Chapter 27
When the fabric between worlds thins, doorways can form in the unlikeliest of places.
THE COSMOLOGIST
The bathrooms in the Main Building had marble-tiled floors and plush velvet benches. A bank of mirrors made up the wall above the fancy sinks with copper taps. I was supposed to meet the Unwoven in the dining hall, but I needed a moment to compose myself.
Damn Vitra and his sex appeal.
Maybe it was a naga thing.
I really needed to do some research about the supernal to figure out the full extent of his powers.
I splashed cool water on my face, then studied my reflection. Dammit, I still looked flushed.
My breath misted in front of me and goose bumps crawled up my arms.
What the—
The lights flickered, and a man appeared in the mirror behind me. His eyes were covered by a white blindfold, and his dark hair floated around his shoulders in a phantom breeze.
I was frozen. Unable to look over my shoulder as he approached. His reflection glided closer, his bare torso gleaming as if his skin were made of a billion diamonds.
He reached for me, and a scream bubbled up my throat.
I didn’t want him to touch me.
I had to move.
I had to—
A door slammed.
The lights flickered again, and the man in the mirror was replaced by Clary.
“Ana?” She hurried toward me. “Ana, are you okay?”
A squeak fell from my lips—the remnant of the scream that had gathered there a moment ago.
Clary put her arm around me and drew me away from the mirror and toward the bench. “Sit. You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Like, a nasty evil ghost, not the Pip and his team kind.”
I took a shuddering breath. “There was a man here. I saw him in the mirror.” I described what I’d seen. “He was going to touch me.” I sounded crazy, but there was no disbelief on Clary’s face. “You don’t look surprised.”
“Well, you’re not the first to see stuff in the mirrors,” Clary said. “There have been rumors of specters living in the glass for decades. It’s kind of a boast to say you’ve seen one.” She leaned in conspiratorially. “But I’m sure most students make stuff up.”
She made it sound so innocuous. “I’m not making this up.”
“Oh, I believe you.” There was a heaviness in her tone that pulled me out of my own head.
“Have you seen one?”
She smiled wryly. “No, it’s not like that for me. I…” She sighed. “Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I’m certain it’s not my reflection looking back at me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like…it’s my face, but it’s not me.” She puffed out her cheeks and blew out a breath. “Okay, so I had a sister. A twin. She died before I came here, and sometimes… Sometimes I think I see her looking at me from the mirror.” She let out an awkward laugh. “I know, it sounds crazy.”
It sounded creepy. “How did she die? I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”
She shook her head. “It’s fine. It was a carriage accident.”
“I’m so sorry.”
She smiled sadly. “Yeah, me too. Raina was a force of nature. It’s hard to believe she could be snuffed out so easily.
You know, we might have been identical in looks, but we were very different in personality.
She was the smart, confident one who could light up a room with her presence, and her connection to the Weave was astounding.
I used to be jealous of her sometimes, but it was impossible not to love her.
I mean…she made everyone around her feel special. She should be here with me now.”
“You were both meant to come here?”
“Trinity, no. It was meant to be just one of us, but Raina refused to let us be parted. She insisted they send us both, but a month before we were due to come here, she was killed.” She tucked in her chin, fiddling with the leather bracelet on her wrist. “There was a party, and she begged me to go with her, but I was feeling off. My stomach hurt and… Anyway, I said no. So, she went alone and…well, she never came home.” Her tone thickened with emotion.
“A wheel came loose on the carriage, and she was thrown from the driver’s seat. ”
“Oh…Clary…”
She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. “Raina wasn’t the best driver. I knew that. Maybe if I’d insisted she take Percy, our driver. Maybe if I’d gone with her…” She exhaled heavily. “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wonder how different things might be if I’d gone with her.”
She blamed herself. I could hear it in her voice and see it on her face. “Clary…you do know it wasn’t your fault, right?”
She gave me a weak smile. “Our decisions have consequences, and mine killed my sister. I could have gone,” she said in a rush.
“My stomach ache was manageable, but what I couldn’t stomach was being her shadow for the evening while everyone bathed in her light.
My jealousy killed her.” Her chest heaved and she blinked back tears. “There, I said it.”
“Clary—”
“We had plans to be kick-ass Hunters together. To find hot Hunter boyfriends. We were going to rule, but… But deep down, I knew it would be Raina who ruled. Raina that shone. I didn’t want to share the limelight with her, and it got her killed.”
“Clary, you can’t—”
“The energy we put out there has an impact, Ana,” she said vehemently. “The negative thoughts I pushed into the world took my sister from me, and now… Now I have to live with that. But I vowed to do the right thing going forward, to never put my needs above those of others, and to set an example.”
Is that why she’d refused to heal the student who got hurt attacking another student? She wanted them to suffer for what they’d done, even if it meant she was Unwoven?
“Clary, don’t you think Raina would want you to be happy?”
“Of course she would,” Clary said. “Because that’s the kind of person she was. But I don’t deserve it. At least not yet.” She pressed her palm to her chest. “I don’t feel it yet.”
There was pain in this woman. Guilt and the belief that she wasn’t good enough. It was a powerfully destructive combination that would eat her alive if not checked.
It wasn’t my problem, but…I put my arm around her shoulder anyway. “I think Raina would be proud of you. Of the friend you’ve become to Dori, Benedict, now… Now to me.”
She sniffed again. “You think?”
“Yeah, I really do.”
She leaned her head against me. “I’m glad you came to Nightsbridge. I’m glad we’re friends.”
“Me too. Me too.” And the fucked-up thing was, in that moment, I think I meant it.