Chapter 20
The second the meeting ended, the community center filled with voices. It was like the entire town was speaking at once. Mostly to one another, but there was a crowd of people in front of Ferris and Ethan and his team.
Everyone was worried.
Maggie leaned over to Polly, needing to raise her voice to be heard. “Let’s wait outside.”
They wove through the center, but the main doors were busy and blocked, so Maggie tugged Polly toward the back doors.
“That was a mess,” Polly said as they stepped outside.
Cool air ran over Maggie’s cheeks. “It’s scary that all of this is happening in our small town.”
More people exited through the back door. None of them Ethan.
Polly yawned.
“Are you tired?” Maggie asked, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.
Polly lifted a shoulder. “I’ve been staying up late doing bookwork for Bloom. I think it’s catching up with me.”
“Go home.”
“No, I’ll wait for Ethan with you.”
“With that crowd around him, he’ll take ages. There are tons of people here. I’ll be safe.” More and more were filtering out the back, but no one seemed to be leaving. Everyone was talking about the new missing woman.
Polly yawned a second time. “Are you sure?”
“Go. Get some rest. I think Ethan is grabbing some food before going back to base and continuing his search, so I’ll say hi to him and come home after.” And she was going to meet the “friend.” Her belly gave a little swirl.
“Okay.” Polly pulled Maggie into a hug. “But I want to hear every detail about this mystery woman with the guys.”
It took more energy than it should have to not tense up. “I won’t leave anything out.”
It wasn’t until Polly walked away that Maggie let the mask slip and old insecurities crept to the surface.
No. She wasn’t going to do that. She was not going to let history repeat itself. This woman was obviously a military friend. That was it.
“Maggie.”
She jumped and turned, internally groaning at the sight of her aunt. Was Lilith at the town meeting, or had she come specifically for her? Either way, she didn’t want any part of a conversation with the woman.
“I need to go find Ethan.” She tried to step around her aunt.
“I know you were at my house.”
Maggie froze, her breath catching in her throat.
She turned back to her aunt slowly. “What?”
“I have cameras. And when Ethan’s little visit felt a bit…unusual, I decided to check those cameras.”
Oh, Jesus. “I was just looking for something of mine.” It was a weak excuse, but she had nothing else. An apology was on the tip of her tongue when her aunt spoke again.
“I could press charges for trespassing.”
And immediately, the apology withered away. At her aunt’s voice. At the way she posed the words like a threat. “Why don’t you?”
Lilith’s lips thinned, and she stepped closer. “Because the day your mother died, you became my responsibility. And my burden. So your mistakes reflect poorly on me.”
Uh, so this wasn’t about her, it was about Lilith. Per usual. “I’m not your responsibility anymore. Or your burden. You’re off the hook. And I’m sure if my mother had known she was going to die, she would have done everything possible to find alternative care for me.”
“You think she would have found someone else to take you in?” Lilith laughed, the sound almost manic, like the idea of someone wanting Maggie was comical. “You really think a lot of yourself, don’t you?”
“I do. I think I’m beautiful and smart and worthy of love, but that took a lot of work with my therapist, undoing years of emotional abuse you put me through.”
“Maybe it’s time you learned the truth then.”
She shouldn’t ask. She knew she shouldn’t. A voice in her head said—screamed—for her to turn around and walk away, before her aunt threw the grenade that would hurt. But she didn’t. She remained exactly where she was and asked, “The truth about what?”
“It wasn’t an accident.” Lilith stepped closer. “Your mother took drugs, went down to the river, and killed herself. To get away from you.”
Maggie flinched. “You’re lying.”
“No, dear. I did my own research. You killed my sister. You took her from me because you were exhausting and demanding and you dragged her into an ugly place. Then you expected love. From me. From men like Ethan, who are heroes. He’ll see you for what you are soon enough, and he’ll leave you too. Just wait and see.”
Maggie’s heart beat so fast it felt like it was trying to claw out of her chest. Leave her body and run from her aunt and this moment.
She shouldn’t care what the woman said. The words were designed to damage. To inflict as much pain as possible. And they had. Somehow, her aunt always knew how to hurt her.
Lilith walked away, but her words stayed, repeating in Maggie’s head.
Was it true? Had there been drugs in her mother’s system?
The stuff about alcohol and accidental drowning had never made sense. But she wasn’t sure if this made more sense.
Something vibrated in her hand. It took her a second to register that it was her phone.
Ethan.
She couldn’t talk to him right now. She needed a second to pull herself together.
It stopped ringing and a text came through.
Ethan: Where are you? The guys are heading to The Pancake Bar to grab dinner before going back to base to continue our search.
Maggie: I’ll meet you there.
Ethan: No, I’ll come to you.
Maggie: I’m talking to Polly about something. I’ll come see you at The Pancake Bar when she leaves.
She squeezed her eyes closed, hating lying. But she was on the verge of tears.
Ethan: You shouldn’t be alone.
Maggie: I won’t be long. I just need a few minutes.
At least that wasn’t a lie. She needed to pull herself together. To recapture a semblance of okay even though she had no idea how to get it.
She inhaled big, deep breaths.
She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, maybe seconds, maybe minutes.
Another text came through on her phone.
Ethan: I’m getting worried, Mags. Are you close?
You’re okay, Maggie. They were only words. They can’t hurt you.
When she finally walked across the street to The Pancake Bar, she was the first person Maggie saw. The woman from eleven years ago. She was touching Ethan’s shoulder as they stood at the counter.
And there they were again. Those words.
Exhausting. Demanding. Expectant of love.
Ethan shot a glance at the door. He and his team had ordered, and Maggie should have been there by now. It had taken too long to get out of the community center.
Why hadn’t she wanted to walk here with him? Was something going on with Polly?
He lifted his phone and texted her again.
Ethan: I’m getting worried, Mags. Are you close?
Jay nudged his shoulder. “You okay?”
“I’m worried about Maggie. She should be here by now.”
“I’m sure she’s okay.” Jay grinned. “I’m actually excited to meet the infamous Maggie Sinclair. What does she know about me?”
“You don’t want to know the answer to that.”
“You haven’t told her about your smartest friend?” Jay grabbed her chest like she was injured. “Nothing about the woman who saved your ass time and time again?”
“Afraid not.”
“Hm. I guess I’d be hurt if I had a heart.”
Despite everything, he laughed. “You don’t think you have a heart?”
“If I do, its beats are certainly not consistent.”
He chuckled again.
She grabbed his shoulder. “Hey, don’t laugh at my deficiency.”
He shook his head and turned to see Maggie standing by the front door.
Something was wrong. She was too pale. And her eyes were red-rimmed. Had she been crying? He was across the room in a second, cupping her cheek. “Hey, are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
He didn’t believe her. “Maggie—”
“Please.” She touched his arm. “Not here. Did you say you wanted to introduce me to a friend?”
His brows flickered, but he moved back toward the counter. “Maggie, this is Jalen, but we call her Jay. She was our intelligence specialist in the Navy.”
Jay held out a hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Maggie. I’ve heard many great things.”
“I haven’t heard anything about you.” She shook her hand. “But I’m looking forward to getting to know you.”
“I’ve just learned that he’s told you nothing. Not gonna lie, it kinda hurt.”
As the women talked, his phone vibrated with a text.
Polly: Hey. Maggie isn’t answering my text. Are you with her?
Ethan: Yeah, she’s here at The Pancake Bar. How was she when she left you?
He should be figuring things out with Maggie and not asking her best friend, but he wanted to know what the hell was going on and he wanted to know now.
Polly: She was fine. Why? Is she not okay now?
Ethan: I’m not sure.
He shoved his phone back into his pocket as Jay whistled. “I’m impressed.”
Maggie offered a small smile.
He touched her back. “Do you want me to order you something?”
She shook her head. “I’m not hungry.”
“So, tell me the most embarrassing thing Ethan did in high school,” Jay said, looking far too excited.
Twenty minutes later and their food still hadn’t arrived. The place had been packed since the meeting had finished. It was like the entire town had decided to come here for a post-meeting meal.
Jay was in the middle of a story about a day he’d drunk too much and lost his boots, but he was done being patient and done with the small talk. Just…done.
“Excuse us for a moment.” He grabbed Maggie’s wrist and guided her toward a quiet corner of the restaurant.
“What are you doing?” she gasped.
He didn’t stop until he had her in the hall near the bathroom. “What’s going on?”
“I’m meeting your friend.” Maggie swallowed, her bottom lip disappearing between her teeth before she asked, “Have you two ever dated?”
He frowned. “What?”
“It’s okay if you have.”
He searched her eyes. Eyes that still weren’t quite bright enough. “We kissed once. About a year ago. We were both drunk, but we still realized right away that nothing was there. It didn’t go any further.”
She frowned, like she was trying to work out if he was telling the truth.
“You think I’d lie to you?”
“I think—” She paused for a moment. “That’s she’s beautiful. And clearly incredibly smart. She’s confident, like she never questions whether she belongs in any room.”
“Maggie, what the hell is going on?”
Her gaze lowered, and when she looked back up at him, tears pooled in her eyes. And fuck, they gutted him. “My, um, aunt found me after the meeting.”
Jesus fucking Christ. He should have known this was about Lilith. “What did she say?”
“A lot actually. She doesn’t actually believe that my mother’s drowning was an accident.”
Dread pooled in his gut. “What does she believe?”
“That my mom took drugs and killed herself…because of me. Because I’m one gigantic burden.”
For a moment, black rage literally blinded him. Made him want to go out there and find the woman, give her a goddamn piece of his mind. He forced himself to remain exactly where he was. “You know that’s not true, right? You have to know that.”
“Why didn’t you respond to my texts that night? Or why didn’t you call me back?”
Confusion replaced the anger. “What?”
“The night I broke up with you, I called you. And I sent you so many messages. You didn’t respond to a single one of them.”
The fuck? “I didn’t—”
“Ethan.” Ryan stepped into the hall. “The guys found something. We have to go.”
He didn’t want to go anywhere.
Maggie stepped back. “Go.”
“Mags—”
“I’ll be okay. Your team needs you.”
He wanted to get to the bottom of this thing with Maggie. But if the team had a lead, he couldn’t hesitate. Fuck.
He lowered his mouth and pressed a kiss to her forehead before whispering, “Call me the second you get home so I know you’re safe.”
She nodded.
He forced himself to leave, to walk away from her, when he knew everything was far from okay.