14. 14 Tori
14: Tori
Relief.
It’s strange how long it’s taken for the weight to finally start to lift from my chest. The van hums beneath me as we race toward some unknown destination. It's another strange car, another place I don't know where we're going, but at least this time, I have my guys.
They came for me.
I should be sleeping… resting, at least now that I'm in Thorne’s arms. But there’s a gnawing in the pit of my stomach that won’t let me be still. It’s this strange, buzzing feeling in my limbs. It can’t seem to stay quiet, even though I know it should.
I escaped.
Okay, fine.
I was rescued.
But my mind? It’s still back there, tied up in the things Nico did. The way Alicia betrayed me.
Somehow, that's the deepest wound.
She’d been my best friend. My only friend. My fucking family. And now? Now she’s… I don't know what she is.
She's been working with Nico all this time. Everything I did to keep her safe, everything I believed... it was for nothing. I don't even know what's real anymore. Was she ever in danger? Did she ever even need saving?
Fuck, it hurts.
There’s this bitter taste in my mouth when I think about it. Like I’ve been drinking saltwater for the last few days, and now it’s finally starting to catch up to me.
God. How could she do that to me?
I did everything. Everything I could. I risked my own life, my own body, to keep her safe, to protect her. And for what?
I feel this cold rush that burns through me, the pain spreading outward like fire. I can’t even bring myself to think about it too much. It’s too raw. Too painful. Too infuriating.
My head feels heavy and my eyes sting from the tears I refuse to let out again, because I hate letting my emotions win.
But despite all of this, I can’t help but find comfort in the guys. They’re all crowding me. Well, not crowding exactly, but they’re all just... there. All three of them. Each of them has their eyes locked on me, like they’re scared I’ll disappear if they blink.
I'm sitting on Thorne’s lap and he’s got his arms around me like I’m some kind of delicate porcelain doll. But honestly, I don’t mind. The fact that he’s holding me so tightly tells me he's not going to let anything happen to me. Not again.
Blaze is sitting next to me, leaning slightly forward, eyes scanning the road like he’s ready to react to anything. He doesn’t say much, but I can feel his presence next to me—warm, steady.
He’s with me.
He's alive and here.
And then there’s Ryder, who’s on the other side of Blaze, looking like he’s about two seconds away from sitting on Blaze's lap just to be closer to me. But I get the feeling he’s holding back, like he can’t get past everything that’s happened.
I mean… he's not cracking any jokes.
I don't recognize the two people in the front, but I don't pay them much attention. More like I can't. My brain is too overwhelmed to handle much of anything else.
“You know, it’s not fair,” Ryder mutters, breaking the silence and glancing over at Thorne. “You’ve had her the whole damn time, man. It’s my turn.”
Thorne doesn’t even look at him. “Not happening,” he grunts, his voice low but firm, the kind of tone that lets Ryder know he’s not even going to entertain the idea.
I can hear his deep voice vibrating in his chest. Feel the warmth of his skin around me beneath the fabric of his shirt. The thumping of his heart is calming against my ear as he cradles me even closer to his chest.
“Oh, come on, Thorne! You’ve been holding her for a while. It’s my turn,” Ryder insists, his voice laced with a childish whine. He looks over at me, his blue eyes big and wide. “I can at least give her a bit of a break from you. You’ve been all serious and broody.”
I've never seen Ryder like this, so desperate and unable to get what he wants. And I can’t help it. A laugh escapes my lips before I can stop it. It’s soft, almost a breath, but it feels so good to release something. Something besides all the pain and anger.
Blaze grins beside me, his lips curling into a soft smile. “You hear that, Thorne? She’s laughing at you.” His eyes gleam, somehow being the funny one. This is how I know things are off with them . “I think that means she’s done with your iron grip.”
Thorne’s jaw clenches, but there’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes. He doesn’t let me go, though. Not for a second. His gaze softens when it meets mine, like I'm something so precious to him he can't fathom letting me go.
There's a lot to unpack in those dark eyes.
“I’m not giving her over, Blaze,” Thorne says with a growl, his grip tightening around me even further—if that's even possible—though he softens it slightly when he sees me wince a little. “If I do, I swear to God, I’ll hunt Nico down right now, rip his dick off, and shove it so far up his ass he won’t even remember his own name.”
I freeze, feeling the rage radiating off him as he stares down at the shirt hanging loosely from my body. My mind finally starts working again and I realize what they must think.
I mean, you are wearing his shirt with no underwear, Tori. Of course they think something happened.
I press my hand against Thorne’s chest, trying to get his attention again. “Thorne,” I start, my voice shaking a little more than I mean it to. “I wasn’t... I wasn’t raped, okay?”
The words fall from my mouth, feeling odd and foreign. It might not have happened, but it was close. Closer than I'd like to admit. For a second, everything goes still. The guys stop teasing one another, all of them turning their attention to me. Their eyes are on me like they’re trying to read my every thought.
Thorne’s brow furrows as he stares at me, his expression hard, almost unreadable. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he says quietly, but I can see the tension in his eyes ease ever so slightly.
“No, I do,” I reply quickly, trying to steady my breath. “I need you to understand. Nico didn’t... he didn’t get that far.”
Although he was fucking close.
The silence in the van grows thicker. Ryder blinks, processing what I just said, his face so serious, so soft, I can't even tell it's Ryder. “You're not lying to make us feel better, are you? Because you know you don't have to do that. If he so much as touched you—”
“I’m not lying,” I say firmly, my voice more certain now. “Nothing like that happened. He’s a sick fuck, but he didn’t... he didn't do that .”
They all look at me, and for the first time, I can see the weight of their concern shifting from guilt to relief. Thorne’s grip softens around me just a fraction.
“Good,” he murmurs, leaning his head against mine for a second. “Just needed to hear that. But know that I'm still going to kill him for ever taking you from us.”
“Is it a gang bang if the three of us kill him together?” Ryder muses with that beautiful smirk on his face, the one I've missed more than I care to admit.
God, I've needed them all so fucking much.
They make me feel whole again. Safe again. I'm not exactly sure when my monsters turned into my saviors, but they did.
“You're such an idiot,” Blaze responds, shaking his head almost in disappointment, but there's that twitch of his lips again that says he found it funny even if he doesn't want to admit it.
The van jerks, and I glance out the window, taking in the massive mansion coming into view before us. The place is a stark contrast to the dank asylum. The reality of being here, being free, is almost surreal.
“Where are we?” I ask, my voice a little rough, not sure what I’m even expecting as the van pulls up and the door slides open.
“We had to call in some old friends to help,” Ryder answers, gesturing with his chin toward the front where the two that sat silently throughout the ride are now exiting the vehicle. “As I'm sure you're wondering who was driving. That up there is Rick, and beside him is Marisol. But this is Keagan's house. I think you saw him. The crazy one shooting guns out of the back of a pickup earlier.”
I can’t help but laugh at the idea. A lunatic like that owning a place like this? “Seriously? This is his place?”
Ryder chuckles, shaking his head as he climbs out of the van, never taking his eyes off me. “I know. We were just as surprised.”
I’m still lost in my thoughts when Thorne shifts his arms around me to better carry me out of the van. His breath is warm against my ear as he murmurs, “Let’s get you inside, Vic.” He doesn’t wait for a response before carrying me toward the mansion’s front door.
But Ryder’s not done. He's reaching out, wanting to take his turn. When Thorne ignores him, Ryder mutters, “asshole,” his voice low but teasing. He’s joking, but there’s something else there. He's desperate, and he's starting to get annoyed. Thorne just grunts, ignoring him as he brushes past with me in his arms.
When Nico took me, I'd just started letting these three in, allowing myself to fall for them. Being away has only intensified those feelings.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that shit.
And now that we're all together again, there's this overwhelming need, something so strong it's pushing everything else back. It's like I'm suffocating and they're my oxygen. They're the only things keeping me going.
We enter the mansion, the door closing behind us with a soft thud. And then Thorne is racing me upstairs—to what I'm assuming is his room here—with Ryder and Blaze following close behind. When we enter and Thorne places me on my feet, he tries to shut the door, only to have Blaze and Ryder barge in.
“What do you think you're doing?” Thorne's voice is laced with irritation, his hand hovering close to mine, needing some part of himself to still be touching me.
“You can’t hoard her, Thorne. We've all missed her. We all need her,” Blaze responds with a serious look in his eyes but a calm tone.
“We're not going to fight over her. She's been through enough hell. So deal with us being here, ‘cause we're not going anywhere,” Ryder is quick to add, marching right up to Thorne.
Thorne's jaw is so tense I wonder if he hasn't cracked a tooth. After a while, his eyes meet mine, softening every part of him. “Fine,” he mutters begrudgingly, but it's enough to give Ryder what he's looking for.
Ryder doesn’t wait another second. He’s right by my side in two seconds flat, his hands cupping my face, his lips crashing into mine with a desperation I haven’t felt before.
No, that's a lie.
I kissed him this very way after he'd been shot.
I had been scared I was going to lose him. And maybe that's how Ryder had felt this whole time. How all of them felt while I was gone.
His kiss is rough, hungry—almost frantic. I can feel his need in the way he holds me, his fingers digging into my skin as if he’s afraid he’ll lose me again.
I feel it, too.
I'm starved for this. For him. For them.
“I couldn’t fucking stand it,” Ryder breathes, his voice harsh as he pulls back just enough to look at me. His eyes are wild, filled with that unrelenting hunger. “Not having you by me. I’ve needed you.”
I reach for him, tugging him back into the kiss, letting the hunger grow between us. It’s a hard feeling to describe, but it’s almost as if a very important part of me had been missing this entire time and I just found it again.
Blaze steps forward then, moving slowly, as if he’s afraid he'll frighten me. His hands slide around my waist, pulling me away from Ryder and into him next as he leans down, brushing his lips against my neck. “We can't live without you, Doll. You're everything we need,” he whispers, his voice a low rumble that makes my whole body tremble.
They’ve missed me just as much as I’ve missed them.
“And I need you,” I whisper back, my voice thick with emotion. “All of you.”
That’s all it takes. The tension snaps, Thorne strides over, and bam. Suddenly, all three of them have their hands everywhere on me—pulling me closer, kissing me all over like they can’t get enough. They’re not gentle now. They’re not holding back. They’re taking me. And despite everything that's happened, it's exactly what I need.
One ticket to ecstasy land, please. I need this fantasy to come true.
The three of them are filling a hole in my chest I didn't even realize was there. A hole in the shape of them.
Thorne squeezes his way in between Ryder and me, his hands shaking slightly as he starts to undress me slowly, pulling on the fabric of this shirt.
I'm burning it the first chance I get.
My arms lift as he guides it over my head, eyes glued to my own. “I need to feel you in my arms again, Vic. All of you.”
Ryder’s hands are already moving over my body, brushing over my curves as though he’s learning me all over again. He kisses my neck, his lips hot against my skin. “I can’t believe you’re here,” he says softly. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”
Blaze’s hands find their way to my back, pulling me into him, his lips finding mine in a kiss that’s all-consuming. “You’re ours, Tori,” he says between kisses. “And we’re not letting you go again.”
I don’t want them to.
I don’t want any of them to let go. Not now. Not ever. But then, as if they've all discovered it at the same time, they freeze. Blaze's lips touch the corner of the curved N, while Ryder's fingers skim the edges and Thorne’s eyes land right on it.
The brand.
How could I forget?
I try to pull away, but it’s too late. Their intimidating auras are suddenly so heavy, my knees are buckling under the pressure. There’s an immediate shift in the way they look at me. I feel the warmth of their hands turn into something darker, more dangerous, as the silence stretches on. They're so much scarier like this, and I think I like it.
You should be petrified, not turned on by it, Tori.
“Did he do this to you?” Blaze’s voice is low, almost a growl, his hand now trembling as he gently grazes over the mark, his knuckles brushing the skin like he’s afraid to touch it too hard, but it’s clear he wants to tear it off. The fury in his eyes could incinerate a new mark on my skin.
“It had to be him, right?” Ryder’s voice is a mix of disbelief and disgust, his face flushed with anger as he stares at the brand. His hands are shaking, like he’s ready to punch something. His eyes flick to mine, searching for an answer, but his voice cracks. “Was it him?”
Thorne doesn’t say anything at first. He just stares at the mark like it’s some kind of poison he's choking on, his expression darkening with every passing second. When he finally speaks, his voice is so tight, so controlled, that it’s terrifying.
“Answer us, Vic. Did he do this to you?” The words are thick with rage, like he’s forcing them out through clenched teeth.
This isn't the Thorne I know.
This is the monster he became in my absence.
I shrink back, pulling my body away from their hands instinctively. I try to avoid their eyes, to hide the shame I feel, but I can’t. It’s like their gazes are burning through me, tearing through the walls I'm trying to build. They're trying to get to the truth I’m so terrified to say out loud.
“Please,” I whisper, my voice small. “I don’t want to talk about it today. Can we just... pretend it’s not there? Just for now?” I muster the courage to look them in the eye, show them how badly I need this right now.
Just stop talking and hold me.
Take me. Kiss me. Feel me.
Just don't talk about him.
Don't mention him.
Forget Nico.
I plead all my thoughts, hoping one of them picks up on it. They're all so still, their anger turning to something softer, something more protective. The fire in their eyes dims, each of them trying to figure out whether to keep pushing or to back off. They’re all still burning with rage, but they concede.
Blaze is the first to soften, his hand slowly moving away from the mark. He looks at me for a long moment, like he’s weighing everything I’ve just said. His expression tightens slightly, but he nods. “We’ll deal with it later,” he murmurs, his voice rough, as if the words physically hurt him to say them.
Ryder doesn’t speak at first, but I can see the way he’s breathing too fast, his chest rising and falling to an odd rhythm as he tries to hold back. He runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “I don’t know what to say, KitKat. I don’t know that I can do that.”
I look at him, then at Thorne, and finally back to Blaze. “I know you’re angry,” I say quietly, trying to steady my breathing, but my heart is racing. “And I’ll tell you everything, I swear. Just... not right now.”
Thorne’s eyes burn with something dark and protective as he holds my gaze. He exhales sharply, like he’s fighting to keep himself together. His hand brushes my arm, and his voice comes out low, almost rough. “We’re not letting this go, Tori. For now, we'll do what you want. Honestly, we'd do anything you asked of us right now.”
Anything, you say?
Cue a wicked smirk and dirty thoughts.
Ryder shifts uncomfortably, his usual bravado nowhere to be found. He bites his lip, trying to steady himself. “Just remember, KitKat... you don’t have to carry this shit alone. We’re here.” His eyes are intense, and I can see the conflict in him—he wants to lash out, but he’s trying to hold back for me.
Blaze watches the exchange between us, his face still unreadable, but his anger has settled a little. His voice is quieter now, steady, but there’s still an edge to it. “We won’t let this slide, Doll. Not ever. But... you don’t have to talk about it right now.” His hand brushes mine and his touch is firm, reassuring. “We’ve got a lot of shit to figure out, but it starts with you being okay.”
Blaze’s hand lingers for a moment before pulling away, the weight of his words draping over me like one of those shock blankets they put over trauma victims.
I'm one of those.
Although, I guess I've always been one of those.
But the quiet doesn’t last long, as Thorne’s presence shifts, and before I can fully process, his lips are on mine, claiming me with a heat that steals my breath.
His hands slide down my sides, his fingers grazing the curve of my waist as he pulls my fully naked body closer. I can feel the heat of him against mine. His touch is firm, possessive, as though he can’t get enough of me.
Ryder is beside me next, tracing the edge of my collarbone with his fingers, feeling the rapid beat of my pulse beneath his touch before his hands move down to my chest. He brushes his thumb over the swell of my breast, and the sensation sends a shock of pleasure through me, making my body tremble in response.
This is how it should feel, not like it felt when Ni—
Don't you dare finish that sentence, Tori. We're not thinking about him.
Blaze stands behind me, his chest pressing against my back as he wraps his arms around my torso, his lips moving over my neck with a low growl of satisfaction. One of his hands slides down my free side, brushing down my body and then against the curve of my thigh, his fingers skimming the sensitive skin of my inner leg. He moves slowly, deliberately, like he’s savoring every inch of me.
Thorne lets my lips go and Ryder leans in, his mouth finding mine in a searing kiss that makes my head spin. He tastes like honey, his tongue slipping past my lips, exploring me with a newfound appreciation. He kisses me like he, too, can't get enough, his fingers tangling in my hair as his body presses against my side.
Blaze's lips are on my neck still, his hands firm on my waist while Thorne drops to his knees, his breath hot against my skin. His mouth is everywhere along my thighs, his lips and tongue tracing the contours of my body, the sensation making me weak in the knees.
This is it, Tori. Your fantasy. The one you were imagining before all hell broke loose.
Holy shit! It's happening.
The guys are all touching me at the same time, their hands moving over me, their lips claiming me. It's overwhelming, and I find myself gasping for air, needing it all and more.
Am I nervous right now?
The moment Thorne's tongue licks my way-too-horny pussy, all my inhibitions fade, thrown to the back of my mind and locked away.
You stay there until I'm done.
"I've missed your taste so fucking much," Thorne groans as he dives in again.
"I bet you're so goddamn wet," Ryder hisses, his lips hovering near my ear.
My entire body trembles at their touches, sending waves of pure lust washing over me.
"Bed," Blaze murmurs against my skin. A singular word that commands us all. Ryder and Thorne extract themselves from me as Blaze leads me to the bed from behind. The mattress dips beneath my weight when Blaze turns me and pushes me onto it, his eyes roaming over my body, eating every inch of me up with his gaze.
I watch as they shed their clothes, their bodies strong, the muscles of their arms and shoulders rippling with every movement. I admire their bodies, paying close attention to their scars.
The way they've risked their lives to save me, to protect me. Ryder's bullet wound, Blaze's slice that runs across his abdomen, and now Thorne has his own war wound, stitched closed on his shoulder.
They're all here.
They're all mine.
And we're all about to fuck. Holy shit!