Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
D arcy did not know where he was going; his only interest was to be away from Wickham. He had thought the man’s ability to disappoint him had long ago ended, yet it was possible he had been mistaken. Yet, he was glad, he supposed, that Wickham still viewed Georgiana as a little sister. At present, Darcy’s emotions were too much of a jumble to be certain what he felt; that was unlikely to change soon. Wickham had been a part of his life for as long as he could remember, but when Darcy had said that it was an end for them, he had meant it; he would never see him again, never speak to him again, ideally never hear of him again, other than to be reassured that he had left the country.
“This way,” Fitzwilliam said, taking Darcy’s arm.
His cousin led him into the courtyard. The cool November air dispelled some of the heavy weight of Darcy’s reflections, leaving behind anxiety for his sister and Elizabeth. “I must go to Elizabeth. Georgiana?—”
“Take a moment,” his cousin urged, continuing to walk towards the side of the house. “I hope he does as you told him and goes to Georgiana immediately. Until he does, Elizabeth is with her. You need to compose yourself. Are you well? I know that was difficult.”
Darcy shrugged. “I do not deny it. It was for you, too, I am sure. You and he were friends.”
“But not like you were. And, as much as he has enraged me in recent years, it has been on your behalf.”
Darcy scrubbed at his face before saying, “I could not even tell you what I most feel currently. Anger, sorrow for what might have been, devastation for Georgiana. Relief.”
Fitzwilliam squeezed Darcy’s shoulder, keeping his hand on it as they continued to walk. “It makes for a sickening combination, does it not? I can feel it all churning in my stomach. All of the sentiments you listed, and more, are acceptable. I suspect in the coming days we shall all find ourselves subject to conflicting thoughts and sensations. Let us walk round to the other side of the house. Then go and find Elizabeth. I know seeing her is what would most help you at the moment. I shall inform Bingley of what has happened.”
When there was a light tapping at the door to Georgiana’s chamber, Elizabeth went to see who it was; to no surprise, it was Mr Wickham. He averted his gaze and blushed when he saw her. Rather than let him in, she slipped into the corridor, telling Georgiana she would return in a moment without revealing who was there.
“I spoke to Darcy,” he said softly. “I shall say goodbye to her and then depart. Will you…?” His eyes flickered to the closed door.
“Her family, which includes me, will see that she is well. Go to the sitting room you and she have been using. I shall send her to you.”
His demeanour changed, and with the smugness that had always repulsed her, he nodded. “It was worth a try. When one needs money—” He gave a short cough and lowered his chin briefly before continuing, his tone more serious. “Thank you. She is fortunate to have you, as is Darcy. Please accept my best wishes for your future. Believe it or not, they are sincerely meant.”
She was tempted to tell him that she had no need for his gratitude or anything else, apart from his absence from their lives. Instead, she made a shallow curtsey. “Good luck to you too, Mr Wickham.” May we never meet again!
Re-entering the bedchamber, she informed Georgiana that he wished to speak to her. “I shall be here when you return.”
Georgiana smiled, her delight at seeing the man she believed she loved evident. Knowing what awaited her brought tears to Elizabeth’s eyes.
“If you like,” Georgiana said. “But I may be some time. Leave a note, should you decide you have waited too long!”
As she skipped out of the door, Elizabeth pressed her eyes closed, her heart breaking in anticipation of the young woman’s distress. Deciding to seek out Darcy for a quick word, she left the room; she wanted to assure herself he was well and hear what he had decided to do with Mr Wickham. Before she made it to the stairs, Darcy stepped into the corridor, evidently having kept himself out of sight in another of the chambers. Without saying a word, she walked into his waiting arms and held him as tightly as she could. Managing not to entirely release their hold on each other, he led her into the closest room.
She covered his cheeks with her hands and studied him, easily detecting how affected he was. “Tell me.”
“I do not know that I can, not so soon. I insisted he speak to Georgiana, admit he never loved her and was only interested in forcing me to give him a great deal of money. After that, I trust we shall never see him again.”
After giving him a tender kiss, she said, “That will do for now. I must return to her apartment to wait for him to be done. Would Mr Bingley object to me staying? I think I should, for Georgiana. Jane might come, or since she and Mr Bingley are engaged, Mary might be more suitable.” As a married lady, Georgiana would be considered an acceptable chaperon, but it was difficult for Elizabeth to think of her in those terms.
“I suspect Georgiana will need us all, even more than we can provide. Bingley will agree, and I suggest we leave the matter of whom to send to your mother.”
Elizabeth nodded. “I shall write her a note now, say that Georgiana has taken ill and I wish to be here to assist her. Please speak to Mr Bingley and arrange for my message to be delivered.”
He nodded, and they shared a brief kiss.
She encouraged him to return to Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Bingley at once, adding, “There is no need for you to risk seeing him again.”
After kissing the top of her head and murmuring his thanks, he left her. Elizabeth then sat on the edge of a chair in Georgiana’s chamber, a strange emptiness filling her as she waited. It was not long before she heard a man’s footsteps pass along the corridor. There being no indication of a second person, Elizabeth rushed in the direction of the sitting room. The sight of Georgiana, curled into a tight ball on the floor by a sofa, as though she had fallen from it, brought fresh tears to Elizabeth’s eyes.
Elizabeth flew to Georgiana, gathered her into her arms, tears spilling out of her own eyes, and prayed for the strength to help her.
Bingley raised no objections to Elizabeth remaining. He added his own note to Mrs Bennet, vowing to have his housekeeper act as chaperon while assuring her that he would gladly accommodate as many of her daughters as she cared to send to assist Elizabeth. Only Jane came, bringing clothes for her sister.
“My mother supposes there is no harm in Lizzy and I staying. In addition to a married lady being here, ill or not, the wedding is soon,” Miss Bennet said.
Elizabeth remained above stairs with Georgiana for a long while, not appearing until more than an hour after her sister had arrived. Looking spent, she entered the drawing room, where Darcy and the others were gathered.
“Lizzy!” Jane ran to her sister and embraced her.
“She is sleeping,” Elizabeth said, looking at Darcy over her sister’s shoulder. “I have come in search of tea.”
The housekeeper, who had been sitting in the corner since Jane’s arrival, quietly sewing, briefly left the room to arrange refreshments.
“I am well,” Elizabeth assured her sister. “Georgiana will be too, in time. I would like to talk to Darcy and the colonel. Do you mind? ”
Sitting across the room from the housekeeper’s preferred chair, Darcy held Elizabeth’s hand, Fitzwilliam opposite them on a chair he had carried over.
“She has fallen into a fitful sleep,” she told them. “I shall not remain long. I want to be there when she wakes.”
“I would be happy to sit with her,” Fitzwilliam said. “Then you might rest and have a proper meal.”
“Or I shall. I will not have you become ill, Elizabeth,” Darcy said.
She gave them both fond smiles, but her eyes lingered on his. “At the moment, seeing either of you is more likely to increase her suffering than decrease it. She is heartbroken and humiliated, and I am afraid it is beginning to occur to her how terribly she acted by agreeing to an elopement. Let her get past this first, enormously difficult shock. She loves you both dearly, and I suspect there will be a period of hating herself for disappointing you and bringing this trouble to your lives.”
Darcy exchanged a look with his cousin; Fitzwilliam shrugged, silently agreeing to Elizabeth’s request.
To her, Darcy said, “You cannot know how greatly I appreciate you caring for her. My sister will regret causing you difficulties too, do you not think?”
“I suppose she will, but it will not be as severe. Have either of you told Jane what has happened?”
Darcy shook his head, and Fitzwilliam said, “I did tell Bingley, but I do not know if he explained it to her.”
“Perhaps you should ask her to join you when you return to Georgiana,” Darcy suggested. He added, his voice stern. “Once you have eaten.” Elizabeth squeezed his hand and nodded. “When Georgiana wakes, please try to make her believe that we love her, do not blame her, and shall do what we can to see her through this. ”
Fitzwilliam was quick to second his words, and Elizabeth vowed that she would.
It was a difficult night, but Elizabeth had not supposed it would be otherwise. Georgiana was restless, despite the sleeping draught her maid had prepared, half-waking at times to cry and berate herself, sometimes calling for Mr Wickham. Easing her pain fell to Elizabeth; she did not want to share the burden with the maid, Miss Beswick, despite her offers of assistance. There was no possibility of disguising the fact that Mr Wickham had left her mistress, and Elizabeth had overheard Miss Beswick muttering imprecations about him. While she appeared devoted to her young mistress, Elizabeth believed Georgiana needed the love of her family, and it should be her family who tended to her.
Early that morning, as soon as Georgiana had taken more of the draught, Elizabeth left Miss Beswick to watch over her, promising to return soon.
“You ought to let me watch my mistress for a while, Miss Bennet. I have slept,” Miss Beswick said. “You can trust my discretion.”
“I do, and I know you are right, and I shall rest. I suspect my sister will want to sit with her too. We are both used to caring for our sisters and mother. It is difficult not to do it, when one of us is in need.” Elizabeth knew she would not have to ask Jane to stay with Georgiana for a few hours. Jane had been distressed to learn of what had transpired and anxious for Georgiana, Darcy, and the colonel.
“I am glad he is gone,” Elizabeth had said. “As awful as this is for them, especially her, on the whole, it is better than the alternative, which is that man always being part of our lives.” It was not quite as simple as that; Georgiana would always be married to Mr Wickham, and while there had been no announcement in the newspapers or amongst Darcy’s acquaintances or even more distant relations, the people of Meryton knew.
She assumed Darcy would be awake, despite the early hour, and was sitting where she would know to look for him. Sure enough, he was in the library. As soon as she entered, he was on his feet and taking long steps towards her. Wordlessly, he gathered her into his arms, and they stood, embracing, seeking comfort in each other, for a long while.
“Come, sit down,” he said softly. He led her to a sofa, stopping along the way to ring the bell for tea and food. “You look exhausted.”
“I am,” she agreed and described the night to him, not hiding how affected his sister was. “It was no worse than I anticipated. I do not believe you had much sleep either.” As much as his clothes were fresh and his cheeks smooth from being recently shaved, there were dark circles beneath his eyes and a heaviness about him.
“Anxiety for Georgiana made it impossible. And my thoughts have been disordered. I think the worst of it is that a small part of me keeps arguing that Wickham not bedding her is a sign that there is some decency remaining in him, that he can still feel affection. You should have heard him when he said Georgiana was like a sister to him. I did not believe it of him, that he could be less than reprehensible. I do not. I do not want to.”
“None of us are entirely good or evil. Perhaps we ought not to be so shocked to discover that a sliver of the boy you knew still exists. It does nothing to negate his terrible deeds, everything he has done to you these last years and how he used Georgiana. There is no forgiving him, but, in time, we might hope he allows that small part of him to grow so that he does some good with the years left to him rather than continue to harm others.”
They were interrupted by the arrival of tea and a tray of warm buns, butter, and jam, both of which she was grateful for. As they ate and drank, Darcy told her of the arrangements he had made regarding Mr Wickham.
“I have asked my solicitor to come to Meryton,” he said. “He will know better than I what sort of agreement to have Wickham sign. I did not want to write to him of the situation, and it would take too long if we tried to settle the matter through letters. I told Wickham one week. I want him gone from our lives as soon as possible. If it could have been finished yesterday, I would have done it.”
“And what of your relations? Have you informed them?” Elizabeth asked.
Darcy finished his tea and poured more for himself. “Fitzwilliam wrote to the earl, and I wrote to my uncle Darcy. I cannot recall what Bramwell and Rebecca’s arrangements were, now that they are married, but I believe they intended to visit relations in Hereford and maybe some other places to amuse themselves as they made their way to London.”
“Do you think Lady Romsley would be affronted if I wrote to her? I would like to reassure her that I am doing everything possible for Georgiana and ask if she has any advice.”
Darcy wrapped a hand about her neck and kissed her, briefly resting his forehead against hers before sitting back. “You are wonderful, to me and my family. None of us deserve you. ”
It was her nature to tease, and so she responded, “So you have said. I do not object to being praised, and indeed, my finer qualities are under your protection, and you are to exaggerate them as much as possible.”
He chuckled. “Please, do write to my aunt. She will appreciate your reassurances. If I send it express, she should receive it before she and my uncle set out from Romsley Hall. Fitzwilliam and I both believe they will make immediate arrangements to come.”
Elizabeth recalled that the earl’s estate was located in Warwickshire; it would take them several days to make the journey. “I shall prepare a letter at once.”
He thanked her, and said, “Fitzwilliam and I have tried to determine how we shall explain his absence. I am immensely relieved news of their marriage did not spread. It will limit the number of people who ask. I was always puzzled that Wickham did not threaten to publish an announcement. Now I suppose it is because he never truly intended to marry her, and then, when he did, he thought I would be able to have it annulled or obtain a divorce for Georgiana. How could he be so stupid?”
“I cannot answer that. As for what we should tell people, you need not make a decision today. Indeed, you can easily hold off until you can consult Lord and Lady Romsley. My family already believes Georgiana is ill, and why might Mr Wickham not have gone to London for one reason or another?”
Darcy nodded. “But what is this ‘you’? My darling, you have more than earned a right to take part in any decisions we make. Before you raise any objections, recall that it is also practical. As much as I hate it, we shall have to live with some degree of deception, just as we have been since Georgiana and Wickham appeared here, announcing that they had married. I want you to be comfortable with what we shall tell people.”
“Very well. Now, while I still have the strength to walk up the stairs, let me write to the countess. I suspect Jane is already sitting with Georgiana and, if she is, I shall go to my bed for a few hours. Please, try to rest or, if that is not possible, distract yourself by taking a ride or doing something with Mr Bingley and the colonel.”