49. Saverio
49
SAVERIO
I thought hearing the heartbeat was intense, but this is a whole new level of nerves. I’m sitting beside Lucia in the doctor’s office, my leg bouncing up and down like I’m on edge—which, hell, I am. Today, we find out whether we’re having a boy or a girl. Lucia is twenty weeks along, halfway to her due date, and we finally get to find out what we’re having.
Every time a door opens, my heart skips a beat, thinking it’s our turn. Lucia places her hand on my knee, steadying my jittery leg, and gives me a reassuring smile. I can see the excitement dancing in her eyes, mirroring my own anticipation. We’ve been speculating for weeks, making lists of names for both possibilities, but now the moment of truth is upon us.
It’s not like the gender changes anything. Boy or girl, it doesn’t matter—I already love this child more than I ever thought possible. I keep imagining if it’s a girl, I’ll have to protect her from the whole world, fend off potential suitors, and teach her to be strong and independent. If it’s a boy, well, I’ll teach him everything I know about being a man, about respect and responsibility, about family. That’ll be a harder conversation later down the line, especially when it comes to explaining who I am and what I do, but I’ll take it as it comes. Either way, this kid is going to have the best of me, the parts I’ve worked so hard to cultivate for Lucia. They’ll know love, security, and the value of family.
The doctor enters the room, clipboard in hand, and nods at both of us. “Are you two ready to find out the gender today?”
I glance at Lucia, who gives me a little smile, her eyes shining with excitement and serenity. I don’t know how she’s so calm about this, but then again, she’s been the rock through this entire pregnancy journey. Her strength and composure never cease to amaze me. I don’t know what I’d do without her steady presence by my side. I squeeze her hand, more for my sake than hers.
“Yeah. Let’s do this,” I say, my voice betraying the nerves I’m trying to hide. I clear my throat, attempting to regain some semblance of control.
Lucia lies back on the exam table, and the doctor begins the ultrasound. That familiar swoosh of the heartbeat fills the room, and even now, weeks later, it still gets to me—the sound of life, our baby, pulsing through the speakers.
I watch the screen intently, my eyes straining to make sense of the grainy image before me. Though I have no idea what I’m looking at, I’m captivated by the swirling patterns of light and shadow. Everything’s just a blur of abstract shapes and various shades of gray, like some kind of avant-garde artwork. But the doctor seems to know exactly what’s going on, her trained eyes deciphering meaning from the chaos.
She moves the wand with practiced precision, clicking a few buttons on the machine as she goes. The image shifts and changes, revealing new angles and perspectives I can’t begin to interpret. Then, suddenly, she pauses, her hand stilling on Lucia’s belly.
“Okay,” the doctor says, her voice maintaining that professional calm I’ve come to appreciate. But there’s an unmistakable edge of excitement in her tone, a hint of the momentous revelation to come. It’s the same anticipation I’ve noticed in her voice during previous appointments but somehow amplified now. She looks up at us, a knowing smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “Are you ready to know?”
I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry as sandpaper. I don’t know why I’m so damn nervous, but it feels like my whole life is hanging on this moment.
Lucia turns her head to me, her eyes sparkling with something—maybe joy, maybe nerves, or perhaps a potent cocktail of both. Her gaze locks onto mine, searching for reassurance. “You ready?” she asks.
I nod, my throat too tight to answer aloud. I feel like a kid waiting for some big secret to be revealed, only this time, the stakes are higher than anything I’ve ever dealt with before. My palms are sweaty, and I can feel my heart pounding against my ribcage.
The doctor smiles warmly and turns the screen slightly toward us. Her eyes dance with the joy of sharing this moment. “Congratulations…” she pauses for dramatic effect, “it’s a boy!”
A boy.
The words hit me like a punch to the chest, but in a good way. It’s as if all the air has been sucked out of the room, replaced by a surge of emotions I can’t even begin to name. I can’t stop the smile that stretches across my face, threatening to split it in two. I’ve faced a lot of big moments in my life—life-or-death situations, impossible choices—but this, right here? This is the biggest. It’s not just about me anymore; it’s about this tiny life we’ve created, this little boy who will depend on us for everything.
“A boy,” I repeat, barely able to believe it. I look at Lucia, who’s grinning, too, tears in her eyes. “We’re having a boy.”
I can feel my chest tightening and my heart pounding as all the possibilities flash through my mind. My son. I’m going to have a son. A little boy who’ll grow up with me as his father. Someone I can teach, protect, and guide the way my father did for me.
This feeling of responsibility is overwhelming, but so is the pride. My hands tighten around Lucia’s, and I lean down to press a kiss to her forehead, not caring that the doctor is still in the room.
Lucia laughs softly, wiping her tears. “Looks like we’re going to have a little Saverio running around soon.”
I laugh at that, the sound raw and filled with emotion. “He’s going to be a handful, that’s for sure.”
The doctor wraps up the appointment, giving us more details about the baby’s development and what to expect in the coming months, but I’m not listening anymore. My mind is racing, filled with visions of our son’s future—his first steps, his first words, the sound of his laughter echoing through our home. All I can think about is this new life we’re bringing into the world, the family we’re building together, and the incredible journey ahead of us.
As we leave the office, hand in hand, I glance at Lucia. Her face glows with excitement. I make a silent vow to myself and our unborn child. No matter what challenges we face, no matter what obstacles life throws our way, this kid is going to have the best damn life I can possibly give him. I will do whatever it takes—move mountains, fight dragons, change the world if I have to—to make sure of that. Our son will know love, security, and opportunity, and I’ll be there every step of the way to guide him.