Chapter 21
Callum
Once I finish searching Lucy’s apartment, I drive my bike back to the hotel and park. If not for nabbing those three bastards who broke in, the whole trip would’ve been a big waste of time.
My head’s clearer, but my body aches in multiple places, and I definitely collected a few scrapes that could use some TLC.
Right now, the only thing on my mind is that wallet.
Shane keeps riding my ass about finding the damn thing, and Viktor Roguilin is willing to abduct and potentially harm, even kill, Lucy over it. Underhanded or not, the safest option is to remove the wallet from her possession.
Unfortunately, I still know absolutely nothing regarding its whereabouts. Lucy hasn’t said anything to indicate she’s even sitting on something this massive, and my latest apartment search was a bust.
By the time I return to our suite, part of me is wondering whether the thing even exists.
I rub my head and check the time. I should try to sleep. It’s almost four in the morning, and I usually wake up by six or seven. But I’m too wired. My entire body buzzes with residual adrenaline.
What I need is a hard fuck. Since that’s out of the question, I’d settle for a long shower, but the bathroom’s in Lucy’s bedroom.
Instead, I head for the half bath and settle for sponging off.
After scrubbing the easily accessible parts of my body with soap and water and dirtying more than one towel, I dress my cuts and bruises from tonight’s brawl. Nothing life-threatening. Just a few scratches and scrapes on my hands and arms from broken glass.
I’m about to hit the couch when a cry from Lucy’s room sends me barreling toward her door. I burst inside, heart slamming against my ribs.
She’s thrashing around under the covers, sobbing in her sleep.
A cold wave of relief douses my worry, allowing my pulse to settle. There’s no danger. She’s just caught in the middle of a nightmare.
I switch on the lamp, but Lucy doesn’t wake.
Sweat dampens her face, and her expression scrunches up with fear and pain. “No…” Tears drip from her closed eyes. “Please, no.”
Her pleading splinters my heart. What the fuck is tormenting her? Whatever mental hellscape she’s trapped in ends now.
I reach for her shoulders and gently shake. “Lucy, wake up.”
Her eyes fly open. “No!” Her hands rise defensively to her face.
“Marlow, calm down.” Christ, she’s shaking. “It’s okay. It’s just me. You’re safe.”
Slowly, very slowly, Lucy lowers her arms and blinks. “C-Callum? What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I sit next to her on the bed. “You were having a nightmare. You screamed. I heard you from the other room. Thought someone might be in here, hurting you.”
She shrinks against the mattress, ducking her head in a very un-Lucy-like manner. Not confrontational or brash whatsoever.
“Sorry,” she whispers.
“Don’t apologize.” My voice is way too harsh. Why do I sound so upset with her? My nerves must still be recovering. “What were you dreaming about?”
She shakes her head, fresh tears clinging to her lashes.
Shit. I shouldn’t have asked.
Standing up, I reach for her lamp. “Go back to sleep.”
She grabs my forearm to stop me. I meet her frightened gaze. Trembling still, she retracts her hands, tucking them beneath the covers.
I hate seeing her this afraid. The sight triggers a desperate compulsion to slay her demons for her. The fact that she doesn’t trust me enough to tell me about them is a kick in the gut, but I can’t blame her. I earned her mistrust.
I’m about to leave when her soft voice freezes me in my tracks. “Callum…could you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
I answer without thinking. “Of course.”
For a second, we just gaze at each other in stunned silence. Then she rolls onto her left side, facing away from me.
I sit on the bed. She asked me to stay…now what? I can’t exactly crawl under the covers and spoon her until she drifts off to sleep, but if I get up and cross the room to the armchair in the corner, will my presence still comfort her? Watching her from afar isn’t the same as staying with her.
“Thank you.” Her words are so soft, I almost miss them.
They stab me straight in my chest and cement me in place.
Guess that’s it. Nothing short of an armed invasion could pull me away.
I’ll stay right here until she returns to dreamland.
Seconds stretch into minutes with neither of us uttering a peep. It’s quiet. Too quiet. I’m so used to arguing with her that all this silence throws me for a loop.
Lucy fusses with the covers, yanking them up to her armpits.
I glance at the lamp. “Do you want me to turn off the light?”
She stills. “No. Please don’t.” She releases a slow breath, irritation clear in her voice. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t sleep anyway.”
“Because of the nightmare?”
She rolls onto her back and blinks up at me. “I can’t sleep with you in here.”
“I’ll go then.” I start to rise, but her words stop me again.
“No, I want you here.” Lucy’s eyes round, like she’s surprised herself. “No. That’s not…what I mean is…” She covers her face with a hand. “Sorry.”
“I thought I told you not to apologize to me.” The words come out too harsh. Fuck. I’m not angry with her. I’m just frustrated because I don’t know how to help. With no control over the situation, I feel powerless.
“I’m not used to anybody being…in my room with me at night.” Her soft voice trails off, an embarrassed glow adding color to her face. “That’s all I meant.”
“No sleepovers, huh?”
She shudders. “Don’t even joke about that.”
“Joke about what?”
“Never mind.” Her gaze drifts around the bedroom. Suddenly, she’s interested in everything except me.
In any other situation, the slight pout on her face would draw a laugh from me.
Her expression reminds me so much of Deirdre.
My sister used to be afraid of thunderstorms, but she’d never admit it.
Even when she was terrified and wanted me to stay with her until she fell asleep, pride kept her from confessing her fears.
The warm nostalgia dripping through me vanishes when Lucy kicks off the covers, revealing her bare legs. I avert my gaze and redirect the errant path of my thoughts. “Well, if you can’t fall asleep on your own, do you want me to help you?”
Lucy’s eyes snap to mine. “Help me what?”
“Fall asleep.”
“How?”
I only know of one way to help someone sleepless get some rest. Okay, two, but I doubt Lucy will agree to me giving her an orgasm as a method of sleep induction.
She chooses that moment to nibble her lower lip, triggering memories of our kiss. Of how I nipped that enticing lip with my own teeth. I shift my weight, trying to prevent my dick from continuing to rise. Bad idea, picturing Lucy in the throes of pleasure. Time to shift gears.
What was I thinking about? Right. My sister and her sleep issues. This “other” method worked on my sister and me, so maybe it’ll work for Lucy too. But it would require her to trust me in an entirely new way.
Fuck it. “If you lay your head in my lap, I’ll rub your back and neck. Used to put my little sister to sleep in a matter of minutes.”
Her eyes round again. With the shadows from the lamp, I can’t quite discern her expression. I hope it’s not disgust.
She swallows. “Move over.”
A tight little ball forms somewhere behind my ribs.
How does she have that effect on me?
I scoot to my right, relaxing against the headboard.
After a moment or two of cautious maneuvering, Lucy lowers herself back down on the bed, using my left quad as a pillow.
The weight of her head, the intimacy of this instant, warms me from the inside out.
While I don’t regret this bright idea of mine, I’m terrified of how this one simple act of trust shudders through my entire being.
Such a simple gesture shouldn’t feel so monumental.
With Lucy’s neck curved around my thigh, it takes a huge amount of self-control not to bury my hand in her soft, purple-streaked hair. With my heart thundering, I mold my palm to her back and start rubbing in small, gentle circles.
This triggers memories. Like I told Lucy, I did this with Deirdre all the time when we were young. As her older brother, I was the brave one who calmed her after a bad dream. Our rooms were at the same end of the hall, opposite one another.
Start at the shoulders. Travel down either side of the spine. Slow motions. Nothing rushed. Just calming, repetitive, hypnotic motions.
At first, tension holds Lucy rigid against my leg. But soon enough, her muscles relax beneath my palm, my soothing movements leaving her pliant.
“Feels good.” Her voice slurs a little.
Lust jolts through me, racing straight to my dick. What the hell was I thinking? This is nothing like how it used to feel with my sister. I can only hope Lucy doesn’t notice the giant erection inches away from her head.
I’m hyperaware of each minute shift of her body. Every quiet sigh. Every breath. My skin tingles as I stroke her through the thin pajama top.
I want to touch more. Move my hand farther down her body, or up to tease her hair. Trace the shell of her ear. Feel her bare skin beneath my fingers.
A growing part of me wishes that I had climbed under the covers and held her close. Maybe then…we both could’ve fallen asleep like this.
Relax. This is just my job. I’m keeping her safe from her dreams.
Yeah, right. I can’t even convince myself.
Lucy releases a quiet sigh. “Callum.”
I lean over to whisper back. “Yes?”
But she doesn’t reply. When I peek at her sleeping face, I find her lashes kissing her cheeks. Her breaths deepen as she drifts into unconsciousness.
I thump my head against the wall and groan.
I’m so incredibly fucked.