Chapter 27
As Archer rode away, a whirlwind of emotions consumed me. The ache in my chest was overwhelming, a mixture of anger, disappointment, and heartbreak. Part of me wanted to run after him, to tell him that I forgave him and that we could work through this together. But another part of me, a part hardened by betrayal, knew that some wounds ran too deep to heal.
If he hid that from me, what else was he hiding? Did he have an ex-wife? Kids? These were all questions I didn’t ask because I just assumed those major life events would come up in conversation. But now, I had no idea. I didn’t know the man at all. I knew a tiny bit about him and that was the part I let myself fall for.
I sank into a chair and gave myself a minute to just feel shitty. I’d heard Archer’s explanation, but I didn’t know how to process it. For now, I wanted to hang out in denial and do my best not to think about him. I got up from the chair and walked back to the cart loaded with books that needed to be put back.
I carefully placed the books back on the shelf, my movements slow and deliberate as I tried to steady my racing heart. Despite my best intentions not to think about him, I did. Gambling didn’t really seem like a big deal but there was something about the way he had hidden it from me that stung the most. The lack of trust. The secrecy. It felt like a betrayal even though he had come clean in the end. I had given the man my virginity. I told him one of my biggest secrets. That night at his house, he could have told me then. He didn’t. It felt very shady.
I shook my head, trying to dispel the thoughts swirling in my mind. I couldn’t dwell on what could have been. It was clear that we were from two different worlds, and maybe it was for the best that I found out before our relationship progressed any further.
I pushed my cart down the row, picked up a few books, and was about to slide them on the shelf when the woman in her fancy dress suit appeared. She startled me, nearly making me lose all my books again. Thankfully, I managed to hold on to them.
“What were you doing talking to him?” Her shrill voice cut through the silence, making me want to step away from her.
“Excuse me?”
“That guy that was just in here,” she sneered. “The tats and the leather.”
I hesitated, unsure how to respond. “He comes here to read sometimes,” I offered lamely. I wasn’t sure what she was asking. It was a library. People came to the library to read. People of all walks of life.
“Read?” The woman scoffed, her disbelief palpable. “Him?”
I frowned, puzzled by the woman’s obvious disdain for Archer. “Do you know him?” I asked.
But instead of answering my question, the woman flipped her long ponytail and dismissed my question with a wave of her hand. “A guy like that doesn’t belong in a place like this,” she declared, her tone final and unwavering.
I was confused. Did she think she was the keeper of the library that she was trying to tear down? Did she crown herself queen of the books? But in a weird way, I did agree with her. I didn’t want Archer to come back to the library. I couldn’t get over him if I had to constantly see him. He needed to be out of sight and out of mind.
“I see,” I murmured.
She looked me up and down. “I’m Samantha Hunt by the way.”
“Mary Ellen.”
“Are you still hanging up those signs?” she asked.
“Signs?”
“Yes, to save the library,” she said with an amused look.
“You think it’s pointless?”
She smiled. “I think it’s already a done deal. The building is going to happen. I read there are something like thirty libraries in Dallas. I don’t think anyone is going to miss this one. It hasn’t been updated in forever. Clearly, no one cares.”
I bristled at Samantha’s dismissive attitude toward the library. To me, this old building held so much history and importance. People were less inclined to visit a library if they had to travel miles to do so. I didn’t understand how she could be so callous about its impending demise.
“Well, I care,” I retorted, my voice stronger than I had expected. “This library has been important to this community for generations. Yes, it’s old, but that’s because it continuously gets looked over for additional funding. It’s not like the ceiling is caving in.”
She smirked. “Yet.”
“It’s held up just fine for a long time.”
“I’ve already put a deposit on the penthouse suite on the thirtieth floor.” Samantha smiled. “I’ve already got most of the fixtures and flooring picked out. I found a beautiful giant soaker tub for the master bath. It will have stunning views of the city and I will have a private elevator. I just convinced the architect to include a water feature in the lobby of the building. They are so soothing and just bring peace to a space, don’t you think?”
I struggled to maintain a semblance of composure as Samantha continued to boast about her extravagant penthouse suite. Her insensitivity toward the fate of the library grated on my nerves, and the way she flaunted her wealth only added to my disdain for her. But I knew I had to keep my cool, at least until I could make my exit.
“That sounds lovely,” I forced out, plastering a fake smile on my face. “I’m glad you’ll benefit from the destruction of our library and the ending of my job.”
“Maybe you should consider renting or buying one of the smaller units in the building.” She shrugged. “I mean if you love this area so much, you can find another job. That coffee shop you sent me to might hire you.”
“Maybe,” I managed to reply, forcing a polite smile despite the anger boiling my blood. It made me furious. She was going to destroy my good job so she could have a soaker tub in her penthouse. Never mind there were plenty of other residential buildings she could move her ass into. She wanted my library. She wanted my little neighborhood.
As Samantha prattled on about her luxurious penthouse plans, I felt a surge of determination. I couldn’t let her bulldoze the library because she wanted a shiny new penthouse. I couldn’t stand by and watch it be torn down without a fight. Although the one little speck of hope I had to save the library walked right out the door with Archer.
“I would think this neighborhood would be unappealing for someone like you,” I said sweetly. “It doesn’t have the amenities I imagine you’re used to.”
Samantha’s eyes narrowed as she studied me. “Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong, Mary Ellen,” she purred, her voice taking on a sinister edge. “This neighborhood may lack certain luxuries, but it has something far more valuable—potential.”
“Potential?”
“You see, Mary Ellen, I have big plans for this area. Plans that extend far beyond my penthouse suite.”
“You plan on razing all the homes and businesses to make way for your luxuries,” I stated with a hint of disgust.
“Not right away, but this building will be just the start.” She smiled. “It will take years to get to what we want, but for now, the building itself will provide most of the needs the residents might have. They won’t have to venture out for much of anything if they don’t want to.”
“But what about the people who already live here? The families who have called this neighborhood home for generations? What about the small businesses that rely on the locals to stay afloat?”
Samantha waved a manicured hand dismissively. “Oh, they’ll adapt. Change is inevitable, Mary Ellen. Progress requires sacrifice.”
I clenched my fists at my sides, righteous anger building within me. Samantha’s callous attitude toward the community made my blood boil. Her statement about change reminded me of Archer. He said the same thing. So far, the change he had on me wasn’t working out so well.
“So they say,” I muttered.
“I better get back out there.” She smiled. “My father’s associates need a little hand-holding. I’ll be seeing you around again, I’m sure.”
“Yes, I’m sure you will,” I said in a tight voice.
“Don’t work too hard with your little books in here,” she added with a teasing tone.
I forced a laugh. My work at the library may not be glamorous, but it was meaningful to me. It was a place of refuge, a sanctuary where I could lose myself in the world of books and forget about the harsh realities of life, if only for a little while. I should have known she was the daughter of the man intent on destroying the library. It pissed me off. I wasn’t the type of person to ever really get mad. But as Samantha sauntered out of the library, leaving a trail of expensive perfume in her wake, I knew that I couldn’t sit idly by and watch her plans unfold. Even if I didn’t have Archer’s help, I was going to fight.
I went back to putting away books, wiping down the shelves as I did. I moved over to the next row and noticed a spot in the worn carpet that was fraying. Usually, I just put a little duct tape over the area to keep it from getting worse. But now, I stared at the spot and wondered why I should even bother.
The worn carpet suddenly seemed to symbolize the state of the library itself—fraying, neglected, and in desperate need of repair. I stood up, leaving the books half-arranged on the shelf, and walked over to the frayed spot. I knelt and ran my fingers along the rough edges. Why was I so damn set on working at this particular library?
I was only causing myself more stress and grief. I should just walk away.
The thought of standing by or actually participating in dismantling the shelves and boxing up books was devastating. There was nothing that said I had to be a part of it. I should walk away and start looking for a new job.
I was looking for a house based on my salary now. There was nothing to say I was going to be making the same money in a month. I might find myself making significantly less and unable to contribute to the rent. We had turned down the first house we looked at, but we were still searching for something in our price range.
I didn’t even know what my price range was going to be. My life was in flux.
I got up and went back to my duties. For now, I would go through the motions, but I could see the writing on the wall. I needed to look to the future. That big C word came to mind. Change.
Life was all about change. My life was going to get plenty of it soon. I could embrace it and move forward or kick, scream, and fight the inevitable.