13 #2
Swallowing down the mouthful of gooeyness, I nod my head. “Mmhmm,” I mumble and clear my throat. “My mother’s parents did. My father’s were here long before that.”
“And many of them went back to Spain to find a spouse?” His eyebrows are knitted closely together with astonishment.
“I mean, yeah, but not like an arranged marriage or anything. We still have a lot of family back in Spain, so trips are frequent. It just so happens that much of our family found spouses there. Some moved back, some stayed.” I dive in and take a large bite, closing my eyes on a moan.
When I open them, I spot Nic watching me nervously. He stares at my mouth and I see his Adam’s apple bob when he swallows.
“Oh. So, um. Yeah. What was I saying?” He gives his head a little shake and blinks his eyes. “But your parents met here. In the US.”
“Yes. Through mutual friends.”
“And your sister went to Spain and found a man. But he was also from the US and just on vacation?”
“Yup. Pretty crazy, right?” The story of my family is strange to most, I know, but for us it’s just a normal “meet cute” story in the San Ramón family.
“Does that mean you’ll go to Spain, too, to find your husband?” His question brings me pause.
If he only knew the number of times my family has tried to encourage meeting a man while visiting, or the set-ups they’ve attempted, his head would spin.
My older sister, Esmeralda, has tried to set me up with her husband’s cousin, but the unibrow was a big no for me. My younger sister, Alba, came back from Spain engaged and informed me that her soon-to-be husband had a dreamy brother. But Vicenté was not the gentleman that his brother Teodoro was.
Teodoro Castillo is sweet and loving and so chivalrous.
An ideal match for Alba. But there is a reason why Vicenté Castillo is still single at the age of thirty-two.
He’s arrogant and demanding and even though he’s very handsome, I could not stand to be with a man who thought I was his property and as such, I was to serve him.
I’m no one’s little concubine, and never will be.
The asshole wants a wife whose sole purpose is to exist only for him.
That is not me.
“I don’t have plans to marry anytime soon. And when I do, it will be someone of my choosing, no matter the ethnicity, race or religion.”
“But it would help if you brought home a devilishly good looking man with some hispanic roots to Paloma and Ricardo?”
My face is impassive, understanding exactly what he is talking about.
“Not a chance, lover boy. As far as my parents will know, we will be casually dating and break-up when we both realize that we’re too different. You are wild and free and far too young. And I am focused and stable and need structure in my life. The two simply do not coexist well.”
His once exuberant expression quickly falls and he stares at his half eaten dessert.
“I don’t mean that in a bad way,” I say, trying to back track. “It’s just, you and I are at two different stages in our lives and I’m looking for a relationship that really doesn’t exist in today’s world.”
“And what type of relationship would that be?” His tone is curious and a tad bit hopeful.
I set my spoon down and place my hands in my lap.
“One of mutual respect. One that doesn’t involve an imbalance in what is contributed.
I’m not looking for a provider in terms of monetary value.
I make plenty of my own money and don’t need a man to take care of me in that way.
But I would like a man who provides me with love and affection, and can bring laughter and adventure into my life.
I want an equal, not a proprietor, if that makes sense. ”
He nods his head slowly and stares directly into my eyes. “You want someone who can show you an exciting world while standing by your side, not in front of you.”
“Yeah. Exactly.” I’m astonished by how he was able to put it all into the exact words that many men can’t quite grasp.
“But I bet it would be nice to let someone else take the lead every once in a while. Maybe behind closed doors where it’s okay to let go?
A place where you don’t mind a man taking control of your every desire without you having to ask or show him how it needs to be done.
One that would know exactly what you need and provide it.
You could release your tight hold on composure and just… be.”
I swallow, feeling sweat build on my neck and between my legs. I’ve yet to meet a man who can realize that sometimes a woman wants to be treated with respect and care just as much as she wants to be controlled. In the right place at the right time.
With how he so confidently speaks, it appears Nic is an expert in just that. When it comes to giving a woman a need she doesn't know she wants, age is nothing but a number.
Nico Loving may have the experience to read a woman’s mind but he has no clue how to care for a woman’s heart. It’s why, around him, I will keep a steel wall to guard both. I can’t let him slide into either one.
Or anything else, for that matter.