Chapter 13
Cassie
T he deep, earthy tone of his voice, the way it washes over my name in the darkness of his car, it makes my insides quiver.
Inching even closer, our jean-clad thighs are touching now, and my hands are trembling, but not from nerves. From anticipation.
When I imagine his mouth on my mouth, my heart races so fast it feels like it’s going to explode.
Trying to figure out what’s going on inside me is confusing, because the feelings I’m having for Quinn are soft and tender, and yet passionate and urgent all at the same time.
I want this. I want him .
I want him to kiss me. I need him to kiss me.
Reaching up, I touch Quinn’s cheek with my fingertips. His breath hitches at the tiniest touch, so I sweep my thumb over his jaw to see how he’ll react. He doesn’t stop me. With lips slightly parted, I close my eyes, my head falling softly to one side. Never before has kissing a man been so all-consuming, so overpowering, as if nothing else in the world matters other than having his mouth on mine.
“Cassie…” he says again.
My eyes pop open, and that’s when I notice he’s leaning back slightly, lifting my hands from his face, and returning them to my lap. His hands on my skin feel right in so many ways, but his body language is all kinds of wrong.
“You…you don’t want to—” The words stick in my throat.
Quinn blows out a sharp breath, and his eyelids flutter shut for a beat. “It’s not that I don’t want to, trust me. But there’s more to think about here than just you and me. There would be repercussions, and people will get hurt.”
“I see.”
With a flash of pain, he looks away. “It’s the right thing to do, Cassie.”
“Sure.” I manage to nod.
“Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”
My silence only deepens the awkwardness. Wow, I really messed this up. I bite my lower lip, trying desperately not to cry. When I eventually find my voice it’s tight and laced with regret. “I’ll just get going then. Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you around.”
“Cassie, wait…”
But I don’t wait. Pushing open the door, I slide out of the car with my self-esteem tucked firmly inside my purse. At long last I actually know where I stand with this man. Good. That’s good. Now I can just get on with my life. I can go back to feeling empty and alone. Excellent.
The cold night air smacks me hard in the face as I slam the car door shut and stomp toward my apartment building. Humiliation spews over the tentative hold I have on it, and hot tears burn the back of my eyes. I can’t believe I was so stupid. I can’t believe I just put myself out there again, only to be turned down in such a spectacular fashion. Mortifying. And there isn’t a single thing I can do about it.
The sound of a fist hitting the steering wheel behind me only ignites my temper. Go to hell, Quinn. This is your doing.
I’d felt it. Or at least, I thought I’d felt it. I’d felt a connection building between us. An attraction. A smarter person would have picked up on the signs. But I’m not feeling too smart right now. I feel foolish. So fucking foolish for developing feelings for him. Turns out, I know nothing about connections or feelings or attractions. Because as it turns out, when it comes to Quinn Tanner I was wrong on all counts.
I thought pressing the play button on my life was exactly what I needed to do. I’ve been living on pause for way too long. But if tonight has taught me anything, it’s that all I really want to do is to press rewind, and start all over again.