Chapter 8
H is erection was finally starting to fade and then she hit him with that.
She wanted casual sex. With him.
The woman with the killer legs and the teasing tongue and the little whimpers when he ground against her wanted to sleep with him.
Oh, but Priya. I don’t want sex. I don’t want to sleep together. I want to fuck you until you agree this is the worst idea in history.
The problem was that it’d be too late. He’d get hurt. He’d want too much or not enough and she’d get hurt. Or worse, she’d lie to him. Use him. Manipulate him.
There it was. The real reason he had a hard time pushing farther than a spontaneous kiss.
“Maybe you can, but I’ve been used for sex before,” he said. “And I’ve had sex used against me to trap me into more.”
She deflated before his eyes, the defiant light in her eyes fading. “I guess I’ve been in the middle. No one cared enough either way.”
He used to pride himself on how well he read people in the boardroom. But the last few years, he’d been around sheep and cattle or stuck in a combine or grain truck by himself. His skills were dull.
She thought she wasn’t appealing enough for a guy to toss his doubts aside and jump in the sack with her.
He walked up to her. Her gaze remained fixed to his chest where she’d fisted his shirt. He tilted her head back.
“It isn’t a bad thing to not be lumped into those categories.”
“You mean not to be so dead sexy a guy would go stupid just to be with you? Or not to be so dead sexy a guy wouldn’t even think about the complications sleeping with you would cause?” Her lips thinned, but they were still unfortunately lush. “I’m in the middle. So perfectly…dull.”
How could she think she was dull? Her beauty was like the first spring ride on horseback after a long, bitter winter. And her brains? Looks were one thing, but someone he could spend hours talking to was a person he wanted to keep around. But he knew what she meant. Didn’t mean he agreed.
He couldn’t help himself. Touching his lips to hers, he kept it only a peck. “It’s okay to be the one guys respect.”
“Right. It’s a well-known fact that all guys list ‘respect’ as the number one thing they want in a partner.”
Her flat tone made him chuckle. “It’s like one of those things that’s a given and doesn’t need to be mentioned.”
She waved him off. “Regardless. I hadn’t planned on discussing my lack of a love life—or any social life whatsoever—tonight. I’m not looking for pity, or a pity lay. Let’s consider the topic dropped and move on.” She charged toward the kitchen.
Damn this big-ass house and her speed. He used all his height to catch up with her. This topic was not dropped, and he couldn’t let it go. “Now, you can’t hang casual sex in front of me and then drop it.” He should let it stay dropped and forget it.
He should not be feeling this way about his ex’s friend and doctor. Maisy’s death should be a burden on their relationship, not something that brought them closer.
“I didn’t drop it,” she said. “You did.” That’s right. He’d tried.
“Because it was the honorable thing to do.” He was tired of being honorable. Not the kind that would use Priya and discard her. There had to be a middle ground. The more distanced they got from that blistering kiss in the kitchen, the more he regretted his instant dismissal that it wouldn’t work.
“Justin. I get it. As your friend, I’m not going to pressure you into anything between us that’s out of your comfort zone.”
He advanced on her. She backed her tight little ass up to the counter, but she didn’t sidle around him and dart away.
“You get that I wouldn’t be in this for a long-term relationship.
You get that it would just be a release for both of us.
And that we’d use all the protection possible to prevent any and all chances of a pregnancy. ”
Her expression darkened. “I’m not the type to trap you into anything.”
“I know you’re not the opportunist Maisy was.”
Her mouth tightened. “Right.”
Did she also suspect Maisy had lied about protection? His first mistake was not using the condom he’d had in his wallet, but the one Maisy produced had looked good enough…in a dark room, when he was in a rush to forget everything.
Did Priya know something, and if she did, would she say anything?
No. No one could take back the result, and he’d never give up his son. That part of his past would stay there. It couldn’t come back and hurt him again.
“We can be reasonable adults. Just sex between friends.” When he’d woken up this morning, he wouldn’t have believed he’d be having this conversation before dinner—much less with Priya.
“Between us . Exclusive friends with benefits.”
He blinked. That sounded a lot like a relationship. He had no plans to sleep with anyone else, no interest either, but her request was a little too earnest.
She rubbed her hands over her face. “Oh God. What am I doing? Never mind.”
“No.” He inched closer until he towered over her. “Exclusive friends with benefits. Agreed.”
Her throat worked as she swallowed, and he couldn’t look away. It gave him dirty thoughts that were suddenly attainable and not a thought he had to kick out of his head. Like he’d been doing since she first arrived to save his ass.
“So…” Her gaze darted around. If it weren’t for her nerves the air would sizzle between them. He held his position to keep from scaring her away. “When do we start?”
Now. Fuck, he could do it now. Right here.
His intelligent brain kicked in. He had zero condoms on him.
After he’d learned he was going to be a dad, he’d tossed them all.
Without any, he wouldn’t go roping his life to another woman.
Was Priya on the pill? One of those ring things?
Or that thing that gets stuck up there inside them? All three? Maybe she had condoms.
No. He wasn’t trusting that decision to anyone else again.
Priya was waiting for him to answer, uncertainty creeping into her gaze.
“You and the baby dictate the schedule.” He shrugged, like planning sex was the most mundane thing he’d ever done. “I don’t think I’ll have to sneak women around until he’s a toddler. A boy with no mom doesn’t need a stream of women coming and going.”
Did he imagine the flash of hurt in her eyes? He had to be honest about what his life allowed.
“I can come over—” Her gaze unfocused like she was running her schedule through her pretty little head.
“Tonight.” He loved the way her delicately arched brow peaked higher. By now, he knew her schedule. She wasn’t on call.
“Tonight?”
“I have to pick up Isaiah after we eat. That’ll give us time to think.” Though he didn’t want to wait. If that kiss was any indication of what being with her would be like, he’d drive himself crazy playing the waiting game.
She stared at him while his heart hammered with each tick of the clock. “Tonight, then. Our food is probably cold.”
“Worth it.”
She sputtered a laugh. “I’ll finish setting the table and you grab the meal.”
Eating with her after agreeing to sex in a few hours was a slow form of torture.
He spent half the meal watching her lips close around her fork.
The delicate way she chewed. How she tilted her head and studied her plate as she swallowed, like she was strategizing just how to scoop up her next bite.
She stuck to her risotto and he cleaned up the two pork chops.
“I have cupcakes for dessert,” she said as they each finished the last of their meal. “Homemade.”
His stomach instantly made room. Anything this woman made, he’d eat. His taste buds seemed to form a special attachment to any food prepared by her.
“You bake, too?” They’d spent so much time together recently, he felt like he should know that. Yet she’d never brought over goodies, homemade or otherwise.
“I bake when I’m… To relax. I needed a little extra kick after this week.” She got up and disappeared into the kitchen. He cursed the long sweater for hiding the sway of her ass.
When she reappeared she held a round stand with a wide base in her hand. A dozen cupcakes with delicate pink and green frosting were stacked on top.
“Are those flowers?” A smile lifted his lips as he imagined Priya concentrating over a piping bag. That little line forming between her brows, her lips puckered in concentration.
“A poor version, yes. I haven’t had much time to play in the kitchen since I started working.” She scooted the serving dish closer to him and took a seat. “Until now.” That cryptic tone again.
He snagged a sweet. “Why now?”
She stilled for only a moment while peeling away the wrapper. “I’m home,” she said lightly. “Back to cleaning ladies and yard service.”
Justin looked around. “No shit? They hire out all that?” He could hire someone to cook, but with a big family, he didn’t need more people in his business.
“Mom and Dad want to be free to do what’s important.
When we were kids, the stress was on studying, not vacuuming—more so for me, at least—and experiencing the world outside of Moore, though I wasn’t encouraged to travel as much as Devya.
” Another shadow crossed her face. Did she miss traveling?
“You may have noticed I liked to tidy things.”
“Oh yeah. I’ve noticed.” The corner of the nursery was back to its disaster zone state since she hadn’t been there, and a pile of dishes waited to get loaded in the dishwasher.
“It’s a good outlet for me when life gets overwhelming. But here…” She waved her arm around and rolled her eyes.
“Constantly clean.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m sure your parents would rather you concentrate on other things than cleaning their house.”
“Their days being tied down are over. They’ve moved on to travel.” Her tone was flat as she nibbled the icing off her dessert.
Okay. She wasn’t going to be more forthcoming. Then all he could do was to take her mind off whatever bothered her. To do that, he’d have to keep the night moving.