Chapter 47
Addison
“Baby looks really healthy. He or she is growing at a normal rate,” said the tech as she glided the wand over my belly, the jelly cool against my skin.
I smiled as I looked at the baby on the screen. The nurse said it was safe for me to look given the position of the baby. Since I had decided not to find out the sex of the baby, the ultrasounds would become trickier. Today though, I was happy I got to see the baby.
I didn’t know what made me want to wait to find out.
I knew Monica was so eager to know if it was going to be a girl or a boy.
She was practically internally combusting with each appointment that passed and me still choosing not to find out.
I just felt like the moment the doctor tells me if it’s a boy or a girl will be something I treasure for always.
As I looked at the video on the monitor, the moving picture on the screen actually looked like a baby.
I could see the nose and the lips and fingers and toes.
It was so surreal. Every time I cried, but today I really cried.
I had a little human who was growing and growing by the day and would soon be earthside.
“Wow,” I whispered through tears.
“It’s pretty surreal, isn’t it?” The tech placed her hand on my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze.
“Very.”
“I’m going to take a few photos and get those printed out for you, okay?”
I nodded and she began typing on the monitor and positioning the wand for clear photos. Soon, I had a new set of ultrasounds in my hands. I couldn’t wait to hang them on the fridge and compare them to the last ones.
“Let’s get you all cleaned up and then the doctor will see you.” She reached for a paper towel and handed it to me before excusing herself from the room.
I wiped the clear jelly from my stomach and quickly got dressed. This was my first appointment alone. Monica usually came with me to all of them, but she had another meeting with her editor she couldn’t miss. I didn’t mind, of course. She had already done so much for me.
I heard a knock at the door.
“Come in,” I said.
The nurse peeped her head in. “The doctor is ready for you.”
I followed her down the hallway to an exam room and hoisted myself onto the exam table. A few moments later, the doctor came in.
“Ms. Heartly. It’s great to see you again.” She smiled warmly before looking down at her papers.
“Good to see you too, Dr. Halquist.”
“How is everything going? How are you feeling?”
“A little restless at night, but I just try to go to bed early to make up for the lack of sleep. Or I take naps during the day.”
“Ahh, you have a little night owl in there, don’t you?”
“More like a kangaroo.”
The doctor laughed. “Well, it looks like baby is doing just fine in there. How are your stress levels?”
“Better. I’m working from home and it’s a less demanding job.”
“Good. After the scare you had last month, I want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.”
“I am,” I assured her.
“Well, I’m going to have you lie back and I’ll give baby’s heart a listen and do some measurements of your belly.”
I nodded as I lay back on the table.
Dr. Halquist took the doppler and held it against my stomach, moving it until she located the baby’s heartbeat. We listened together for a quiet moment before she gave a nod of approval.
“Sounds great in there. Now, let’s measure you.”
She walked her fingers up the sides of my stomach, causing me to squirm slightly.
“Sorry, I know it tickles,” she said.
She then walked her fingers up to the top of my abdomen and pressed gently.
“Baby is measuring right on track,” she said, jotting a few notes on her clipboard.
“Thank you, doctor.”
“Do you have any questions for me?”
“No, not today.”
“Well, then head to the front and we’ll get you checked out, okay?”
“Thank you.”
I watched her slip out of the room. I felt so grateful to have her as my doctor and the nurses on staff here.
It was night and day from that nightmare of an office in Manhattan.
That seemed so long ago. I was thankful Freddy had recommended someone else.
Someone I felt like I could trust and not feel judged by.
I lifted myself from the exam table and walked out into the hallway.
At the front desk, I let them know that I would have a change of insurance soon.
I was dreading the day when I would have to pay out of pocket for these appointments.
I needed to find a new insurance company quickly, as I only had until the end of the month with my benefits from my old job.
I thanked the girl at the front desk and walked out of the office, staring at the new ultrasounds in my hands. As I smiled down at them I walked directly into someone, and the photos floated to the ground.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, kneeling down to pick up the photos.
“Heart?”
My heart leaped to my throat as I quickly looked up to see Daniel towering over me.
“Daniel,” I said softly, not really believing what I was seeing.
He stood there with a dumbfounded look on his stupidly handsome face. The same face I had imagined for so many nights over the past month, trying to hold onto every detail. Every little expression that I considered was just for me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, looking around.
“I’m here to meet Freddy for lunch,” he said.
Of course. I should have known there was a chance I would run into him here one day. Freddy worked in the same office, and while I hadn’t seen him, I felt foolish for thinking I could avoid him or his best friend forever.
Daniel kneeled down to help me, reaching for the photos.
“What are you doing—” he started to ask.
He paused as he looked at the ultrasounds scattered on the floor. His eyes floated up to my round belly. I sucked in a breath as I watched him process what he was seeing. The lie that was crumbling between us.
“Wait… are you…” His brows furrowed as he looked down at the ultrasound in his hand. He ran his hand over the image of the baby. It was such a tender motion. My heart felt like it might break in two.
I quickly snatched it back and struggled as I tried to stand up.
He stood up swiftly and held out his hand.
I reluctantly took it before he pulled me to my feet.
The same electric feeling I always felt passed through my whole body.
Once I was steady, I pulled my hand from his and looked down at the floor.
I had been caught in a lie. A lie that was so big and so painful that I didn’t know what to do in this moment.
I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, even though the only thing I had wanted was to see him over the past month.
I had missed him so much and now he was here in front of me, but this was far from a happy reunion.
“Heart… you’re still pregnant,” he murmured, looking at me intently.
“Yeah, I am.”
“But you said…”
“I lied, okay?”
He looked taken aback and I saw a flash of pain in his eyes. Pain I had caused.
“But why?”
“Because I just wanted you to go away,” I blurted out.
He remained silent.
“It was the only way for you to move on with your life. I know you never wanted this.” I rubbed my belly.
“You don’t know what I want,” he said sharply. “Do you even know what I’ve been going through? Ever since you told me the baby was gone…”
I kicked at the ground. I knew it was a horrible thing that I had done, but I never knew the full damage it might have caused. Until now.
“I’ve been tearing myself apart, thinking of all the things I should have done and the pain you went through. Heart, I’ve been a wreck. And here you are…”
“You and I were never going to work. You know that.”
“Do I?” he asked.
I looked away. “Don’t do that. Don’t act like we were going to be some happy little family.”
“I wanted that, Heart. I told you I did. I told you I was in this. For you. For the baby.”
His words were everything I wanted to hear, but then I thought of what he had said at the charity event. And about the tabloids with Kiera. I couldn’t let myself fall for it, even though I so badly wanted to.
“Look… this ”—I rubbed my bump—“doesn’t change anything.”
“What are you talking about? This changes everything.”
“I can do this on my own, Daniel.”
“But I don’t want you to.” He looked at me sympathetically.
“It’s not really up to you.”
“I’m the father. Of course, it’s up to me.”
“Oh, now you want to be a father?” I snapped.
He closed his eyes and looked pained, but only for a moment. He then released a slow breath through his nose before looking at me. His blue eyes piercing.
“I’ll admit I was shocked at first. There were things I didn’t handle well.
I’m so sorry for everything, Heart. But you have to understand that what you overheard was a lie, and one I regret every day.
No business deal is worth lying about who I am, or hurting you in the process. You have to believe me.”
His voice was pleading as his eyes searched mine. It was so hard not to get lost in him. The little spray of wrinkles around his eyes. The iciness of his gaze. The slight stubble along his sharp jawline. The way he looked at me like that. It was all too much.
“And so what if I did believe you?” I asked. “What about your new fiancée? I don’t think she would be happy to know that her soon-to-be husband has a baby on the way.”
He sighed. “She’s not my fiancée.”
“Really? Because you looked awfully cozy on the beach.”
“It’s not what it looked like.”
I laughed sarcastically. “Please, explain how you ended up at the same resort halfway around the world at the same time.”
“It’s a long story…”
“ Of course it is.” I rolled my eyes. “You know, you seem to have an excuse for every little thing, Daniel. I’m surprised you haven’t used them all up yet.”
“I know I’ve lost your trust, but if you would just hear me out—”
“I’m good. Really. I’ve heard and seen enough.”
I slipped the ultrasound photos in my purse and walked toward the door.
I heard his footsteps behind me. His hand slipped around my arm gently, pulling me to a stop.
I whipped my head around and he lowered his forehead to mine.
For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me, and wondered if I had enough strength to stop him.
“Please, don’t do this again. Please, Heart,” he begged.
“It’s for the best. Now you can live the life you wanted before you met me,” I whispered.
I pulled away from his grasp and pushed open the doors, sucking in a deep breath outside in the sunshine. How many times would I have to say goodbye to this man? And how did it hurt more and more every single time?
I hailed a cab and quickly clambered inside as Daniel ran after me. I sat there stoically as the car pulled away from the curb, leaving him behind.