Chapter 13
Addison
I stared at my phone as tears formed in my eyes, threatening to leave salty trails down my cheeks.
I hated that I was letting someone like Daniel Jacobs make me cry, but I couldn’t help it.
The tears came and they didn’t stop. Angry, devastated drops fell on my pillow as I clutched my sheets around me.
I wanted to tell him in person, but as soon as I heard his voice, I just had to get it out. The words came tumbling out of me so quickly I couldn’t grab hold of them and were met with a coldness I wasn’t expecting. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that.
His iciness on the phone before I even dropped the bomb on him was biting.
I knew there was a slim chance he was upset by how I snuck out of his place the morning after our night together, but I doubted it.
Wasn’t that what a guy like him would want?
Sex without repercussion or awkward morning goodbyes.
Well, this was one hell of a repercussion, whether he wanted to believe me or not. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to ask if it was his. As if I was someone to go home with a different guy each week.
I sighed heavily and fell back into my pillow.
I had gone home with him, and I had let things go too far, too quickly.
Deliciously too far. It was so unlike me, but there was a pull toward him that I couldn’t deny.
Hell, I had been the one who practically begged him to take me on that bar counter.
My cheeks burned red as I remembered it.
How could I have been so irresponsible? I was on the pill, but I had definitely missed a day or two. It was hard to remember to take a tiny white pill when your sex life was nonexistent.
My phone buzzed and I quickly read the screen, hoping it was him calling back. It wasn’t.
Shelley: Hey. You okay? We missed you at this morning’s meeting.
Me: Yeah, just a little under the weather. Thanks for checking in.
Shelley: Feel better soon!
I locked my phone and tossed it on the bed next to me.
I had called out sick from work, which was a rarity, but when I saw the two lines on the pregnancy test, I practically felt sick.
I had run out to the store to grab two more boxes because I didn’t believe it.
It had to be faulty. Four tests later, and there were more lines and the word pregnant clear as day.
I looked over at my bathroom counter where they sat in a neat row.
They were practically screaming at me. I felt like I was going to throw up.
Was it too early for morning sickness? I threw the covers off and dry-heaved into the toilet.
Panic began to set in, pulsing through my body and making me feel flushed.
I tried to catch my breath, but felt like there was a limited supply.
I crawled back over to my bed, reaching for my phone. With my back against the mattress, I called Monica.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Monica.”
“Heart? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“Can you come over?”
“I’m on my way.”
Twenty minutes later, she was knocking on my door. I opened it and smiled weakly at her before bursting into tears.
She pulled me into a hug. “I’m here. I’m here.”
After a few minutes of crying in my doorway, she followed me to the couch. My panic became more of a dull pulse and I felt like I could breathe again.
Monica looked at me with concern on her face, her eyebrows drawn together.
“What’s going on, Heart?” she asked, reaching for my hand.
I took a deep breath.
“I’m pregnant,” I said, not being able to meet her eye.
“Oh my gosh, Heart,” she said in disbelief.
“I know.”
“Wait, whose is it?”
I had been keeping my night with Daniel a secret, and normally we didn’t keep secrets from each other, especially when it came to men.
Even though they were pretty rare in my life, I usually spilled everything to Monica over a few glasses of wine.
I had planned on telling her eventually.
I just wanted it to be my little secret a little longer. Time to give it up.
“Daniel’s,” I said.
Monica nearly choked. “Wait, what? Daniel. As in Daniel Jacobs?”
I finally met her eye and nodded.
“Holy shit, Heart. When did this happen?”
She seemed excited, like it was some sort of plot twist in one of her novels. It was the first time I felt like smiling all morning. I actually let out a soft laugh. “Whoa, calm down.”
“Sorry, sorry.” She put her hands up and took a deep breath.
“I kind of ran into him at a bar weeks ago. I think it’s been just over a month. I had a few expensive drinks and got carried away.”
“What woman wouldn’t?” Monica gave me a sly smile.
“Well, he invited me back to his place and one thing led to another…and another…”
“And another?” Monica raised her brow at me.
I couldn’t help but laugh before putting my face in my hands.
“This is crazy, Heart.”
“I know,” I groaned.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” She scooched closer and pulled my hands from my face.
“Is it? Because I just told him and it was awful.”
“Oh, my God. What did he say?”
“He asked if it was his.”
“Asshole!” Monica said loudly.
“I know, but he doesn’t know me. We hardly know each other. He probably just panicked.”
I was trying to see it more from his point of view.
“Well, screw him,” said Monica.
“I can’t do this alone…”
“You’re not alone.”
We spent the next few hours searching for doctor’s offices in Brooklyn and in the city.
Monica insisted we needed the best of the best, which was terrifying for my wallet, but I was happy to have someone who cared when I was too shocked to.
Thankfully, we found one in Manhattan that was highly rated and took my insurance.
It was too early to come in for an ultrasound, but we scheduled an appointment for two weeks from then.
It felt like an eternity to wait that long to receive hard proof that this thing was real.
Until then, I had to rely on the white plastic tests on my bathroom counter to tell me there was most likely a baby growing inside me.
The two weeks dragged on. I didn’t hear from Daniel again, and figured he was out of my life for good. The realization started to set in that I was doing this on my own. If I was to go through with it. I could barely afford to keep myself alive, let alone a child. The thought kept me up at night.
On the day of my appointment, I took a personal day at work and Monica met me at my apartment.
She rode the subway with me into Manhattan, babbling on about her newest plot for a book.
I was surprised she wasn’t taking this whole mess and turning it into a bestseller.
It had the surprise element. Maybe she could write the happy ending that I wouldn’t have.
We arrived at the doctor’s office with five minutes to spare.
The waiting room was bright white with white leather chairs.
It felt sterile and cold. I noticed women with growing bellies sitting with pearls around their necks and Louis Vuitton handbags at their feet, with their doting husbands in suits beside them.
They looked up curiously when Monica and I walked in wearing leggings and oversized t-shirts.
Even the front desk woman looked me up and down before greeting me with her best attempt to be friendly.
“Hello, may I help you?” she asked. Her smile was so ungenuine, she may as well not have even tried.
“Um, hi. Yes, I have an appointment at 9:30 for an ultrasound.”
“Name?”
“Oh right. Heartly. Addison Heartly.”
“And who is this?” She side-eyed Monica.
“Her best friend,” said Monica with authority, stepping up closer to the counter.
“Riiight. Okay, well, I have a few forms for you to fill out. You can just skip over the ‘father’ section, if you need to.”
That was a bold assumption, but I hated that I would have to prove her right.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“Highly rated, my ass,” said Monica as we sat down.
“We’re in the upper East Side. What did you expect?” I whispered as I jotted down my information.
We waited for fifteen minutes before a woman in scrubs poked her head out of a nearby door and called my name. I shakily stood from my chair and followed her through the door and down the hallway. We entered a small, white room that felt just as cold as the waiting room.
She handed me a pink hospital gown.
“Go ahead and put this on and make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”
She slipped out the door and I quickly undressed. I slid the pink gown over my head and sat back on the examination table. Monica pulled her chair up beside me. I looked over at the computer and video monitor. It all started to feel very real.
A knock sounded at the door and the woman stepped inside.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
I nodded. My throat felt dry.
The woman busied herself with typing my information in the computer and getting the white wand prepped with a clear jelly.
“Okay, it will feel cold at first and maybe a little uncomfortable. But since it’s early, we have to do it this way. Here on out, ultrasounds will be done externally.”
“Okay,” I said softly.
Monica reached for my hand and held it.
A few uncomfortable seconds later, the nurse pointed to the video monitor. She explained the different things we were seeing on the screen. I wondered where the baby was. Maybe the tests had been wrong. But then she stopped moving the wand and pointed at the screen.
“And there is your baby,” she said.
I felt my breath catch as I looked at the tiny blob on the screen.
“Oh, my gosh,” I whispered.
“I’ll snap a few pictures for your ultrasound now.”
I looked over at Monica and saw her eyes were watery as she watched the screen.
“And now, we can try to hear baby’s heartbeat. It’s not guaranteed this early…but oh, no. There it is.”
The sound of dull thumping filled my ears and I couldn’t help it, but I started crying. That was my baby. Every doubt I had before then was washed away like a crashing wave on the shore. Every piece of me was now that baby’s. I was all theirs.
“You can get cleaned up now. I’ll be back with your photos,” she commented before stepping out of the room.
I sat up and held my stomach, a dreamy smile across my lips.
“I’m going to be a mom,” I said softly.
“The best mom,” said Monica, standing and putting her hand over mine.
I was quiet for a moment.
“A single mom,” I said, reminding myself of my reality.
“Remember, you are not alone. Ever. I will be there every step of the way.”
I nodded to her gratefully before easing myself off the table and getting dressed.
The lady knocked and stepped back in the room.
“Here are your photos. Please stop by the front desk on your way out,” she said before disappearing down the hallway.
I looked down at the photos in awe. For being a blob, the baby was perfect in every way.
I handed Monica one of the copies. “Here.”
“Really?” she asked, her eyes watering again.
“Of course. You’re Auntie Monica now.”
She took the photo and burst into tears. As happy as I was she was here, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would have been like if Daniel had been with me.