34. Chapter 34
Chapter 34
Spencer
F ire races through me the moment our lips touch, burning away the haze of grief and anger shrouding my mind. My hands find her hips, dragging her against me. Her hands release the front of my hoodie and snake up my chest, fingers threading into my hair, pulling my head down closer to her. One of my hands makes a similar trip and I find the clip in her hair, opening it and letting it all loose, the way I like it best. Then, I palm her ass, lifting her onto her toes.
“Spencer, I need you.”
Blood rushes from my head to my dick at her whispered words and I’m dizzy for a second. I want to push her against the wall and take her right here in my father’s dining room. But sense prevails before I start tearing her clothes off.
“I would take you right here, firecracker, except I have no condoms.”
She blinks her eyes open. They’re the darkest green I’ve ever seen them filled with desire. She catches her bottom lip between her teeth and I want to stop her so I can do that instead.
“I have an IUD,” she finally says. “If you want…”
I search her eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m tired of fighting this, Spencer. It’s been almost four months. I don’t want to wait another twenty minutes to get all the way back to my place or yours. I want you right the fuck now. This place is a fucking palace. There has to be a bed or two kicking around we can use, right?”
I chuckle and nod. “I know just the place. Come on.”
I find one of her hands and lace our fingers together, tugging her with me as I leave the dining room and move to the back of the house. We pass a wall of windows and Lis comes to a stop, looking down.
“Is that what I think it is?” she asks, pressing her face to the glass.
“The pool? Yes. Lots of people have pools.”
“It’s inside! You have an indoor pool!”
“Not me. Come on.” I lead her further, up the back stairs to the second level and down the hall, finally stopping at a door. I hesitate, the desire to get Lis into a bed where I can fuck her warring with the trepidation of seeing this room again. “I haven’t been in here in a while.”
I take a breath and push the door open, letting Lis into my childhood bedroom. It hasn’t changed since I left over ten years ago. She lets go of my hand to walk around the room. The same framed movie posters are scattered on one wall. Army of Darkness , Alien , The Dark Crystal , The Exorcist , The NeverEnding Story . The opposite wall has a gigantic window with the curtains drawn. Lis peaks behind them to see the view, but leaves them shut. She trails her fingers along my dresser, looking at the items scattered over the top. A trophy from when I was in soccer, an old hockey puck, an empty frame. She holds it up and looks at me, the question in her eyes.
“The frame wasn’t really my style. So I took the picture when I moved out. Left everything else.”
Finally, she makes her way to the bed. It’s huge and pretentious, just like everything in this house. But my old duvet cover is still on it, a galaxy of colours brightening an otherwise white room.
“Is it going to be dusty?” she asks, running her fingers over the blanket.
“Probably not. Matthew keeps the house clean.”
“Is he still here?”
“Downstairs somewhere. He won’t bother us.”
She turns toward me with a smile that melts away all hesitation. “Get over here, then.”
She holds out her arms and I don’t need to be told twice. I take two steps and I’m there, lifting her and setting her gently on my bed. My mouth finds hers as I kick off my shoes and climb onto the bed as well, hovering over her. My hand slides along her leg and I’m not sure if I love the feeling of the stocking she’s wearing or if I want to rip it off her so I can feel her skin. I sit up so I can remove her shoes. They’re not the red, fuck me heels I love so much. These ones are cute black shoes with a rounded toe and a much shorter heel. I take them off and drop them to the ground.
I kneel between her legs, one propped up on either side of me and I skim my hands back along them, moving toward her this time.
“You have this whole business casual thing going on today,” I say.
“I thought I should look somewhat appropriate to meet your father. If I knew what an asshat he was, I wouldn’t have cared.”
“Did you know the skirt molds to your ass and the shirt clings to your curves and a part of me has been undressing you in my mind since the moment I saw you today?”
She smiles slyly. “I also wanted to look hot for you.”
My hands reach her knees and then start the slow slide down her thighs, catching the edge of her skirt and letting it fall to her hips, revealing the lace tops of her stockings, held up by black satin ribbons. She watches me as my hands move, her legs opening wider the closer I get to her core.
“You don’t have to go slow,” she says.
“Yes, I do. I intend to savour this.”
When my hands reach where the skirt has bunched, I flip it up over her stomach, revealing black, lace panties.
“These are not business casual.”
I trail a finger along the edge and her hips lift toward me, silently begging me closer.
“Spencer.” Her voice is breathy, pleading. “Are you going to tease me all day, or are you going to fuck me?”
“I was thinking both.”
She reaches for me but I back away.
“Now, now. None of that. Do I have to tie you to the bedposts to make you behave?” I don’t intend it seriously, but the way her eyes gleam makes me reconsider. “Maybe next time, firecracker.”
She pouts and then sucks in a breath as I run my finger up the slit of her pussy through the damp fabric of her panties. I reach the top hem and pull them off her, revealing soft, glistening lips begging for a kiss. I lean down, kissing the inside of one thigh, then the other. By the time I make it back to the centre, she’s squirming underneath me. I wrap one arm around her leg, settling it over my shoulder and pressing my hand to her belly. My other hand presses the other leg out further, giving me all the access I require. Then, finally, slowly, I lick all the way up that swollen, pink pussy.
She moans as my tongue touches her. I find her clit and swirl my tongue around it, sucking on it, making her moan louder. I alternate between licking and sucking and then I slide two fingers inside her and she sucks in a breath, her hips bucking. I hold her still with the hand on her belly, needing to lap up every drop of her. Her hands find their way into my hair, pressing my face closer to her. I taste slowly, teasingly.
“Spencer,” she says, and I recognize the sound. It’s been months since I heard it last. She doesn’t need to tell me she’s almost there. I can hear it in the way she says my name.
I keep my pace, sliding my fingers slowly in and out of her, licking and sucking at her clit as she starts to unravel.
“Fuck,” she says. And then she moans as her climax squeezes my fingers tight. I stop moving them, but continue relentlessly licking at her clit, driving her higher until the moan turns to a scream. She slaps her hands over her mouth to muffle the sound. I lift up and remove her hands, replacing them with my mouth and she kisses me desperately, licking the taste of herself off my lips.
I undo my pants and shove them down. My dick springs free, straining toward her wet heat. I hesitate for a second.
“You’re sure about this?” I ask.
Her eyes find mine, the pupils blown out so there’s only a thin ring of green around them.
“You’ve done the teasing. Now it’s time for the fucking.” She lifts her hips, her pussy brushing against the tip of my cock, inviting me in. “Fuck me, Spencer. Please.”
I capture her lips again and drive into her in a swift, hard thrust, sheathing myself right to the hilt. The knowledge that I’m inside her, with nothing separating us, almost makes me come right then. I hold still, gathering the reins of my control until I’m certain I can do this right. I sit up on my knees again, draping one of her legs over my shoulder, allowing me just that little bit more depth, and then I start to move.
“Fuck, Lis. Your pussy is so fucking wet.”
I slide out and back in, slowly, reminding myself of the feeling of her wrapped around me. Her hair is spread out on the pillow I slept on when I was a teenager, and the sight of her, open and ravishing, her clothes still on and in complete disarray, is so erotic that I move faster. She moans, her hands searching for something to hold onto as I drive into her again and again, finally ending up pressed against the headboard so she can meet my thrusts.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Lis.”
My thumb touches her clit, massaging gently, and she bites her lip, hard, turning the skin around those red lips pink. I know she’s trying to keep from screaming. “Let it go,” I tell her.
She shakes her head.
“Let it go, Lis. Let me hear what I’m doing to you.”
Her eyes flutter closed and another moan escapes her, but that’s not what I want. I lean down, bracing myself above her, pressing her leg toward her chest, gaining another fraction of depth inside her.
“Let me hear you.”
I thrust harder, massage her clit faster, and then she shudders. She screams and I capture the sound, kissing her as her body convulses around me. Then, I groan as my own release floods me. It’s powerful enough that I literally see stars.
I collapse, letting her leg slide to the side, and try to move beside her, but she wraps her arms around me and pulls me back.
“Uh-uh. Stay here,” she says, her voice distant.
I smile. “I don’t want to crush you.”
“You won’t. Stay here.”
So I lay my weight down on her and she takes it, pulling her arms in between us and holding my shirt in her hands, keeping me in place. I kiss her hair and her cheek and her jaw. She just lays there, eyes closed with a satisfied smile.
“How are you not uncomfortable? I’m not exactly light.”
She shifts, tucking as much of her body underneath me as she can. “It’s nice. You’re like a weighted blanket.”
I laugh. She shifts again, reminding me of the clothes that still separate us. “I haven’t had fully clothed sex in a long time.”
She cracks her eyes open and they’re shining with happiness and, if not love, something very close to it.
“It wasn’t bad,” she says.
I nip at her neck and she squeals and bats me away, laughing. I open my mouth to tell her I love her. Because she can hear it now and it won’t freak her out, right? But what comes out is, “You’re going to stay this time, right? We’re together now.”
Our faces are so close together. I watch as the doubt floods into her features and my heart cracks.
“Don’t say no,” I say, not giving her a chance to speak. “If the answer is no, just don’t say it.”
She’s silent for a long time, long enough that the answer must be no. Her expression remains troubled until she looks into my eyes and seems to come to a conclusion, the doubt fading away.
“Yes,” she whispers. “We’re together.”
“Really?”
She nods.
“You’re certain?” I shouldn’t be giving her opportunities to change her mind, but I won’t be able to survive if she goes back on it now.
She wiggles one hand out from between us to touch my face.
“I’ve missed you, Spencer. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve seen you almost every day and I’ve missed you. And when I noticed you were sad and hurting, I just wanted to do everything I could to make you feel better. I love being with you. I want to be able to kiss you whenever I want, for you to hold me when I’m cold.” Her eyes darken. “And I don’t want to see any other women touching you like that bridesmaid tried to do a couple of months ago.”
My lips tilt up. “Were you jealous?”
She sniffs and tilts her head up. “Of course not.”
I laugh. “No. Of course not. So what are you telling me, firecracker? I need you to lay it out for me.”
Her eyes find mine, the colour swirling between green and blue.
“Earlier your dad mentioned a workplace romance and I knew he assumed exactly what I’d feared all along. But it made me realize something. I don’t give a shit what other people think. I want to be with you. I want both the dream job and the dream man. I want everything. Does that make me greedy?”
I don’t answer her. Instead, I crush her lips to mine and she holds me close, our tongues tangling. The hand that had been on my face slides around to the back of my head, her nails dragging across my scalp sending tingles through my body.
Eventually, I break the kiss.
“Yes. You are very greedy. And I’m here for it. But if we don’t stop now, I have a feeling we’ll be staying a lot longer.”
She wriggles beneath me. “Hm. Well. I kind of want to leave before your father gets back. So.” She waggles her eyebrows, making me laugh. “Your place or mine?”
I grin. “Which is closer?”
#
I help Lis up and into the ensuite where I clean her up, straighten her clothes and then my own. I help her put her shoes back on but I refuse to return the panties, which I stuff in the pocket of my hoodie. Then I take her hand and lead her back to the ground floor and the front door. Matthew is waiting there to say goodbye and I grin at him.
“My girlfriend and I are leaving,” I say. Fuck, it feels good to say those words out loud.
“Goodbye, sir,” Matthew says as he opens the door for us. “It was nice to meet you, Miss Lis. And if I may say, I’m so glad Spencer has found a girlfriend who makes him so obviously happy.”
She squeezes my fingers and gives me that look. That same one that I swear is telling me she loves me. Or am I just seeing what I want to find? Reading something that isn’t there? I tug her close to me and kiss her, letting that word fill me up. Girlfriend. I want to scream it to the whole world. Lis is my girlfriend. Lis is mine. Fucking finally .
Matthew clears his throat and opens the door for us, bringing me back to the present. “It’s nice to see you smiling again, sir.”
“I smile a lot,” I say.
“Not while you’re here.”
I realize he’s right. I only come here twice a year. I only see Matthew twice a year. And they’re not very good days. He won’t have seen me smile for a long time.
“You’re going to want to wash the bedding in my old room,” I tell him.
“Spencer!” Lis says.
I just pull her closer to me, wrapping my arm around her. Her face is bright pink. I kiss her temple.
Matthew just rolls his eyes and shoos us out the door, ever the professional. See nothing. Say nothing.
We get into the car, Lis driving again. Even though the brain fog of the morning has lifted and I probably could drive the car, she’s had more practice at driving than I have. We decide to go back to my place since Sophie will be home and Vic won’t be. Or not my place, I guess. Vic’s place. I need to tell Lis I bought a condo and I’ll be moving.
“I’ve been wondering something,” Lis says as we drive through the traffic on Fourth Avenue. “And please just tell me to stay out of it if that’s what you want.”
She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and bites down. The movement makes me shift uncomfortably in my seat, even though I know it’s a gesture of concern and not seduction.
“Ask me whatever you want, Lis.”
“Your dad is a dick,” she blurts out.
I laugh. “That’s not really a question.”
“You go over there every year. He’s a dick. And the rest of the year you have no relationship with him at all.”
“I don’t want a relationship with him. He sends me messages every once in a while that I usually ignore. I see him twice a year on the anniversary of my mom’s death and his birthday, and that’s enough for me.”
“But why? Why do you keep going when he treats you like that?”
I sigh. “I’m feeling generous today. And when I’m feeling generous, I can admit that my father is not a bad man. He just… has bad priorities. He calls people by those stupid nicknames because he thinks it makes up for all the times he’s not around. And when I’m being even more generous, I can also admit that him pushing me to start a business or join his isn’t really him trying to be controlling. It’s because he cares about me. Maybe a little bit him wanting to control me.”
She snorts and I continue.
“Unfortunately, the end result is the same. He got worse after Mom died. He was always bad. She would have to constantly remind him we wanted him with us more than we wanted the money he brought in. Looking back, I think they really loved each other even though he never really understood how to show it. So when she was dying, I promised my mom that I would always be there for him. In the end, I had to cut back for my own sanity. So now it’s just the two days. His birthday isn’t as difficult.”
She sighs. “Okay. Then I won’t argue with you about it. And if you want me to come with you every year for the rest of our lives, I will do that. But I want to say one thing about it. Do you think, if your mom knew the kinds of things he says to you, that she would hold you to that promise?”
My breathing stops. Does she know what she just said? Did she mean it? The rest of our lives? Surely now is the moment I can tell her I love her.
But I hold it back. “I know she wouldn’t hold me to it,” I say instead. “But it’s the last thing I promised her, so I hold myself to it.”
“All right. The rest of our lives then.” She sighs again and changes the subject before I can bring up the thoughts swirling around my brain. “Can you text Daze and Sophie? Let them know we’re going back to your place and ask if they’re okay to keep Cerberus.”
“Are you going to unlock it?”
“While I’m driving a hundred thousand dollar car? Nope. Both hands on the wheel at all times.”
I pick up the phone and type in the passcode that she tells me. I select the app she mentions and find the group chat with her, Daze, and Sophie.
Me: Spencer and I are going back to his apartment.
“You realize you’ve just given me access to your phone,” I say, checking through what else she has on there while I wait for the reply.
She snorts. “There’s nothing interesting on it. A Pinterest profile loaded with recipes and hairstyles. The messaging app where I talk to my sister, her fiancée, my parents, and people from work. And a bunch of photos of mostly food and Cerberus. I deleted the dating app the night we met.”
I turn toward her, frowning, but she’s not looking. “I don’t remember you doing that.”
She glances at me before returning her attention to the road.
“It was before we met, actually. I didn’t tell you this story?”
“No.”
“I’d been on a date and he basically asked for my kidney. It was so awful that I immediately left and deleted the app.”
I laugh. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. Then Daze and Sophie browbeat me into going to the bar.”
“I’ll have to thank them for that. Might have to find the guy and thank him, too.”
Her phone buzzes and I read the message.
Daze: Are you going to be watching movies or did the outfit work?
Sophie: Ten bucks says the outfit worked and they’re not going to be watching movies.
I read the messages out loud. “What do you want to say?”
She sends me a quick smile that has my blood heating.
“What do you want to say? You’ve got the phone.”
Me: We are not going to be watching movies.
The reply is fast this time.
Sophie: Finally!
Daze: I didn’t take that bet. And I told you so about the underwear. Did he steal your clip like you said he would?
I laugh.
Me: That’s not all I stole.
“What are they saying?”
“Sounds like they want us together as much as I want us together.”
She huffs a laugh. The phone buzzes again.
Daze: … is this Lis? Or Spencer?
I read back through what I typed. Oops. I said I instead of he in that last message. Too late now.
Me: Lis is driving.
Sophie: You better treat our girl right.
I glance at Lis. Her hair is still down, clothes still slightly rumpled. She’s tapping her fingers against the steering wheel as though she’s impatient to get through the traffic. And she’d said the rest of our lives.
Me: I intend to.