23. Chapter 23
Chapter 23
Lis
T he rest of the night flies by in a blur. The feeling of that kiss lingers on my lips the whole time. Tina and I get the desserts out and onto the trolley. Spencer arrives as I’d requested—a request that was supposed to just give him a legitimate reason to leave the party and escape Annie. Once dessert is delivered, we clean up and do some prep for the dinner tomorrow. I double and triple check everything, filled with a nervous energy I don’t exactly understand.
His whispered words come back to me almost as frequently as that kiss. He’d been teasing me. Of course he’d been teasing. He couldn’t possibly have meant it the way Westley meant it.
I’m the last one in the kitchen, scrubbing a spot that doesn’t need to be cleaned as the kiss and his words play on an endless loop in my brain.
“You know, I’m pretty sure you can’t scrub the counter away.”
I jump at his voice and turn. Then, I chuck the rag into the bin where we keep our soiled laundry.
“You all done for tonight?” I ask.
“Yep. Heading home. It’s a nice night. Want to walk together?”
I hesitate. Do I want to be alone with him while those words are still circling my thoughts like sharks? While wearing his hoodie, which I’ve long since stopped trying to give back to him. He always just puts it right back on me, anyway.
But it is a lovely night and we’ve had a week straight of rain, so eventually, I say, “Sure. Just give me a few minutes to get changed.”
I retreat to my office and quickly change out of my chef jacket and pants and back into leggings and a t-shirt. I take the clip out of my hair, letting it down and running my fingers through it to ease the tension in my scalp. Then I pull on his sweater and grab my purse.
“Nice hoodie,” Spencer says with a smirk when I come out.
I arch an eyebrow at him. “If you’re not going to take it back, I’m going to keep using it. Someone ought to.”
Then he gives me that look. The one that never fails to set butterflies fluttering in my belly. The one that tells me he thinks I look beautiful. I wonder if he’s remembering the kiss upstairs. His whispered words, As you wish .
“I’m not Buttercup,” I say. “And you’re not Westley.”
He searches my eyes for a moment, but I start toward the door, leaving him to catch up.
“What do you have against Buttercup and Westley?” he asks when he does.
“Against Westley, nothing.”
He locks the door behind us after we exit into the cool June night. We’re the last two again.
“He falls in love with Buttercup and basically does everything he can to prove it,” I continue. “He goes to seek his fortune, becomes the Dread Pirate Roberts, rescues her from Vizzini, and on and on. But Buttercup? She gives up on him. Again and again.”
We cross the street and start along the Seawall toward home.
“In Buttercup’s defence, at first she thinks he’s dead.”
“I’ll give her that one. But she just goes along with Prince Humperdink. She could have said no to him. Did she think once they were married, she wouldn’t have to put out? Because I assure you, she would.”
“Well. Not really. He was planning to kill her the whole time.”
“She didn’t know that.”
I steal a glance at him. He’s looking at me with that smile on his face. The one that tells me he’s laughing at me. I turn forward again.
“Then Westley finds her, and she tells him, point blank, I will never doubt again . And then she does! Almost immediately after. If I ever told someone I’d never doubt them again, I’d fucking mean it.”
“This has got you really fired up.”
“It’s just… Westley spends the whole movie doing everything he can to get her back and she never does anything to help him. I never thought it was fair.”
“Think of it this way. Westley knew, from the very beginning of the movie and even before then, that he was in love with her. That what they had was real and could last forever. Not everyone has that kind of instinct. Buttercup had to have proof. And she went with Humperdink the second time to try to protect Westley.”
“You don’t think Buttercup is an idiot?”
He shakes his head. “I think if she was, Westley wouldn’t have fallen in love with her.”
The night is chilly, even with his hoodie on, and I shiver.
“Are you cold?” he asks.
“Unless it’s scorching hot, I’m probably cold. It’s a curse. Ask me next month. I’ll be warm then.”
He walks a little closer, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. His heat sinks into me. I wrap my arm around his waist because it’s the best way to keep my balance while he’s walking so close to me. And because he’s warm and I’m cold. Not at all because I want to be closer to him. I look up at him. His blond hair is a little messy from running his fingers through it all day. His crystal blue eyes smile down at me. There’s a smirk on his full lips.
The kiss flashes through my mind again and I look away before I do something stupid.
I clear my throat. “So does it happen often? Getting hit on by bridesmaids?”
He chuckles. “Why? Jealous?”
“What would I have to be jealous of?”
“I don’t know, firecracker. What would you have to be jealous of?”
I don’t have an answer.
“You’d be surprised how often it happens, actually,” Spencer continues, letting me off the hook. “Me and Derek. And Derek doesn’t even deal with the guests very often.”
“I actually wouldn’t be surprised. You and Derek are both really hot.”
“You think Derek’s hot?”
I give him a sweet smile and flutter my eyelashes at him. “Why? Jealous?”
The dark look in his eyes gives me the answer.
I laugh. “Hot or not, Derek isn’t my type.”
“But I am?”
My laughter dies and my steps hesitate. He stops as well and we just look at each other for a minute. I’m searching his eyes.
“Spencer…” I say, but I don’t know how to finish.
He tugs me forward and we keep walking. “What are you doing Monday? Want to do the Grind with me?”
I make a gagging noise and he laughs.
“Come on. You said you’d do it with me. And we haven’t been hiking in a while.”
“I’m pretty sure the caveat is that you go running with me.”
“We can go running another day.”
I glare up at him. “It sounds to me like you’re trying to get me to climb that fucking mountain with no intention of holding up your end.”
“I would never!” he says in a falsetto voice, a hand over his heart.
“Hey. Get your own quotes.”
He grins down at me, and I have the startling realization that walking home with him was a bad idea. I’m only torturing myself with what I’ve decided I can’t have. Why can’t I have it again?
“I can’t on Monday. Daze and I are going to our parents’ house. We’ll be there most of the day.”
“Tuesday then?”
“Why do you want me to do it so much?” I ask.
“Maybe I want to see if you can keep up with me.”
“Of course I can’t. I run, not climb stairs. And you have longer legs than I do. You’re like a foot taller than me.”
“I don’t think I’m that much taller.”
I lift an eyebrow. My eyes scan him from the top of his head to his feet. When I reach his face again, he smirks at me, eyebrows raised.
“Like what you see?”
I roll my eyes and don’t respond. We turn onto my road and in no time at all, we’re at my door and I have to let him go. It feels like tearing my arm off, but I release him. We stand facing each other, neither making a move to leave.
I heave an aggravated sigh. “Fine. I will come with you to do the Grouse Grind on Tuesday.”
He grins. “Excellent.”
“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”
He just keeps grinning. Then he leans forward and places a kiss on my head in a brotherly gesture that does not make me feel sisterly toward him at all.
“Good night, Lis. See you tomorrow.”
Inside, I push the button for the elevator. When the doors open, I look out the glass front door, and he’s still there, waiting for me to get on. I wave at him and step in.
As the elevator starts up, I wonder what the fuck I’m doing. I’d created a line that I wasn’t supposed to cross. But the longer I spend in Spencer’s company, the blurrier that line becomes.
#
It doesn’t get easier to see the line the next day, either. Even when I’m busy ensuring everything gets started on schedule, the kiss remains in my mind on an endless loop. I avoid Spencer during the day and when I notice a problem, I search out Derek instead.
I find him on the roof, leaning against the railing with his arms crossed, watching as guests get settled for the wedding.
“Hey,” I say. “I didn’t think you would watch many weddings.”
“I don’t. But Carter’s my mechanic, so I thought I’d hang out for this one. Something wrong?”
I nod. “The cake hasn’t arrived.”
I’m not a baker if I can at all avoid it. So the cakes are done by a highly admired baker in the area. Blue Vista has partnered with this baker, and usually they’re prompt with getting the cake here first thing in the morning.
“Shit.” Derek straightens and pulls out his phone. “I’ll call them. Find out what’s going on.”
He moves away to place the call and I wait for him to get back. I spend the time looking over the ceremony. Since I’m usually downstairs cooking, this is the first time I’ve had a chance to see one and it’s honestly breathtaking. The groom is at the front with the officiant and another man who I have to assume is his best man. They’re standing under an arch covered with a blush pink gauze, caught in various places and tied with gold ribbons and bunches of white flowers. In the background, the ocean sparkled out to the horizon.
I was about to turn to see if Derek was finished on the call when music started and the groom looked down the aisle. Annie came down first in a pink dress with a gold belt. She smiled at the guests, walking sedately to the alter. When she got there, the music changed and “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri begins playing. The bride starts down the aisle.
She’s wearing a gorgeous lace dress, fitted to her curves with a long train embroidered with gold filigree. I notice her groom watching her with tears in his eyes. When I refocus on the bride, Spencer stands behind her. He must have come up with the bride because I hadn’t seen him on the roof.
I forget all about the ceremony as our eyes lock. Distantly, I hear the officiant begin, but I don’t know what he’s saying. I feel the phantom memory of Spencer’s kiss, hear his whispered words. I can’t look away. And then I hear the groom begin to speak.
“A long time ago, I was coming home from a graveyard shift, and my life changed. A woman tripped over a rug and fell into my arms. In that moment, my heart woke up and said, ‘It’s you. It’s going to be you.’ If I had to wait ten years or a thousand, it was always going to be you.”
Tears fill my eyes and I can’t exactly explain why. The groom’s speech is sweet, but the way Spencer is looking at me, like he agrees with every word, makes my heart expand in my chest. I want to take a step toward him, but my feet are frozen. The bride speaks next.
“I told myself I couldn’t fall in love with you,” she says. “It wasn’t in my plan. But from the moment we met, whether I intended to or not, I started to fall in love with you, anyway. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. You will never know how grateful I am that you loved me enough to wait until I was ready.”
I blink to prevent the tears from falling as my heart cracks. Spencer takes one step forward.
Then, Derek touches my elbow. I turn to him, swallowing past the lump in my throat.
“The cake is on its way,” he says, his voice pitched low so as not to interrupt the ceremony. “It should be here in about fifteen.”
I nod. When I look back at Spencer, he’s been pulled aside by someone else, so I return downstairs to the kitchen. Tina has everything under control, so I go into my office for a second to gather my thoughts.
There had been a reason I’d decided we couldn’t be together. The logical part of my brain tells me I don’t want to mix my career and personal life. I’ve been down that road. I’ve seen other women go down that road and had it blow up in their faces, just like it had mine. This job is important to me and I can’t forget that now.
I pull myself together and return to work. I’m able to focus on what I need to do, even as my emotions are a jumbled mess. I’m finished long before Spencer and so I take transit home. We don’t see each other much on Sunday for a retirement party and, again, I take transit home. I don’t know if Spencer suspects I’m avoiding him, but I need a little distance to figure out exactly what it is I want.
On Monday, when I wake up with an ache in my chest, I realize it’s because I’m not going to see him at all today. It’s a stupid feeling since I specifically avoided him yesterday and the day before, and I’m going to go for a hike with him tomorrow. But I feel it anyway.
I shake off the feeling, telling myself I’m stupid and I need to get over this. He’s just a man. An insanely attractive man who is also kind and funny and smart and overall, pretty much perfect, but just a man. And even better, we’re friends.
Right. Better.
Daze drives us out to Maple Ridge and we arrive at our parents’ house in the afternoon.
“Mom, Dad,” I call. “We’re here.” Cerberus runs ahead of me and by the time I catch up, he’s chowing down on a cookie Dad has given him.
Cerberus thunks his tail against the ground as he swallows the last of his cookie and looks up, asking for a second.
“No more,” I say. “You can spoil him more later.”
We sit in the chairs around the outside table and Mom and Daze start talking about wedding plans. Daze has a few places she’s thinking about. Unfortunately, after talking with Vic and Spencer a few weeks ago, she and Sophie had decided they couldn’t afford a wedding at Blue Vista. It’s also already fully booked for next summer, so even if they’d wanted to, they would have to wait until the year after. They’re trying to find something that will work for about a year from now.
Then Mom turns to me. “And how is Spencer?”
“Yes, Lis. How is Spencer?” Daze says, taking a sip of her sparkling water.
“He’s fine.” I roll my eyes. “You guys. We’re just friends.”
“Right,” Daze says, turning toward Mom. “They went on a date, you know.”
I want to strangle her.
“That was before I started at Blue Vista. It was one date and we’re just friends. I don’t date people I work with. Not anymore.”
Mom’s and Daze’s smiles both slip. They both remember how devastated I was when I’d been fired and subsequently dumped.
“Oh, honey.” Mom pats my hand.
“Is there a policy against dating at Blue Vista?” Dad asks.
I sigh. “No. But I didn’t think there was one before either. It’s just… It’s better this way.”
“Sure it is,” Daze says, unbelieving. I admit, I’m not sure how much I believe the statement anymore, either. “You’re just crazy about each other. But it’s better this way. Did you know he walks her home almost every night?”
I give her a look that I hope she knows means I want to strangle her.
“He’s just being nice. And it’s not like it’s really far. His place is only fifteen minutes from ours.”
“Which he has to pass and then backtrack. And he’s somehow convinced her to hike the Grouse Grind tomorrow.”
Forget strangulation. I’m going to stab her. Especially when Mom looks at me with delight.
“I recall you said you’d never do that hike again.”
“It’s awful,” I say. “My legs were killing me for a week last time.”
“That’s an exaggeration,” Daze says.
“It’s what I remember,” I say haughtily, even though I’m certain she’s right. I think I was only sore for a day. I should have thought of that before I agreed to do it with Spencer when I have to work the next day. “Can we change the subject, please?”
Mom takes pity on me and begins to tell us about her pottery class that she started a few weeks ago. Then she gets up to check on dinner, which she started before I’d arrived to ensure I didn’t take over, and I follow her while Daze and Dad talk about work.
“How are you really doing, honey?” Mom asks when we’re alone. She hands me a bag of carrots and I take out a few and begin peeling them.
“I’m fine.”
She just looks at me.
“What?”
“Your sister is getting married.”
I roll my eyes. “I know that. She told me before anyone else.”
“Mmhm. She’s your best friend in the whole world. I know how happy you are for her, but I also want to know how you’re doing.”
I sigh. Of course my mother would know that everything wasn’t all sunshine and roses.
“I guess I’m a little worried that things are going to change. But not really. I’ve known this was coming, even if I wasn’t sure exactly when. And maybe I’m a little bit jealous that she gets to have the dream now and I don’t. I mean, I’ve been on a couple dozen dates in the last year and all of them have been awful. I finally find a guy worth considering—more than worth it, if I’m being honest—and he’s my boss’ best friend. It would just be so messy and complicated. I don’t know that it’s worth it.”
“All the best things in life are difficult, Lissy. And they’re all worth it. If there’s no policy against it, maybe you should give it a chance? There are other jobs.”
I grab a knife and start slicing the carrots into circles, all exactly a quarter inch thick.
“There are other jobs, but this one is exactly what I’ve wanted. I’m in charge. If I stay here for a while, prove my worth, Vic will let me have creative control over the menu. It’s what I’ve been working for.”
“And why can’t you have both? Why not the dream job and the dream boyfriend?”
I scoff as I scoop the chopped carrots into a bowl. “It’s never worked out that way before. What’s going to make it work out that way now?”
I season the vegetables, add some oil, and toss them before spreading them on a pan and sliding them into the oven.
“Because this job and this man are different from before. Maybe they’re both the right ones.”
We stare at each other for a long moment before Mom sighs. “Either way, I want you to invite him to dinner next time you come out.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s your friend and he needs a family dinner every once in a while. And because he doesn’t have a mother to give it to him.”
I look at her for a moment before nodding.
When dinner is ready, we sit down to eat and Daze says, “You’re actually going to sit with us and not putter around in the kitchen for half an hour before eating?”
“When Spencer was here, he forced her to eat,” Dad says.
I groan.
“What? What did he do?” Daze asks, her gaze darting around the table at each of us.
“Please don’t.”
Mom chuckles. “He lifted her over his shoulder and sat her in the chair. Then he threatened to let the food go cold and microwave it.”
“He didn’t!”
Mom nods. Everyone laughs at my expense.
“Why are we back to bugging me? Bug Daze for a while.”
“There’s nothing to bug her about yet,” Dad says. “She’s getting married. Once she’s married we’ll start bugging her about grandchildren. Don’t you worry. In the meantime, we’re going to bug you about being single.”
“Well, I’m not looking anymore,” I say. “Apparently, my standards are too high. Because I can’t find anyone worth dating.” Except Spencer.
“What are your standards?” Dad asks. “We can help you figure out if they’re too high.”
I roll my eyes but list the things I’ve decided are essential. “He has to make me laugh. He has to be kind and like my dog and get along with Daze and Sophie and you guys. Someone who likes a lot of the same things as me. Someone who can keep me warm. Someone I can steal hoodies from and play games with, who’s tall and—” I stop myself from saying the rest because I know I’m just describing Spencer.
The way my family looks at me, they know it, too.
“Anyway. I’m done for now. I’m just going to focus on work and getting through wedding season and eventually I’ll get back out there.”
After dinner, I load Cerberus into the car with his farewell treat from Mom. The fifth one he’s received today. Daze drives us home. We’re about halfway there when my phone buzzes. A text from Spencer. My breath catches in my throat. I want to open it and read it immediately. But I also consider the fact that we’re supposed to just be friends, and this is not the kind of reaction one has when a friend texts them.
I unlock my phone and read it.
Spencer: You ready for tomorrow?
Me: Ugh. Yes.
Me: I was recently reminded that the last time I did the Grouse Grind, my legs were sore for a week. I swore I’d never do it again.
Spencer: You’ll be fine.
Me: I’m sure I will. But I may need a massage after.
Spencer: I’m certain that can be arranged.