Chapter 27
Addison
After our double date with Freddy and Virginia, Daniel didn’t ask me back to his place.
I tried not to feel disappointed, but I had hoped the night wouldn’t end right after dinner, which was delicious.
I had never felt so full. Steak, truffle garlic mashed potatoes, balsamic roasted Brussels sprouts, and crème br?lée. My bump grew three times its size.
I was nervous at first when Daniel sprung the double date on me, and then said he wanted to tell Freddy about the baby.
Now it wasn’t just a secret between Daniel and me.
And Monica. That was another surprise he sprung on me when he said he wanted to share the news.
It made it even more real knowing there were people in his bubble who knew we were going to parents.
Whether we were parents together, or parents who co-parented, it seemed like we were in this thing together.
Freddy was shocked by the news, which was understandable.
As excited and congratulatory as he seemed, I couldn’t help but wonder what he really thought about Daniel becoming a dad.
And with someone like me. I was sure he had his doubts.
I could tell by the face he gave Daniel at one point.
There was a flicker of doubt, and I hoped it didn’t plant anything in Daniel’s head.
But now, as we made our way back to Brooklyn, something seemed to have shifted between us.
The excitement he had was gone, and instead, he seemed ponderous as he looked out the window.
This was nothing like our drive home after the theater last weekend.
His hand didn’t find mine, his lips weren’t places that made me blush, and his eyes had barely looked at me since we left dinner.
“You okay?” I asked softly.
“Hmm?” he replied, tearing his gaze from the Brooklyn bridge we were crossing over. “Oh, I’m fine.”
He reached for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Dinner was fun. I really like your friends.”
“Yeah, it was a good time,” he said. “Sorry I couldn’t invite you back to my place tonight. It’s just this deal with London is taking everything out of me. I’ll probably have to wake up really early, and you need rest.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I wondered if I should believe him. It wasn’t like we got much sleep any other night we had spent together. It seemed like an excuse, but I didn’t know why. The night had started off so perfect.
“It’s okay,” I said, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.
The car pulled up outside of my apartment, and I looked disappointedly up at the brick building, knowing I would be entering it alone.
“Well, thank you for tonight,” I said.
“Thank you. ” Daniel leaned in and finally closed the distance he had kept between us the entire ride home, giving me a quick, gentle kiss on the lips. “I’ll see you soon.”
I really hoped he meant it.
Armand opened my door and I stepped out into the coolness of the evening. I gave Daniel a little wave before heading into my building.
The rest of the weekend, I didn’t hear from him.
I tried to convince myself he was just busy with business or catching up on sleep.
I spent Saturday and Sunday on the couch watching a marathon of movies and ordering in Thai food.
I was craving anything spicy, and made a mental note to ask my new doctor if it meant anything.
At dinner, Freddy had been able to get me in with a doctor he highly recommended, and she was in Brooklyn, which was convenient. My appointment was on Monday, and I was excited for another ultrasound because it meant I got to see the baby and hear its heartbeat again.
I thought about inviting Daniel with me, especially after he found out about my awful experience with the doctor in Manhattan. He seemed hurt that I hadn’t told him, or perhaps that I hadn’t invited him. I just didn’t know where we stood back then. I still didn’t know.
Which was why I invited Monica instead, who was more than eager.
I had taken the morning off work, and since she mostly wrote at night, she was able to come with.
We walked into the doctor’s office and were met with warm wood furniture and framed photos of babies and their moms on the walls.
There were toys for siblings to play with and parenting magazines scattered about.
It was a completely different vibe than the white-washed walls of the office in Manhattan.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I sat down in a cushy chair with my new patient clipboard.
“This place is way better,” said Monica, looking around.
“Thank God,” I said.
“How did you find it?”
“Oh, Daniel’s friend recommended it.”
“His friend knows?”
“Yeah,” I nodded as I began jotting down my info. “Daniel wanted to tell him.”
“Eeeeh!” said Monica, nudging me. “This is huge, Heart.”
“Mhmm,” I said warily.
“What’s wrong? Your dream guy is sharing the news he’s becoming a dad with you.”
I set the pen down and looked at her, my eyes watering.
“I don’t know, Monica. After dinner the other night, he just seemed to shut down. I don’t know what happened. I was actually going to invite him here today, but he was so distracted. So distant. I just don’t know…”
Monica put her arm around me as I fought back tears. I had never been this emotional in my life. Was it because of my feelings for Daniel or the hormones? Probably a mix of both.
“Hey now,” soothed Monica. “I’m sure it’s a lot for him too. Don’t count him out just yet.”
A nurse called my name from an open door. I quickly scribbled in the last information on my paperwork before handing it to her and following her back to the ultrasound room.
“We will do the ultrasound first, and then you will go to an exam room to meet your new doctor. You’re going to love her,” said the nurse with a warm smile.
I lay back on the exam table and lifted the flowy blouse I wore. The nurse applied some jelly to the wand and ran it over my stomach, which felt way less invasive than the first time. She found the baby quickly on the screen and I was surprised how much bigger it had gotten.
“Oh, my gosh,” I whispered.
“Is this your first?” asked the nurse.
I nodded.
“How exciting! There’s nothing like it,” said the nurse as she moved the wand around my stomach. “Everything looks on track. I’ll get those pictures printed right out for you.”
She cleaned my stomach with a paper towel and exited the room. Soon, she was back with a few ultrasound photos that she carefully handed to me. She led us back to an exam room, and a few minutes later, my new doctor entered the room.
With just a simple hello, my doubts diminished.
She was so friendly and witty, and there wasn’t an ounce of judgment as she met both me and Monica.
I asked her a few questions, which she answered patiently and informatively.
Soon, we were done with my appointment and walking out onto the sidewalk with pictures of my baby in hand.
I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Way better, huh?” I asked Monica.
“Night and day,” she replied, pulling me in for a hug.
“I kind of wish I had invited Daniel. Not that I didn’t love having you there…”
“I know, I know,” said Monica, waving me away. “I get it.”
I kicked at the sidewalk feeling defeated.
“Hey, why don’t you go visit him at work? Show him the baby. I’m sure he would love that,” suggested Monica.
“You think?” I asked.
“Go,” she said, giving me a little shove.
“Thank you,” I said as I walked the short distance to the subway.
The ride to Manhattan went quickly and my excitement bubbled inside of me, knowing I was going to see Daniel soon. I would rave about my new doctor and we would both probably ooh and ahh over the ultrasound photos, and I would realize how silly I had been.
Downstairs in the lobby, my excitement came to a halt when I was met with a front desk attendant who wasn’t allowing me to go upstairs without an appointment.
“If you just tell him it’s Addison. Er… Heart. He will tell you it’s fine,” I said.
“Which is it? Addison or Heart?”
“Heart,” I said.
She looked me up and down curiously before picking up the phone and punching in a few numbers. She turned her back to me so I couldn’t hear what she was saying. After a moment, she hung up the phone and turned her chair to face me.
“You may go up, Ms. Heartly. My apologies.”
I gave her a smile and a nod before walking toward the elevators. I watched as the floors ticked by, clutching my purse with the ultrasounds tucked inside. The doors opened and I stepped out into the lobby.
Margaret was there to greet me. “Hello, Ms. Heartly. Follow me.”
I followed her down the long hallway to Daniel’s office, still not over how big his floor was. She stopped outside his door and knocked softly.
“Come in,” I heard him say, a bit of gruffness to his voice.
I looked at Margaret unsure, but she opened the door and nodded for me to go inside. I stumbled into his office, the door closing behind me.
Daniel was hunched over his desk with a pile of paperwork surrounding him. His hands were in his hair as his eyes scanned the documents in front of him.
“Hi,” I said, hating how meek I sounded.
He looked up surprised, as if he hadn’t just given the front desk the okay to send me up.
“Heart. Hi,” he said, standing up. He strode toward me and gave me a kiss on the cheek before sitting back down at his desk.
“Sit,” he said, getting back to his papers.
I did as he said and pulled the ultrasound photos from my purse.
“Look what I have.” I placed the pictures on the papers in front of him.
“Oh, wow,” he breathed, his eyes barely grazing over the pictures.
I jerked my head back as I looked at him, my heart starting to break right there in his office. He couldn’t seem more uninterested.
“Yeah, I went to that new doctor Freddy recommended…” I started, trying again.
“Oh? How was it?” he asked. His eyes found mine for just a moment before going back to his papers. He pushed the ultrasound pictures gently aside to read one of the documents.
“It would have been better if you were there,” I said pointedly. My patience was growing thin, and my excitement in coming all the way over here had left the building completely.
“Well, you didn’t invite me,” he pointed out, looking at me and raising an eyebrow.
“And why do you think that is?” I asked, my voice raising.
“You tell me.”
“Maybe it’s because you don’t actually give a damn about the baby. Or me, for that matter.”
“That’s not true…” he started.
“Maybe you’re just trying to get on my good side, so I stay quiet. God forbid the press finds out that the Daniel Jacobs is going to be a father with some stupid girl from Brooklyn.”
“Heart…”
“Don’t,” I said, putting up my hand. “You don’t think I’ve noticed how you keep me hidden? We had to go out the back alley of the restaurant Friday night. I’m going to be an expert at fire exits by the end of this because you’re embarrassed to be seen with me.”
The words were rolling out of me, and there was no stopping them.
“I’m sorry that I’m not a supermodel. Or Kiera . I’m sorry that I’m not someone you’d proudly have on your arm.”
Daniel’s eyes watched me intently.
“And I’m sorry that I got pregnant,” I said, standing up and grabbing the ultrasounds from his desk.
“Heart…” he said, standing up, too.
“I think it’s best if you don’t call me. Don’t come by. I need some space.”
I walked swiftly to the door and slammed it behind me. Not caring what others thought, I raced through the lobby and it wasn’t until I was out of the elevator and out of the building that I finally let the tears flow.