25
NICO
Me: Good morning beautiful. I had the best time last night. Think I could see you again tonight?
Mi Reina: I had fun, too. I’m going to get fat with all the food you’re always shoving down my throat. It’s supposed to be girl’s night with Lucy.
Me: I could shove something else down your throat, if you’d like.
Mi Reina: Aaaand there he is. Now it’s definitely girl’s night. How about Saturday after your practice for an early dinner?
Me: Saturday?! That’s two days away. I don’t think I’ll live.
Mi Reina: I thought you said Soba was the Diva, not you. Does he know you’ve taken his crown?
Me: Haha. You’re so funny.
Mi Reina: You forgot beautiful and intelligent.
Me: Oh I didn’t forget. I could never forget how stunning you are. We make a great pair. We should just skip all the months of waiting and hop on a plane to Vegas and get hitched.
Mi Reina: Phew. Thank you. I needed a good laugh to start the day. Let me remind you of something. You want kids, I don’t. You like to be clingy, not me. You want to live happily ever after, it doesn’t exist. Let’s just enjoy the moment for however long it lasts.
Me: However long? Baby, this is for real. However long it lasts is until the end of time. Write it down. Time stamp it. You’ll look back at this one day when we’re 90 and tell me I was right.
Mi Reina: Oh boy. There you go again. Did you read a lot of fantasy when you were a kid, because that sure is something that could never happen in real life? Oh wait…you still are a kid. I’ll buy you some self-help books. That will be a hard slap of reality. I’ve got to go. Work calls.
Me: A kid that had you talking to God. Go work. I’ll call you later and see you on Saturday. Wear something sexy.
Mi Reina: I’ll wear a nun’s habit.
Me: Mmm. Perfect for confession. “Forgive me Father for I have sinned…in the shower…on the sofa…the kitchen counter.”
Mi Reina: Why are you like this?
Me: You love me.
Mi Reina: You wish
T wo weeks .
Two weeks is all it took for me to be gone for this woman. I can now compare what I had before this as a crush, infatuation at best. But now?…now I am overwhelmingly obsessed with her. It’s pathetic but I don’t give one fuck.
I can’t even focus on my job. I literally only have to run and catch the ball and right now, I’m failing miserably. The moment I look up in the clouds, my thoughts turn to Valentina. I’ve got to snap out of this because I’m going to get fucking creamed in a ga–
“Wake the fuck up, Loving. You’re screwing up every play.” Bash slams his big paw into my helmet, driving it into my shoulders and ringing my bell like only a man the size of a giant can do.
“Fuck, Bash. You’re going to give me a damn concussion.” I shake my head out, unscrewing my helmet for where he drilled it. “I’m just having one those days, okay. Haven’t you ever been off?”
He smirks from beneath his helmet. “Yup. But the only thing that has ever had me off my game is a woman.”
My heart pounds rapidly and I clench my jaw.
I want to argue with him but it’s the truth.
I have never been off my game because of a girl.
An injury? Yes. A hangover? Yes. A woman?
Never in my life. I don’t know what this truly means, but I’m sure my dad would tell me it’s because I found one who can make my life better and that is the kind of woman you hold on to with both hands.
The whistle blows, breaking me from my thoughts and ending practice. I hurry off the field and into the showers. I need to talk to someone who can understand what it feels like to be fucked up by a woman.
Nick Soba. The Diva and as of late, a lovesick fool.
Guess it’s time for me to join the club
When I throw my bag over my shoulder as I walk out of the locker room, I hear my name shouted, echoing down the corridor.
“Loving! Get in here.” Waggers voice booms and a couple of the guys nearby reply with a “ooooo”.
I walk into his office, my head hung low and my imaginary tail between my legs.
“Yes sir?” I step forward slowly and put my hand on the back of a chair, ready to take a seat.
His face looks gruff, his brows pulled as tight as his mouth. “Don’t sit. This will be quick.” I pull my hand back and glue it to my side like a good little soldier. “Just want to say that I’m proud of your progress, on and off the field.”
He looks up at me from beneath his bifocals as I stand silent.
“Th-thank you.” I fidget in my place, not really sure what to do.
I think Waggers waits for some type of smartass response and when it doesn’t come, he says, “That’s it. Get out of here.”
I nod and quickly rush out of his office and stadium to my car where I immediately call Soba.
“Diva!” I shout when he picks up.
“It’s the Love Machine. To what do I owe the pleasure, sir?”
I throw my car into drive and fly out of the parking lot, headed home. “It’s about a girl.”
“Oooh boy. Little Nico has fallen for a girl. The king has taken a tumble, ladies and gentlemen.” I can practically hear the goddamn smile on his face.
“Yeah yeah yeah. Will you quit being an asshole? I’ve got a real question.”
He clears his throat and the sarcasm in his voice fades…slightly. “Okay. I’ll be serious. Throw it at me.”
With a deep breath I ask, “What do I do with a girlfriend? Is there like…stuff I should do or shouldn’t do? This is a new thing for me so like, she’s older. Does that mean she won’t like certain stuff…sexually?”
“Well, the first piece of advice is to quit talking like a dumbass. Are you for real? Calling her older and insinuating she won’t or can’t do things because of her age is a great way to stamp your passport on a one-way trip to Lonely Land.”
I get looks from women who are stopped at the light next to me, but I quickly avert my attention. Very unlike what I would’ve done just two short months ago.
“It’s pretty easy to be a good boyfriend. You have to try really hard to fuck it up. You first have to start with quitting that damn club.” I swallow and slam my foot on the gas. “That’s not a place for a committed man if that’s what you plan to be for Valentina.”
“Of fucking course! Geez Soba. How big of a scumbag do you think I am? We haven’t had actual sex, but I know it’s going to happen and for that reason, I really need to get my ass out of that club.”
“Well maybe right now is the best time to do it. Before you go all in with Val. Don’t wait until after and use some bullshit excuse.” I nod silently, absorbing everything my wise friend is saying.
How the fuck did that happen?
We continue to talk until I find myself pulling into the parking lot of a place that I’ll see for the last time.
It’s broad daylight out, but I still find myself alone in this small alley. Slipping in under the cover of darkness makes one much braver. I’m feeling a bit cowardly at the moment, but I remind myself that I’ll never walk down this corridor again.
The club is quiet in the late afternoon. Mostly just people setting up for evening when gluttony comes out to play. When the men and women in the high rises loosen their ties and unzip their skirts.
I look around, spotting a couple people at the bar and some ladies tending to them.
From a door behind the bar steps Sonja. She emerges with a smile, dressed all in black, and begins speaking to one of the ladies.
She’s caught up in conversation when she spots me.
The smile turns wicked and I push away images I no longer want to remember.
Her hands glide along the black bar top lit by red lights, and struts towards me on her heels. Her legs step one in front of the other like she walks a runway, all of the finesse of a model.
“Nico. What a surprise to see you at this hour. There’s only a couple of ladies here, but I’m sure I can call others if you’re willing to stick around for a bit.” Her nails scrape up and down my arm and for the first time, I feel bile rise up in my throat.
I don’t understand the feeling because this has never happened before. But the look on her face seems like more than just seduction. It hides something behind it and I don’t think I want to find out.
“No. Actually I, uh…” I reach into my pocket and hold the key in my hand. “I came to hand in this and tell you this is the last time you’ll be seeing me.”
Her lips turn tight and I see the way her teeth gnash. “And why is that?” She stares at the key in my hand but does not move to grab it.
“Well, to be honest, I started seeing someone and it just feels wrong to be coming here. I want to be with this woman, more than anything, but somehow this feels like I’m cheating on her and I don’t like how that settles in my gut.”
She wraps her fingers around my hand, closing it and holding it tight, the key digging into my palm. The other hand rests on my cheek as her gaze burns mine.
“Oh baby. You don’t want that. You have stars in your eyes, but those will dim.
Especially when you find out she can’t give you what you need.
” Both hands begin clawing at my scalp and I have to close my eyes, too weak to pull away.
“I know you liked what we gave you. The three of us, fulfilling all of your trapped fantasies. Desires you didn’t even know were bubbling under the surface. ”
Her lips press against my neck, and her tongue licks my chilled flesh. She slides her hand under my shirt and dances her fingers over my stomach. I tense and tell myself she lies. I didn’t want those things before and I won’t need them after walking out of here.
“Sonja. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your club bu–”
“No buts,” she hisses in my ear. “Why don’t we go back to a room so I can remind you just how much you belong to me–here. Belong here.”
Her lips work across my jaw to mine, tempting them to let her in.
For a moment it works when I return her kiss, slow and sinful, and grip her plump ass in my fingers.
But then, behind my eyes, I see Valentina’s face with the sun shining down on her as we laid on the beach.
Her eyes literally sparkled under the bright rays, and I’d never seen her look so carefree.
My chest tightens and that feeling that I might vomit washes over me again. I grab her arms and pry her off of me. When her eyes narrow and blacken, the red lights reflecting in them, I see the real woman behind the mask.
“I can’t. Here.” I take her hand in mine and this time, place the key in her palm and roll it closed. “Good bye Sonja, and good luck to you.”
My legs move quickly to get me as far away from Lascivious as they can. The pounding of my heart can be heard over the roar of the engine, and sweat beads down my neck. I slam my fist against the steering wheel, already feeling the weight of what I did.
I was careless. All of this time that I’ve been “cleaning up my act”, has been nothing more than a heaping bowl of shit. A bowl I ate from, convincing myself that it was okay. How much longer would I have let that key sit in my pocket, tempting me to return just one more time?
I look at my wrist where the thin red bracelet sits, and rip off with my bare hand. The cotton thread pinches my skin until it finally breaks free. I roll down the window, toss the remnants out, and drive away from here, never looking back.