Chapter 50
Daniel
“How does it feel to be an old man?” asked Brody as we strode down the sidewalk to our usual coffee spot.
The air was crisp and the leaves were starting to change to shades of burnt orange and warm brown. It was just another reminder of how much time had passed. Another reminder that the baby was growing and readying itself to enter the world, and I would have no part in it. It was shattering.
“Hello? Earth to Daniel,” said Brody, trying again.
“Sorry. Uh, it feels good.” It came out more as a question.
“Oh, come on. You’ve gotta do better than that.”
“What do you want from me, Brody?” I snapped harsher than I intended to.
He put his hands up defensively, as if to ease me before looking ahead. We still had another block to go and on every corner I tried not to look for Heart. Every long-haired brunette made my head turn, until I realized they were missing her round stomach.
How many kicks had I missed? How many sleepless nights had I failed to soothe Heart back to sleep? How many doctor appointments did she have to go to alone? Had she found out if it was a boy or a girl? So many questions that I felt I would never have answered.
Time was passing too quickly and my birthday was just another cruel reminder of that.
“Sorry,” I muttered. “Thirty-four just feels…”
“Old.” Brody smirked.
“You’re a real ass.” I shook my head, as I finally gave him the laugh he was chiding me for.
He smiled as he pulled open the door to the coffee shop.
The warm air and smell of freshly roasted coffee beans wafted through the doorway, welcoming us in.
The tables were crammed with people. Men on their laptops.
Women on their phones. Typical Manhattan.
We stood in the short line and ordered two Americanos to go.
“It’s his birthday,” said Brody to the barista, nudging me.
I rolled my eyes.
“Well, happy birthday,” she said with a warm smile. “This one is on the house.”
“Thank you,” I said as I watched her write our names on our cups, adding a few birthday doodles to mine.
I left a twenty in the tip jar and followed Brody to the end of the counter to wait for our drinks. It was early. We still had about thirty minutes before we needed to start the workday at the office. It was Brody’s idea to go for coffee beforehand.
“So,” he said, eyeing me cautiously as we waited.
“What?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
I knew that look. That tone. He wanted something, but was afraid to say what.
“Since it’s your birthday…Freddy and I…”
“Nope.” I shook my head.
“You didn’t even let me finish.”
“I don’t need to. I have plans tonight. My couch. Pizza. Beer. The last thing I want to do is go out and party with you two.”
Brody groaned. “Come on, man. You never go out anymore. You’re so mopey. In fact, Freddy and I call you that. You’re like the eighth fucking dwarf, except instead of being holed up in a cottage with a hot chick, you’re holed up in your penthouse.”
“I like it.” I shrugged.
The barista called my name and slid our drinks across the counter. Brody grabbed his and I wrapped my hand around the paper cup covered in balloons and confetti. A slightly embarrassing display that I was one year older.
Birthdays never bothered me before. I enjoyed the parties.
The attention. Every year seemed to get better and better.
I felt like I had my life figured out. I could have retired five years ago.
Hell, maybe even ten. To everyone else, I’m sure I looked like I had it made. I thought so too at one point.
But then I met Heart and everything got flipped on its head.
I had a taste of what a real relationship was like. I saw a glimpse of what my future could possibly look like as a father. While it had scared me shitless at first, now it was all I could think about. Now my life didn’t seem so full.
“What if we just keep it low key?” asked Brody, taking a sip of his coffee.
He wasn’t letting up. Knowing him, he already had the night booked and planned. This coffee date was just his way of trying to get me to go. Freddy probably put him up to it.
I looked up at the ceiling, exasperated. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Fine. Low key. Just the boys. Whatever you probably already have planned, cancel it. I don’t need strippers popping out of cakes or bottle service girls coming home with us.”
“Aww. But it was so fun last year,” he chided.
I shot him a look. “Fine.” He rolled his eyes and headed toward the door as I trailed behind him, feeling annoyed.
The workday was filled with mostly meetings and going over the final designs for the launch of our product with London.
It wouldn’t be out until next year, but we had to finalize the colors and fonts for our newest AI software.
The tech magazines were already talking about it, since we purposefully leaked bits of information.
Our plan worked, and the hype was already building around it.
It was the most anticipated release in the tech world.
After the final meeting of the day, I sat back in my chair and sighed triumphantly. We had finally nailed down the final look of everything, and come to a solid agreement with our associates in the UK. Not an easy feat when there was an ocean and a drastic time change between us.
Brody rolled in a bar cart with a bottle of champagne on ice and two glasses.
“What’s this?” I asked, leaning back in the chair of the conference room and eyeing him curiously.
“Just a little celebration.”
He popped the cork from the champagne, the sound echoing through the empty room. He was careful not to let it spill on the floor or the conference room table as he poured two generous glasses before handing me one.
He raised his glass.
“To London. Our biggest launch ever. And to you, brother. One of the youngest billionaires in the country, even with it being your birthday.”
He really was trying. I couldn’t fault him for that.
“Thank you, bro,” I said, raising my glass to his. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
We both downed the champagne and I looked around the large conference room where we had just led a meeting with about twenty people. I never thought my life would be where it is now. I should have been proud. I was, but the nagging hole in my heart felt like it was pulsing.
“Let’s cut out of here early. The night awaits,” said Brody with a sly smile.
“Low key,” I reminded him.
“I know, I know.” He waved me away.
We had another glass of champagne before leaving it with Margaret at the front desk. She looked at us like we were crazy.
“Work is done for the day,” I said, handing her a glass.
She took it carefully from my hands, looking from me to Brody as if we were playing some sort of trick on her.
“Birthday boy’s orders,” said Brody, pointing a playful finger at her.
When we got downstairs, Freddy was waiting outside a limo.
Low key my ass, I thought.
“Happy birthday, Daniel!” he said loudly, patting me on the back and ushering me inside the limo.
There was another bottle of champagne waiting and thankfully no women in sight. I settled into the seat as Freddy and Daniel clambered in. As the limo pulled away from the curb, Freddy popped open the bottle. It was even more expensive than the last.
“Where are we going?” I asked hesitantly, taking a full glass from him.
“Nobu to start.”
“And then?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Calm down,” said Freddy innocently. “It’s chill. Just us boys.”
I nodded and took a sip of champagne.
Freddy wasn’t lying. We did go to Nobu and had a private room just for us.
We ordered a round of sake and practically everything on the menu.
When I didn’t think I could eat any more, the server arrived with a small cake with a sparkler candle lit, emitting sparks as she brought it over.
Freddy and Brody both sang the birthday song, horribly might I add, and for the first time in many birthdays, I actually made a wish.
After I blew out the candle, Freddy asked, “What did you wish for?”
I gave him the best smile I could muster up and lied about making any wish at all.
After Freddy paid the bill, we got back in the limo. I would have been perfectly content with going home then, but Freddy and Brody had other plans. On the drive, I expected the limo to pull up outside a club, but instead it pulled up outside a pool hall. I looked from Freddy to Brody shocked.
“What?” Brody shrugged, knowing full well I was impressed.
“Thank you,” I said.
We headed inside and found a seat at the bar. It was dimly lit and not too crowded. Just the kind of low key thing I wanted.
Freddy ordered a round of beers and Brody found a nearby open table for us to play. I grabbed two pool sticks and began chalking them.
“Cut throat?” I asked, handing them their sticks.
“You’re on,” said Freddy.
After we played a few rounds, I leaned against the table and took a long sip of beer. I could feel Freddy and Brody’s eyes on me, as if they had something to say.
“Out with it,” I said, putting my beer down on the edge of the table.
They look startled, like they had been caught.
“We’re just worried about you,” said Brody with a shrug.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“Are you?” asked Freddy.
I thought for a moment before letting out a sigh. I had been shutting them out for months, and where had that got me? Being alone with my thoughts wasn’t getting me anywhere. In fact, it was driving me crazy.
“I never thought I would say this,” I started. “But I really want to be a dad.”
Brody looked at me wide-eyed and took a long sip of beer.
“I know. Weird, right?” I said.
“Nah,” offered Freddy.
“I had never really thought about it, but then once there was a possibility and that possibility was ripped away from me, it’s all I can think about,” I said, grabbing the eight ball and rolling it across the table mindlessly.
“Well, you still have time,” offered Freddy. “It will happen one day when you meet the right one.”
“I already did,” I said softly.
“Right…” Brody’s voice trailed off as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.
We didn’t talk about this kind of stuff. Not because we didn’t want to, it’s just neither of us had been in any sort of relationship in a long time. Not one that was serious enough to have parenthood on the table.
“What are you going to do about it?” asked Freddy, raising an eyebrow.
I looked at him curiously.
“She’s still pregnant with your baby. You’re obviously crazy about her. Maybe you can have it all.”
“I want to…” I admitted. “I just don’t even know where to start.”
“Well, let’s get another round of beers and we can come up with something,” said Brody, slapping me on the back.
I laughed as I followed him to the bar. I really should give my friend and my brother more credit. For the first time in a while, I felt hopeful. Like maybe my birthday wish might come true.