Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Amber braced herself, knowing the squirrel who’d just darted across their treelined path would be a temptation Mocha couldn’t deny herself.
“Stay,” Amber said, her voice steady and firm.
“Stay,” Nora, Amber’s birth mom, reiterated but her voice was full of mirth.
Mocha glanced back, apology in her eyes, but she was only a puppy after all. How could she not . . .
“Mocha!” Amber cried, her voice cutting off abruptly as she was yanked forward by the Great Dane.
Puppy was a relative term when it came to Amber’s mom’s new baby. Yes, in manners and actual years, Mocha was just a baby. But in mass? The dog was nearly the size of any full grown canine. Amber wasn’t used to the exuberance of a puppy mixed with such mass.
“Mocha!” Nora also yelled but as Amber glanced back at her birth mother, she saw her support system had abandoned her to doubled-over laughing.
“Mama Nora!” Amber reprimanded as she was forced to turn her efforts toward the dog still tugging on her leash. Thankfully Amber had double wrapped the leash around her hand but she also felt like her arm was a little loose in the socket.
“I’m sorry. She’s just so dang cute,” Nora called back.
Amber rolled her eyes as the puppy finally came to a stop. Not because of Amber or Nora’s reprimands but because the squirrel had run up into the safety of a tree and was mockingly watching Mocha below.
Mocha sniffed around the undergrowth in bewilderment, unsure how her quarry had escaped.
Amber slid the leash off of her hand as soon as she heard Nora’s footsteps behind her, shaking out her sore wrist. There would be no more walking of Mocha for Amber until she was better trained. And seeing the way Nora spoiled the puppy? Amber was pretty sure that might never happen.
Mack, Nora’s husband, was insisting that the training had to happen. He’d said he wasn’t going to let his beloved wife live with an untrained dog who would grow to be nearly the same size she was.
But Mack was weak when it came to Nora and Nora was weak when it came to Mocha so Amber didn’t see it going well for any of them.
“She’s all yours,” Amber said as she handed off the leash.
“She didn’t mean it,” Nora defended her dog, pointing to her now calm demeanor.
Mocha had the decency to glance down, as if slightly ashamed, but Amber was pretty sure it was more likely that she’d found something of interest crawling in the grass.
“Even if she didn’t. Next time I will be safely walking beside you and then I’ll be the one laughing as your giant dog takes off after a squirrel and drags you along.”
Nora chuckled, conceding that Amber had a point.
“So this is the calm before the movie storm?” Nora asked as they made their way back to the dirt path. They were on the backside of Whisling Park, which had designated dog paths. Amber had never had the need to use the paths before but she was finding she was truly enjoying the venture into nature. She’d spent far too much time indoors at her inn that week.
With the filming of Julia Price’s movie starting up in just a few days, most of the film’s stars were already beginning to check in, settling into their accommodations. Some were staying at homes on the island, the bigger names like Aiden Christensen and Joshua Baker, but most of the movie’s cast and crew were staying at the best inn on the island. If Amber could say so herself.
It did help that Aiden, who was dating her sister and business partner Elise, had given the inn a glowing recommendation to all of his castmates. The movie was great for business, considering that not only was this a large group who would fill most of their vacant rooms, but they were also going to stay for the duration of the movie—so a couple of months of solid business. Meaning the inn was full up until midsummer.
The only reason Aiden wasn’t staying with them was because Josh had a house on the island and it made sense for them to have a true homebase if they could.
“I guess you could say that. Though about seventy percent of the long-term stays have already checked in,” Amber said as she glanced around.
It wasn’t exactly private information she was sharing, as she’d given no specifics, but she also didn’t want to broadcast to the world what was happening at her inn.
Something Amber had learned in her time knowing Aiden and Josh was that movie people highly valued their privacy.
But she saw no one else on the trail near them and felt it was safe to continue.
“It’s mostly crew that are here so far. The cast seems to be waiting until the last minute to show.” Amber grinned, watching Nora take several stumbling steps forward as Mocha tugged at the leash.
“The perks of being the face of the movie?” Nora asked between gritted teeth, telling Amber just how much effort she was having to put into keeping the dog under control.
“Something like that. You really need to get her into puppy school.”
Nora nodded and then gasped as Mocha decided to sprint for four steps for absolutely no reason before slowing to a saunter.
Amber laughed but was quickly silenced when Mocha began barking like crazy. Nora hadn’t double wrapped the way Amber had and she lost her grip on the leash as Mocha darted forward, beelining toward a person that was coming up the path.
“Mocha!” the mother and daughter cried out in unison, but the puppy couldn’t have cared less.
Amber’s heart raced with not only the exertion of sprinting after the dog but also with fear. Mocha wouldn’t attack the stranger, would she?
As they grew closer Amber could see they were heading toward a man who appeared to be larger than average size. Maybe he could hold his own against Mocha?
Mocha skidded to a stop, her barking unceasing, but at least she hadn’t leapt on the stranger.
It wasn’t until Mocha seemed to chill out a bit that Amber took in the man and realized that he was indeed no stranger.
“Josh?” she asked over the loud barking.
“Mocha, shush!” Nora commanded, but of course the dog paid no mind.
“At least she’s adorable?” Josh said loudly without moving.
Smart man. Amber hoped Mocha wouldn’t bite anyone but right now she couldn’t be sure of anything where the dog was concerned.
Nora lifted Mocha’s leash and then double wrapped before tugging it hard.
“That was not nice, Mocha.” Nora spoke as if reprimanding a child. Amber was surprised Nora didn’t try to get the dog to apologize.
Mocha’s barking became a little more sporadic now that she’d been joined by Nora and Amber but she seemed still unconvinced that Josh wasn’t a threat.
“At least I know the two of you are safe when she’s around,” Josh said, causing Mocha’s barking to begin in earnest once more.
“She is a good dog, isn’t she?” Nora said proudly.
“No, Mama Nora. She might have attacked Josh.” Amber hadn’t ever seen this pushover side of her birth mother and she wasn’t sure she liked it.
“But she didn’t.”
“Mama Nora,” Amber said with no nonsense in her tone. The way Nora needed to speak to her dog.
“Obedience school. I get it. I’ll look into it as soon as I get home. Speaking of which, I think I’d better be off. Mocha and I have had enough excitement for one day.”
Amber nodded. She couldn’t agree more.
Her mom did her best to haul Mocha after her but it wasn’t until Josh pretended to be walking away from Amber that Mocha finally left them to the peaceful quiet of the Whisling Island spring afternoon.
“She’s quite the dog,” Josh said, looking after the odd pair as he circled back to Amber.
Mocha was still obviously in charge but seemed to be okay with where Nora was attempting to lead her. Amber wasn’t sure how her mom had made it through her first two weeks of dog ownership.
“Yeah. She really can be sweet. But she’s a giant puppy who has very firm ideas on how strong puppies should behave. None of her ideas align with mine.”
Josh smiled. “I didn’t realize Mama Nora was in the market for a dog.”
“Neither did she.” Amber laughed. “But there’s some rich woman who lives up in the hills who wanted to buy some of Mama Nora’s work. Mama Nora took her newest piece up for the woman to see in her home and her Great Dane had just had puppies. Mama Nora saw Mocha and was lost. She came home from that meeting down a piece of artwork and one puppy richer. Mack is sure Mama Nora got the worse end of the deal.”
Josh chuckled and it wasn’t until then that Amber realized that somehow during the chaos of Mocha, she’d been abandoned. She’d been so busy worrying about her mom and Mocha getting out of there while leaving Josh in one piece that she’d forgotten that Mama Nora had been her ride.
Amber bit her lip as she glanced from the direction Mama Nora had gone to Josh and then back again.
“Do you need a ride?” Josh asked, seeming to read Amber’s mind.
It was scary how many times the man seemed to be able to do just this. Amber had been told all of her life she wore her emotions on her sleeve but with Josh it was more than that. Like he had a sixth sense that was dedicated to Amber. It both scared and thrilled her. But she let the fear reign supreme for the time being. Because the latter meant letting Josh in and that felt . . . Amber’s stomach rose to her throat so she didn’t finish that thought.
But she did need a ride. Unless she called Elise, Mama Nora, or a ride share. She guessed she could do so but that felt like a slap in the face to Josh, considering he’d only ever been kind to her. And taking a ride wasn’t the same thing as letting him in. So she was safe.
Amber started walking again and Josh joined her. “Yeah, that would be great. Mama Nora must have forgotten she was supposed to drive me home,” Amber answered, trying to keep her fear from showing because she wasn’t exactly afraid of Josh. Far from it. She felt surprisingly comfortable with Josh, considering he was one of the biggest stars of their time. He had always made her feel safe, seen, appreciated. Special. And that was what scared Amber. What Josh made her feel.
“Or she assumed I’d be more than happy to do so,” Josh muttered under his breath, or at least that was what Amber heard.
“What was that?” Amber asked, turning to her . . . what was Josh to her? She would say they were at least friends but friends didn’t feel like an adequate word. Aiden was her friend and what she felt for Josh was way more than . . . nope, that line of thought had to stop too. Amber had been played a fool once. By a man who wasn’t nearly as good, hot, kind, funny, or successful as Josh. If her ex could leave her at the drop of a hat, how could she possibly hope to keep a man like Josh, who was better in every way?
“I was just meaning Mama Nora can clearly see what it seems like you refuse to see,” Josh said slowly, as if testing the words.
He stopped walking and Amber couldn’t help but do the same. Especially because she was confused. What was she refusing to see?
She glanced up into Josh’s deep brown gaze and suddenly felt unsteady.
“Amber, I’m not sure how this is getting lost in translation, but I really like you.”
Amber’s throat went dry and she couldn’t have spoken even if her brain hadn’t stalled out on her.
“I fell pretty hard the moment I saw you but then I got to know you and realized your beauty hardly scratched the surface of how incredible you are. You are insightful, loyal, hardworking, fun loving, and truly enjoy seeing those around you happy. In the shallow world that I’ve resided in, those qualities are practically nonexistent. And to find them all in one person? Is it any reason I make a fool of myself every time I’m around you?”
“You don’t make a fool of yourself,” Amber managed in a small voice because that seemed like the easiest part of what Josh had said to address. She’d thought he’d only ever been willing to hang out with her because she was convenient. The sister of his best friend’s girlfriend. But to hear Josh lay it out like this?
Her heart beat against her ribcage as she attempted to say something more. But how could she speak when her thoughts were traveling so rapidly? She couldn’t hold onto anything.
“I’ve been trying to ask you out for months now. But I was a wimp and let myself hide behind double dates and needing dates for events or whatever else I did. Clearly that wasn’t working, so when I arrived on the island today I was on a mission, to be honest. Completely and wholly. I couldn’t let you doubt how much I admire and care for you. I want to know you better. I want to go on dates with you and no one else.” Josh paused and something on Amber’s face caused him to add, “I’ve come on too strong.”
Amber took in a deep breath that she didn’t realize she’d been holding and quickly shook her head no.
“I just” . . . Amber breathed once more. “I didn’t see this coming.”
Josh still didn’t move and Amber knew she needed to say more. The quietly confident man was showing a whole lot of his quiet side and much less of his confidence and the last thing Amber wanted to do was put a dent in that armor and yet . . .
“You know every woman on this planet would love to date you,” she began. It was probably a slight exaggeration. There had to be women who were happy in their relationships, but besides them? Amber couldn’t imagine anyone not willing to do whatever they could do be with Josh.
So why was he choosing her?
“Lots of women have those qualities you mentioned,” Amber continued, knowing she wasn’t really boosting his confidence, but she had to show Josh she wasn’t his best option. He’d realize it eventually and she couldn’t let herself fall for him in the meantime, only to inevitably crash and burn.
Except her racing heart could no longer hide the truth. She’d already fallen harder than she imagined for the man in front of her. Keeping him at a distance was the only thing allowing her to continue telling herself that lie.
And now that that distance had collapsed to nothing?
She had to make him understand she wasn’t anything special. She was just Amber. Placed for adoption Amber. Abandoned fiancée Amber. Last choice Amber.
And he was Joshua Baker. He had to understand they were worlds apart.
While the people who should have cherished her had given up on her, he was hunted by the paparazzi, dreamed about by women around the world, and had literal billboard campaigns dedicated to him.
She was none of those things. And worse, she didn’t aspire for any of them. If Amber was truly honest with herself, her wounds from Raul were healing. She wasn’t as scarred from his hurts as she’d allowed herself to believe. Time had done the thing it always seemed to do and she was remarkably like herself again.
But even the best version of Amber couldn’t be good enough for a man like Josh.
So maybe she was ready to love and be loved by someone, but not Joshua Baker. Even if her traitorous heart wanted no one but him.
Josh took a hold of one of Amber’s hands, cradling it in both of his.
“Amber, I don’t care about the lots of women. I honestly don’t care about anyone right now except for you. I’ll try to say this in the most non-creepy way because I’ve said this in my head a million times and each time sounds ridiculous, but you have to know. I watch you every time you’re in a room. My eyes can’t help but be drawn to you. I’ve seen the good you do when you think no one is watching. The way you let others shine. The way you love so thoroughly. I can’t imagine any man luckier than the one who gets to be at your side. And I want to be that man. If you’ll have me?”
Amber bit her lip. If she’ll have him? He was absolutely ridiculous if he thought that was her hang-up. But he had to see how impossible this all was. Going on the couple of dates they had was one thing, but for him to want something more?
“I don’t think . . . ” Amber began.
Josh shook his head. “Please stop thinking and tell me what you feel.”
Amber closed her eyes. That was too much. She couldn’t hand her innermost desires to this man on a silver platter. And yet how could she keep it from him? He’d laid himself bare. He was only asking her to do what he’d already done.
“I’m . . . scared.” Amber began with the safe emotion. And it was the truth.
Josh nodded, practically begging with his big, brown eyes for Amber to continue.
“I feel inadequate of the praise you’ve heaped on me.”
Josh shook his head but didn’t speak, allowing Amber this time to process her thoughts without interruption.
“I feel happy too. Even though my brain is telling me to stop it. I feel safe and adored even though my brain is telling me it can’t be real. I feel . . . I feel like I need you in my life, Josh. And nothing has ever frightened me more. Because I don’t need people. I love people, I help people, I want people, but I don’t need them. Because people, even the best of people, have failed me in the past. I feel so much that I don’t know what to do with it. That’s,” Amber cleared her throat, raising her eyes timidly to meet his, “what I feel.”
Josh smiled as he took Amber’s other hand.
“Do you want to be with me?” he asked, his honesty clearer than the sky on a cloudless day.
Amber swallowed. “Your life is in LA and my life is here and I’m not so fond of the way you’re hounded and . . . ”
“Amber, do you want to be with me . . . Josh. The man who is standing here in front of you offering you his whole heart?”
Tears began to fall down Amber’s cheek. She used her shoulder to try to wipe them away because she didn’t want to let go of Josh. She couldn’t. She hadn’t lied when she’d said she needed him.
After the honesty of that day, pushing him away was no longer an option. Really there was only one way forward. And even though Amber’s fear fought her every step of the way she opened her mouth and said, “I want you.”
Josh tugged Amber forward so quickly that she nearly slammed into his chest; only his arms going around her back to steady her kept her from completely falling. At least physically. Emotionally . . . in her soul? She’d already tumbled.
“Then we’ll make this work,” Josh promised and before Amber could allow any doubt in, Josh leaned down, his lips pressing gently against Amber’s. A sweet promise she’d always remember.