Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Mackenzie
After the meeting, Savannah, Sawyer, and I hang out with Eilish in the lounge.
They convinced me to stay out a little longer. I felt I could use the company after the run-in with Tiffany. And really, what am I going back to my apartment for? To be alone with my worries?
Not the best idea.
I’m sitting cross-legged next to Eilish on the oversized couch, while Savannah and Sawyer are in front of us on the fluffy white Persian rug.
The two of them are dressed in matching Van Halen T-shirts and ripped jeans, and their hair is in a messy bun style. Like this, they’re almost impossible to tell apart.
Sometimes, not even their parents know who’s who. They’re forever swapping places, which doesn’t help.
They’ve been doing this crazy thing since high school where they swap nonstop throughout the day. They’ve swapped on exams both practical and written, doctor’s appointments, and even dates, so they both dated the same guys. None of which knew they were twins.
I’ve felt it must be like wishing there were two of you when you wanted to get twice the amount of work done.
Savannah has been telling us about her trip to Europe over the summer and the adventure she had when she got stuck in an elevator with Killian Knight, the lead singer of the rock band The Whispers.
“You lucky bitch. Why are we just hearing this now?” Eilish winces, throwing a handful of popcorn at her. She’s a Whispers fan. Most of us are, but Eilish is obsessed. “We’ve been back at Raventhorn for nearly two weeks, and you didn’t think you should share this piece of news?”
“I didn’t want to boast,” Savannah replies with a coy girly giggle.
“Are you kidding me? That’s the sort of thing you shout from the rooftop.”
“That’s exactly what I said,” Sawyer jumps in.
“Where were you when this happened?” I ask.
“At the farmhouse in Russia watching cows give birth with my grandma.”
We all laugh. Sawyer and Savannah always have the most hilarious excuses and stories.
“How did you get stuck doing that?” Eilish asks, nibbling on some popcorn.
“We swapped places,” Sawyer replies, and she and Savannah chuckle. “I suppose it serves me right. I was supposed to be going to Italy with our Dad to meet our relatives. I love my family, but damn, they get on my nerves sometimes.”
“So, I went instead and ended up getting stuck with Killian Knight,” Savannah swoons.
“Girl, tell us what happened.” Eilish shakes her fist. “That guy is soooo freaking hot.”
“I was stuck with him for three hours. He was so nice to me. He was telling me about the new songs he wrote and the band’s upcoming tour. Of course, I made sure I got backstage passes for all of us.”
“You did!” Eilish is so excited, the popcorn jumps in the tub when she does.
“I sure did.”
“Oh. I love you.” Eilish slides off the sofa and gives Savannah a big hug.
I hug her, too, when Eilish is done, then we return to the sofa.
“It’s nice to have something to look forward to,” I say, trying to sound like my usual self.
“Well, some of us have a lot more to look forward to than others,” Savannah says, and she and Sawyer give Eilish an accusing stare.
I must have missed something, but anything like that will have something to do with Lucian Sokolov, Eilish’s supposed best friend who we know she’s secretly in love with.
He’s in Russia for a placement at his family’s company. He’ll be back in January.
From the blush spreading across Eilish’s cheeks, I can tell my assumption is right. This is about Lucian.
“I don’t know what you mean.” Eilish waves her hand, brushing off the notion.
“We heard you on the phone yesterday talking to Lucian.” Sawyer giggles.
“Sounded like a pretty heated conversation to me,” Savannah jumps in.
Eilish’s face turns as red as the fire extinguisher on the wall. “You guys were listening in on me?”
“You told us to come by, but it seemed like you forgot, so we didn’t disturb you.”
“So, you eavesdropped instead?” Eilish gives them a wide-eyed stare, but I know she’s not angry. Embarrassed, yes, but never angry.
“Well, we wouldn’t call it that.”
The two of them fall into a series of giggles again that sounds like a coven of cackling witches.
“What’s the story, Eilish? What’s happening with you guys? You do know we’d all be happy if you and Lucian ever got together.” Savannah gives her a wistful grin.
“I know. But we’re not… there yet.”
“Sounded like you were yesterday.”
“How about we see what happens when he gets back?”
That’s new. Usually, Eilish would shoot down any talk of her and Lucian getting together straightaway. Now it’s looking like a possibility if she’s saying that.
I’d be thrilled for them if they got together. Many of us have been routing for that since high school. We’ve all known each other since we were kids running around in the playground.
I remember she was always with Lucian. Always together. If they weren’t holding hands, the other wasn’t too far behind.
They were just like Dmitri and me. There wasn’t a day that went by when I wasn’t holding his hand, even when we weren’t exactly little kids anymore.
He’d hold my hand just because that’s what we did. People were too scared of him to tease us. It was painful to let go after the incident.
God… everything reminds me of him.
Even this conversation that is in no way about Dmitri and me.
The door opens suddenly, making us jump. We all look ahead to find Logan standing in the doorway like a bull in the ring, his eyes fixed on Savannah.
“ You ,” he grates out, pointing at her.
He marches into the room, the vein on the side of his neck pulsing.
He stops right in front of us, and my hopes spark as I instinctively look at the door to check if Dmitri is with him.
He’s not.
I return my focus to Logan, noting he looks pissed as fuck.
Savannah and Sawyer stand, looking guilty, and I don’t have to wonder if they’ve done something to piss him off.
Last week, Isabelle told me Savannah and Logan were paired up for a project. I knew that was the start of a war.
Logan may have that suave facade going because he looks similar to Henry Cavil in The Witcher . He has those cool face tattoos the girls swoon over and credentials like being part of the elite and coming from a filthy rich Knight family with money as old as the earth. But people also know he’s scary as hell and is the kind of unhinged crazy you’d expect to see in the villain in a twisted psychological thriller that haunts you for the rest of your life.
“What do you want?” Savannah tries to sound ballsy, but she looks and sounds like a mouse in comparison to his six-foot-four stature.
She’s as tall as me, and he’s as tall as Dmitri.
“Are you serious right now? Your little game messed up our project.”
Eilish and I exchange curious glances.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Savannah sets her hands on her hips.
“If you’d turned up last night instead of sending your sister, you’d know.”
Instantly, I know they must have done the swapping thing again. Savannah’s mouth drops, but she tries to school her expression.
“I didn’t send my sister. I was there with you the whole time.”
“Like fuck you were. Sawyer was with me while you were God knows where.”
“That’s not true.”
“It’s true. Stop lying. That little game won’t work with me. Now we have to do the whole damn thing again. Do you know why? Do you remember what you did?”
He has her stumped.
Finally, she accepts defeat and looks at Sawyer. “What did you do?”
Sawyer’s eyes go wide, and she bites the inside of her lip. “I may have, potentially, possibly deleted the files from the mainframe containing the company records.”
“Oh my God, Sawyer, why didn’t you tell me?” Savannah’s face goes ghostly pale.
“I’m so sorry. Look, I’m just gonna go. But I hope you guys can fix it. I have faith in you.” She’s out of the room before anyone can say another word.
Savannah looks back at Logan, who now has his arms folded, the sneer on his face more pronounced. “How did you know she wasn’t me?”
“I always know.” His smile is maddening, almost psychotic. “I’m talking to you right now, aren’t I?”
“I could be Sawyer.” She always does that when she’s been called out on their game.
Logan leans into her personal space. “But you’re not. You’re Savannah, my little sea witch. You do that thing with your mouth.”
She looks taken aback and touches her lips. “What thing with my mouth?”
“The thing that’s perfect for sucking cock.” He answers the question as if he’s talking about the weather.
Like Savannah, Eilish and I are both shocked by his answer.
“You are such a vile asshole.”
“And you are coming with me. Now .”
“Where?”
“Just come.” Like a beast, he whirls around and heads back through the door.
She casts us a worried glance before she follows him.
Eilish and I look at each other again.
“Well, wasn’t that something? And very entertaining.” She chuckles. “I thought I had the crazy life.”
I smile back at her. “Apparently not. I’m definitely never bored here.”
“Me neither.” She looks me over and sets the bowl of popcorn between us. “Are you okay, Mackenzie?”
It’s not surprising she picked up that I’m not my usual self. Of everyone, we’re most similar. “I’ve seen better days.”
“You know that’s the very reason I exist as the student counselor.” She nods with enthusiasm. “But more importantly, I’m your friend.”
She’s also a psychology student. I’m sure she’d have a field day Psych 101ing me.
“I’m just going through a weird time.”
“Is it stuff I can help with?”
“Not really. It’s the kind of dark, deep stuff you wish you didn’t have to go through.”
The lighthearted glow fades from her expression, replaced by a look of seriousness that mirrors my own. “I’ve gone through stuff like that, too. Past and present.”
I nod, understanding. I remember hearing something I shouldn’t have heard once about her real family—she’s adopted. I heard that her whole family had been massacred and she was found in the house with them, hiding. When a Knight family—the family she has now—adopted her, she didn’t speak for over a year.
No one knows what happened to her real family or who killed them. It’s one of those unsolved mysteries. A little like mine.
“If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me.” She gives me a soft smile.
“I will.” I release a heavy sigh and glance at the clock. It’s ten. “I better get to bed. I haven’t been sleeping so well.”
“Go. Get some rest, then.”
I stand but turn back to face her with a question on my mind. “When did you know you had feelings for Lucian?”
Her cheeks flush, and she gives me a one-shouldered shrug. “Always.” She nods and gives me a reflective smile. “When did you know you had feelings for Dmitri?”
Her question throws me, but It’s not all that surprising. I guess it’s one of those things where it takes one to know one. She’s watched me and Dmitri all our lives the way I watched her and Lucian.
“Always,” I reply easily, appreciating the honesty and openness we have between us.
Eilish’s smile widens, and she presses a hand to her heart. “I think that counts for something.”
I answer with a little smile, then I head out of the room knowing she’s watching me. There’s so much I could say, but it’s best I don’t.
While it’s great that I know I’ve always had feelings for Dmitri, and yes, it does count for something, the difference between Eilish and me is I have no chance of a future with the boy I love.
I make it to my apartment, shower and change for bed, and as I lie down and rest my head on the pillow, Dmitri floats back into my mind.
I close my eyes and try to pick away all the bad parts of my memories so I can rest. As soon as I do, I drift away into a deep slumber, but then darkness wraps around me like a smothering blanket.
It’s thick and endless and heavy, pressing down on my chest, and the silence around me is alive, pulsing in my ears like a warning.
I’m back there again.
Back in the nightmare. In the land of nowhere and everywhere.
I’m so familiar with this place I welcome the choking terror. And I know what comes next.
A shard of light splits the darkness in two and fractures my surroundings, pulling me along with it.
“I see you.” That haunting voice taunts my mind. “Come here to me.”
My heart hammers in my chest, and I run. I want to scream, but the sound dies in my throat, swallowed whole by the oppressive fear draining the life from me.
Another flash, brighter this time. Shadows and light ripple around me.
“I see you.” That haunting voice returns.
Suddenly, pain lances through my body, raw and unrelenting, but I can’t remember why or how I got hurt.
I try to move, but I’m paralyzed, trapped in this fractured moment. The flashes come faster now, like a strobe light, disorienting and cruel.
Then I’m falling into nothing. My body shakes, my insides quiver, my soul screams.
“I see you.”
I land into darkness darker than ever, and I’m broken.
Then a face appears. It’s vague, out of focus, but still somehow terrifying.
It’s a man. But I’ve never seen him here before.
His features blend with the haze, and his hollow eyes glare at me.
There’s nothing in them. Nothing human.
He rushes up to me, getting ready to kill me.
I scream and jump out of my sleep into the dim light of my room.
My chest is heaving, and I’m gasping for breath. Frantically, I look around, searching for him. The face. The man.
It’s not until my breathing stills that I manage to calm myself, reassured that I’m safe and no one is coming after me.
Then I realize something. I realize what just happened in my nightmare, what I just saw.
My nightmares have never shown me that face before.
That man.
Oh my God…
Am I starting to remember?