Chapter 14 #2
“Don’t worry, I can do subtle. I’ll say the CDC issued a nationwide advisory on a zombie outbreak. The walking dead are on the move. Best to avoid large gatherings, self-isolate, and get home immediately if you value your brains.”
I gaped at him.
“Too much?” Luke tilted his head, feigning deep consideration, then snapped his fingers. “Okay, how about this? I suddenly remember I left a cursed amulet outside its jewelry box. Dangerous and deadly. Could summon demons. I must return home before the blood moon rises.”
“An amulet? Really?”
“Inherited from a long line of Eastern European mystics.”
“Why don’t you say you’ve been possessed by Edgar Allan Poe?”
“A macabre possession by the tortured poet himself, a perfect excuse. I like it. I’ll rise suddenly, mid-meal, clutch my chest and rasp, ‘The ravens, they’ve found me,’ before fleeing into the night.”
“Don’t forget to scream ‘Nevermore!’ on your way out,” I said.
“Naturally! What do you take me for? Some uninspired amateur who can’t commit to a spirit possession? Please. If I’m going to become a nineteenth-century spirit vessel, I’ll do it properly. I’ll reference black cats, and mutter about pits and pendulums.
Laughter poured out of me, softening the pit of anxiety I’d been carrying. His ridiculousness steadied me, and I think he knew that.
“Alright,” I said. “Now that we’ve discussed our exit strategy in detail, I suppose we can head out.”
“You ready?” Luke asked after he’d pulled up to the curb of Ezra and Micah’s home and cut the engine.
“Yeah. Let’s do this.”
Luke knocked on the door, and a moment later it opened. The man who stood in the doorway I recognized from the club, so this had to be Ezra.
He was attractive, built, not quite to the degree of Luke, but with definite musculature, dusty-blond hair, and kind eyes that lifted at the corners when he smiled, much like Luke’s.
I was going to pretend I didn’t notice the way Luke had become the standard by which I measured everyone new. De Nile . . . Such a lovely river. Assuming I didn’t get capsized by this hippopotamus of growing feelings, or chomped on by the crocodile teeth of this dangerous attraction.
“Hi, so glad you both could make it, please come in,” Ezra greeted.
As we stepped inside, I thrust forward the canvas bag. “I made dessert. I didn’t know what you might prefer, so I have a variety of cookies and brownies.”
“You can never go wrong with dessert in this household. And that makes you an instant upgrade from this one,” Ezra pointed to Luke. “He never brings anything anymore.”
Luke scoffed. “That’s slander. I bring something invaluable to every gathering.”
“Yeah, and what’s that?”
“Myself, of course. A rare and cherished gift.”
“Rare and cherished, more like expired and exorbitantly overpriced.”
“Then that would make you chronically ill and perpetually broke,” Luke fired back. “You’re the one who keeps inviting me back.”
As their banter carried on, a man approached from behind Ezra, leaner than both Ezra and Luke, though he still carried more mass than I did. His polished face, all sharp bone structure, was tinted with rosy warmth.
I became acutely aware of myself in contrast. Three men stood around me as if they belonged in some lifestyle ad for confidence and attractiveness, while I stood there, rigid with anxious energy radiating from me. Before I could spiral too far into self-deprecating thoughts, the man spoke.
“Ignore them, they’ve been stuck in a verbal tennis match for years. You get used to the ricochet after a while. You must be Oliver, it’s wonderful to meet you. I’m Micah.”
“Yeah . . . uh, that’s me, hi, I’m Oliver, which you knew already, obviously.” Wow, Oliver, dropped china lands with more grace than whatever the hell that was. He’s going to catch secondhand embarrassment.
But Micah’s smile didn’t waver. If anything, it softened. “Why don’t I show you to the kitchen? No sense in hauling all those desserts if the weight isn’t inside you, am I right?” he asked with a little giggle.
“Dessert weight should only be carried inside you,” I replied.
“Glad we agree. This way.”
As we passed a wooden cart nestled unobtrusively against a wall, my eyes were drawn to the peculiar centerpiece atop it. Not a real plant but one constructed from interlocking plastic bricks.
“Those are cute,” I said gesturing toward them.
“Yeah, that’s part of Ez’s LEGO plant collection.
I’ve been gifting them to him since we started dating.
It started as a bit of a joke, but he adores them and I love getting them for him.
They’re all over the house. You should see the ones in the book loft.
It’s got this whole Asian botanical garden aesthetic. ”
The way Micah spoke about Ezra held so much naked adoration.
Love was not just a feeling, but a practice, made tangible in small, silly, and beautiful things.
I wanted that. I wanted a love that made room for silliness and sentiment.
With inside jokes and visible pieces of affection scattered across furniture and built into the home we inhabited.
I’d thought I had that once, with Vincent, but now, in hindsight, I realized I’d only ever been the one giving, and Vincent had accepted it all like I owed him.
“They’re lovely,” I said.
“Ezra says they oxygenate the soul. He claims LEGO plants are the pinnacle of floral design. A way to commit the aesthetic sin of fake flowers, but with a certain whimsical flair no one could consider an affront to interior decorating, while still coming with the benefit of no watering and no wilting, only permanent joy.”
My fingers reached out to touch one of the petals. “You two seem happy together.”
“We are. We’ve hit our bumps in the road, and it took me a long time to believe I was worthy of what Ezra offered. But he kept showing up, again and again. He made a habit of loving me, and somewhere along the way, I started to let myself believe I could be loved like that.”
I was curious about what made Micah think he wasn’t worthy, namely if it might help boost my own confidence, but it would be inappropriate to ask someone I’d just met such a personal detail.
We walked the rest of the way to the kitchen. Micah gestured to the center island. “You can set everything here.”
I put the bag down and began unloading.
“Benefit of being an adult is that I don’t have to wait till after dinner to sample dessert,” Micah said, grabbing one of the snickerdoodle cookies and taking a bite. “Wow! This is the best cookie I’ve ever eaten. Are there ribbons of toffee throughout?”
“Yes, I find it gives a deeper richness and keeps it nice and soft.”
Ezra’s voice drifted into the space before his body did. “Micah, are you already devouring the sweets?” He stepped into view, rolling in the LEGO cart.
“Guilty,” Micah confessed, around another mouthful. He held the cookie aloft. “But in my defense, this one seduced me. I couldn’t resist. Its siren song of cinnamon and toffee proved too powerful. I crumbled faster than the cookie.”
“I see. For that offense, you’ll be receiving extra green beans tonight.”
“If that’s how it works, then Luke needs three extra helpings of green beans. He sampled all the cookies before we left,” I said.
“Hey now, it’s not nearly the same. I was testing them for quality assurance,” Luke said from next to me.
“You think I’d let us show up with untried desserts?
Please. That’s amateur hour and bad form.
” Grabbing a paper towel off the counter, he reached into the brownie pan for a piece, taking a bite.
“Yup, confirmed. We bringeth the most incredible desserts thanks to the ever-talented baker beside me.”
“Looks like I’m missing out,” Ezra said, leaning forward and taking a bite from the cookie Micah held.
As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Micah leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Ezra’s mouth, catching a stray crumb. “You missed a bit,” he whispered, smiling against Ezra’s lips.
Their affection made no apologies for existing. Luke had warned me, but I’d assumed he’d been exaggerating. He hadn’t been. Over the years, I’d come to believe that a love like theirs belonged only to imagination, yet here it stood, real and undeniable.
I turned away, the edges of my vision blurred, not with tears but with the pressure that comes before them. Witnessing a love so easy and profound left me raw, especially when I couldn’t quite believe something like that would ever be mine, despite my wish for it.
“Hey.” Luke’s voice broke through my thoughts.
I glanced to where he stood, his hand hovering in the air like he’d started to reach for me but pulled back at the last second, unwilling to presume but unable to let the impulse go.
In truth, I wanted him to reach for me. I liked the way Luke touched me.
His hands carried a gentleness that untangled knots.
He cocked his head toward the kitchen entryway, taking a step back, inviting me to follow. Luke guided us out of the kitchen, while leaving us a clear view into the room.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I whispered, stomach fluttering.
Luke noticed me in ways that Vincent never would have, or at least, would have ignored.
It was a heady thing. “It’s just I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed a love so tender-hearted.
Even when I thought I had that with . . .
well, you know, it wasn’t ever like this. What they have, it’s beautiful.”
“It is beautiful,” he said, nodding toward Ezra and Micah, who had their backs turned to us now, standing at the stove. “But if you’re worried we can’t compete, I’d like to go on record and say, we may not be them but we could still give them a run for their money.”
“In what way?”
“The sappy, sweet stuff. Romantic relationships don’t own the copyright on endearments and tenderness, despite what media and society would have you believe.”