Chapter 23
His admission left a bitter taste in my mouth. He had kept this from me. It was like a punch to the gut.
I stood there in silence, grappling with this new information. He looked at me and I could see the regret in his eyes, but it didn’t make it any better. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I finally asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
He ran a hand through his hair, the cool confidence he usually wore like armor was nowhere to be seen. “I wanted to but I didn’t know how.” His eyes pleaded for understanding. “I didn’t want to scare you away.”
His words echoed in my head, adding to the cacophony of thoughts already swirling around. I tried to make sense of it all, but I felt numb and disoriented. Could I trust him after this? Should I?
“I’m not some porcelain doll. You didn’t need to protect me from the truth,” I retorted, anger creeping into my voice.
The party had started off with such promise. Laughter, music, and the hope we could make some connections had momentarily swept me away from my worries. But now, Archer’s confession had changed everything.
“I guess that explains all the time you had to read self-help books?” My voice wavered as I spoke, betraying the turmoil raging within me.
“Mary Ellen, I—” Archer’s voice faltered, his words cut off by my abrupt interruption.
“Please don’t,” I pleaded, my heart pounding in my chest. “You should have told me. Now I don’t know who you are. And we just…” I trailed off, unable to voice the shame and confusion I felt.
I had just given him my virginity. His eyes widened at my half-spoken confession.
“Mary Ellen,” he said and tried to grab one of my hands.
“Don’t,” I said with a shake of my head. “I can’t. I gave you something that was incredibly precious to me. You took it knowing you were being dishonest. How could you?”
“It’s not like that,” he said.
I quickly turned on my heel, my vision blurred with unshed tears. I felt exposed and foolish, my judgment clouded by desire and na?vety.
“I need to leave,” I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper.
But Archer refused to let me go without a fight. “Wait,” he said as he hurried after me.
I kept going with Archer on my heels. As we made our way through the crowd, I felt the curious stares and heard the whispers. Humiliation washed over me.
“Mary Ellen, it’s not what you’re thinking,” he said as he caught up with me. “It was just gambling. I didn’t really do anything bad. It was nothing violent or all that illegal. I would never hurt you or anyone else!”
But his words barely registered in my mind. The trust between us had been shattered, and all I could think of was the need to escape, to find some solitude to think and get my thoughts in order.
“Leave me alone,” I said.
“Mary Ellen!” Archer’s voice called out behind me just as I pushed open the massive front doors. My heart pounded against my chest as I continued forward, wanting to put as much distance between us as possible. It was only then I remembered I didn’t drive. We were in some fancy neighborhood where cabs wouldn’t be readily available.
“Archer,” I heard a man say. “Let her go.”
I glanced back and saw Murray grab his brother’s arm. I hoped he listened. Archer reluctantly stopped following me. My cheeks were burning with shame.
I saw the valet notice me. “Ma’am?” he said.
“I’m fine.” I waved him off and walked down the driveway.
Once I was away from the party, the gravity of my situation slammed into me. I was miles away from home with no way to get back. A cab would cost me a small fortune. Now that I pretty much exploded any hope of the fundraiser, I knew I was going to lose the library and, ultimately, my job. I couldn’t afford to be spending a bunch of money on a taxi.
I fished my phone out of my purse. Rylee was working a late shift at the bar. I called Karen. When it went to voicemail, I texted her nine-one-one.
Unfortunately, Karen was nowhere to be found. Desperation clawed at my chest as I dialed Lauren’s number, praying she would pick up. I paced back and forth in front of the gate that sealed the neighborhood away from the rest of the world.
“Hello?” Lauren’s voice was bright and cheery.
“I need you to come pick me up, Lauren,” I blurted out, my words rushed and breathless. “Please hurry.”
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, followed by a soft sigh. “What’s going on? Where are you?”
I could hear the concern in her voice. “I’m fine. Not fine, but not hurt. I’ll send you a pin drop with my location. I just really need to get out of here.”
“Of course, Mary Ellen. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Relief flooded through me. I ended the call, knowing that help was on the way. I stood alone in the darkness, waiting for rescue and tried to make sense of everything I learned. I couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal.
Archer had shattered the illusion of who I thought he was. I couldn’t help but wonder if our fleeting moment of passion had been nothing more than a cruel deception. I knew there were guys that got pretty excited about fucking a virgin. Maybe that was all this was.
When I told him I was a virgin, he decided he was going to be my first. I couldn’t believe I had been so irrational. I was never irrational. I always played it safe. Something about him shook my normal ways. Why? Why did I let him in?
My feet were killing me in the heels. I sat on the curb, not caring that I was getting my dress dirty. The dress was another waste of time. I was glad I hadn’t wasted the money on it but I felt guilty that Jameson bought the damn thing. I only got to wear it for an hour, if that.
I was never going to live this down. I waited so long to fall for a guy, and when I finally did, it was the wrong one. What was wrong with me? Why did this keep happening?
Tears began to fall. The one time I wore mascara and now it was going to be streaking down my cheeks. My heart felt as if it was being prodded by a thousand tiny needles. I pulled my knees to my chest, hugging them tightly while trying to keep my sobs silent.
The headlights of Lauren’s car illuminated the darkness as it pulled up beside me. I quickly got up, assuming I would get into the front seat. My heart sank when I saw Jameson behind the wheel.
“Hey, Mary Ellen,” Lauren called out as she stepped out of the car, her expression apologetic. “I’m sorry Jameson’s here. I would have come alone, but I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine and couldn’t drive.”
I forced a smile, grateful for her presence despite my disappointment. “It’s okay, Lauren. Thank you for coming to get me.”
As I climbed into the backseat and buckled myself in, Jameson turned to look at me. “What happened, Mary Ellen? Are you okay?”
I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the conversation ahead. “I’m fine.”
Lauren twisted around in her seat. “You are not fine. What happened?”
“He’s not who I thought he was.”
Lauren shot Jameson a quick glance before focusing her attention back on me. “What do you mean, Mary Ellen?”
I closed my eyes, the memories of Archer’s confession flooding back with painful clarity. “He’s an ex-con,” I confessed, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “He didn’t tell me until tonight. And now I don’t know what to do.”
There was a heavy silence in the car as my words sank in. Jameson’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. I could feel his eyes on me in the rearview mirror.
“An ex-con?” Lauren repeated.
“You were right when you told me to be careful,” I admitted, meeting Jameson’s gaze in the reflection. “I let myself get swept up in something I didn’t fully understand. And now I’m paying the price.”
Jameson cursed under his breath. “Mary Ellen, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I wish I could have protected you from this.”
I shook my head, tears threatening to spill over. “It’s not your fault, Jameson. I made the mistake of trusting someone I barely knew. I just thought he was different.”
“You deserve better, Mary Ellen,” Lauren said firmly. “And we’re here for you, no matter what.”
I nodded, grateful, but the pain was still too fresh, the wound too deep. I leaned my head against the cool window and watched as the luxury neighborhood disappeared behind us.
“What did he do?” Lauren asked.
“What?”
“You said he was an ex-con. What was he in for?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask. Although when I was leaving the party, I think he said he was a gambler. I’m not sure. I was only thinking about getting out of there. It was humiliating.”
“He decided to tell you he was an ex-con at a party?” Jameson asked.
“No. His mother spilled the beans. I got the feeling there was a lot of family drama. She said something like she was glad he found a good girl. Honestly, I don’t even remember it all. I kind of went blank when she said he was better looking before he went to prison and tried to look like his buddies.”
“Holy shit,” Lauren said. “I thought you were calling to tell me he loved the dress.”
“He did love the dress,” I muttered under my breath.
I wasn’t about to tell her about my sexual encounter with Jameson in the car.
Lauren’s laughter bubbled out. “Well, at least he has good taste.”
Jameson snorted in amusement. “Forgive her,” Jameson said. “We were in the hot tub, and she had a few glasses of wine.”
“I’m sorry,” Lauren said, wiping at her eyes. “I’m sorry the guy was a jerk. But I’m glad you found out before things got too far gone.”
I didn’t say anything the rest of the ride home. They stopped in front of my house and offered to go inside with me, but I didn’t want to ruin their night any more than I already had.
“I’m fine,” I said. “You guys go home and enjoy your night. I’m just going to go to bed.”
“Are you sure?” Lauren asked.
“Yes. I just want to crawl into bed and forget this night happened.”
“Alright,” Lauren said. “If you need anything, just call us, okay?”
“I will,” I promised, stepping out of the car and making my way to my front door.
“We love you, Mary Ellen,” Lauren called out from the car. “Goodnight.”
I opened the door and waved, letting them know I was in safe. Jameson honked once before driving away. I closed the door and leaned my head against it before I went to my room to wallow in misery.