21. Margo
Chapter 21
Margo
“ A re you going to spill, or what?”
“Spill about…”
“Everything, Margo. I think it’s time we talked about your secrets.”
I scowl. “Your bribery isn’t going to work.”
Riley rolls her eyes and reaches into her backseat, revealing a bag from the coffee shop. It’s Saturday morning, approximately two hours after I discovered Caleb had left sometime around dawn.
The fact that he left shouldn’t have surprised me. It’s not like I have a semblance of privacy. As a foster kid, the lack thereof kind of comes with the territory. But him leaving has left me off balance.
Unsettled?
It’s not so much that he came over and made me come. Or that he drove me to the game. Or said there was only me. All things I’m latching on to in an attempt to reconcile this Caleb with the ten-year-old boy I loved.
No, it’s that he still does terrible things to me.
And God help me, but they’re almost forgivable.
Two orgasms and I change my mind about him. That caused some panic. A full-fledged panic attack, actually, when I was in the shower. I gasped and scratched at my hickey-covered chest, trying to remember how to breathe, while warm water poured down on my back.
Once I was dry, I sent Riley an SOS. She showed up not long after, armed with a smile and an excuse for Robert and Lenora.
I open the coffee shop bag and eye the muffin.
“Okay, the bribery might work,” I say.
“Knew it.” Riley grins.
We’re on our way to school, which is hosting a farmers’ market in the parking lot. Apparently, the board of Emery-Rose Elite allows vendors to set up there once a month, and they donate most of the table fee profits back into Rose Hill.
Good visibility for the vendors, good publicity for the school.
“Out with it.” She taps her nail on one of the paper cups between us. “And this coffee is yours.”
See? Bribery totally works.
I shift. “I knew Amelie and Savannah in elementary school. And Caleb, of course.”
“Right. You knew more than just them, I’d reckon.”
“Well, yeah. But they’re the important ones. Amelie said she’s dating Caleb. That he’s her boyfriend. He never mentioned her, though.” I gnaw on my bottom lip. “He snuck into my room last night.”
She gasps. “Excuse me?”
“He’s…” Wicked .
“That’s devious,” she says. “To be one way at school and another after? What is he trying to do? Confuse the hell out of you?”
“I guess. The bullying is over the top, too. Sooner or later, Robert is going to notice.”
She winces as we park in the faculty lot. “Eh, teachers don’t hear everything ?—”
“But they hear enough.”
Across the parking lot, Caleb and his friends walk toward the farmers’ market that’s spread across the student parking lot. There are rows and rows of stands, tents covering the different tables all different colors. It’s bigger than I would’ve imagined.
He’s absorbed in a conversation with Eli. As we watch, Amelie trots over and throws herself at him, a move he narrowly dodges. I’ll give him credit: he makes it seem like a happy accident.
He says something, and she rears back, distain flashing across her face.
“Wonder what that’s about?” I ask. “And why are they here?”
She shakes her head. “They must be bored. And he was just… with you?”
Dread climbs up my throat. “Yeah.”
After we finish the muffins, I take a large gulp of my coffee.
“We don’t have to stay long,” she tells me. “Just say the word, and we’ll go. Hell, we can go right now.”
I wave her off. “I want to see it.”
We head toward the stands, but my attention is drawn to an approaching person. Not one of our usual cohorts—which, admittedly, just contains me, Riley, and occasionally Jacq.
Ian Fletcher.
“What does he want?” I ask under my breath.
Riley finds who I’m looking at. “Oh no.”
“Hey,” Ian calls.
I swear, everyone within earshot stops what they’re doing and stares.
“What’re you going to do now that your fifteen minutes of fame are over?” he continues.
My palms sweat.
Ian keeps coming. “You gonna move on to someone else?”
“Go away, Fletcher,” Riley snaps.
The louder he talks, the more attention he draws. Until students drift in our direction, forming a wide circle around us.
He scoffs, ignoring her and keeping his glare pinned on me. “Keep your whore cunt away from me and my friends. God knows you’ve caused enough damage.”
I lift my chin. “Lucky us, my cunt wants nothing to do with you. Or your friends.”
He pretends to be hurt for a second. It falls away easily, and his expression is just… blank. Frozen. “I’ve been wondering what’d you do to make your coke-whore mom run away. But then I realized! It’s just a fucking personality defect.”
— please don’t go ?—
My ten-year-old voice rings in my ear.
Funny how that’s the button to push that makes me crack.
Ian’s laugh follows me when I bolt. I shove past people and pass the farmers’ market. Riley calls my name, but it’s easier to just leave everything behind. I run across the soccer field and up a path into the woods.
I keep going until my ribs ache and the laughter stops chasing me.
Panting, I lean against a tree.
“That was quite a show. Although, to be fair, I only saw it through my phone.”
I jerk around, pressing my hand to my chest.
Theo stands down the path from me, in the opposite direction of where I came. He walked into the market with Caleb, but he must’ve peeled away. To come out here…
He stubs out a cigarette against a tree and tosses it into the woods, winking at me. “Our little secret, yeah?”
“How did you see it on your phone?”
He flashes his screen at me. Ian’s tinny voice comes out of the speaker. “Live streaming on social media is all the rage for embarrassing moments.”
Great.
“What do you want?” I dab at my face with my sleeve. The tears didn’t fall long enough to make my mascara run or puff up my eyelids.
“What do I want?” He pauses. “I’d love to know why Ian got such a visceral reaction out of you. God knows Caleb’s been trying to do the same for weeks.”
I shrug and look away. “He just touched a nerve.”
“Your mom.”
There’s a gleam in his eye that I don’t like.
I straighten and face him. “If you run back and tell Caleb that’s my secret weakness, I will destroy you.”
He laughs. Laughs . “I’ve always wanted to hear what it would sound like to be threatened by a toddler.”
I turn away from him. “I came out here to be alone. Not…”
“Not accosted by your bully’s best friend?”
I snort.
“I was just heading back. I should’ve offered you a hit before I tossed the joint.” He comes up beside me, offering his arm. “Besides, isn’t this just what you need?”
I squint at him. Of course it wasn’t a cigarette . A star hockey player wouldn’t ruin his body with nicotine and tobacco. Instead, he’s getting high in the woods behind the school. On a Saturday.
“Liam was going to make this offer, but I’m happy I beat him to it,” he says.
I straighten. “What?”
“We walk in there together, pretend to have a newfound interest in each other… It’ll get the cheerleaders off my back, and Caleb will put you on yours.” He grins. “Win-win.”
I swallow. Do I want to play that game?
I did before. I was going to corner Liam and ask. And here’s Theo, offering the very thing I schemed about. I should do it, just to rub in Caleb’s face the fact that he’s dating Amelie.
He’s mine, but he’s not until he breaks up with her.
“It’s a useful trick. Old-school play.” He keeps his arm offered, seeming to know that I’m having an internal debate about it.
“Why are you being nice?”
He scowls. “Who said anything about nice ? Liam isn’t the only one who enjoys getting on Caleb’s nerves.”
I haven’t heard him say more than one sentence to me, and now we’re having a full-blown conversation. About… Caleb . The one person I’d rather not talk about.
“Just admit that the idea of him and Amelie is driving you nuts,” he says softly. “And let’s do something about it.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Are you into her?”
“Me?”
“Why else would you want to get on his nerves, if not about Amelie? Or do you hate her?”
“I don’t hate Amelie,” he answers. “And I’m not into her. But…”
But, what? The way he stops has me grinding my teeth in frustration. I don’t like not knowing things, and this seems like a juicy secret.
“We’re not here to discuss this,” he finishes.
The wall he usually hides behind is back. The time to decide is now.
I take his arm. “If this goes badly—it was all your idea.”
He winks. “Whatever you say, sweetheart.”
This is not going to end well.
He glances at his watch as we walk across the soccer field. “Not necessarily the best timing. But good enough for me.”
There are a lot of people at this farmers’ market. More than I thought would show up on a Saturday morning. There’s a food truck parked in the corner with a long line, and almost all the vendors are packed.
The silence comes in waves. First the people closest to us, and then the screeching halt of the rest of the crowd rolls down like dominoes. He leads me down the first row of vendors, glancing in them with a casualness I try to embody.
“Pretend you like me,” he says through his teeth.
Clearly, I’m failing.
I swallow my apprehension and inch closer, smiling up at him. “You look like you swallowed a box of staples.”
He laughs. Loudly .
And somehow, he manages to ignore everyone else around us. We turn a corner, to the picnic tables the smokers usually occupy at lunch and after school. There are no smokers there today—just Caleb, with Amelie perched beside him. Eli. Liam. And Ian fucking Fletcher.
I really hate that guy.
My grip on Theo’s arm tightens, and he pats my fingers. It’s not really comforting, but he doesn’t seem bothered.
They notice us one at a time.
Liam’s eyebrows skyrocket.
Eli does a double take.
Amelie is talking, fiddling with Caleb’s sleeve. She spots us, and her jaw drops.
Then Caleb, but I can’t even look at him.
Murmurs break out around us.
“You know,” Theo whispers, tipping his head toward mine, “you’re really putting a wrench in the middle of my friend group.”
“Did I walk into a trap?” He’s quite a bit taller than Caleb. “Is your plan to say, ‘Ha, ha, I tricked Margo?’”
He smiles. “Not at all.”
And then Caleb is on us, shoving Theo away from me. The force of it must surprise Theo, because he staggers backward. I get the impression that Theo isn’t one easily moved. He releases me, though, so I don’t get dragged with him.
Theo’s face transforms into a mask of anger, and he lunges forward. I don’t even think he’s that mad at Caleb—they just want an excuse to hit each other.
Someone pulls me out of the way.
I glance back, surprised at the firm grip that tows me around the market, back toward the cars.
Amelie?
Her full, painted lips are pressed into a flat line, and she doesn’t relent until we’re well away from the idiots fighting.
“What was that for?” I yank my arm out of her manicured hands.
“What are you doing?” She glares daggers at me.
“Me? I’m just standing with Theo and your boyfriend goes nuts.” This is what you wanted , I remind myself. “Maybe you should’ve dragged him out here to ask him why he’s so bothered?—”
“Oh, drop the act, Margo.” She looks away. “We all know that he only sees you.”
Her mean-girl bravado is not all it’s cracked up to be.
“I don’t want him to only see me.”
I’m lying. I’m so lying.
It’s why I agreed to walk in on Theo’s arm in the first place, right? To urge Caleb toward breaking up with her. If I’m throwing a wrench in their friend group, it isn’t without help.
Amelie shakes her head. “It’s sad, you know?”
I tilt my head.
“That he would pick you over… Well, over everyone. You’re not worth it, Margo.”
Ouch.
She continues. “He didn’t fight for you. Remember that when he’s promising you the world. Shit gets real, and he gets lost.”
We both turn toward a commotion at the end of the closest row, and I step away from her. It’s not safe standing next to a viper—never has been, never will be.
But I either believe her or I trust my gut.
What happens if they’re telling me the same thing?
Caleb strides toward me, ignoring the teacher who’s following him. I expect him to go for Amelie. After all, they’re dating. Maybe he’ll shove her up against the lockers and kiss her right in front of me, just to drive the knife in deeper.
He touched me. He’s done wicked things to my body. To my mind.
And yet.
He didn’t fight for you. Remember that.
I watch Amelie as he gets closer. She doesn’t seem afraid… just resigned.
And then he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me along with him. I squeak, suddenly moving, but he just snarls under his breath.
I cast a glance behind me. Amelie leans on the hood of a car, her head tipped back.
Then it’s too late. He unlocks his and yanks the door open, shoving me inside. I start to scramble out— this is kidnapping —but he blocks my way and leans in.
Ooh, he’s furious.
“Stay.”
I roll my eyes but fold myself back in the car. He slams the door and circles it as Riley rushes up to his vehicle.
“She’s not feeling well,” he tells her. “I’m taking her home.”
“Yeah, right.” Riley scowls. “You okay, Margo?”
I give her a thumbs-up. There’s a slim possibility of ending up dead in a ditch, I suppose… But I trust that Caleb won’t be that irrational.
He guns it out of the parking lot. His anger takes up most of the oxygen, but the longer it remains, the madder I get.
He finally turns off the road at an overlook, and I leap out. He follows me, watching like a lion waiting to fucking pounce. I have electricity in my veins, energy that has to come out.
“Not cool.” I rub my arms.
“Not cool ?” He scowls at me. “What the fuck, Margo?”
I stare at him. “What the fuck ? Like I’m supposed to just sit on the sidelines and watch you date my ex-friend? Talk about hypocrisy! Let me live my life if you won’t make room in yours for me.”
“You can’t live with Theo.” He paces in front of me. His hands rake through his hair, tugging at the strands. “I can’t do this. I can’t?—”
“Oh, fuck you, Caleb.” Can’t do it . He’s getting on my ever-loving last nerve. I kick at the ground, gravel scattering ahead of me. “Can’t do what ?”
He stalks toward me. “How did you crawl under my skin so easily?”
I back away, but he keeps coming.
“I’ll swear to God, Margo, I have the urge to kill whoever touches you. I don’t give a flying fuck if they’re a friend, because all that matters is how I can possess you. My touch. My words. You’re mine.”
He said it. He said I’m his—but does he mean it when he doesn’t show it? My brain is stuck on that fact.
My dad used to say: People will show you who they really are. Believe them .
What has Caleb done for me? All his actions are against me.
I shove him away from me, my temper flaring. The asshole barely moves.
“You’re right, Caleb. You can be the big, bad control freak while you kiss your girlfriend a-and cheat on her. I’m not a puppet whose strings you can jerk around.”
His face is dark, and he stops abruptly in front of me. His expression is… pained . That’s the only way I can describe it. Pained or devastated.
He cups my cheek. His thumb strokes across my lips. “I don’t want to pull your strings, baby. I want to cut them.”
The air leaves my lungs in a rush.
His hand falls away from me, and he goes back to the car, the conversation apparently over.
The slight fear of him leaving me here, like he left me at his house, gnaws at me. I get in the car before he can bark at me, and we’re once again entombed in silence.
Finally, I glance over at him. “You can’t just…”
I stop, frustrated with myself. With him . What is he trying to do, isolate me?
Yes, that’s probably exactly what he wants.
“I’m not an island that you can fortify,” I murmur. “I’m a person.”
He glowers at me. “You might think so, little lamb, but you’re mine . No one else’s. Stop fucking testing me.”
I don’t have anything to say to that.
Stop fucking testing me . Sure—as soon as he loses the girlfriend. Eh, even then… maybe not. Still, he might throw me out of the car if I argue, and weariness tugs at my bones. He drives me back to the Bryans’ house, shadowing me up to the front door like a hulking bodyguard.
I slip inside without a word.
He might’ve won this battle, but he won’t win the war.