Chapter 11
Eleven
Dani
Ifeel splintered. Torn and splintered to pieces.
Derek doesn’t mean anything to me anymore, so I know it’s not a direct response to any lingering feelings—I was done with him long ago.
No, I haven’t felt fear like that since Anthony Romani and the events at the diner dragged me right back to that horror house.
The heart-pounding, adrenaline-spiking fear had me literally trembling as I hid behind that booth.
I only felt safe once Kayden returned from his surveillance of the diner, and therein lies another problem.
Kayden feels like a safe house in a world filled with evil.
I know his blue eyes have entranced me these past few years, and being back in his presence is intoxicating.
The chemistry between us is electric, but ultimately I’m scared.
I’m scared of the darkness I sometimes catch in his gaze, like it wants to pull me under and completely ruin me—mind, body, and soul.
I’m even more scared of the other emotions I see in him, the ones that threaten to make me fall head over heels for this man.
He looks at me like I’m the most precious thing in the world.
It’s the same look that was in his eyes when he rescued me.
Sitting on the couch, I contemplate all of this while waiting for Melody to come into the apartment.
Kayden got up to meet her in the hallway, but they’ve been out there for a few minutes.
I can only imagine what they’re saying about me.
Do I want to take my life? No, no way. Was there a fleeting moment where I wanted to give into that voice in the back of my mind to cut my wrist, to let out this pent up energy—this nothingness—before it swallowed me whole?
To distract myself from my inner pain by inflicting outer pain?
Yes, yes there was. However small that voice was, I couldn’t lie and say it didn’t cross my mind.
Just more proof that I should go back to therapy and regulate my medications.
One step at a time, though.
The front door closes and Melody comes around the corner, sleepover bag in hand and tears in her eyes, and I can’t help but chuckle.
“What are you laughing about?” Melody asks incredulously. “Kayden made me think you were going to hurt yourself!”
“Well, the thought crossed my mind,” I admit sheepishly, shrugging my shoulders as I lay cocooned in my blanket.
Melody strides over to me, grabbing one of the pillows and walloping me over the head with it.
“You can’t just say things like that, Dani. I love you too much. You know that, right?”
“Well, I’m just being honest. Was I actually going to do it? Probably not, but there was an instance where my inner voice suggested it.”
She sighs, looking at me out of the corner of her eye. “What can I do to help you?”
“Honestly… just being here is enough.” I pause, thinking that over. “Actually, it probably wouldn’t hurt if you hold me accountable to taking my medications, too.”
“You’ll let me know if it’s not enough though, right? If you need more help than I can give?”
I peer at Melody, remembering what she told me had happened to her. How she was raped then stalked, kidnapped, tortured, and sexually assaulted before being rescued. How she went through all that and has somehow become this strong woman, lending her strength to those around her, I’ll never know.
“I promise, Melody. I’m OK, really. Will I decline the opportunity to have a girls’ week with you? Absolutely not. But you don’t have to be afraid to use the bathroom without me in case I decide to hurt myself. I won’t.”
“Alright. Then it’s settled. I’ll stay over for the week, lend you my moral support, get you taking your medications, and then we can go from there. Kapeesh?”
“Sounds like a plan,” I say, nodding my head as I uncurl myself from the blanket I was huddled in. “Thanks, Melody.”
I reach over and give my best friend a hug. I don’t know what I did to deserve her, but I’m so thankful she’s in my life.
“Alright, how about some rom-coms and sushi?” she asks excitedly, holding me at arms length and wearing the biggest smile.
“How can a girl say no to that?!”
The first few days pass quickly—much too quickly.
We have taken trips to the bookstore, indulged in all our favorite foods, talked about anything and everything, and just enjoyed each other’s company.
Melody’s kept me distracted all this time, and I’m worried how I’ll manage once she’s gone.
She’s made sure I’ve been taking my medications as I should be and even helped me make my first therapy appointment since I stopped going.
Maybe it’s a placebo effect, but I feel like my medication is helping me now that I’m taking it regularly as I should have been from the get go.
I’m determined to do this. I still have at least three more days with Melody, and honestly…
She could probably go home now, but I’m not going to make a peep about it.
Call me selfish, but I’ve never been able to have this much time with her.
We normally see each other every few weeks, so this has been a treat.
She probably wants to pull my hair out. We’ve been in the same store for the past forty minutes because I can’t make a decision between the two dresses I picked out for our next night out.
One is a deep-plum halter dress that stops just above my knees with ruching on the side.
The other is a black sequin-covered dress with slits in each thigh and a plunging neckline.
Both are incredibly flattering, but as usual I’m leaning toward the black dress because, well, black is my favorite color and always my go to—and it has long sleeves to cover my wrists.
But Melody is currently arguing with me to add color to my wardrobe.
“Dani, I really think the purple one looks great. You have enough black in your closet as it is. And I know it covers your scars, but eventually you need to let yourself shine, scars and all.”
“But black is my color, Melody. It’s my signature,” I pout, holding the dress up to my frame in the mirror. “But on the other hand, you’re right. The purple does look really good, too.”
“That’s what I’m saaaying.”
“I just think the men will like the black dress better… it’s dangerous.”
“Men or just one man in particular?” Melody asks, a smirk on her face.
“I don’t know what you mean by that,” I reply, turning away from the mirror and placing a hand on my hip.
“You know exactly what I mean! You have one man on your mind, and that just happens to be Kayden. Admit it!”
“I’m not admitting anything to you,” I state, turning back toward the mirror.
Switching between each dress, I fumble the hangers as my phone blips, signaling a new text message.
Melody leans over to look at the screen but I snatch it before she can get a good look. “Oooh, who’s that texting you?! You never get texts!”
I roll my eyes at her and glance at the screen. Kayden. Speak of the devil. Wonder what he wants.
Kayden
Get the black dress, spitfire.
Stunned, I look all around, trying to figure out where the hell he is.
“Why are you spinning in circles, Dani?” Melody asks, looking at me as though I have completely lost it.
Ignoring her, I type out a reply, still completely clueless as to how he knows my current dilemma. I look up and down the rows of clothing racks and don’t see him anywhere.
Me
Are you stalking me?!
Kayden
Define stalking.
Me
Ugh… where are you?
Kayden
Wouldn’t you like to know *smirk face*
I don’t respond right away, batting Melody away as she tries to take my phone from me.
Kayden
Both dresses would look good on the floor, either way. But the black is my favorite.
My jaw drops at his forwardness.
Me
Seriously, where are you?
“Hey, ladies,” says a smooth voice behind me.
“Kayden Michael Stonewell. What are you doing here?”
“Hi to you, too, Melody,” Kayden responds, leaning against the pillar in the center of the aisle.
His glaze flicks to mine and a smirk graces his chiseled face.
The man is sin personified. He’s in a pair of light-wash jeans that are snug in all the right places, coupled with a black tight-fitting T-shirt that hugs all his delicious muscles in all the best ways.
My nails want nothing more than to sink into his chest and leave marks in their wake.
Huffing a piece of hair out of my face, I can’t help but to grill him just the same as Melody.
“How did you know where we were?” I ask, not completely ready for the answer.
Kayden reaches over and grabs the dresses off my arm before he responds, “I just happened to be on the phone with Jax when he told me you ladies were dress shopping at Melody’s favorite store. I was in the area and figured I’d stop by, see how you were doing.”
Kayden holds up both dresses against my slender, yet curvy frame. Winking, he hands me the black dress and puts the purple dress back on the rack. My cheeks must be turning fifty shades of red as I feel the heat blossom over my skin.
“Well, thanks, but we’re doing fine. No need to check in on me,” I reply, placing the black dress over my arm and turning to Melody. My gaze is pleading with her to say something, but it takes her a couple seconds to get the hint.
“Yeah, she’s been doing good. We were just about to leave and get a bite to eat actually. Want to come with?”
I widen my eyes and purse my lips at her. What the hell is she thinking? She’s totally doing this on purpose. After Kayden said she tried to hook us up at the club, I’m on to her.
“Oh, come on, Dani. You were just saying how hungry you were and wanted to try the little hibachi place next door,” she pleads, ignoring my glare.
Kayden looks at me expectantly, waiting to see how I’ll respond.
“Actually, hold on. Jax did hint that he wants to meet me for lunch. Kayden, why don’t you take Dani to the restaurant? I can meet up with you guys afterwards,” Melody suggests as she sends out a text, hurriedly places her selections back on the rack, and makes a beeline for the exit.
“MELODY! MELODY!” I shout after her but it’s useless. She ignores me and continues out of the store, leaving me and Kayden alone.
I turn back, looking up at Kayden’s ocean-blue eyes. “I guess we’re on our own.”
“It would appear so,” Kayden says, chuckling. “Come on, let’s get you that dress and get some food.”
We make our way to the check out and just as I hand the dress over to the clerk, Kayden pulls out his wallet and hands over a matte black card. It screams, I’m rich.
“Kayden, what are you doing?! I can pay for that,” I say, practically grabbing his muscled arm to pull the card back. The clerk eyes me like I’m crazy.
“If the dress is going to be for my benefit, and trust me, Dani, it will be, the least I can do is front the bill.”
My jaw drops again at his audacity.
“B-but…” I can’t even get two words out before the dress is paid for and the clerk is handing me the bag. I chew my lip, looking at the bag and then back up at Kayden. He bends down close to my ear, causing shivers to erupt down my spine.
“If you keep doing that, we won’t make it to lunch,” Kayden says, a huskiness taking over his tone.
Fuck, I’m wrecked. The mental images my brain has just drummed up have me clenching my thighs as wetness soaks my panties.
Kayden takes my elbow in his large hand and turns us toward the exit, steering me away from the annoyed clerk that I could give two shits about right now.
My brain is going absolutely haywire. Melody’s encouragement to just go for it plays on a loop as we leave the department store.
Kayden pulls us out into a hallway of the mall that leads to the bathrooms, his touch gentle on my heated skin.
As we move down the hallway, the sounds of the mall fade, and Kayden pushes me against the wall, caging me in between his muscled arms. Holy fuck, is this really happening right now?
“Fuck, Dani. I want so badly to take those plump lips between my teeth as I sink my fingers into you and listen to you beg and whimper for this cock.” He pounds his fist against the wall above me, causing me to jump.
His other hand snakes down around my neck, applying the faintest pressure to the sides.
I’ve dreamed countless times of this man doing exactly this, pushing me against a wall and leaving me nowhere to escape.
I reach out to sneak my trembling hands under his shirt, feeling his stomach muscles ripple at my gentle touch.
Grabbing the edge of his jeans, I yank him against me, desperate to feel something, anything, to soothe this aching need that’s pulsing between my legs.
Kayden squeezes my neck harder, and I moan, the sensation mind blowing.
I can feel his erection against my lower stomach, and I reach a hand down, palming him through his jeans.
My eyes widen at the sheer size of him, an easy eight inches of rock-hard cock.
My hand freezes as I feel hard bumps along his length and my confusion lasts all of two seconds. Holy shit, Kayden is fucking pierced.
“Hey, get out of here and take that somewhere else,” a shout to my left interrupts us. A security guard walks our way, his lips turned up in disgust and his brows pinched. It’s as though I’m doused with a bucket of ice water as my desire fluffs out like a flame.
Kayden levels the man with a glare and it’s enough to make the security guard hesitate, his steps faltering. “I meant what I said. Leave.”
Kayden turns to look at me, a dark promise held within his gaze that says he’s not done with me yet.
“No problem, we were just leaving,” Kayden replies, taking my hand and pulling me back toward the sounds of the mall.
I’m breathless by the time we reach the end of the corridor, my cheeks flushed in both embarrassment and my fading desire.
Kayden leads me to the nearest exit and I wince at the sudden brightness of the California sun high in the sky.
He lets out a heavy breath, running his hand through his hair as he stops at a nearby bench.
His shoulders are tight and he clenches his fist before turning back to me, his gaze locking with mine.
“How about we get that hibachi you wanted?”
I take him in and realize just how much restraint he’s showing. His words say one thing, but his body speaks volumes. I’ve never felt more wanted in my life.
This man has lit a fire in me, and I’m hopeless to fight the flames.