9. Rebecca
Chapter nine
Rebecca
Never Felt So Alone
T his is not where I want to be.
This sterile, cookie-cutter neighborhood was never part of my plan. A knot forms in my stomach as I look up at Danny's home; the manicured lawn dotted with rounded rose bushes, the perfectly placed candles illuminating the windows, all tied together with the American flag flying proudly in the breeze.
It's the epitome of a picture-perfect New England home, meant to impress and intimidate. And now it's my 'home' until I graduate, thanks to Danny's big mouth that couldn't keep a secret for just a few months.
My eyes shift down to my phone, yet another text from my mother threatening me to stay quiet or face consequences. I feel trapped and suffocated in this picture-perfect facade of a life, forced to play along for fear of backlash from those who are supposed to love me unconditionally.
Danny pulls up next to me in his sleek black car, rolling his window down with a loud hum. The sun glints off the tinted glass as his smug face appears.
“Are you gonna park?” he asks with a hint of annoyance in his voice.
“Fuck you, Danny," I snap back, gripping the steering wheel tightly. “Don’t talk to me unless it’s about the project."
He scoffs and gives me a dismissive wave before rolling his window back up. As he drives around the circle and pulls into the garage, I watch the door close behind him and I’m left alone once again.
My emotions are a jumbled mess as I sit here. On one hand, I feel safe knowing that Danny's parents have my best interests in mind. But on the other hand, I feel betrayed and trapped. This is all happening against my will. I have no say in where I am going to live. It's suffocating and overwhelming all at once.
As I pull up to the gates, another car enters behind me. The sleek white Range Rover with teal accents catches my eye and the window is rolled down to reveal Danny's sister, Delilah, in the driver's seat. She flashes a friendly smile at me.
"Hey," she calls out.
I nod in response, unsure of what to say.
"Follow me, I'll show you where to park," Delilah says before speeding off towards the side of the garage. I follow closely behind her and park where she directs me to. Stepping out of my car, I take a moment to assess my surroundings.
But as I stand there, torn between wanting to drive away and desiring the comfort of a warm bed inside, Delilah appears beside me, breaking me out of my thoughts.
"Come on," she says with a gentle pat on my shoulder. "Let's go inside."
I take a deep breath and follow her up the front steps, feeling both grateful for her guidance and hesitant about entering this unfamiliar territory.
As I enter the house, Louise, their mom, comes barreling towards me, her face filled with relief and excitement. "Rebecca! Oh my goodness, I am so glad you're here. I have a room all set up for you and we can go shopping for clothes if you need anything. And-"
I raise my hand to stop her rambling. "Please, just... stop. And it’s Becca, not Rebecca."
Louise's expression falls, disappointment etched on her features. "I'm sorry. I probably overwhelmed you. I'm just so happy you're finally here."
"I'm not." My words come out harsher than intended, but they reflect the truth. This was not my choice and everyone knows it. I refuse to pretend that this is some kind of happy reunion.
Danny appears from around the corner, his face contorted in anger as he defends his mother. "Hey! Don't talk to my mom like that."
Louise sighs, understanding my point. "No, no. Danny, she has a valid point..."
"No, Mom." Danny cuts her off, his own frustration clear in his voice. "Becca needs to stop being such a bitch to everyone and get over herself."
Del interjects, defending me against Danny's attack. "Danny! Stop being such an asshole for once!"
He scoffs at her words. "Of course, I'm always the asshole in this family." He turns to face his mom. "Daisy is fucking dead! Stop trying to force us all to be one big happy family! We will never be the same!"
Feeling overwhelmed and ready to flee from the tension-filled atmosphere, I take a step back when Danny's dad, Cliff, silently approaches me. His eyes are heavy with sorrow and exhaustion evident in the dark circles under them. Placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, he whispers to me.
"I am so sorry that you have to see this, Becca." He clears his throat, gaining the attention of everyone in the room. "I want everyone in the living room. Now."
He strides confidently towards the other room, Louise trailing behind him. Danny's eyes bore into me with a fiery glare as he passes, purposely bumping me with his shoulder. Del lets out an exasperated sigh and checks her watch.
"Is he serious?" I ask, my voice trembling slightly.
Del nods solemnly. "Welcome to the family, Becca. We even have family meetings here. Let's just get this over with."
She leads me to the living room, where Danny is already seated. Cliff folds his hands together and looks at each of us.
"I understand that this situation is stressful for all of us. But we cannot continue to be at odds with each other. Danny, we do not tolerate the mistreatment of women in this family. Del, please refrain from antagonizing your brother. And Louise... I love you, but no matter how well-intentioned your actions were, we need to consider how Becca feels about all of this. She has had so many decisions taken away from her."
He turns to look directly at me. "Becca, I am truly sorry for how your mother has treated you. But I kindly ask that you treat my family with respect while you are here. Can we all agree on this?"
All four of us nod in unison. Louise moves to sit beside me, taking my hand in hers.
"Rebecca... or should I say Becca," she corrects herself, "I am so sorry for springing this on you. I can't even imagine a mother betraying her own child like that. I just want to help."
"Thank you," I reply softly, feeling guilty for being rude to her earlier. "I will try my best to be better."
Cliff offers a warm smile. "We don't expect everything to change overnight. Just do your best. That's all we can ask of our children."
Louise nods in agreement. "We're here for you, Becca. Del, why don't you show her around the house and where she'll be staying?"
Del grins mischievously. "Perf."
D elilah gives me a grand tour of the house while Danny hides in his room. He can be mad all he wants, but this is on him. He spilled my secret.
As Del and I settle into my new room, she helps me unpack and put away my belongings. She turns to me as I place my books on the shelf.
"So what happened with your mom?" she asks bluntly.
I let out a heavy sigh, turning towards the glass doors that lead to a small porch. "Where do I even begin?" Opening the doors, I let the cool breeze wash over me, soothing my skin. "My mother never wanted me. I was just a prop for her perfect family image. Selling the house was her way of getting rid of me quietly. Out of sight, out of mind. She can tell everyone that I'm living in some fancy condo while she travels the world without me."
"Wow, what a bitch," Del mutters under her breath.
“Yeah.”
Shaking her head in disbelief, Del speaks up again. "I know you didn't want to come here, but my mom would never do something like that to you. She can be overbearing and annoying at times, but it's always out of love. She never gives up on anyone. My mom is just…"
"Lonely and hurting," I add.
Del nods sadly. "Daisy's death really took a toll on her."
Closing the glass doors, I sit down on the bed. "I'm sorry about that. Losing someone you love is never easy."
Twisting her hands together nervously, Del looks over at me. "This may sound harsh, but I've come to terms with Daisy's death. Of course, I miss her every day and will never fully get over it. But it was her own choices that led to her death. I had been waiting for that phone call ever since she started hooking up with Reece. I just never thought it would be Cat who killed her. I thought it would be Reece or the drugs."
"I still can't believe it," I murmur. "And how is your dad coping?"
"Eh, he's handling it as well as he can. I think deep down, he knew Daisy didn't have much time left on this earth. He misses her, but he's not blaming himself like my mom is. Plus, he goes to therapy while my mom refuses to. Therapy has helped me come to terms with everything, too."
I nod in understanding. "And Danny...?"
Del smirks. "For someone who claims to hate my brother, you sure seem interested in him."
"It's not like that," I try to defend myself. "I'm just trying to understand how to interact with him."
"Sure," Del says skeptically. "Danny... he's struggling the most with Daisy's death. He'll never admit it, but he's always had crippling anxiety. He used to hide it well, but then there's the weed. Losing Daisy has really set him back, and he needs actual medication to help with his depression."
Looking at Del, I can see the worry etched on her face. Her brow is furrowed and pain lingers in her eyes. Without thinking, I stand up and place a comforting hand on her arm.
"He'll be okay," I reassure her. "It takes time to heal from losing someone so important in your life."
Del gives a small smile and nods. "I guess all we can do is watch and support him."
Louise's gentle knock echoes through the wooden door as she cautiously opens it. The smell of savory food wafts in from downstairs, filling the room with delicious aromas. Del sits up from the bed, turning to give me a sad smile before getting up to join Louise at the door.
"Hey girls," Louise says softly, "just wanted to let you know dinner should be done soon if you want to head down."
As Del passes her and exits the room, Louise furrows her brow in concern. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," I say with a sigh, "just talking about Danny."
Louise's face softens into a sympathetic expression. "He's a good kid."
"I know," I reply, trying to push away the thoughts that linger in my mind. "He'll be okay. All of you will be."
"And you will be too, Becca," Louise says firmly, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "For someone in your position, you are incredibly strong. I know it hasn't been easy living with your mother, but living out of a car is not safe, love."
I shrug nonchalantly. "I made some friends along the way."
"You did," Louise agrees with a small smile. "And they are always welcome to visit you here."
Feeling grateful for Louise's kindness and acceptance, I walk over to her and hug her tightly. "Thank you. That means... a lot to me."
"Now let's go get you some real food," Louise declares with a chuckle, taking my hand in hers as we make our way downstairs.
Despite the warmth and comfort of this home, I can't shake off the nagging feeling that it's all too good to be true. At any moment now, the rug will be pulled out from under me again.
But for now, I'll savor the calm and peace that this house brings.
Minus Danny.
He's the wild card, the unpredictable one, the person I both fear and desire the most. It's a complicated and confusing mixture of emotions. One minute I want to strangle him, but the next minute I'm fantasizing about his lips on mine.
These next few months will undoubtedly be challenging, but I know I can get through it, graduate from high school, and then finally find my Katya...