19. Chapter 18
Chapter 18
Vic
O ver the next week, I immerse myself in running Blue Vista. I use the excuse that Derek is away and I’m trying to keep up with his work. The truth is, Derek has everything organized, so there’s nothing extra for me to do. Then, Derek gets back and there really is nothing to distract me from my husband, who I’m having trouble remembering why I’m not supposed to sleep with, or worse, catch feelings for.
I’m starting to fear I already have. I’ve had to shake myself out of thoughts of Tanner a lot when I should be working, finding myself thinking of how he’d stood up for me. It’s more than that, too. He’s honest with me, letting me know when he’s going to be home late and what’s been going on between him and Dad and the contract—which is to say, not much at the moment. He brings home flowers and gives me those silly origami pieces, usually without a word about it.
I knew from the beginning that I was attracted to him. What I hadn’t expected was how well we would fit together. How much I was going to like having him around, to hang out with, to talk to. The walls I’ve kept up are crumbling around me and I’m scared he doesn’t feel the same way, that he’s counting the days until our marriage is over.
This weekend, we’re going to Whistler for a few days for what we’re calling our honeymoon. It’ll be just the two of us, sharing a single hotel room with a single bed. We’d mentioned to Dad that we were going, and he’d insisted on getting us a room at the Sterling-owned hotel. We hadn’t had a good excuse to refuse, and we couldn’t exactly tell him we sleep in separate beds, so he’d booked it and now I get to spend three nights sleeping next to my insanely hot husband who I’m maybe falling for.
Or at least I will if I feel better than I do right now. Because, though I’d felt fine this morning, now I’m nauseous and freezing cold. It’s only lunchtime and I have to face the realization that I’m sick and have to go home. My whole body aches and I know I have a fever. I pack up my laptop and order an Uber because the ten-minute walk to my apartment might kill me. As I head out the door, I send a message to our group chat instead of saying goodbye to everyone.
Me
I’m sick. I’m going home.
Adalie
Oh no. How are you getting there? You’re not walking are you?
Me
I called an Uber. It’s here now.
I get into the car, nodding to the driver without speaking, huddling in the seat as far from him as I can get. When I check my phone again, there are two messages.
Spencer
You need me to bring anything by?
Lis
I could make you soup.
Me
No. None of you are allowed anywhere near me while I’m sick. I won’t risk Lis or Adalie catching this. I have my laptop if I start to feel better.
I breathe slowly and carefully as the motion of the car makes my stomach roil. I’ve never been more grateful the drive is only five minutes. I get out and head up to my apartment, the elevator ride another horrible experience. I arrive at my door, unlock it, and rush to the bathroom before emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
I hate throwing up more than possibly anything in the world. I will fight the urge every time, which of course makes it worse for me as my body takes over. When I’m done, I can’t bring myself to stand, so I pull down two towels, using one as a pillow and the other to wipe my face.
Darkness descends, and I can’t fight the pull of sleep even though I think I need to get up. My bed would be more comfortable. Did I close the door?
I’m not sure how long I lay there in a state of semi-consciousness—swinging between sweating through my clothes and shivering so hard my entire body shakes—before I look up to see Tanner standing over me.
“How—?” I manage.
“Spencer called.”
He helps me to sit up—his hands cool on my arms—until I can lean against the cupboards.
“So you rushed right home?”
“I tried to call you first, to see if you wanted me to,” he says, standing and opening a drawer. “When you didn’t answer, yes.”
I think I might be delirious, because I’m warmed at the idea that he came home to check on me.
He pulls a thermometer from the drawer and crouches next to me again, sticking it unceremoniously into my mouth, before standing and leaving the bathroom. I’m very confused as my brain struggles to figure out why he left, but then he’s back with a glass of water.
He takes the thermometer back, checking my temperature. He frowns and gets the bottle of Tylenol, handing me two pills and the glass.
“How bad is it?” I ask.
He shrugs, looking at me with those dark brown eyes. “I’ve seen worse.”
But he also looks concerned. I don’t realize I’m staring at him until he touches my hand.
“Take the Tylenol and I’ll get you to bed.”
“You do want to get me into bed, don’t you?” I say without meaning to make the words hearable.
“Yes, but for today, I’ll be leaving you there alone. Come on, Vic. Take the medicine so you don’t have to stay on the bathroom floor.”
I do as I’m told, swallowing with a grimace. The water hits my stomach like a weight. I turn away from him, breathing through the need to throw up again.
Tanner takes the glass from me but does nothing else.
“If you need to throw up, it’s best to let it happen,” he says after a moment.
I shake my head. It takes a while, but the feeling passes. When I look at Tanner again, he nods and scoops me up.
I make a wholly undignified noise and grab his neck.
“Tanner, put me down.”
“No.”
My body is tense as he carries me across the apartment to my bedroom.
“I hate being carried,” I say.
“Because of your control issues.”
I shoot him a look. “I do not have control issues.”
He sets me down on my bed. “You just willed yourself not to puke. You have control issues. But I kind of like them.” He turns to my dresser and pulls out some pyjamas from the second drawer.
“How did you know where I keep them?” I ask as he returns to my side.
“I remembered.”
“From when?”
His eyes meet mine and suddenly I remember, too. The way his hands had felt on my body, like he was worshiping me. I’d never before or since felt that same sense of belonging with someone. Not even with Emily. I swallow, then gasp as he starts taking off my suit jacket.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Taking off your clothes and getting you into something more comfortable.”
I move away. “I can do it myself.”
He takes a half step back and waits as I struggle to get my jacket off. I can’t seem to bend my arm enough to get it out, and after a second, I fall to the side in pathetic misery.
Tanner shakes his head and gently takes my arm from my sleeve. Then he starts to work on the buttons of my blouse.
“I’m fine,” I say, catching his hands.
“You’re going to sleep in your blouse and slacks instead of these cozy pyjamas?”
I glance at the set he’s chosen. They’re my favourite. I wonder if he knows that or if it was a lucky guess.
“Come on, Vic. I’ve seen you naked before.”
“Yeah, close to a decade ago.”
He pins me with that dark gaze, and I can’t help but feel like, if I weren’t sick, I might let him undress me, and other things.
“You think I’ve forgotten?”
“Why would you remember?” I ask.
He rolls his eyes and waits for me to give him permission to continue.
I nod and he undoes the buttons of my blouse until I’m sitting on my bed in my bra. I feel incredibly exposed, except he doesn’t really look at me. He just gets my pyjama shirt and moves to slip it over my head.
“Can you…”
He pauses, waiting for me to finish.
I swallow hard. “The bra.”
Thankfully, I’m probably already beet red from the fever. He simply nods and takes it off me with quick efficiency. Every time his fingers brush my skin, they’re cool and I know it’s because I’m burning up, but it feels nice.
My pyjama shirt is on quickly, then he’s helping me out of my shoes and slacks. I hadn’t even realized I was still wearing shoes. After he puts my pyjama pants on, he tucks me into bed. Then he’s gone again, to get something else. He returns with a large bowl and a glass of water.
“If you don’t think you can make it to the bathroom, you can use this,” he says. “I’ll take care of it.”
“That’s disgusting,” I say.
“It won’t be the first time.”
I close my eyes. They’re burning and I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, but the Tylenol seems to be working because I’m exhausted.
“When have you cleaned up puke before?” I ask.
“I’ve cleaned up after most of my siblings at one point or another,” he says, fussing with my blanket a bit. “And my nieces and nephews when they were babies.”
“I’m sorry I got sick right before we’re supposed to go away,” I say. Even though the idea of sleeping in the same bed with Tanner made me nervous, I had also been excited to go, spend the time alone with him. Maybe renegotiate our agreement regarding sex.
“Rest, Vic,” Tanner says. “I’ll come back in a bit to check on you, but I’ll be just out in the living room if you need anything.”
“Okay.” My eyes are already closed. I relax into my bed as unconsciousness claims me, secure in the knowledge that Tanner is here.