Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
Ididn’t hear Rakkel and Geord making their choices, barely registering the sky turning blue for Rakkel as Frigg gave her blessing, and purple for Geord, with Tyr standing behind his choices.
Instead, I was acutely aware of the two men standing behind either one of my shoulders, one clenching and unclenching his hands and the other moving so close his every breath blew through my hair.
Darcke moved like my shadow: each time I tried to create some space between us, his body mockingly twisted with mine. With him so close, I was becoming dizzy from not being able to draw a full breath.
When the crowd before us broke up into smaller groups and normal fires were lit again, casting the glen in soft light, thralls walked from the king’s ship, carrying trays of food and drink in their hands, which they dispersed amongst the heirs and their iron-bound first, then to the rest of the Hird.
I declined a drink from the thrall I recognized from the first few nights, and when the girl realized who I was as well, her eyes dragged over my body before she spun, nose toward the aurora still weaving across the sky, as if the very air I breathed was beneath her.
I lowered my own chin.
I couldn’t find anything within me to tell her she was wrong.
“Even the servants can’t stand you.” Darcke’s lips nearly brushed my ear.
I recoiled, spinning on my heel.
“Can you back up?” I asked when he continued inching into my space.
“Why?” Darcke raised his brows innocently as he moved with me when I retreated. “I thought you wanted me tied to you? Isn’t that what this is all about? Putting me in my place for daring to not bow for the most special heir?”
My bottom lip trembled without my permission. I’d been the one to create this reputation by staying away from everyone—by refusing to fight and allowing the rumors to spread—but it wasn’t like I enjoyed it.
“I think she’s going to cry,” Kilia taunted.
So did I. But I would do everything in my power not to.
“Your friend is heading this way,” Darcke observed, finally offering me an inch of space.
Ivren’s face was pale as he strode across the glen, and from the way Viljan glared after him, he must have ordered my guard to stay back.
“You can leave,” I said.
“But this looks like it’ll be so much fun,” Darcke said, making Kilia laugh.
A small hand touched my shoulder.
“Do you need me?” Ilse asked. “If not, I might go nurse my injuries from last night.”
“Aw, is that why she chose you? Because you’re going to protect her from us?” Kilia stared down at the girl, who was almost two heads shorter than him. “Doesn’t seem like the wisest decision, given that hand.”
Ilse’s smile was so sweet it hurt my teeth. “I’m fairly certain she chose me because she’s far cleverer than she lets on. Hence why she is going to allow you two bastards to swing your stupid axes around her.”
Kilia’s face fell, while Darcke’s darkened.
“Go,” I urged. I didn’t need to be responsible for another person getting hurt today.
“Thank you,” Ilse said. “Not only for letting me rest but for choosing me. It’s an honor.”
Darcke scoffed so loudly several people who’d had their backs to us turned around. “Fuck honor.”
Ilse grimaced before slipping away as Ivren reached us.
“What the fuck are you thinking?” Ivren demanded.
“What the fuck are you thinking?” I shoved my finger into his chest, hating that my voice shook at the end of my question. “You’re supposed to be my friend.”
“I—” Ivren opened and closed his mouth a few times. “Come. I need to speak to you alone.”
He took my hand and dragged me away from Kilia and Darcke. Only because I was curious as to why he’d stabbed me in the back—why he’d fucking killed me—did I allow him.
“Well.” I crossed my hands over my chest when he stopped a few feet away, keeping us half shielded against a tree.
“I… I’m sorry,” Ivren said. “I wanted to talk to you about it before, but after hearing from Viljan you were going to select Kilia, I knew you wouldn’t listen.”
“Listen to what? I don’t see how you can explain this away. You’ve all but killed me yourself, Ivren! You know! You know, and you did it anyway!”
“Elvara!” Ivren grabbed my hands and dragged me to him.
“It’s because I know that I did it.” Ivren’s hand flew out.
“He doesn’t even touch you! He is too proud to disobey the orders your father gave him.
Look at what happened yesterday!” He lowered his voice.
“Lika would want me to do whatever I could to protect you.” His eyes dipped to the grass. “Even if it meant you hated me.”
“How is this protecting me?” I tried to calm my voice so I didn’t draw even more attention to us. “How is this protecting my people?”
“Elvara, ever since you came here, you’ve put your people first.” Ivren’s hand flew out behind him.
“Look what it’s done to you! You have only enemies here.
” He covered his face with his hands. “Gods! I all but served Fedic up on a plate for you! He’s the perfect second—he was supposed to be mine, for fuck’s sake.
I made Viljan second—the one who will take over my people—so that you’d see I did it with honor. ”
I shook my head as Ivren pulled me closer.
“That attack yesterday?” His eyes were wild as they went between mine. “That is not the first one, nor will it be the last. I needed you to have someone who could be trusted to protect you when I’m not there. It’s not like you have any friends, and I—”
“You should have told me,” I snarled. “You should have let me make that decision.”
“I didn’t fucking imagine you’d choose the two men who hate you the most here!” Ivren all but screamed in my face. “What the fuck are you thinking?”
“I need them,” I snarled. “It’s the only way.”
“No, it isn’t,” Ivren growled. “You have me. You should have listened to what I was trying to tell you!”
“I can make my own decisions. I am as much an heir as you are.”
“Clearly you fucking can’t. Do you think Lika or your father would have been proud of what you’ve been doing? You’re gambling with your soul, Elvara!” He shook his head. “I need you alive. I need you safe!”
“Why?” I was certain I looked as disheveled as he did, and I cursed when warm tears began dripping down my cheeks at the panicked look in his eyes.
“Because…” Ivren debated with himself for a second before he pulled me even closer.
There was something in his eyes that made me stiffen—whatever was going on in his mind was raw desperation, and it was not for the reason I think he wanted me to believe.
“What are you doing?” I asked, my stomach hollowing, and not in a good way. “Let me go.”
Ivren only gripped my hands harder. “Elvara, I—”
My pulse thundered in my head as an arm slipped between us.
“That’s enough,” Darcke ordered.
Ivren’s chest heaved as his face flew between us. He seemed as confused as I did, especially as it was clear Darcke wanted to be anywhere but here right now. There was nothing noble about the way he pressed a stiff hand into Ivren’s chest.
“Are you protecting her now? You almost made her fucking cry back there,” Ivren snapped.
Darcke laughed quietly. “Can’t let you have all the fun.”
I still wasn’t sure what was happening, but I wiped at my cheeks, tilting my face to the ground when Kilia stared at me with an expression that looked far too much like pity.
“Leave,” Darcke ordered.
“You can’t tell me what to do, second,” Ivren hissed. “You might have been a trainer before, and as such I had to obey you, but you’re under her command now. That means I outrank you.”
I wasn’t sure what Darcke hated most with that statement, but thankfully he didn’t look my way when a sob fought its way through my throat.
“Is that so?” Darcke said, his tone flat before turning my way. “Do you want him to leave?”
There was too much happening. I wanted everyone to leave.
“Elvara.” As Ivren lowered his voice, a plea in it, I ripped my hands away.
“Yes, please.” I needed space. I needed to know I wasn’t going crazy—that what I’d done today had been for the right reasons. That I hadn’t had a choice.
Darcke nodded to Kilia, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen such betrayal cross anyone’s face as when the twin took Ivren by the neck and dragged him away before throwing him to the ground in front of Viljan and the other two men he’d selected for his iron-bound.
He took your second, I reminded myself. He deserves it.
The guilt eased when Viljan didn’t even look my way even though his neck strained from exertion, fighting the order Ivren must have given him.
When I cleared my throat, Darcke took a step back.
“No need to thank me,” the warrior said.
“I hadn’t planned to,” I responded, although we both knew it was a lie.
“Good.” Darcke continued retreating. “That I have to do this doesn’t mean I’m going to save you from everyone who hates you.” He clicked his tongue. “That would occupy me from sunup to sundown.”
“I know,” I replied hoarsely. “I don’t need you to.”
Darcke was about to storm off when he turned my way again. “Why did you choose me?”
I didn’t respond, and that cold laugh trickled over me once more.
“I don’t even know why I fucking try,” Darcke scoffed as he stalked off toward the harbor.
It took everything in me not to cower beneath the glares of the people spread out in the glen as I walked through it, unsure where I should go. But it was impossible to tune out the whispers that followed my every step.
“Can you believe she chose Darcke?”
“She doesn’t think any of us are good enough for her.”
“Did you see his face? I’ll be surprised if she survives the first trial.”
“No wonder her parents didn’t come to show their support. I can’t imagine who can stand her snotty attitude.”
I forced my eyes open to let the wind dry more of the tears that threatened to spill, and took in the sight of a copse of trees.
One of them had a low-hanging branch that was partly hidden by the green leaves swaying in the wind, and when a servant passed with a tray of horns that smelled strongly of liquor, I swiped one off it, then walked over and climbed into the shade.