5. Rebecca
Chapter five
Rebecca
Breath Me
I stand in the dimly lit locker room, my hands trembling as I clench onto my makeup bag. I stare at my reflection in the mirror, trying desperately to conceal the evidence of last night's altercation - a deep red cut across my cheek and an angry yellow bruise forming around it. My fingers fumble with foundation and concealer, but no amount of makeup can hide the pain that radiates from my face. As I finish my routine, I take a deep breath and steel myself for another day of hiding the truth behind a mask of perfection.
What kind of mom throws plates and cups at her child? Oh, that’s right, mine. She’s not a mother. She’s a monster who has been making my life miserable since day one. I was unwanted. Only used as a pawn in her game. A game to trap my father.
The bathroom door creaks open and I quickly grab my things, rushing into a stall to avoid being seen. I shove my makeup haphazardly into my backpack, hopping up to hover over the toilet seat. As I hear familiar voices enter, I know it's Ashley and her little clique of clones. Their high-pitched giggles and squeals fill the small space.
I can feel the tension in the air as Ashley slams her purse onto the counter with a loud thud. "I don't know who that bitch thinks she is, but Danny is mine." Her voice is shrill and filled with venom.
One of her followers chimes in, sounding exasperated. "Who, Ashley?"
"Becca fucking Carney. That whore better watch her step." Ashley's tone turns menacing. "Rumor has it that she's a bastard child. Her dad had an affair and forced her mother to raise her."
Another girl adds in, her voice dripping with spite. "I heard she lets anybody stick it in her."
Ashley huffs, clearly not satisfied with the level of drama yet. "I swear to god, if Danny even touches her..."
But one of the girls, Kimberly, interrupts with a laugh. "Do you really think Danny would risk his future by even looking at her? Come on, Ashley. You two are meant to be."
I peek through the small crack in the stall door and see Ashley flipping her hair back confidently. "You're right. We're a power couple."
Shaking my head in disbelief, I have to stifle my laugh. Power couple? This girl is delusional. I know for a fact that she and Danny aren't actually dating - he just slept with her once at a party and now she's obsessed with him.
As Ashley pouts and poses in front of the mirror, feeling superior to everyone else in the school, I can't help but roll my eyes. Her cronies, Jessica and Kimberly, nod in agreement with her every word.
"Plus," Jessica adds in, "I heard she's like some secret spy or something."
Ashley scoffs, clearly not interested in Jessica. "Don't be stupid. Her backstabbing nanny was a spy, not Becca." She turns to face them with a smug expression. "She probably came here to seduce her dad and steal all his connections."
"Yikes," Kimberly says with a shudder.
"But hey, like I said, no competition." Ashley preens in front of the mirror once more, admiring her looks. "Danny would never risk getting involved with someone so beneath him."
With their make-up fixed and hair brushed to perfection, the girls leave the bathroom, already gossiping about the next person on their list. I wait a few minutes before hopping down from the toilet seat and fixing my appearance in the mirror one last time before exiting the bathroom.
Fury surges through me, bringing with it a wave of bitter resentment. "Fuck those girls," I mutter under my breath as I make my way to class. Ashley and her flock of followers will undoubtedly be there, and she'll no doubt be fawning over Danny like he's some kind of god.
But I don't care. I never have and I never will. He can have Ashley and all of her drama, for all I care.
With a heavy sigh, I push open the door and head to my usual seat in the back corner. Danny is already up front, surrounded by adoring fans, as Ashley saunters in with her entourage trailing behind her like obedient puppies.
As she glares at me from across the room, taking her seat next to Danny and wrapping her arms possessively around him, I feel a flicker of satisfaction. Let them have each other. They deserve all the misery that comes with it.
Danny catches my gaze and smirks, his arm casually draped around Ashley's shoulder. But I know better than anyone that appearances can be deceiving, especially when I saw that look of lust in Danny’s eyes yesterday…
The teacher strides into the classroom, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention. "Alright, everybody. Go ahead and find your assigned partners."
I can see Ashley pouting as she turns to face Danny. "Do we have to?"
The teacher rolls her eyes in annoyance. "Yes, Ashley. Please remove yourself from Daniel and go sit with your partner. If this is going to be an issue, we can discuss it with the dean."
Ashley huffs and rolls her eyes before reluctantly shuffling over to the corner of the room. Meanwhile, Danny walks over to my table and flops down in his seat.
I scoot a paper over to him as he leans back in his chair. "I already emailed the teacher, and she's going to help us get in touch with a realtor, so we can learn more about that property."
But Danny doesn't respond. Instead, he shrugs nonchalantly and pulls out his phone from his pocket.
"Hey, I'm talking to you, Danny." I say, growing frustrated by his lack of attention.
Still no response from him.
"Danny!" I say louder, now starting to draw attention from other students who are whispering and hiding their laughter behind their hands.
I refuse to be treated like a joke.
In anger, I lean closer to Danny and whisper fiercely at him. "This is your last chance to get your act together. You will not embarrass me."
Danny glares up at me, his eyes darkening with anger before he looks back down at his phone.
I've had enough of this disrespectful behavior. I am not some timid little girl to be trifled with.
Without hesitation, I reach out and slam Danny's phone down on the table in frustration.
"I said, pay fucking attention, Daniel ," I seethe through gritted teeth, causing the entire room to fall silent and turn their gaze towards us. I can see a faint flush creeping up Danny's cheeks in embarrassment.
"Now, look at the paper I just gave you and make some decisions," I say sternly, trying to conceal my annoyance. "Can you handle that?"
Through gritted teeth, Danny glares at me before begrudgingly answering. "Yes."
"Good," I reply curtly.
He picks up his pencil and starts scribbling notes down in his notebook as we work on our assignment in tense silence. Danny is an asshole, just like the rest of his group of friends. And I refuse to be disrespected by him any longer.
The self-proclaimed Elites of Edgewood... what kind of pompous assholes would give themselves such a title?
The bell rings, snapping me out of my thoughts and forcing me to gather my things quickly before making my way out of the classroom. Danny calls after me, but I ignore him. Right now, I have more pressing matters at hand - finding a place to stay for the night.
Sighing, I realize that I have no friends in this school. But it's my fault. After Katya left, I withdrew from everyone and became a recluse, building walls around me and becoming cold-hearted. Love means giving someone else complete control over your heart, whether they break it intentionally or not. And I loved Katya with all of mine. Still do. But I refuse to ever let myself be hurt like that again.
Flicking through my phone to find the nearest truck stop, I make my way towards the small stone cloister that leads to the garden area of our school. But as soon as I step outside, I am slammed against the stones by Danny. His towering figure looms over me, eyes radiating with anger.
"Don't you ever fucking embarrass me like that again," he seethes.
I smirk, knowing I've gotten under his skin. "Aww, poor Danny boo. Gonna call mommy to come wipe away your tears?"
He tightens his grip around my throat and leans down until his lips are dangerously close to my ear. "Watch yourself, Rebecca ."
Jesus, fuck. Am I... turned on? What the hell is wrong with me?
"No need to watch myself when you're already keeping an eye on me, Daniel ." His hand drops from my neck as he steps back.
Danny looks around before pointing a finger at me. "Just shut up. We're partners in this class and I don't need your drama causing me to fail."
"I don't do drama. But your little power couple girlfriend seems to thrive on it."
Danny scrunches his face up in confusion. "Ashley?"
"She's telling all the girls that you belong to her. Might want to handle that before Mrs. Henderson kicks both of you out of class. I'm sure mommy and daddy would be very disappointed."
"Yeah, well, at least I have parents who actually care about me. Unlike you, the bastard child."
I shrug nonchalantly as I grab my car keys from my backpack. "Wow, what a great insult. Never heard that one before."
Rolling my eyes, I walk away from Danny and towards the parking lot. I try to play it cool, but his words still sting.
I know my father loves me. Even if my mother hates me, it doesn't bother me much. What hurts is when people mistake Katya for my mother.
Because that was always my greatest wish - for her to be my mother. The one dream I hold on to with desperate hope, even now.
With a shake of my head, I reach for the door handle of my car when Ashley's hand grabs onto it.
"Stay away from Danny. He's not yours," she growls, her eyes flashing with anger.
I turn to face her, the key still in my hand. "I have no interest in him. He's all yours."
Ashley sneers at me, her perfectly manicured nails digging into the metal of my car door. "I saw you two. Just now in the cloister."
I raise an eyebrow, challenging her. "And what of it?"
"His hands were on you, you dumb bitch!" Ashley practically spits the words at me, her voice dripping with venom.
I can't help but laugh, stepping out of my car and towering over her. She quickly backs up, scanning our surroundings for any potential aid.
"You're so desperate to cling onto anyone with money. And when Danny doesn't work out, who's your next victim? Ryan? Iz? They don't double dip like that," I taunt, enjoying the way her jaw clenches in frustration.
Ashley stomps her foot like a petulant child. "You don't even know what you're talking about!"
"And neither do you. So why don't you just get lost?"
I take a step forward and Ashley scurries away, joining her group of friends who were waiting just around the corner. I slip back into my car and plug in the address for a nearby truck stop, eager to leave this drama behind me.
The night before, I had stayed alone in my empty home for the last time. As the hours ticked by, I scoured the internet for places to stay at night. Finally, I settled on a stop that offered all the amenities I needed - washers and dryers, showers, and a safe place to park my car and get some sleep. Although there were some concerning reviews about safety, I reassured myself that I was prepared for anything.
Driving onto the highway, I let my thoughts drift from Katya to my father to Danny. It felt like there was so much happening at once, yet at the same time, nothing at all. I was stuck in this limbo of emotions and had no idea how to navigate through it.
In moments like this, most girls would turn to their mothers for comfort. But mine didn't want me...
Pulling into the parking lot of the rest stop, I carefully scope out the area before finding the perfect spot to park my car. It’s not too secluded, but also not too exposed. Turning off the engine, I make my way inside to grab some food and use the facilities.
The woman behind the register greets me with a warm smile. "How are we doing today?"
"Good. Just getting some snacks... Actually, can you tell me how to use the showers here?"
Her smile widens. "Don't worry, girl. I got you." She pulls out a large plastic keychain and hands it to me. "Use the last shower - it's the only one that locks. And don't worry about having change for the machines, they take cards now. I'll keep an eye on you."
"Thank you," I say gratefully.
Heading back outside, I climb into my car and set up my temporary home for the night. With sun visors covering all my windows and blankets covering every inch of my backseat, I create a cozy little bed for myself. Tucking my pillow under my head and hugging my stuffed rabbit close, I let out a heavy sigh as I took in the reality of my current situation.
Tears threaten to spill over as I gaze around at the makeshift bedroom. But then, suddenly, they come pouring out uncontrollably. Sobs wrack my body as I struggle to catch my breath. The tears seem endless, leaving me feeling drained and defeated.
Feeling utterly alone and hopeless, I pull the blankets up to my chin and close my eyes, hoping to find some solace in sleep.
A s the first rays of sunlight trickle in through a small crack in my window cover, I am abruptly awoken by a loud banging on the driver's side window. My heart races as I quickly sit up, fumbling to put on a sweatshirt while scurrying towards the front seat. Checking that all the doors are securely locked, I cautiously pull down a corner of the cover to see who is disturbing me.
An older man stands outside, one hand clutching a steaming coffee cup and the other resting on his hip, a warm smile spreading across his weathered face. His salt-and-pepper beard is neatly trimmed and gives off an air of familiarity, like that of a well-loved father or grandfather.
The crisp morning air fills the car as I roll the window down, allowing a gentle breeze to swirl through the interior. I peer out at a bearded man approaching, his flannel shirt and worn jeans giving off a friendly vibe.
"Uh... hi. Can I help you?" I ask cautiously.
"Just wanted to make sure you woke up!" he replies with a hearty laugh. "Liz, in there, told me you were staying and to keep an eye on you."
I nod, feeling slightly relieved. "Oh, thank you."
Taking a sip of his steaming coffee, the man introduces himself as Jim. "The girls are cookin' up breakfast. Come on inside and eat," he invites warmly.
As my stomach rumbles in agreement, Jim chuckles and adds, "I'm Jim, by the way."
"Nice to meet you. I’m Becca," I reply gratefully, stepping out of the car and into the crisp morning air.
Before heading inside, I discreetly slip my father's small handgun into my jacket pocket for added protection. You can never be too cautious around strangers.
Jim continues to exude kindness as we enter the cozy rest stop, filled with the savory smells of cooking breakfast. My stomach grumbles even louder at the enticing aroma.
But despite Jim's friendly demeanor, a part of me still remains wary. In this uncertain world, you never know who you can trust...
Jim holds the door open for me as we step inside, our feet landing on the worn linoleum floor of the diner. The same lady from last night stands behind the counter, a large glass coffeepot in hand, her bright red apron standing out against her white shirt. She looks up and grins, her warm brown eyes shining with kindness.
“Glad you’re up, sweetheart! Come take a seat, eggs will be done in just a quick second.”
We both sit on faded yellow stools at the counter as Liz moves around, her black ponytail bouncing with each step. Jim takes a sip of coffee and turns to me.
“So, how old are you, young lady?”
“Legal,” I reply with a hint of sarcasm.
Jim chuckles. “I ain’t the cops.”
Sighing, I tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I’ll be eighteen in a few days.”
He whistles lowly. “Damn, girl. Why are you sleeping in your car?”
“Uh…” My mind races for an answer to this question that has plagued me since I left home.
Liz leans on the counter and slides two plates over to us. “You’re safe here, baby. Jim here is one of the good ones.”
I smile, feeling a bit better. “My mom kicked me out. Sold the house. She’s never wanted me… and uh, my dad has no idea. I don’t have the heart to tell him.”
Liz frowns as Jim sips his coffee again. “Just like that? Fuck. I could never do that to my child.”
“Do you have kids?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Not yet. My husband and I are saving up to buy a house first! That’s why I work these overnight shifts. Good money.”
Jim puts his mug down. “You’re safe here. I would never want my babies out in the world like that. I’ve got five kids and twelve grandbabies. Oh, and a new one on the way!”
“Wow. That’s a big family,” I say, amazed.
He grins proudly. “Sure is. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Do you have any siblings?”
I shake my head. “One and done. That’s all my mom needed to trap my dad into marriage.”
Liz huffs. “Goddamn bitch. I’m sorry, love. I should keep it to myself, but that’s not a mother.”
“Ha. Oh, I know. She never has been a mother to me. The only time I got attention was when she needed something from somebody, or when I was in trouble. I honestly have no feelings toward her… well, except hate. But… yeah.” I look around the small diner and sigh. “I’ve… I’ve never really talked about this before.”
Jim puts a comforting hand on my back. “We have that effect on people. Your family now, kid. Listen, I’ve got some friends who drive through here who will check in on you. Park near them or me when you're here.”
Liz nods in agreement. “And if things get tough, bring those blankets on in here. You can sleep out back on the floor.”
“Thank you both… so much,” I say gratefully.
She smiles warmly at me. “Welcome to the family, baby.”
After hastily exchanging numbers with my new friends, I rush off to get ready for school. Filling my arms with clothes from my car, I make my way into the bathroom to begin my morning routine. I methodically brush my teeth, comb my hair, and apply my makeup with practiced precision. As I exit the bathroom and head back to my car, I fold up the blankets and neatly place them in the backseat along with my pillow.
Before getting in the car, I carefully tuck my beloved stuffed bunny into my backpack. The drive to school is silent; no music fills the air, just the sound of my own thoughts swirling around in my mind. It's a familiar feeling, being alone with nothing but my own thoughts, but it still leaves me unsure of how to feel.
Reaching for the joint I had rolled the night before, I roll down my window and light it up. Inhaling deeply, the warmth spreads through me like a gentle wave, washing away all of my worries. Taking another hit as I merge onto the highway, I let the high take over and provide temporary relief from the weight of my emotions.
But as I finally pull into the school parking lot, that temporary escape is shattered by the ringing of my phone displaying my dad's name. Taking a deep breath, I answer the call.
"Hey, Dad."
"Hey, princess! Just wanted to check in on you. How's the apartment your mom got you set up in?"
An apartment? She never mentioned anything about this...but then again, it doesn't surprise me.
"You there?"
Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I reply, "Uh, yeah. The apartment is great."
"Good! She mentioned you guys were going shopping for furniture this weekend. And your birthday is coming up soon too. I'm gonna try to make it home in time to celebrate."
Rolling my eyes and leaning my seat back, I respond with a forced enthusiasm, "Sounds good, Dad."
I can hear a tinge of sadness in his voice. "I know it's tough being so far away from each other. But you know how my job goes, darling."
"Yup."
"How about this... I'll put a little extra in your account the next few days? Treat yourself to something nice."
As I look around the empty parking lot, trying to keep my emotions in check, I give a half-hearted thanks. "Sounds great, Dad."
"Good! And your mom is taking care of all your rent payments... right?"
Nodding numbly, I reply, "Yeah. Of course. Hey, I gotta get moving now. I'm at school early to work on my project."
"Alright, sweetheart. You have a great day and we'll chat soon. Love you!"
"Love you too."
As soon as the call ends, tears stream down my face.
I'm not a priority. Never have been, never will be. In this world, I am truly alone, with no family or friends to rely on. The weight of reality crushes me as I realize that I was born into a lonely life and will probably die in the same way...