Chapter 19 – Reese #2
I wasn’t sure why I was protecting my heart so hard when it was just a shriveled up, rotten thing lying half-dead in my chest. There really wasn’t much worth protecting anymore.
“Okay.” He rubbed his thumb under my eye and held me captive in his gaze. I thought maybe he was seeing through every single lie, peering over every wall, looking past all the bullshit I’d put in place because right now I felt stripped.
Naked and vulnerable and—
And what scared me the most was that all I wanted was for someone to hold me.
Him. I wanted him to hold me.
A horrible sound bubbled up from deep inside me, a terrible, wretched thing that scraped up my throat and clawed its way out of my mouth.
He looked panicked for a split second, and it was funny to me that my tears were sending him into a panic.
A laugh broke through the awful sound coming out of me, and god, I sounded as crazy as I felt.
And then his arms were around me, his hand cradling the back of my head and pressing my face into his neck.
He started rubbing my back with his other hand, heavy, firm strokes that kept pressing me harder into his body and the relief—the relief of being held like I meant something to someone was devastating.
Something broke in me then.
Like a cord pulled taut, snapping under too much pressure.
I sobbed into Dakota’s skin. My fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, squeezing and trembling as my body struggled to breathe through the awful sounds being wrenched from me.
I vaguely heard Dakota’s voice as he murmured things to me, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying over my wheezing and crying.
His hands were holding me together, keeping me tethered, and the flood of emotions pouring from my soul rushed away from me.
As the gut-wrenching sobs began to ease up, this lightness started to envelop me. Like my bones were made of feathers instead of bricks, like I’d expelled some nasty, heavy sludge that had built up in my body over years and years.
“It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m right here, darling. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
I finally heard what Dakota was murmuring quietly, over and over again as he stroked that firm, heavy hand up and down my back.
It made me want to break all over again.
I felt boneless and weightless in his arms, and I just wanted to curl up and go to sleep.
“Feel better?”
My nose pricked and my eyes started to water again, and I squeezed myself into him, trying to will away the tears. The sound of something ripping made me pause, and I drew away to look at the collar of his shirt.
That I’d just ripped.
When I glanced up, Dakota’s eyes were taking in every inch of my face, serious and full of concern.
“I…” I looked down at his shirt again, at my tears sliding into the hollow at the base of his throat and the light smattering of dark hair that had been revealed.
Dakota tipped his chin down to look at his shirt, then started laughing. “Why are you so strong?”
“Well—I mean, why are all your clothes made of paper?!”
“They’re definitely not, you’re just a mini Hulk.” He smirked at me, bringing his hands up to my face and wiping away the wetness. Then he pulled something out of his pocket and started dabbing my face with it.
“You just keep an endless supply of tissues in your pocket?”
“Never know when you’re gonna need a quick jerk off. Don’t worry, this one’s clean.”
“Ugh,” I said, grabbing the tissue from him and wiping my own face off.
I felt gross.
And good.
I felt so, so good.
“Feel better?” he asked again. His hands were on my thighs now, thumbs rubbing little circles just above my knees. His face was so close to mine. There was so much to look at, so many beautiful pieces that made up the whole.
I thought maybe I could stare at him for hours and never once get bored.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
Another truth.
Suddenly, I wanted to tell him all my truths.
Dakota’s eyes flitted down to my mouth and stayed there. And because I wanted to reach out and touch his face, I did. I splayed my hand over his cheek, and his eyes slid shut as he leaned into my touch with a soft hum.
It was addicting, how much he liked my touch.
My heart tripped up and missed a few beats as I took in those dark lashes fanning across his cheeks. All those freckles broken by that jagged scar. Lips that said the most ridiculous, annoying things.
I slid my thumb down to his mouth, pressing it into the freckle in the corner.
His eyes opened and burned into mine. He turned his head a little, just enough that my thumb could slip between his parted lips.
He bit down on my knuckle, his tongue laving against the pad, and a harsh breath shuddered out of me.
Heat exploded through my body as I watched him play with my thumb, that pink tongue drawing it inside, those full lips closing over it as he sucked.
“Guuh.” The sound burst out of me and I jolted forward as a shockwave of pleasure erupted through my body. My forehead smacked into his, and I reared back. “Fuck.”
Dakota laughed and covered my hand with his, then turned his head and kissed my palm. His eyes were glittering when they met mine. “I’m so fucking hard for you right now,” he said in the huskiest, sexiest voice I’d ever heard.
Heat ignited across my face in an instant, and the way Dakota’s eyes devoured my blush made me dizzy.
“Me crying makes you hard?” I said hoarsely.
His laugh and the smile that stretched across his face were so endearing I wanted to eat him.
“Maybe.” He sobered up and tilted his head. “Please let me kiss you,” he whispered. “I can’t think about anything else anymore.”
Neither can I.
Right then, nothing else existed except Dakota, his eyes, his lips, the heat of his body, his desperation and blunt honesty.
His kindness and his laughter.
Those filthy, dirty lips that kept teasing me and taunting me and telling me wonderful, horrible things.
I stared at his lips and thought those are mine. They were always meant for me.
Weren’t they?
There was a roaring in my ears as I leaned forward. Dakota tilted his head up to me, just a little more, just enough until—
Bang bang bang bang bang!
“You’re ten minutes over, what the hell!” someone shouted outside.
I jerked my head back, then laughed at how annoyed Dakota looked.
“Let’s go,” I said, standing and putting my violin away.
Dakota grumbled something, but packed up his violin and followed me out into the hall. He glared down at the kid who’d interrupted us, and I choked on a surprised laugh. I’d never really seen him glare at anyone, but him being pissed at this kid because he’d stolen our moment was pretty funny.
“Come on, let’s—” I paused, my good humor fading at the expression on Dakota’s face as he stared down at me.
His eyes were fastened to my mouth, his lips parted as he stood frozen.
“Dakota?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and it was my turn to look at his mouth when he licked his lips.
“You’re freaking me out, why are you staring at me like that?”
“Your teeth are really sharp.”
What?
“Okay…does that bother you or something?”
He brought his hand up to my mouth and slid my upper lip up, all his attention focused on my teeth, for whatever reason.
I jerked my head away from him, shaking his hands loose, and scowled up at him. “What the fuck are you doing, you weirdo?”
The slow smile that stretched across his face made my heart pound.
“I’ve never heard you laugh. Or seen you smile. So I never knew you had really sharp teeth. Figures, though, with the way you bit me. You’re not a tiger, you’re a piranha.”
I had no idea what to say to that. All I could do was stare at him, and he stared at me, still smiling. And when he raised his hand again, setting his fingers beneath my chin and rubbing his thumb across my bottom lip, I let him.
“I really like your smile,” he said softly. “It’s kinda scary. Like you.”
I watched him as he stared at my mouth, completely baffled by this man who seemed to like me no matter what he discovered.
When someone bumped into him, it shook him from his thoughts, and he let go of my chin to pull on my elbow.
“Come on. Let’s go get something to eat.”