
“I’ll benefit from the Rafting and Tasting crowd.
It helps that the booking office isn’t far away from the bakery.
” She takes a drink of water and flips her hair off her shoulders.
The strands fall to her mid-back. She crosses one leg over the other, and her shorts ride up to reveal almost her entire leg.
Now I can’t think of a single damn question.
“How about you?” she asks.
It’s a good thing I can small talk for hours. “Yeah, it’ll be a big sales day.”
I have to turn my back to her. Along with seeing more of her leg, a bigger portion of the bouquet of flowers is revealed.
I could drag my nose along that creamy thigh, starting at the last hummingbird on her ankle and moving up.
She’ll smell as sweet and delicious as the real version of those flowers.
“Apparently, there’s a rafting crew of just women, and Campbell’s warned us that they might be wild.” When I turn back, Elodie’s gaze is flinty.
“How nice.”
I cross to her and squat down. “I might smile real pretty, but that’s in the name of customer service. I’m not interested.”
“You haven’t met any of them.” Her throat works up and down, like she’s pushing down emotion over and over again.
“Elodie, you can talk to me. What’s wrong?”
A shaky laugh leaves her. “I thought I could do this, but I can’t.” She pushes the chair back and stands so fast I nearly topple backward.
I throw a hand out to catch the corner of the table, steady myself, and rise.
“I can’t do this. Trust me when I say it’s not you.” Her voice breaks. “It’s so not you; it’s me.” She rushes around me to the stairs and stops before taking the first step. “I’m so sorry.”
She runs off.
Ditching the steak on the grill, I dart after her, Rufus on my heels. “Elodie, can we talk?”
“No. You’re too— And I’m—” She spins, and I nearly run into her.
I want to push my hands through her hair and kiss the pain in her features away.
“I’m a mess. My life is a mess. I tried to get it together, and it’s not there yet.
And you’ve—” Another sardonic laugh leaves her.
“Anyone would be lucky to have you, but it can’t be me.
” Tears glitter in her eyes. “I gave away my luck, and I’m still paying for it. ”
She spins and darts around the corner to her car. I’m frozen in place. Her engine fires up, her tires crunch on gravel, and then the noise fades and it’s quiet again. Nothing but birds and frogs chirp around me.
I stab a hand through my hair and look down at myself as if I morphed into that dirty kid right before she ran.
Wouldn’t be the first date to ditch me because of how I looked.
Rufus gazes up at me, and I give him a shrug.
What did I do? Could I have done something different?
Do I just walk away from years of infatuation?
If I tried to pursue it, would that be stalking?
I don’t know.
The smell of seasoned meat and charcoal drifts across my nose. Shit. The food. I run back, flip the steaks, and take the salad inside. At least it’s covered. Then I plop into the chair Elodie vacated and let out a long, slow exhale. Her glass of water collects condensation next to me.
There has to be something I can do. I’m not too good for her. That’s bullshit.
I could call my brother, but he’d probably assume I did something to piss Elodie off. Only she wasn’t angry. She was . . . distraught. Crestfallen. It doesn’t make sense.
Dialing the one person I know will be able to tell me exactly what to do, I slump in the chair.
“Cruz,” Mae answers warmly. “How are you?”
I feel like I got kicked in the gut by a horse. “I need some advice.” I spill everything, from my years of trying to get to know Elodie to tonight, when I thought this date would surely lead to a third and then a fourth and more.
While I talk, I rescue the steaks from the grill and let them rest next to me. They’re grilled to perfection and I would’ve loved to show off my char lines to Elodie.
Mae makes a sympathetic sound. “Clearly, she’s had some bad experiences. Perhaps her past is still haunting her, and she feels like it’ll either ruin what you two could’ve built, or that it could just ruin either one of you.”
“What do I do?” I’m not a guy who just gives up, and there’s a pull between me and Elodie that is special. She feels it too, and she wants to give in. An outside source should not be fucking with us.
“Times like this, she needs a friend.”
I don’t want to be her fucking friend. But I’ll take that over nothing. Something’s bothering her, and now that I’ve got glimpses of the brightness inside of her that she hides, I want to help her. “I can do that.”
“Also, Cruz?”
I perk up. Mae’s a sweet woman, but she didn’t survive fostering so many kids to be merely kind. She had to be crafty, subversive, intuitive, and downright fierce at times. I know. I experienced it. “Yeah?”
“Friends need to eat too.”