Chapter 11
Chapter
Eleven
BANKS
H arper comes flying down the steps from the front porch as soon as I step out of my car. The ribbon she’s tied in her half up ponytail flies behind her, a perfect match to her oversize mustard yellow sweater and pleated black skirt. She leaps into my arms with an excited squeal. Nothing feels as good as holding her again.
When she showed up at my dorm fully in shock, I was beside myself. Never in all my life have I been so terrified. The thought of something happening to her is unfathomable. I would cease to exist because there’s no world in which I want to live without her.
Several of the few people I’ve come out to, including my roommate, think that she just isn’t right for me and that’s why I’m not interested in sex. I know, without a doubt, that is categorically false. Which is why I want to have a hard but honest conversation with everyone this weekend.
“How was your drive?” She kisses my cheek and clings to me.
“Long. I can’t believe you drove it on a motorcycle.”
She drops her feet to the ground and releases my neck. “I know. Declan is still pissed about it, so don’t bring it up.”
“That actually makes me want to, though.” He and I might have found a middle ground, but he still pisses me off on a regular basis.
“No poking the bear at my expense.” She holds out a pinky. “Promise.”
“I promise to do my best.” I hook my pinky around hers and shake on it. I know I’m going to have to deal with flared tempers, but hopefully they’ll be open to seeing things from my perspective. “Speaking of your unbearable stepbrother, where is he? I’m surprised he let you out of his sight.”
“He and Emerson are in North Carolina for a game today. They’ll be back tomorrow morning.”
“Cyrus is here?”
“Yes. Although he mentioned needing to run out and do something for his uncle tonight. It’ll just be us for the most part.”
As I walk into the foyer behind her, he comes down the stairs while tying his hair up in a bun on top of his head. He gives me a nod in greeting but then smiles at Harper. I see it in the way he looks at her, he loves her. It makes my chest loosen knowing that she has him always looking out for her.
Declan, too, for that matter. I’ve known forever that he’s been obsessed with her, long before she even acknowledged him. We weren’t around him too much back home since he went to a private catholic school, and we were public school kids, but being members of the same country club meant regularly running into each other outside of school.
I wish I didn’t have to drop my bomb of an idea on them all right before I leave tomorrow, but it can’t be helped. After what her father said and the content of the threats she gets, I think it’s the course of action that makes the most sense. Even if it means completely upending my life. I’m so serious about it that I’ve spoken to my parents, and they’re cautiously on board.
“When do you have to leave?” she asks Cyrus. “Do you have time to get dinner with us?”
He checks the time on his phone and frowns. “I don’t. I’m sorry.” His attention turns to me. “Do you know all the security codes? And not to leave her alone if you’re out of the house?”
“Yeah. No one’s going to bother her with me around.” That’s a fucking promise. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her safe and happy. “Declan sent me everything I need to know for security at the house, too.”
“I could tell you, too, you know?” She rolls her eyes. “Believe it or not I’ve kept myself safe for nineteen years on my own. I am capable of taking care of myself.”
“I know.” Cyrus pulls her into a hug. “Extra sets of eyes and muscles don’t hurt though.”
“Maybe you’re the one who needs extra help and protection.” She peers up at him. “I’ll stay up since Emerson isn’t here.”
They share an intense, quiet look. Cyrus lifts his palms to her cheeks and whispers something in a language I’ve never heard before. She raises onto her tiptoes and presses a kiss to his lips. I watch as a test for myself.
Does it make me uncomfortable to see this?
No.
Am I jealous?
Definitely not.
If anything, it makes me happy to see the tenderness between them. Knowing how much she’s cared for eases my worry for her when I’m hours away in Georgia. It feels right to bear witness to them together.
I take my bags and make my way upstairs to Harper’s room. The door is still off the hinges, and I have to stifle a laugh at how over the top it was for Declan to do that. Not that it’s surprising.
“Is this going to be a problem for you? Sleeping without a door?” Harper asks. “I don’t know where the key to unlock the storage room is, otherwise, I would have figured out how to put it on myself by now.”
“No, it’s fine.” I turn and open my arms for another hug. “I’m just happy to not have to sleep in a twin size bed for a night.”
“You’d think they’d give athletes extra big beds so you could sleep better.”
“I bet the football team gets them.”
“Jerks.” She growls playfully. “What do you want to do tonight? My friend Emilia works at a restaurant in town I’ve been wanting to check out.”
“That sounds great. I’m excited to meet some of your friends here.”
Declan did a background check on Emilia at the beginning of the year. He didn’t tell Harper, but he did tell me that there weren’t any red flags that came up when he looked into her. I’m not sure why he told me, maybe the growing respect we have for each other and our feelings for Harper.
I anticipate that my news will cause a back slide in the progress we’ve made, but I don’t have it in me to truly care. He can hate me all he wants. At the end of the day, we both just want her to be safe.
“I’ll get changed, and we'll go then.”
I’m sound asleep after a really great night out with Harper when I hear whispered voices in the hallway. I blink several times as I hear them enter the room. Harper is clutching Cy’s hand in hers with worry wrinkling her forehead.
“Sorry to wake you, but can I try something? With Cyrus?” She glances pointedly down at where I’ve flung my feet over the side of the bed to rest them on the floor.
I nod and clear the sleep from my voice. “Of course.”
She pulls Cy closer and I see the same look in his eyes that I’ve seen in hers so many times. It’s a haunting emptiness. Like he’s just a shell of flesh and bone.
She sits down at my feet and tugs Cy down beside her. “This is my safe place.” She links their fingers and rests her head on my knee. “There’s no one steadier and stronger to hold our pain for a few minutes than Banks.”
He looks up at me, seeking confirmation that it’s okay, which of course it is. I don’t ever want to see that look on anyone’s face, let alone someone who might as well be family now. I pat my knee and wait for him to decide.
Harper’s body is already loosening up entirely as it always does. She lifts her hand to the back of my thigh and drops his hand only to cup his jaw and then pull his hair loose from its bun. The dark waves fall over my skin as he lets her guide him.
My fingers move into her silky hair, stroking her scalp to relax her even more. None of us speak. It takes a while until I feel Cyrus begin to loosen up and relax. Harper shoots her gaze up to mine and then over to Cyrus’s head, silently suggesting I do the same to his scalp as I always do for her.
He won’t make eye contact with me, but with each passing minute the tension eases from his frame. Ever so slowly I place my palm over his head, rubbing my fingertips against him in small circles.
Harper looks back and forth between us with glistening eyes. I can feel the joy radiating off her that it seems to be helping Cy. She curls into the fetal position at my feet and rests her head in his lap while he continues to let me hold space quietly for him.
I don’t know how long goes by, but I hear Harper’s breathing even out and deepen. She’s fallen asleep, and it feels like he almost is, too. I stop rubbing his scalp and let him come out of the little trance he’s fallen in.
“I thought she was batshit when she suggested this,” he whispers. “But it really helped.”
“Good. Let me stand up, and I’ll get her off your lap and back into bed.”
He shifts his body, so it’s easier for me to stand up. I bend down and lift her into my arms, pleased at the way she’s a bit heavier than she used to be. Scott always wanted both Harper and her mom to stay a certain size, and he wasn’t afraid of calling them out if they gained weight.
“Can Cy stay with us?” she mumbles sleepily. “I don’t want him to sleep alone tonight.”
“You don’t have to,” he says. “I can go upstairs and work on my art assignments.”
I set Harper down in the middle of the bed and point to the other side of her body. “Get in.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or steal your time.”
“If she’s happy, I’m happy.”
“I’m happy when I’m tucked between two strong guys who make me feel safe.” She yawns. “Please, Cy.”
“Okay.” He unbuttons his shirt and takes off his trousers before sliding in beside her.
She drifts off to sleep first, her soft breathing the only sound in the room. I’m just about to follow her when I hear Cyrus shift.
“Thank you. For whatever the hell that was and letting me sleep here.”
“No problem. I’ve been doing that for Harper for years now. Neither of us really understand it, but it grounds us both. There are times where I need it more than she does.”
“Well, I’ve never been afraid to get on my knees, so let me know if you ever need me to return the favor.” He chuckles quietly. “I didn’t mean for that to sound so slutty.”
I join him with quiet laughter. “No problem. Good night, Cyrus.”
He wishes me a good night back, and then we both lapse into silence. The house is quiet aside from the times when the wind blows, causing the boards to creak around us. I like it here. Enough that I could easily see myself settled in and possibly living here, at the very least being here most weekends. Hopefully everyone listens to me tomorrow with an open mind.