Shamelessly #2
“Girl, don’t nobody give a damn.” Stephanie sucked her teeth, passing Carmell off to his father. “This dark and stuffy apartment is not all that.”
“And while you’re out, can you work on getting Key’s phone unlocked?” She retrieved the phone from the junk drawer in the kitchen.
“Hell yeah.” He held it in his hands as if it were more than a phone.
Not long after they left, Twon was walking through the front door. Jakia had a doctor’s appointment that he begged to take her to. Her and that baby were the only things making him feel alive. His mother’s cancer diagnosis might as well have been his because he was taking it harder than her.
“I told you I don’t need your help walking down the steps. You could’ve waited in the car; I don’t want to be late.” Jah told him.
“I gotta run to the bathroom,” he rushed past her.
She headed down without him, determined to get her point across. The help was appreciated, but she knew Twon. He was taking count of how much he was doing as if that should be the determining factor for a relationship.
She stepped out of the building, and the sun hit her skin. She could feel her body glistening like fine China behind glass. She also felt eyes on her. She didn’t have to look hard to see Hussein’s Palisade nearing.
His heart beat through his chest, watching Jakia standing in the sun.
She gained weight since the last time he saw her.
It looked good on her. Her building door opened, and Twon came running out.
He rushed to open Jakia’s door. The way he was holding her pissed Hussein off.
He parked crooked blocking Twon’s whip and the flow of traffic.
What was supposed to be a two- lane street turned into one as they had to maneuver around his Palisade.
Twon reached for his hip, but by then it was already too late. Hussein was already out of the truck with his gin pointed in Twon’s face.
“Why you gotta be so fucking dramatic?” Jakia scrunched her face, getting out of the car. “Get that out of his face.” She forced Hussein’s arm down. “Let’s talk.”
“You just rushed me out the house so we wouldn’t miss your appointment,” Twon pointed back at the building.
“I can take her, go sell your little drugs, boy.”
“Now why would I let you do that? That’s my girl and my baby.”
“Twon, go wait in the car,” Jakia spoke, hand covering her head, frustrated.
That’s not how she wanted him to find out.
Twon knew that wasn’t the way to do it. She didn’t see his insecurities until Hussein started coming around.
That’s because before he came around, she only had eyes for Twon.
Other niggas got on her nerves. Seeing him act like a teenage boy the second he spots Hussein or anyone affiliated was ensuring that even if she did forgive him, he could never be her man again.
“Ain’t no way you was fucking with that nigga for years and now he gets you pregnant. That’s my baby, Jakia. That nigga can be as delusional as he wants but you know that’s my seed. What the fuck are we doing, Jah?” Hussein stretched his arms out.
“I don’t see how we can do anything when I want to jam my gun down your aunt’s throat. I know what you’re going to say next. You’ll say that you can stay away from her but that’s not enough. And you shouldn’t have to. That’s your family.”
“You my family, too.” Hussein grabbed her hand. “You asked me to choose and I chose. Why you not letting me stand on it?”
Twon beeped the horn and neither of them moved. “It’s not you. It’s your last name.”
“I’m not tryna hear that shit.” Hussein bit his lip.
“This ain’t about Tina. It ain’t about what my cousin did to your sister.
It’s for damn sure not about that bitch ass nigga waiting on you.
” Hussein pointed. “I’m not asking you about them.
I’m talking about us. This Turner.” Hussein hit his chest. “Tell me you don’t fucking love me. ”
“When has love ever mattered?” Jakia peered into him wanting him to see what she felt on the inside.
“It don’t stop day ones from giving up their co-defendants.
It ain’t stopped family from turning on family.
It ain’t never overruled loyalty. That’s what you should be asking me.
Who am I loyal to. The answer is Khyell and Carmell.
I will cross myself for them. And you? You’re loyal to Tina.
Even when you’ve seen firsthand how evil she can be.
I don’t love you more than I hate her because I want her dead and I’m going to kill her.
I don’t give a fuck if it breaks your heart. Does it sound like I love you?”
She searched his eyes to see if he’d given up. He hadn’t. Her words did nothing to him. Hussein stared at her with the same tenacity he had before her little speech.
“If you don’t love me then I might as well marry Prissy then.” Now he was saying things to get under her skin.
“Do what you gotta do,” Jakia said lowly, slipping into the passenger seat of Twon’s whip.
All either had done was prove they had great poker faces.
On the inside they wanted to kick. Scream.
Cry. As there were different kinds of loves so were there different kinds of pains.
There was the kind you were used to. It was made of small disappointments like cancelled plans or the store running out of your favorite drink.
Then there was the pain of losing a loved one or a divorce or even failed dreams.
Then there was the cruel kind of pain. The kind where you love them and you know they love you and you’re willing to lose everything to prove it and they’re too afraid of losing anything at all.
Hussein couldn’t let Jakia kill his auntie, but he accepted that she wanted nothing to do with her.
He was willing to go no-contact because Tina had done enough to warrant that.
Jakia couldn’t even admit that she loved him.
She wouldn’t make any effort towards their happily ever after and put it all on him that they couldn’t make it. He was going to make her stand on it.
Jumping back into his Palisade, Hussein drove to the junk yard to see his father. To get at Tina, you had to go through her big brother. Senior was going to have to decide what meant more to him. Was it being a father or a brother?
GBMC | 11:52 A.M.
Twon called himself giving Jakia the silent treatment.
The drive to the hospital was quiet with only the sound of driving creeping through the cracked windows in the car.
The AC was blasting still, but Twon needed the sounds of the city as he drove.
He was expecting an apology from Jakia. She was too busy trying to hold on to Hussein’s scent.
Tears had been sitting on the brim of her eyes since she left him.
She wanted to beat her own ass for telling him to do what he had to do.
To be fair, the mere mention of Prissy’s name to her face was disrespectful.
She hated that she couldn’t be honest with him.
He chose her once, but that was before everything took a turn for the worst.
If he knew what was on her heart for his aunt, he wouldn’t choose her again. She pushed him away before he could disappoint her. It only ever worked when she was the heartbreaker. Otherwise, she’d lose respect for him like she had Twon.
“So, you ain’t gon’ say shit?” he asked, as they waited for Dr. Johnson to enter the room.
“I don’t have shit to say.”
“I got a lot of other shit going on Jah. I mean my mother’s sick.”
“Yeah, I know.” She scrolled. “You keep tell me that. It’s like you want me to feel sorry for you.”
“A normal person would,” he argued.
“A person used to being played with would. Your mother’s cancer is not my problem.
It’s hard to feel sorry for you when you are finding a way to make her dying about you!
Anytime you want me to go soft on you, you mention it.
Twon I don’t give a fuck how bad you feel because when my sister stopped breathing, you walked out my front door and left me fucking sleeping!
I feel sorry for your mother. That even on her death bed her only child is still fucking selfish. I know she didn’t raise you like that.”
Dr. Johnson stepped into the room, smiling. The smile quickly faded when he saw the facial expressions on their faces. “I can step back out if you two need a second.”
“Yes,” Twon said at the same time that Jakia was saying, “No.”
“I don’t need a second,” she spoke again. “I want to hear about my baby.”
“You’re about eleven weeks.” He put his gloves on, I believe we can get a teddy bear view at this point. Let’s see.” Teddy let the blue gel spill onto her stomach. “Hope that’s not too cold,” he checked.
“It’s fine.”
“Chart shows you’re gaining weight at a good rate. Nausea not taking anything from you, so I assume you’re doing well with that?” he asked, moving the transducer around.
“Hardly have any morning sickness. Can’t say that I’ve been able to enjoy it because I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.”