15. Chapter 15
Chapter 15
Lis
F or the rest of the wedding and all day on Sunday, I replay Spencer’s words over and over.
You didn’t say yes. So I guess we’ll never know.
Had he wanted me to say yes? The idea is absolutely insane. But, though he’d tried to play it off like a quip, he hadn’t been able to keep that edge of sadness out of his voice.
I hadn’t said yes. But I hadn’t said no, either. If I’m going to be honest with myself, there had been a part of me that wanted to say yes. Throw caution to the wind and figure it out later. But then, I’d thought we’d have time.
I shake myself out of my thoughts Monday morning as I finish dressing and gathering what I’ll need. When I head into the living room, Daze is just putting on her jacket to head out to work.
“So, you’re taking Spencer to visit Mom and Dad today?”
“No. I’m taking him hiking in Golden Ears. We’re also stopping by Mom and Dad’s because I’ll be out there.”
She snorts. “Whatever you need to tell yourself. You staying out there for dinner?”
“Of course I am. I’ve already talked to Mom. I’m making beef and broccoli.”
“Right.”
“Spencer and I are just friends.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Ugh. Go away. Go do something productive.”
Daze smiles and kisses my cheek. “Have fun with your friend .”
Then she leaves. I say goodbye to Sophie and Cerberus and I drive over to Spencer’s house. He meets us downstairs in just a couple of minutes. I’d given him his hoodie back on Sunday and he’s wearing it now. I haven’t actually seen him wear it before. He’s always given it to me to wear.
The fabric stretches over his strong shoulders and his hands are shoved into the front pocket. He looks so comfortable and I admit, I want the sweater back. Especially now that it’ll smell like him again.
He slides into the passenger seat with a smile. “Hey. I figured, if it’s an easy hike, jeans would be okay. I didn’t really want to wear sweatpants to your parents’ house.”
“Jeans are fine. Though my parents wouldn’t care if you wore sweatpants.”
I pull into traffic and start the long journey out to Maple Ridge. Thankfully, rush hour is in the opposite direction from what we’re travelling, so once we get onto the highway, it’s a pretty fast drive.
We talk about movies and future hiking adventures. I staunchly refuse to hike the Grouse Grind with him next week, telling him I’ll only do it with him if he runs the Seawall with me. He pouts, but lets it go. We pass my parents’ street and I point it out, continuing on to Golden Ears Park. It’s actually quite a drive to get into the park.
“You can go camping here?” Spencer asks as we pass the signs that point to the campgrounds.
“Yeah, but it fills up pretty fast. We went a few times when we were kids. And Daze and Sophie like to camp. If they’re close enough, I visit them for a day.”
“Not a camping person?” he asks with a smile.
“I like sleeping in a bed. If I had an RV, maybe. But I’m not sleeping on the ground.”
He laughs. “Fair.”
“Though camping cooking does present a fun challenge.”
“I’m certain you make gourmet meals, even when camping.”
I flash him a smile as I slow to cross a rickety, single-lane bridge. “Of course I do.”
Just after the bridge, I turn into a parking lot and we get out. Cerberus hops out, wiggling his excitement as he sniffs the air and then starts in a random direction.
I laugh, catching him and clipping his leash to his harness.
“Excuse me, sir. Just where do you think you’re going?”
Spencer and I put our things in the trunk.
“I have to confess. It’s not really much of a hike. More like a walk. But it’s one of Cerberus’ favourites.”
He grins at me and I just stare at him, lost for a moment in that captivating smile.
“No problem. Anything for the guardian of the gates of the Underworld. So you grew up in Maple Ridge?”
“Yeah. My parents still live in the same house I grew up in.”
“Why did you move to Vancouver?”
“For school, initially. I went to the Pacific Institute of Culinary Arts. After I graduated, I went to work at a restaurant in Burnaby for a while. But then it ended kind of badly, and Daze was already living in Vancouver so I moved in with her and found a new job in Vancouver. I can’t imagine living anywhere else now.”
Cerberus stops to sniff a tree stump on the side of the path for a moment before we continued.
“Was it always a dream to live and work in Vancouver?”
“No. The original dream was to open my own place somewhere. Probably not in Vancouver since it’s so expensive. But,” I shrug. “Dreams change.”
“Why did yours?”
“The business side doesn’t appeal to me. I just want to cook. Blue Vista is almost my ultimate dream job. To be in charge of my own kitchen. The only thing that would make it perfect would be to have creative control over the menu. But I figure, if I prove myself on this menu, I can convince Vic to let me have more control in the future.”
As we walk, he asks me about what kinds of things I would change on the menu and I tell him some of my favourite things I’ve created like the smoked salmon croquettes and a braised chicken that my mom loves.
After a while he groans. “Stop. You’re making me hungry.”
I smile and pull a granola bar from my pocket, handing it to him.
He bursts out laughing.
“Feeding people is my love language,” I say.
He just laughs harder. Eventually, he says, “I don’t think this is going to cut it. I want to try some of those things you were talking about. But I’ll wait.”
I slide the granola bar back into my pocket. “Enough about me and my dreams. What’s yours?”
“I’m living it,” he says. “I have amazing friends. I love my job. I live in an awesome apartment. What more could I want?”
“So that’s it? You wouldn’t change anything?”
He’s silent for a few minutes and I let him think about my question.
“Maybe. I don’t know. Vic’s talking about expanding and if she does, I’ll probably take on more responsibility. But the four of us discuss all that quarterly. I guess I’ve just been living my life one moment at a time.”
He falls silent again and I can see he’s thinking.
“I never really thought about it before,” he finally says. He’s looking ahead, but I know he’s not really seeing the trees or the path we’re walking. “I honestly love my job. I don’t think I want to do anything else. If we decide to expand Blue Vista and I get more responsibility, that would be fine. But I’m not looking for more there.”
“You say that like you might be looking for more somewhere else in your life.”
“I guess.” He hesitates.
“It’s okay to want more, Spencer. You can be happy in your life and still want more from it.”
He glances at me and the look in his eye has me wondering what he’s thinking.
“Can I think about it and get back to you?”
I almost want to laugh at the question. “It’s your dream, Spencer. You don’t need to tell me what it is. You just need to figure it out for yourself.”
“I want to tell you.” Then he pulls up his signature grin, blinding me with the brightness. “You’ve just thrown me into an existential crisis here, woman. You deserve to know the outcome.”