47. I’m Perfectly Fine
I’M PERFECTLY FINE
Axel
Cordelia’s white dress lifted up her tan thighs when she bent to take her turn at the pool table. A tiny peek of her ass showed, and memories of gripping each full cheek while we fooled around rushed through my mind.
There was a time when I would have been mesmerized and even a little tortured by the sight and those memories. The girl was hot. No doubt about it.
But after being with Lorelei, I was beginning to think my feelings for Cordelia hadn’t run as deep as I’d thought. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be obsessively thinking about blondie right now.
Did I love Lorelei?
I wasn’t sure, or maybe I was afraid to admit it after what happened with the last girl I claimed to love.
When Cordi sank the solid red ball, she jumped up on her tiptoes. “I can’t believe I made that.”
“I can’t either,” Gage muttered as he sat on a swivel stool in one of Sigma Delta’s game rooms with his back leaning against the burnished wood bar.
Slate groaned and let his pool stick fall back to his side. “Why do I let you hustle me every time?”
Cordelia scoffed. “It’s not hustling when you know I’m good at pool.”
“Your hot body confuses me.” Slate meandered toward the bar, set his stick down, and grabbed a bottle of expensive vodka. “I forget things around you. Tell her it’s true, Axel. Cordi has some kind of magic juju that turns guys into idiots.”
He could be right because I became a fucking idiot for that girl.
Cordi’s head snapped in my direction as I loitered in the doorway, her glossy lips curving into a smile that used to hypnotize me in seconds. “Hi, Ax. I didn’t know you were there.”
I crossed the threshold and headed for the bar. “I was just walking by and heard you guys.”
That was a lie. When I asked Killian if he’d seen his girl’s best friend, he told me Cordelia had wandered off with Slate. Gage shot me a text when he found them in the game room.
“You and Lorelei finally decide to come up for air?” Slate grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. “You two have been fucking like bunnies lately.”
Cordelia angled away, her purple locks falling across her face to cover her expression, but the sudden droop to her shoulders made it clear Slate’s remarks had affected her.
Would she admit to having feelings for me now that she wasn’t hammered?
Slate poured himself a shot and held one out for Cordelia. “I’ll need to borrow some money and dignity if Cordi keeps beating me.”
She sashayed over with a forced smile and took the glass from his outstretched hand. “Don’t be such a sore loser. And we both know you never had any dignity.”
He spit out some of the liquor as he laughed. “That’s true.”
Before Cordi could take her shot Gage reached over, snatched it from her hand, and downed it.
“What the hell, you Neanderthal?” Her hands propped onto her hips. “Why’d you do that?”
Gage shrugged, his expression unreadable. “You’ve had plenty of shots. I’m saving you from another near-death experience involving your drunk ass walking into traffic.”
Rage flashed in her green eyes as they narrowed. “Go to hell, Gage.” She stormed back to the pool table, leaned over, and slammed the eight ball in the corner pocket while glaring at the brooding guy. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“Damn it!” Slate raked his hand through his dark locks. “There goes another L on my scorecard.”
Gage didn’t seem affected by her death stare as he slowly stood and grabbed Slate’s arm. “Let’s get some food. You should sober up before our meeting later.” He nodded in my direction, obviously getting Slate out so I could speak to Cordelia alone.
Slate snatched his beer off the bar. “One for the road.”
Cordelia flipped Gage off as he vanished into the hall, but when she angled toward me, her scowl melted away. “Want to play a game?” She jerked her chin toward the table.
“Sure. Just take it easy on me.” I chuckled and grabbed a pool stick. “Practice kicked my ass this morning.”
She started racking the balls. “You sure it’s not all that wild, hot sex with Lorelei?” Her laugh sounded as fake as the ones I used to give when she talked about other guys.
“Does my relationship with Lorelei bother you?” I asked, rubbing chalk on the end of my stick.
Cordelia scoffed, gaze remaining fixed on the green felt table. “Of course not.” She cleared her throat. “You want to break?”
I shook my head. “Go for it.”
A crash echoed as Cordelia began the game, sinking several balls at one time. “I’ll be stripes.”
“You can tell me if it bothers you.” My fingers tightened around the stick. “I want you to be honest.”
She missed the next shot and stood back. “Why does it matter? You and Lorelei are together, and now I’m nothing to you.”
My head snapped back. “How could you think that? You’re my friend.”
“A friend you barely speak to.” She waved her hand in the air and gave another forced smile. “It’s fine. I get it. You two are totally in love, and she probably doesn’t want you hanging around your ex fuck buddy.”
My teeth ground, and my sweaty hand slipped down the stick. “You were always more to me than just a fuck buddy. Don’t try to deny it. That’s why you started to pull away. You didn’t want to be more.”
“Yeah, well, you’re with her now, so it doesn’t matter.” She shrugged one shoulder and tucked a lock of purple hair behind her ear. “It’s your turn.”
As she moved away from the table, I ambled around it for the best angle.
“Are you really going to pretend like you don’t remember what you said after I saved your ass from nearly getting hit by a car?” I sank the solid green ball.
“Would it change anything?” Her voice had suddenly softened, and when I looked up, unshed tears glistened in her eyes. “If I told you I wanted to be with you, would you break up with Lorelei for me?”
Deep gouges tore at my chest as her words hit the air. If Cordelia had wanted to be with me months ago, I never would have agreed to this fake relationship with Lorelei. I would have been with Cordi.
But now I couldn’t give Lorelei up.
I wouldn’t.
The girl of my dreams had admitted that she wanted me, but that was just it. The Cordelia I wanted only existed in my dreams. I’d built up our relationship and worshiped the ground she walked on, only to realize it hadn’t been as deep as I’d thought.
As it turned out, my relationship with Cordi had been fake, while the farce Lorelei and I had concocted became the most honest thing I’d ever had.
Fuck me.
I loved Lorelei Battenberg.
“No, Cordi, I wouldn’t break up with Lorelei for you.” I put the stick down and slowly closed the distance between us, giving her time to back away. “I think we missed our chance. Even if we had gotten together, I think we eventually would’ve realized we were better as friends.”
She angrily swiped at the tear leaking down her cheek. “I’m such a dumbass for not grabbing you when I could.”
I rested my hands on her shoulders. “You’re not a dumbass. You were just scared.”
She sniffled as pain flickered across her expression. “And now, I’m going to end up alone or trapped in some bland, loveless arranged marriage.”
“You’ll find someone tough enough to break all those steel walls protecting your heart.” I pulled her into my chest, inhaling her sweet perfume. It didn't give me the same high as Lorelei’s scent. “You’re an amazing girl, and one day, someone’s going to fight tooth and nail to win you over.”
Cordelia pulled back, chewing on her trembling bottom lip. “I’m sorry I treated you like shit, Ax. You deserve so much better, and I hope Lorelei knows how damn lucky she is.”
A lazy smile pulled at my mouth. “I’m pretty sure she knows.”
“I’ll kick her ass if she hurts you.” Cordi poked my chest. “Make sure you tell her that.”
“I will.”
If someone had told me a few months ago I’d reject Cordelia Chesson for Lorelei Battenberg, I would have called them insane. But blondie had stolen my heart, and I hadn’t realized it until it was almost too late. I was crazy about her, and I’d do everything in my power to keep her.
Brock didn’t stand a chance. If I had to use my connections within the Serpents & Daggers to make sure that asshole stayed away from Lorelei, I would.
Angry flames lit my blood when his sneer flashed through my mind. Murder wasn’t off the table. I’d outright kill him if I had to.