Chapter Fourteen
Neith
I don’t even bother wrapping my hands. I need the bite of pain right now to keep me grounded and stop me from flying off into the panic attack that I can already feel building. It has been a very long time since I had one, I am now able to go into situations that would have caused a panic attack before without it causing any issues for me, and I worked really fucking hard to ensure that I wasn’t at a disadvantage just because of my past.
But the last few days have been intense as fuck. I have found out my whole life has been a lie, and I don’t even know the extent of what that means, I have died twice, nearly died again twice, I have been transported to a different mother fucking realm, and once again fought my life. I can do things I shouldn’t be able to do, I have a magic fucking sword, and I have had to reveal more about my past in the last few days than I have revealed to anyone ever. At this point, after everything that I have been through, these fucking trials, whatever they are, will be a fucking breeze.
I have had to talk about Dimitri, and that means I’ve to think about that past.
The past is not a good place to dwell, nothing good comes from doing so.
I know that and yet I have been thinking backward more than I care to admit. It has made me vulnerable, and it means that I have triggered, or almost triggered, a panic attack.
These thoughts circle around my brain as I continue to beat the shit out of the bag in front of me. The voices joining in and creating a cacophony that I try to drown out. My world narrows so that all I am aware of is the music blaring in my ears and the rhythmic pounding of my fists on the bag. I am aware that my knuckles have split, and I am also aware that I am quickly becoming a sweaty mess, although I am grateful that I am in leggings and a shirt instead of jeans. I hope River will let me pinch one of his shirts again. I like sleeping in them, and this one is gross now. If I wash it, then it’s not going to smell like him, and that’s the main appeal for me.
Oh, maybe I can get a collection going and steal one from each of them. That would be really fucking cool and has now become my new mission.
My turmoil has obviously calmed somewhat if I am thinking about stealing some of the guy’s clothes.
The fear and anger that the thought of being forced into a situation that I can’t control triggered slowly subsides, and I see the situation for what it is. I am still really fucking pissed that if the situation does arise, I have to take part, but the optimal word in that sentence is ‘if’. There is a chance that it may not happen. It’s a supernatural event, and there really isn’t anything I can do about it. I like the sound of the perks though and I really like the thought of knowing one hundred percent that I belong with the guys on this team, and that if the scroll says that there is fuck all that anyone can do about it.
I stop, my breaths coming fast, and my body slick with sweat. For a moment, I just stare at the bag and wince. It’s smeared with blood and looks pretty macabre. For fuck sake, I need to find something to clean this off, I really have to stop ruining the guy's shit. First, the wall, and now this. Turning around and hoping that I can find something down here to clean it, I freeze when I see all of the guys still in the gym and just watching me, all of them looking really concerned. I pull River’s headphones off my ears, and I am immediately surrounded by the silence and missing the thrumming beat of the music.
My smile is decidedly sheepish when I say, “I am really sorry about the state of the bag; I will clean it if someone can point me in the direction of the cleaning supplies?”
“I don’t give a shit about that,” Raiden starts, moving closer, “are you okay?”
They immediately surround me, and although I like it, my first thought is that I must really fucking stink, thanks to my impromptu workout, but none of them seem to mind at all, so I move on to more important matters.
“I’m okay now. I just had to work through some stuff,” I explain. I struggle to find the words to say what I want to. I don’t want them to think I usually react like this, “I’m not normally so quick to fight it out. Some things I have a harder time with than others, and being forced or trapped into a situation is still something that I have a strong reaction to.”
Evander’s eyebrows climb even higher on his forehead before he catches on to the hidden meaning in my words, and they dip into a frown.
Before any of them can question me on it though, Doc steps forward and holds out his hands, “Can I heal your hands please?”
I pause for a second, only because it hadn’t even occurred to me that he could do that for me even though he has healed me several times now. Also, they don’t hurt enough for me to need them healed, and I am about to tell him that when I catch sight of his expression, I think he needs to heal my hands more than I need them healed.
I gently place my hands in his, grimacing slightly when I realize how bad they are, whoops. I probably should have felt that, and it definitely explains why they are all looking at me so concerned. Well, that and the fact that I just lost my shit on a punching bag.
“Yes, please,” I reply to him with another slightly sheepish smile.
Doc returns it and within moments I feel a wash of magic go over me and I wriggle my fingers as the pain that I hadn’t even realized that I was feeling subsides, and then disappears completely.
“Better?” Doc asks, his thumbs rubbing the backs of my hands soothingly.
My hands look absolutely tiny in his tattooed ones, and I find that undeniably attractive. I gently pull them away, wriggling my fingers out of his grip this time.
Nodding, I reply, “Yes, thank you. Much better.”
He smiles, “Wrap your hands next time.”
I smirk and answer without actually agreeing, “I will always have the best intention to wrap my hands before I beat the shit out of a punching bag.”
The guys all know what I have done by answering Doc that way, and they either grin or chuckle.
Doc’s eyes sparkle as he replies, “Clever Neith, very clever.”
I just shrug, I am not going to answer how he is hoping that I will. Nine times out of ten, I will wrap my hands before I fight the punching bag, although when I do wrap my hands before I use the punching bag, I’m working out, I’m not freaking out, and if I’m freaking out, there is no way that I’m going to be able to make myself stop and wrap my hands first. I think he understands that though, because he doesn’t push it anymore and drops the subject.
“I’m sorry that we sort of sprung that on you, Nene,” Evander says, wincing, “I just figured that you would rather know in advance than have it sprung on you out of the blue and not have enough time to get used to it.”
I nod, “Yeah, you were right. I have time to get used to the possibility of it happening now. Besides, it is only a possibility, and there is no point worrying too much about something that may not happen.”
“I would react the same,” River replies honestly, making me feel a bit better about my reaction.
“I think you may find that in the unlikely event that the event is triggered, then the majority of us are not going to have very good reactions,” Ransom adds, his arms crossed over his chest. “The only thing that would make it slightly okay is that as one of the teams that want you, we would be there with you.”
“For all of it?” I ask. I need as much information as I can get about this thing that could threaten my life next. Even if it doesn’t happen, it still seems like the smart thing to do in this situation.
Ransom shakes his head, but Griff is the one who answers, “No, we would all be staying in the same building, it is this massive castle in one of the pocket realms, that they use specifically for this. Some of the tasks that you do, you would do with us, some of them you would do with the other teams or team, and some you would do by yourself.”
I nod, “Okay, so at least I wouldn’t be completely cut off from you guys then. What about the sleeping situation while we are at the castle? I wouldn’t have to share space with the other teams, right?”
In the grand scheme of things, that probably doesn’t seem like the biggest thing to be concerned about right now, but it is something that I need to clear up as soon as possible. I do not do well-sharing space, especially sleeping space, with others.
Apart from the guys apparently, but then for some inexplicable reason I have felt safe with them from the moment that I met them, obviously I have always felt safe with Evander, but the others too.
Doc shakes his head, his eyes flash with questions, but once again he doesn’t ask them and simply answers my question instead, “You will have your own rooms. There is quite a lot involved, and some things are still done in accordance with the old ways of Trieneliea, so it doesn’t make sense for this world.”
Raiden nods, “I think that is why it’s not being used that often anymore. It wasn’t meant for the Earth realm and the supernatural police force. It was meant for the elite warrior teams that would be the first line of defense against the threats to the realms.”
“Elite warrior teams?” I ask, aware that we have gone off track but incredibly curious.
Raiden nods, “Yeah, not everyone was even strong enough to be put in the teams. Not the destined ones like these are. It’s what everyone worked towards, to be chosen for an elite team, but not everyone was good enough.”
I frown, “I get why that was needed for Trieneliea. Honestly, that makes a lot of sense, but why was it brought over here? The SID teams are dealing with shit, but nothing that is on the same scale as I imagine happens in entire realms. How many teams have been chosen this way over here? How many teams are technically Elite teams?”
The others all look to Raiden, and it becomes even more obvious that he is the one who does the research and has the most knowledge about things like this as he answers my questions, “I think at first it was a tradition that we tried to hold onto. You have to remember that supes live for a very long time, the majority of supes that are alive today came from Trieneliea, and the war is still extremely fresh in their minds.”
I look around at them, “Wait, are any of you from Trieneliea?”
they all shake their heads, and Doc replies, “No, we were born here and met in the magical academy. My older brother is from there though, most of my family were born there.”
“Same,” Raiden replies simply, not giving any more information away. I’m starting to think that his family is a complicated subject.
“I have family that didn’t escape when they could,” Reed replies, and I look at him shocked, he adds, “my aunt and uncle didn’t make it to the gates in time.”
“Wow,” I reply, “I’m sorry.”
Reed nods but doesn’t say anything else. I want to ask questions, lots of questions but I know that now isn’t the time, and I make a mental note to ask Raiden more about it when we do that research, and he finally shows me the library.
“Mom and Dad were there,” Evander says.
I frown, “Really? How come I didn’t know that?”
Van shrugs, “They don’t like talking about it. They have only really mentioned it once, and it was new years, so they had both had a few drinks at the time. The subject was very quickly changed, and when I asked about it the next day, they just ignored me.”
“Oh,” I reply since I don’t really know what else to say.
“My Parents and my older siblings were all born there. I’m the youngest so I am the only one that was born over here. There are some family members that refused to cross over, they remained in Trieneliea, and we have no idea what happened to them,” River replies to my questioning look.
I frown, “To me it seems very much in the past but even then, it was only really ten years or so before I was born. To supernaturals that live for hundreds of years it must feel like it was only a couple of years ago. It must still be very painful.”
Reed nods, “Yes. For many, it is still too raw to talk about, and I believe that to a certain extent, many want to, and in fact, need to protect the secrets of Trieneliea. Unfortunately, a large number of humans have proven themselves to be problematic where supernaturals are concerned and shouldn’t have access to all of their secrets and information.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I reply honestly, as I think about all of the people that I’ve come across who have very negative views on supernaturals. Hell, my little house that I love is in a small town where the opinion of supernaturals is very low, mostly due to ignorance or scaremongering done by certain news outlets. Unfortunately, towns like that aren’t unusual. Even HID, who is supposed to be there to support the SID in their investigation, and help when supes turn up on their investigations, even if they don’t do what they are supposed to, they are corrupt.
I do hope that is going to change though, I hope that we are going to be able to weed out the bad and get it functioning how it’s supposed to. I really do think that if we can manage that then it would take a lot of fear away that humans automatically view supes with. The simple fact is that humans are no longer top of the food chain, and the majority of them don’t like that or fear it.
I am aware that I am referring to humans as something other, but I always have when I think about this subject, I have never felt the way that the majority of humans seem to feel about supernaturals.
Griff interrupts my inner musings by adding, “My parents were there too, I was only a baby when we left but I was born there.”
“That’s so cool,” I reply. “It seems that there are a lot of people that are our age whose parents most likely came over in the evacuation. Does no one have any idea what happened after everyone left? What happened to those that were left behind?”
Raiden shakes his head, “Unless someone who has a higher clearance than us knows something, no. All of the gates that were once opened are now sealed shut. There is a team that is working on trying to open the seals, but they haven’t gotten very far.”
“Not everyone agrees with them reopening the sealed doors, the war could still be raging, and it would be too easy for it to spill over into this realm,” Reed states.
“It sounds fucking complicated,” I reply, still frowning. I turn my attention back to Raiden and apologize, “I’m sorry. I derailed our whole conversation, then. You were explaining what you knew about how many Elite teams we currently have here?”
Raiden frowns for a second and I can practically see his brain reorganizing itself so that all the information on Trieneliea gets pushed to the back and the information he has on the Elite teams gets pulled forward.
“Okay, so when we said that it was rare that it happened, we meant it. I think in the forty years that we have been here, there have been maybe four Choosing’s, possibly less,” Raiden explains to me.
My eyes widen, “Okay, I definitely didn’t think that you meant that rare.”
Raiden nods as he opens his mouth to say something else, though Evander interrupts him.
“There are maybe around the same number of elite teams that came through with the others from Trieneliea to make sure that they were safe,” Van says.
I stand up straighter, “Wait there are real Elite teams that fought in the war here?”
Van nods, “Yeah, but they are extremely private, I have never met or seen a team. No one knows their names or anything, apart from the people that came over with them, and honestly, they have so much respect for the original Elite teams that they have kept quiet.”
My shoulders sink slightly, and Raiden smiles sympathetically, “I was really disappointed when I learned that as well. I would have loved to have spoken to someone from an Elite team to learn how they worked, how all of it worked.”
“Yeah, maybe one day. If I go through this Choosing though, it would have been really handy to speak to someone from an Elite original team. What about the four teams that have become Elite since the gates closed?” I ask curiously.
“They all started off in SID and then very quickly got drafted into protecting high-profile supernaturals around the world, not necessarily the supernaturals that are high-profile in the human world but in the supernatural world. For example, your friend Ernie, he is extremely high up in the supernatural world and very well respected but hardly known in the human one.” Doc explains.
I nod, “Yeah, that makes sense.”