Chapter 3
Oliver
The edges of the card were beginning to soften.
I traced the embossed letters of Luke’s name with the tip of my thumb.
Every day for a week, since the conversation outside Opal and Obsidian, I found myself reaching for it, smoothing my hands over it like a talisman.
It didn’t make sense. Luke didn’t make sense.
When we’d encountered him in the bathroom, he’d come across fairly macho, but then he kept glancing at me during that whole bizarre conversation with Vincent, like he’d been checking my read on things, and when I replayed the interaction I realized he’d never actually agreed with the nasty things Vincent had said.
It weirdly seemed like he’d been defending me.
Then he’d pulled me aside and spoke to me like I mattered, like he actually saw what was happening and wanted to help, giving me his card.
This stupid card I couldn’t seem to put down. I didn’t understand his angle, or him.
Luke didn’t belong in the taxonomy of men I’d navigated my whole life with dread.
Men who looked like him—tall, broad, with an imposing presence that could command an entire room—weren’t supposed to be gentle.
They weren’t supposed to speak softly, weren’t supposed to look at me like I meant something.
Luke’s dark eyes, which should have been foreboding and threatening, were liquid pools of warm espresso, all melty and soft. His tone when he spoke carried a warmth infused with something deeply abiding, something achingly rare in my life . . . kindness.
I kept circling back to the moment I’d made him laugh.
The words had slipped out before I could stop them, a spark of dry humor that bypassed the filters I’d spent years building.
I’d braced for the usual reprimand and irritation.
None came. Instead, Luke had laughed, an honest, real laugh, and the sound had reached out and touched something inside me, something I hadn’t realized still existed.
From his laughter, I fleetingly remembered the person who once spoke freely, who didn’t live in anticipation of the next mood swing or the next unexplainable bruise.
Closing my eyes, I lifted the card to my lips. I probably wouldn’t ever find the courage to use it, but holding it in my hands, knowing someone, however briefly, had seen me and had cared, had comforted me, even if it was merely his job . . .
The click of the door unlocking sent my comfort into hiding. My fingers tightened around the card for a fraction of a second before I slipped it back into my wallet, tucking it into the folds where it would remain hidden. Rolling my shoulders, I got up and made my way to the foyer to greet Vincent.
Checking my phone for the time, the thought left my lips before I could think better of it. “You’re home early.”
The door shut behind Vincent with an ominous finality, and when he turned, his appearance confirmed what my body already feared.
His dark eyes narrowed to slits, gleaming with a dangerous fury I knew I could never reason with, only survive.
Swallowing hard, I willed my breath to stay steady, my body motionless.
His fist tangled in the fabric of my shirt, jerking me forward before hurling me back into the wall.
The force of the impact sucked the air from my lungs in a shocked gasp.
He held me in place, pinned to the wall, his body crowding mine, his breath heavy with the unmistakable stench of stale liquor. “That a problem?”
“No.” The word came out in a nearly inaudible breath.
His hands closed around my neck, not enough to cut off air, but enough to remind me he had the capability. “That’s what I thought.”
Without warning, he released his hold, sending me tipping forward.
Forcing myself upright, I kept my face blank so he could detect nothing, no defiance, no fear.
Though every cell in my body screamed to run, to hide, I knew better.
I swallowed, tasting copper, belatedly realizing I’d bitten the inside of my cheek.
My body, once my own, now moved on instinct, a choreography honed over years of rehearsal in caution and fear.
Every muscle knew the rules by heart: don’t speak unless spoken to, never hold eye contact too long, never breathe too loud, never disappear but never be in the way, stay invisible until he decides to see you.
These were the laws carved into my bones, unwritten and immovable, enforced with fists and fury. The smallest misstep, the slightest deviation, might awaken disaster.
Vincent stood in the kitchen, his posture relaxed, but I saw the storm brewing, his jaw clenched too tight, betraying the rage waiting to be unleashed. The silence made the air hum with threat.
“I can prepare dinner if you’re hungry,” I said, making myself sound neither too eager, nor too reluctant.
His hand lashed out in a blur of motion, and the slap cracked through the room. The harsh sting spread across my face, my head snapping to the side.
“And why isn’t dinner ready now?” His tone, though not loud, held no softness, only venom diluted in calm.
“I didn’t expect you for another two hours, so I hadn’t started making it.” The excuse was feeble, already condemned. No explanation would be enough; logic had no place in this kind of fury.
“It doesn’t matter what time I get home. Dinner should be ready for whenever I arrive.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Apology came as a reflex now, branded on my tongue from repetition.
No use bringing up how last week he’d raged when I’d prepared dinner too early and he’d had to reheat it. Inconsistency remained the only constant with him, reason an unwelcome guest, always turned away at the door.
“Is there anything you’d prefer tonight? I thought we could do steak and potatoes.” That would be simple enough to prepare, and it had the benefit of being one of Vincent’s favorites. I hoped offering that would alleviate his temper.
He said nothing at first, the silence making my skin prickle. I didn’t dare move. After an eternity, he exhaled. I flinched as his hands rose, but instead of another blow, his fingers skimmed down the side of my face, the light contact burning with a strange dissonance.
“How about we order in?” he murmured, his voice stripped of its earlier edge. “It’ll take the same amount of time for delivery and then you won’t have to cook.”
The shift in his demeanor struck with whiplash force, as if the man before me had been recast mid-scene, replaced by an unreliable softness that unsettled me more than his irascibility.
Vincent’s mercurial moods, the wild, unrelenting swing from one extreme to the next, had become the rhythm of our life.
Apologies rarely came in words anymore. The early days of guilt and tears had faded into gestures, often a takeaway meal or sometimes a gentle touch.
These were his reparations, attempts that sometimes came across as though he were trying to barter for forgiveness.
Other times, like now, it seemed this had become the only language of remorse he still knew how to speak.
It hadn’t always been this way. In the beginning, Vince had showered me with affection. He’d seen what others had ignored and had pulled me from the wreckage, offering sanctuary. Every moment had promised permanence; he’d seen and cherished me. For six months, he’d served as my refuge.
The shift hadn’t come in thunderclaps. It arrived in accusations that I was too sensitive, my perception unreliable because of my past trauma.
It seeped in through control dressed in the costume of concern, command masquerading as care, harsh criticism disguised as the hope I might better myself.
Isolation wore the mask of protection; surveillance proclaimed itself as love.
All of it packaged with the excuse that I didn’t know any better.
Over time, those things had erased the good, until one day I looked in the mirror and no longer recognized the person staring back.
The realization struck that I’d traded one nightmare only to be trapped in another.
“I’m going to shower while we wait for the food,” Vincent said. Leaning in, he pressed a quick kiss to my cheek, the same cheek he’d struck not ten minutes earlier, a gesture so discordant it made a mockery of it. Then he turned and disappeared down the hall.
Once the water turned on and I felt certain he wouldn’t return, I let myself collapse into a chair, breath escaping in a tremble.
Unnatural heat still invaded my cheek where he’d slapped me.
Once, Vince had been meticulous, striking only where clothing would conceal the damage.
That line, like so many others, had long since been erased.
Now, there were no rules, no restraint. His rage landed anywhere.
My hand shook as I reached into my pocket, retrieving the card.
Luke Walker. A name that shimmered like a mirage on sun-scorched asphalt, beckoning with false hope, another gleaming specter in the endless parade of illusions I’d mistaken for lifelines.
Already holding too many shards of empty and broken promises, my splintered, damaged hands couldn’t take any more.
I shredded the card into miniscule pieces, wrapped them up in a damp paper towel, placed it in the trash, then lowered the lid.
Luke Walker would be nothing more than a memory.