Chapter 36 Alina
Alina
My feet pounded against the pavement as I raced home, breath shallow, eyes darting over my shoulder. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something—or someone—was watching me. The test results burned in my pocket like a curse I couldn’t outrun.
I burst through the door into our cozy kitchen. Jack’s back was to me, sleeves rolled up, busy at the stove. The scent of sizzling meat and fresh herbs filled the air, grounding me for a moment—but not enough to steady my nerves.
I breathed, trying to gather the courage that kept slipping through my fingers.
“Jack,” I said, my voice shaking. “I have news. From the doctor.”
He turned instantly, concern etched into his features. “What is it?”
I hesitated. And then, like ripping off a bandage, I blurted, “I’m pregnant.”
For a heartbeat, the world stood still.
Then Jack’s face lit up. His whole body seemed to come alive with joy. “That’s incredible!” he said, rushing forward to hug me tightly. “Alina, this is—this is amazing!”
“I don’t want it,” I said flatly.
He pulled back just enough to see my face. “What? Are you serious? We can take a break from the dagger hunt. We can slow down, focus on the baby, on us—”
“I’ll be a terrible mother,” I interrupted. “We don’t need a child to make us whole, Jack.”
I sank onto the sofa, every bone in my body heavy with dread.
He followed, sitting beside me, his voice quieter now. “I want this child,” he said. “I’ve been feeling so lost lately, and now… this feels like hope. Like something real. Something to hold onto.”
I looked away, unable to meet the warmth in his eyes. “But I don’t want a baby,” I whispered. “Please don’t make me do this.”
Maybe the baby would bring Jack happiness.
But what about mine?
A child would ruin everything I’d built, everything I’d buried.
It would tie me down in a world I didn’t trust, surrounded by enemies I couldn’t defeat.
Zara’s laughter echoed in my mind, a stinging reminder of the torment waiting for me if she or the Scholar ever learned the truth.
Visions of punishment, of blood and agony, haunted me.
And Balthazar—if he ever found out what I’d done to his lover…
My heart thundered in my chest, each beat laced with panic.
Still, in the end, my decision was not born of hope, but of survival.
I would keep the child.
Not for love.
Not for joy.
But to save my own life from the monsters hunting me.
I had been pregnant for what felt like an eternity. Each day was a battle—an endless cycle of nausea, exhaustion, and a hollow yearning for the version of myself that existed before this child.
I had never wanted a baby. And yet, my body betrayed me, clinging to this life I never asked for.
As the months dragged by, my resentment grew. My body changed in ways I hated—morning sickness that never eased, fatigue that buried me alive. I felt like a prisoner inside my own skin, powerless, forgotten.
Every day, I hated the pregnancy more.
I tried to forget I was pregnant at all. I wanted to rewind time, to erase the moment this nightmare began. I longed to be free—to reclaim the woman I was before.
But there was no escape. Only watching eyes.
I could feel them—always watching. The Scholar. Zara. And Balthazar. Their shadows lingered, haunting the edges of my world.
As the baby grew, one thought swallowed everything else—
Balthazar must never find out.
If he discovered I was carrying another man’s child, he would kill me. I knew it in my bones. His vengeance would be merciless.
Paranoia consumed me. Every creak in the floorboards, every flicker of movement outside the window, sent my heart into a tailspin. I lived in constant fear that he’d find me, that he was waiting to strike.
Dark circles carved themselves under my eyes, carved deeper with each sleepless night. My thoughts never slowed, racing in loops until morning light crept through the windows. And even then, I couldn’t rest.
I had developed a habit of glancing over my shoulder every few minutes, scanning alleyways and reflections in windows, searching for signs of him.
Waiting.
Because I knew the truth, monsters like Balthazar never forgot.
And they never forgave.
After failing to sleep that afternoon, I was jolted awake by Jack’s breathless excitement.
“Alina!” he shouted, bursting into the room, clutching a stack of papers. “I found it—the other dagger!”
“What?” I pushed myself upright, groggy and aching, and stumbled to his side. “Where is it?”
He spread a worn map across the bed, his finger jabbing at a spot with manic urgency. “Here! Peru. It’s part of an excavation that’s already underway. I can be there and back before the baby comes.”
“Where did you get this information?” I asked, suspicion blooming in my chest.
Jack stood taller, pride gleaming in his eyes. “I followed a lead. It paid off.”
I grabbed the front of his shirt, my voice low and dangerous. “What do you mean you can go find it? We’re going to that dig together.”
His confidence faltered. “Alina, you’ve been sick—sick with the pregnancy. I just thought—”
“I don’t care how ill I’ve been!” I snapped, voice rising. “If I don’t go to this dig, Jack, you’ll regret it!”
I paused, scanning the room’s corners, half-expecting the Scholar to step from the shadows and crush my throat for speaking too boldly.
My voice softened instantly. “I’m sorry,” I said sweetly, touching his chest. “You’re right. This pregnancy has drained me. I shouldn’t have lashed out. But maybe a change of scenery would help me feel like myself again.”
He eyed me, clearly unconvinced. “Alina… if anything happens to the baby…”
“Nothing will happen to the baby,” I whispered, brushing a kiss against his cheek. “We’ll be together. That’s all that matters.”
He hesitated, then gave a reluctant nod.
I exhaled, pressing my hand against the swell of my belly.
We would go to Peru before this wretched life event unfolded, before I was forced to become something I never wanted.
And maybe, if fate were merciful, the child wouldn’t survive the journey.
Zara wouldn’t punish me for an accident.
Would she?