Chapter 43
Addison
I applied a quick coat of lip-gloss and inspected myself in the floor-length mirror hanging in my closet.
I turned sideways and looked at my growing belly that was on full display in the black sheath dress I had tugged on.
Lovingly, I rubbed my stomach. Rather than being ashamed of it, I was proud. That was my baby.
I gave myself a quiet, feigned, confident nod of approval and walked to the kitchen where a pot of decaf coffee waited. I needed it. Even though there was no caffeine, I swore that it tricked my mind into thinking it was giving me the energy I needed after my sleepless night.
I couldn’t get comfortable lately. I was used to sleeping on my back or my stomach.
My comfort positions, but those weren’t an option anymore.
I tried using one of the large pregnancy pillows Daniel had gifted me.
It helped a little, but mostly because it felt like someone was in bed next to me and I didn’t feel so alone.
But then I would wake up and realize I was holding something that resembled a stuffed pool noodle rather than a human being.
Rather than Daniel. He was the first man I had woken up to in a very long time.
Really, the first man I had been with in a while.
I missed that morning we had together when he stayed the night here in my little loft apartment.
Even though I had washed the sheets several times since then, I could still smell his cologne on them.
Maybe it was just my imagination. A cruel little memory my heart wouldn’t let go of.
Since reading the tabloids a few nights ago, my pain was still raw.
The pictures of him on a tropical vacation with his soon-to-be-fiancée were imprinted in my memory.
Since then, I had tried avoiding the newsstands and the corner store.
I didn’t want to see any other pictures or read any updates on him or his relationship.
I couldn’t believe he had moved on so quickly.
But I didn’t have any right to be upset.
I had pushed him out of my life. I had told him I never wanted to see him again.
And really, how serious were we? We had only known each other for a few months, and really, the only thing that tied us together was the baby.
At first, it had just been a one-night stand. I thought I would never see him again, but life had other plans. If I had never gotten pregnant, I wouldn’t have called him or invited him back into my life. He would have just been some hot billionaire guy I once slept with.
Except, he wasn’t just that.
He was so much more, and that was why it was so hard to let go.
I took a sip from my I heart New York mug and glanced around my loft.
It was cramped in here, but it was ready to welcome the baby whenever he or she came.
At least that was one part of my life that was sorted out.
Sure, everything was a constant reminder of Daniel, but it was also a reminder of how I was about to become a mother. I was both terrified and elated.
Monica and I had spent all weekend unpacking and assembling furniture, including a cream glider that we put near the window where the morning sun hit just right. I imagined sitting there in the early mornings and nursing the baby. I smiled at the thought.
My phone rang on the counter next to me. I picked it up and saw Monica’s name on the screen.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Happy last day of work!” she exclaimed.
“Is it really something to celebrate?” I groaned.
“Yes! Because the way your boss handled everything is bullshit and you deserve better.”
“True, but after today, I’m jobless.”
“Well, I have some good news…”
“What is it?” I asked, my ears perking up.
“I found someone who will give you some freelance work in the meantime. At least until you find a job.”
“Are you serious?” I asked in surprise.
“Now, it doesn’t pay much, but it’s something. And you get to work from home. No more commuting to the city.”
“What would I be doing?”
“You’d be writing articles on nonprofit work.”
“I’m not a writer, though. I’m not you.”
“You don’t have to be! It’s not like you’re writing a novel or something. You’re just writing short articles about something you already know.”
“You really think I can do it?” I asked hesitantly.
“Of course! Why do you think I put you up for it?”
“Wow,” I said softly. “Thank you, Monica. Really, you’ve done so much for me.”
“That’s what best friends are for. I know you’d do the same.”
“I would.”
“Look, I gotta get to the coffee shop to meet my editor. I’ll send you the contact information so you can touch base and get started on your new gig.”
“Okay, thank you!”
“Ta-ta!”
I hung up and felt an overwhelming sense of relief wash over me.
I might be losing my job today, the only real place I had ever worked, but at least I had something lined up.
While I was terrified and not completely sure I knew what I was doing, it was something.
And I got to work from home, which meant less stress on me and the baby.
It seemed like everything was working out.
Hurriedly, I finished my coffee and grabbed my purse, heading out the door.
As I walked down the stairs to the subway, I thought about how I wouldn’t have to do this anymore.
I smiled to myself as I waited for the train to come through.
Here I was, thinking today was going to be absolutely awful, and things were looking up.
Now, I just had to actually get through the workday.
I walked into my building and rode the elevator up to my floor. When the doors opened, it seemed like a hushed silence washed over the room. A few people gave awkward waves, and the rest pretended to be busy at their desks. I noticed Brian leaning against the doorframe as if he was waiting for me.
“Addison, will you come in here?”
I nodded, a bad feeling coming over me.
I followed him into his office.
“Take a seat.”
I did.
“Clearly, there’s no hiding that anymore,” he said, eyeing my bump. “People have been talking.”
“Oh?” I asked.
“Have you told anyone about your situation with Mr. Jacobs?”
“No. No one.”
“Well, I guess they’re just speculating then. Rumors have been wafting around since people found out you lost your position here.”
Honestly, I didn’t care. What did it matter? I was gone after today.
“Okay?” I said, more as a question than a statement.
“It’s just messy, Addison. You see that, don’t you? If word gets out…”
“I no longer work here after today.” I shrugged.
I didn’t know what else he wanted from me. It wasn’t like I could go back in time and change anything, and even if I could, I no longer wanted to. I was going to be a mother, whether anyone else liked it or not.
“Yes, well, now that has even raised some eyebrows as to why you’re being let go.”
“Look, Brian. I don’t know what you want me to do…”
“Well, I want you to think about the mess you’re leaving me with.” He sighed dramatically.
“You fired me,” I snapped.
“Because you decided to sleep with someone for money.”
I felt my face burn.
“How dare you!” I stood up suddenly.
“Don’t make a scene, Addison,” he warned, his voice low as he looked toward the door.
“You know me. I’ve worked my ass off for years, and this is how you treat me? That’s what you accuse me of? You know me, Brian. I would never.”
“Calm down. I didn’t mean it. I’m just…worked up,” he said.
“No, I won’t calm down. I don’t appreciate you accusing me of a behavior that is so far from what I’m capable of. How dare you.”
“People are starting to stare,” said Brian, looking behind me and through the windows of his office.
“Let them. Let them see the giant mistake you’re making in letting me go. I have brought in more money than any of my coworkers. I have always done what you’ve asked of me, and then some. You won’t find a replacement who even holds a candle to me.”
Brian put up his hands as if to calm me down, but I wasn’t having it.
It was as if everything I had been holding in for years suddenly gushed out of me and it felt so damn good.
It was all true. I had poured everything into this job, and had hardly ever received the recognition I deserved.
It wasn’t until I landed the deal with Daniel that people started to take notice, but before that I had been busting my ass here.
I never so much as got a thank you or a raise, until a few weeks ago.
“I know I’m supposed to finish out the workday, but I don’t think I can spend another minute in this office with someone who casts judgment on something they know nothing about. Goodbye, Brian.”
I opened his office door and slammed it behind me, not caring that the entire office was staring with open mouths.
I held my head high as I walked down the hallway and began packing my things.
Quickly, I put my personal belongings in a cardboard box and said a quiet goodbye to my office before closing the door behind me.
Upset, I balanced the box in my hands as I walked through the floor to the elevators.
I pressed the button and waited impatiently, ignoring the murmurs behind me.
Finally, the doors opened and I stepped inside, pressing the button for the ground floor and not looking up.
I wasn’t going to look back. I was only looking forward now.
I carried the box down the stairs of the subway and waited for the next train back to Brooklyn, where I would happily stay. For now.
Back at my apartment, I set down the box that held so many memories from the past several years. Rather than feeling angry, I felt proud. I had accomplished so much, and while things ended messily, I knew I had done a lot of good for people around the world. That was what made this all worth it.
I suddenly felt empowered. I dug out my phone from my purse and scrolled through my contacts until I found the number I was looking for. I pressed send.
“Hello?” I heard my mother answer.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Addison? I didn’t think I would be hearing from you again,” she said coolly.
“And you won’t again. Not after this.”
“Oh?” she asked coolly.
“Yeah, I wanted to tell you that I don’t need you. I don’t need one thing from you. Not money. Not love. Not approval.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m going to be just fine on my own.”
“I very much doubt that,” she muttered.
“Doubt all you want. You see, I don’t care anymore. I don’t need you to believe in me because I believe in me. I’m going to be a great mother to my baby. And he or she will grow up knowing they are loved and supported in whatever they choose to do. They’ll always be more than enough for me.”
“Addison…”
“Goodbye, Mother.”
I hit the red button and set my phone on the counter. I noticed my hands shook as I took a deep breath. It felt good to get that off my chest, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of sadness that was creeping in.
That was enough goodbyes for one day.