Chapter 4 #2
They enjoyed the simple meal and surface conversation, which Maya wished would go deeper, but they’d only just reconnected, so keeping it light was probably best. Getting involved with Gideon—assuming he was even interested—was really not the best idea.
Not with the scars and baggage she was still dealing with.
He looked at her. “Do you wanna go hiking for a little bit?”
She shook her foot at him. “Why do you think I wore my boots?”
He grinned. “All right, then let’s get to the top of that mountain over there so we can have a different view.
” He returned the cooler to the snowmobile, then took her hand.
She hesitated, smiled, then let him lead her to the trail that would take them through more woods and up to the top.
There was no way to ride the snowmobiles, so on foot it would be.
“I guess you did come up here,” she said. “It’s the only way you would know where this trail leads.”
“What? You think I would lie?”
“Never. You’ve always been one of the most honest and transparent people I’ve ever met. It’s one of the things I always admired and really liked about you.”
His eyes darkened for a moment, and she wondered what it was she’d said that changed his mood so rapidly.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Nothing.”
Maya frowned and let him drop the subject. But she could tell it was definitely something.
An hour later, after more small talk than he could stomach, Gideon followed Maya back down the mountain toward the snowmobiles, replaying her words in his head on an endless loop.
You’ve always been one of the most honest and transparent people I’ve ever met.
It’s one of the things I always admired and really liked about you.
Unfortunately, if she knew the truth, all of that would change in the blink of an eye. It sobered him. Reminded him his time at the resort was fleeting. A blip in time. He needed to keep his distance and not fall for her again.
And yet . . .
When he looked into her eyes, he saw the concern, the questions, the . . . caring. She’d always cared about him. She just hadn’t cared in the way he’d wanted her to. But maybe that could change?
Maybe, but it didn’t matter.
In hindsight, it was probably a good thing they hadn’t taken their friendship any further. Then again, if she’d been by his side all this time, would he have made the same choices?
Probably. And driven her away in the process.
“Gideon?” Maya hurried after him and placed a hand on his arm. “Wait up. What happened back there? We’ve talked for an hour without saying anything, and I need to know what it was I said that changed the whole atmosphere between us. Are you okay?”
He stopped next to his machine and pulled his helmet on. “Yeah, I’m okay. It’s nothing. Seriously. We should probably get back so I can help in some way.”
She planted her hands on her hips and scowled at him. “You’re hiding something.”
He snorted. “Why don’t you tell me what you really think?”
“Someone needs to say what they’re really thinking,” she shot back.
He forgot how fast she was on her feet when it came to retorts. “Look, Maya, it just occurred to me that I’m not the same person I was when you knew me.”
She scoffed. “Neither of us are.”
“But I’m—”
“What? Just say it.”
“I’m not a good person,” he blurted. “And you think I am. So when you tell me how great I am, it just makes me feel like a huge fraud. And that brings up all the regret about some choices I’ve made.”
She blinked. “Okay. So, I triggered you. But why do you think you’re not a good person? Because from what I can see, you definitely are. I mean, not so good you don’t need God, but good in general.”
He bit off a groan. What was wrong with him? And she was right. He did need God. But for now . . .
“I . . . don’t know if I can explain. I’ve just . . .” He swiped a hand down his face, trying to figure out how to word it. “I’ve made some bad decisions that left me facing the consequences.”
“Such as?”
“Such as I’m at a loss right now, okay? I don’t have a job or a business or even a family at the moment.”
“Wait, stop right there. What do you mean no family? Your parents love you more than life.”
“I know. At least I used to know that, but now . . . I’m not sure.”
“How could you possibly think that?”
“Because of some of those choices I mentioned. My parents are . . . disappointed and their disappointment guts me. Which means I don’t see them. I can’t. Much.”
“Gideon . . .”
His name in her soft whisper nearly undid him. He sighed. “Don’t.”
“I’m not. Just tell me.”
After a few seconds, he shook his head and looked off into the distance. “I allowed some people who weren’t exactly the most honest to invest in my business. They wanted to cut corners. Like a lot of corners. I didn’t realize it at the time but figured it out fairly quickly.”
“Oh . . . what did you do?”
“Nothing. At first. But I knew I had to do something. Only I waited too long and someone got hurt. I went to the cops and told them what was going on. As a result, there was an investigation into everything. Before long, my reputation, my business, everything, was in question. Most of it was lies, but the part that was true did irreparable damage. A local construction business bought out the company when it went to auction and that was that. I helped the police but told them they had to keep my name out of it. I didn’t want any of it reflecting on my family.
They kept it as quiet as they could, but .
. .” He shrugged and snapped his lips shut.
That was way more than he’d planned to say, and she still didn’t know the worst of it.
“I told you I came here because I needed to think. To figure out a plan, work out the details.”
“Details for what?”
“I’m thinking about doing something that could turn everything around or .
. . not. It’s a huge risk. A new business, a clean slate, and a fresh start.
But it would mean putting everything into it.
And I do mean everything. It would mean taking out a loan and using every last penny I have.
” He shrugged. “I just don’t know . . .”
For a moment, she didn’t speak. Then blew out a low breath. “Oh. Wow. That’s intense.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m just not clear on one thing.”
“What?”
“How does that make you a bad person?”
“Because I—” Her eyes were so clear, compassionate. He couldn’t bear to see that look change. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“But you refused to be a part of it. That makes you honorable. Help me understand why you can’t see that.”
“It doesn’t matter. Drop it, okay?” She flinched at his harsh tone, and his heart berated him for it. “Look, Maya, I’m sorr—”
“No, forget it,” she said, her voice cool, face impassive.
“You said it doesn’t matter. I’ll respect that.
We’ve just reconnected after years apart.
We’ve acknowledged we’re different people on different paths.
I can’t expect us to go back to the close friendship right off the bat, so I apologize.
I’ll meet you back at the snowmobile rental. ”
Before he could respond or attempt to apologize again, she’d snapped on her helmet, hopped on her machine, and started back down the mountain.
Gideon groaned. “You’re an idiot, man.” He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings, he just hadn’t wanted to lose her respect.
But he might have managed to do that anyway.
He mounted his own machine and, when he looked down, noticed footprints in the snow that hadn’t been there before.
Footprints that weren’t his or Maya’s.
He frowned and glanced around. “Anyone here?”
Silence.
He sighed and shook his head, cranked the engine, and followed Maya’s tracks. He’d try to apologize again.
And tell her why you snapped?
Maybe.
Probably not.
But he should.
Something in the middle of the avalanche slide snagged his attention as he zipped past. A dip in the snow, something dark—like a hole and a piece of flat wood just below it. He had no time to figure that out and gunned the machine.
He finally caught sight of Maya about halfway down.
The slopes to their right were sparsely populated but not empty.
Busier than when they’d started out. Maya bounced off the snowmobile trail and onto the ski slope.
What was she doing? She wasn’t supposed to be there.
She whipped around a skier who slid to a stop and yelled something at her, but instead of slowing down, she seemed to go faster.
It did look like she was trying to get back onto the trail but was having trouble.
Dread pooled in his belly. There was no way she’d be so careless on the machine, no matter her mood.
Something was wrong.