6. Brandy
6
brANDY
Standing on my front porch last night with Diesel had me thinking about all kinds of things. Things I shouldn’t be thinking about. I would be crazy to think there’s any kind of future with a biker. I’ve seen firsthand that they’re not the settling-down type. But even knowing that, I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Diesel had kissed me. At least I thought he was going to.
And that’s what I thought about all night. I guess it’s a good thing because if I wasn’t thinking about Diesel and the fact he didn’t kiss me, I’d been thinking about everything that happened with Axle, and there’s no way I’m ready to process all that.
After a sleepless night and then cleaning my house this morning and avoiding questions from my Uncle Thomas, I get ready to leave for work. I’m both nervous and even a little excited. Nervous because a part of me doesn’t believe that they just kicked Axle out of the club and excited because I want to see Diesel again to see if I’d imagined all the sexual tension between the two of us.
I walk through the big front doors. It’s early afternoon, and things won’t get kicking around here for a few hours, but there are a few people sitting at tables around the clubhouse. I nervously look around. I’ve already decided that if Axle is here, I’ll just turn around and walk back out. There’s no way I’ll work here if he’s around.
I get farther into the clubhouse when I hear my name called from across the room. Pres is sitting at a table with Scout. I take a deep breath and walk toward them. This is it , I think. They’re going to fire me .
“Hey, Pres. Hey, Scout.” I give them a little wave and then drop my hand, feeling foolish.
Pres doesn’t show emotion. He points at the chair between him and Scout, and I sit down in it.
He’s looking at me, but I feel like he’s not happy about it. His whole demeanor is tense as he starts to talk. “You were hurt last night at the hands of this club. I know an apology is not going to change anything, but I want you to know that we don’t approve of Axle’s actions, and he’s been dealt with. He won’t bother you again.”
I open my mouth to speak, but he holds his hand up. “I’m not finished.”
My eyes widen, and I nod my head. I look at Scout, and he’s smiling at me encouragingly.
Pres puts his arms on the table in front of him and leans toward me. “I know the shit you’re dealing with from your father’s incarceration. I’m sure you’ve heard by now that we’re opening a club in Whiskey Run, Tennessee. Half the brothers from here are moving there, myself, Diesel, and Scout included. You have the option to stay on here if you wish, but if you want a fresh start, you’re more than welcome to join us in Tennessee.”
When he’s done, I quietly stare at him, trying to process everything. Only when he leans back, crosses his arms over his chests, and says, “You can speak now” do I ask the first question on my mind. “Uh, if I move to Tennessee, what would I be doing?”
His forehead creases. “What you’ve been doing here.”
I nod. “Uh, yeah, but Ashley said that only cherries are going, and uhm, I’m not interested in being a cherry.”
Pres smiles and shakes his head. “So you probably don’t know this about me, but not much scares me.”
I nod. “I can see that.”
He’s still smiling. “But yeah, the thought of telling Diesel I’d invited you on the trip as a cherry scares me. It’s not going to happen. So if you go, you would be doing what you’re doing now and working for Scout.”
I’m too shocked to speak, so I only nod. I start to get up, and Pres says, “I really am sorry about Axle. Are you, uh—are you okay?”
I nod. I’ve always thought that Pres was sort of an ass. I’ve heard rumblings about why he doesn’t like women, and I guess I understand it. We all have our hangups, I guess. But all in all, he seems like a decent guy. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
He nods, and I look at Scout. “Where do you want me to get started?”
“We’re doing a meal later when the crew gets back. Can you start some meal prep?”
I’m already walking toward the kitchen. “I’m on it.”
I get to the kitchen and start grabbing things from the refrigerator. The menu for tonight is written on the dry erase board, and I see we’re doing a taco buffet for tonight. I start cutting vegetables and prepping the meat, all while thinking about Diesel. The night goes on, and the bikers come in at different times. Obviously, they were on a run tonight, but I never ask any questions. I think the less I know, the better.
Every time the big front doors open, I’m holding my breath, waiting to see Diesel come in. The longer the night goes, the more antsy I get. At this point, I feel as if I’ve imagined every caressing look, the possessive feel of having his arms around me, the caring look in his eyes. I’m sure he would do any of those things for any woman that had been through what I’d been through.
Finally, the last of the guys start to come in, and when Diesel walks through the door, I can’t keep the smile from my face. He stands out from the rest of the guys, probably due to his size. I see him looking around the room and freeze, wondering if he’s looking for me. He’s almost looking at me when Peggy, one of the cherries, walks up to him and puts her hand on his arm. He smiles down at her, and a giant pit forms in my stomach. I should have fuckin’ known. Damn, I’m so stupid sometimes. It sucks too, because Peggy was actually one of the women I sort of liked.
I turn before anyone can see the pained expression on my face. I work at condensing the buffet table. There’s still plenty of food left, and I’m putting pans together trying to keep busy. I completely ignore Diesel. I know I’m being childish. Technically, he didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not like we’re dating or anything.
I pick up the pans and turn to go to the kitchen, and Diesel’s standing in front of me. I look at his chest to avoid his eyes. “Do you want a beer?”
He pauses for a minute. “Uh, sure.”
I nod, walking past him. I put all the plates and pans on the counter and then go out front to grab a beer for him. I take a deep breath and set it down in front of him. He and some of the guys are talking, so I walk away without a word.
I start wiping down tables, and I have to admit, I really take my frustrations out on these tables. I get lost in my work until I hear my name from behind me. I turn, and Renegade is smiling at me. Usually, I’m all business, and I definitely don’t flirt, but my bruised ego has my lips tilting up at him. “What can I get you, Renegade?”
He laughs. “Well, I can think of a few things I’d like you to give me, but I’ll settle for a beer.”
I shake my head at him. “One beer coming up.”
I walk through the tables, and I can see Diesel is watching me. He’s sitting on the edge of his seat as if he’s about to get up. The beer in his hand is still almost full, so I don’t ask him if he needs another. I grab a beer for Renegade and walk back toward him.
I set the beer down in front of him. Normally, at this point, I walk away. I never fraternize with the guys, but something has me stopping. “You doing all right tonight, Ren?”
His brows raise in surprise. He looks past me, and I swear I hear a growl from over my shoulder, but I ignore it. Renegade leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. He’s laughing, and I don’t know if it’s at me or with me. “I’m doing good, Brandy.” His voice drops a little. “And if you’re trying to make Diesel jealous, you won’t have to try very hard. I’m pretty sure he’s about to punch something.”
I roll my eyes. After the Pres’ comment earlier and now Renegade’s, I feel like everyone knows something I don’t. I just shake my head at him. “Well, let me know if you need anything else.”
I turn to go and see Diesel is standing up, hands flexing at his sides, and he does in fact look as if he’s about to punch something. I look away and start walking, but before I can get behind the bar, he’s next to me. “What the fuck was that, Brandy?”
He towers over me, and he looks fierce, but there’s not one part of me that is even remotely scared. I look at him innocently. “What the fuck was what?”
He blows out a breath. “You got a thing for Ren?”
I laugh because this whole thing is ludicrous. “I talked to him. Talked.”
He shoves his big meaty hand through his hair. “You don’t talk to anyone.”
I shrug. He’s right about that, but there’s no way that I’m going to tell him that I was talking to Renegade because he was talking to a cherry. No way. He’ll think I’m a stage four clinger.
He leans down to where we’re eye to eye. “Talk to me. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours? You want me to leave you alone, you just have to tell me. You don’t have to throw yourself at other men...”
Now I’m mad. The music is loud, but the people around are obviously all listening in to us. I’m seething and spitting the words at him, wanting to yell but trying to do it quietly. “First of all, I wasn’t throwing myself at him. I talked to him. Second of all, what are you even talking about? You can just go off with one of your cherries and see if they can help you... help you... arghhhhh... forget it.”
I storm off and barely get to the kitchen when Diesel comes busting through. “I’m not with any of the cherries.”
I roll my eyes and start loading the pans into the sink to wash them. As soon as I set them down, Diesel grabs my arm and turns me to look at him. He’s pissed, but he’s gentle when he puts his hand on my chin and tilts my head up. His eyes are pleading with me. “Talk to me. What did I do?”
I sigh and shake my head. “Nothing. You didn’t do anything.”
He doesn’t let go of me. “Is this because of Peggy? If so, she was just thanking me. Her son was getting into fights at school, and I went and talked to him. That’s all. There’s nothing going on between us.”
When I don’t say anything, his thumb goes across my lip. “How’s your mouth?”
I had completely forgotten about my lip. “It’s fine. What are we doing here, Diesel?”
His hand moves to my neck, and his thumb strokes across my pulse point there. My heart is racing, but I’m used to it because it’s like that any time I’m near him. “What do you mean?” he asks me huskily.
In sheer frustration, I blurt it all out. “I mean, you didn’t kiss me last night, but you act like some jealous boyfriend today.”
He leans into me, wrapping his arms around me. His chin is resting on the top of my head. “I didn’t kiss you yesterday because you had just gone through traumatic event. What kind of man would I be if I pawed at you after that?”
I pull back and look up at him. “You wanted to kiss me?”
His jaw is pulled tight. “Fuck, yeah, I wanted to kiss you. You’re all I think about, Brandy. For weeks, I’ve tried to get you to talk to me, and I thought I needed to go slow with you.”
I grab on to the front of his shirt and pull him down to me. “Kiss me, Diesel.”
He’s looking at my mouth. “Your lip...”
“Is fine,” I tell him.
I barely get the words out, and he seals his lips over mine. His hands go to my waist, and he lifts me up, setting me on the counter behind me. He fits his massive body between my legs. His hands move up my back, across my shoulders, and then wrap around my neck. His kiss is relentless. I wasn’t ready for the level of desire it brought out of me. I lean into him, taking everything he’s giving me. A groan escapes me, and he takes full advantage. His tongue delves into my mouth and mates with mine. His hands go to my hips, pulling me tighter against him.
My breasts are smashed to his hard chest, and desire floods between my legs. I knew kissing Diesel would be on a whole other level. I just had no idea how addicting it would be.