Chapter 19
WILDER
As much as I wanted to respond to Cat’s last message, I’m giving her the space and time she needs, at least, for now.
She’s still on my mind all day. I can still smell her sweet lavender scent on the clothes I wore the night we slept together, and sometimes I swear I can hear her voice. After school yesterday I was walking through the parking lot and saw a brunette standing by my car. For a split second I thought it was her, until the person turned around and I realized it was Sam.
For some fucked-up reason that girl can’t get it through her head that I’m not going to prom with her. She’s told everyone in school that we’re going together, but meeting there. When I approached her in the parking lot, she told me her dress color is burnt orange, as if she actually thinks I’m going to match my suit to her and get her a corsage.
In the end, I just nodded and let her think what she wants. Prom is the last thing on my mind, but nonetheless, here I am getting help from my dad with my tie—baby blue, not burnt orange.
I stare in the mirror as I watch him tie it for the third time. I know he wants to say something but he is holding back for some reason.
Did I fuck up his speech? I felt like I was able to put something decent together, and Cat definitely improved it.
“Lots of rumors going around,” Dad says as he cinches the knot around my neck for what I hope is the final time. “I just hope none of them are true.”
I purposely look away, unable to meet his eyes. I’m not sure what he’s heard, but I hope like hell it has to do with Callan and not me.
“Rumors have a way of doing that,” I quip, keeping my eyes on my reflection. “Good thing we don’t believe everything we hear.”
“Let’s hope you’re right. The last thing our family needs is another fuckup from one of its members.”
It’s not often my dad swears so I know he’s pissed. “What did Callan do this time?” But when I look at him, I know it’s not my brother he’s talking about.
“Not Callan,” he deadpans as he jerks my neck forward. "You.”
“Me?” I look at him with wide eyes, as if I can’t believe I could have done anything to piss him off. “I haven’t given anyone anything to talk about so it has to be a matter of miscommunication.”
“Is that so?” he seethes as he drops his hands, still glaring at me like I’m an enemy and not his son. He pats a firm hand to my shoulder, holding it there. “Look at me,” he demands.
My eyes hesitantly lift to meet his and I see the fury behind them. “He’s the wrong man to mess with, Wilder. So if you’ve been sneaking into his guesthouse with your dipshit friends and using it as your own personal hotel, it ends now.”
I exhale a sigh of relief and I almost want to laugh. Is this the rumor Troy is spreading to try and threaten me? Does he think my father will actually turn against me? Dad definitely heard something, but he heard it all wrong—thank fuck.
“It was one time,” I tell him, going along with the rumor for now. If Troy thinks he’s winning, then he will be more likely to fuck up. “He was out of town, and?—”
“I don’t care,” he stammers. “Don't do it again. I’m running in an election against this man, do not give him ammunition—because he will use it. And certainly do not get yourself arrested in the process. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, sir,” I say respectfully.
Dad’s face softens. He isn’t normally hard on us so I know this is weird for him. Especially with me. He looks up at me, a plea and something like concern mixed together in his gaze. “You’re on the right path, Wilder. I’d hate to see all your hard work be for nothing.”
I nod in response, desperate for this conversation to end. I swear my dad, like Rome, has the ability to sniff lies out of me.
“Watch yourself tonight.” He pats my shoulder and smiles. “Make good choices, son. We’re almost to the finish line.”
He has to mean graduation because the election is still months away. Regardless, I say, “Will do.”
The sound of someone laying heavy on a car horn rings in our ears and Dad grumbles as he heads toward my bedroom door. “The dumbasses have arrived.”
Dad’s never been a fan of Luke’s. Aiden he tolerates, but much like ninety percent of the population, he thinks Luke is disrespectful and immature. When I was about thirteen, my father went as far as to try and bribe me with five hundred bucks to drop him as a friend. We laughed it off, but I’m certain he was dead serious. Now, I could probably get five thousand.
Luke’s friendship is priceless, though. He’s one of those guys who will treat everyone else like trash but he’d defend the ones he loves to no end. And he happens to love me like a brother.
I give myself one last look in the mirror, taking in my light gray suit, blue tie, and matching Oxford shoes. Not gonna lie, I look pretty fucking good in a suit.
The sound of the horn rings again and when I jog down the stairs, I see Dad rip the front door open, almost taking it off the hinges. “He’s coming!” he screams into the dim night air.
I walk past him, patting him on the shoulder as I leave. “Later, Dad.”
Luke comes out of the driver’s side window, his hands on the roof. “Hurry your ass up, Cromwell. There’s a gym full of hot chicks waiting for us to check them out.”
I shake my head at his class act as I move faster to the car.
Swinging open the back door, I drop down inside beside Brady. Luke sinks back down in his seat as Aiden passes Brady a bottle of tequila.
Brady takes a swig then holds it out to me but I shake my head. I don’t drink too often, and when I do, it’s usually because I’m pissed off. The last time I drank was at the end of the football season when Rome took his position back from me as QB and I returned to my spot on the team as running back.
It’s not that I didn’t like my position, I did. It’s what I’ve done on the field my entire high school career. And Rome was made to be quarterback. It’s just, when it was me, I felt like the star of the show. I was the important Cromwell on the field and for a brief time, I wasn’t living in Rome’s shadow.
Anyway, I got shit-faced that night and when I woke up, I swore to myself I’d never drink to drown my sorrows again. And I haven’t since.
Luke, being the hotshot he thinks he is, pulls his car right up onto the sidewalk in front of the high school. Left tires on the pavement, right tires on the walkway. “Dude,” I huff. “Can't you park like a normal person?”
He kills the engine and doesn’t hesitate to jump out of the car through the window. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“You’re gonna get towed,” Brady warns him.
Luke snickers. “In that case, who’s driving me to the impound tomorrow?” He laughs as we all make our way to the front doors.
The minute we step in, my breath catches in my throat. Standing three feet away, talking to Mr. Hargrove, is Cat. She’s dressed in a dark purple satin dress that runs down to the floor, hugging every curve of her body. Her dark hair is piled in a bun on the top of her head with tiny tendrils of curls framing her face.
“Come on, man,” Aiden scoffs. “What are you waiting for?”
I snap out of the trance I fell in and keep walking, but I’m unable to take my eyes off her. When she drops her head back laughing, I take notice of a tiny bruise on her collarbone. I’m not sure if it’s new, or old, but the rest of her body looks unharmed and I’m thankful for that.
Maybe staying away is beneficial for her, after all. Even if it kills me inside.
As I walk past her, our eyes connect and her surprise is apparent. She draws in a deep breath and I watch as she swallows hard before pretending not to notice me at all. It hurts, but it’s necessary. Especially with half the student body thinking we slept together. Not that they’re wrong. We just can’t allow those rumors to get out because she’d lose her job, or worse.
Both gym doors are open and blue balloons run down the length of them. Two chaperones stand on either side, greeting us as we walk in. Disco lights circulate in the dark room and the theme for the event is apparent when everything looks like it’s been covered in blue ice. There’s even an ice sculpture of a snowflake in the middle of the dance floor.
“There you are.” Sam’s voice hits my ears before I even see her. She comes up behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder as she joins my side. “I was wondering when you’d get here.”
“Here I am,” I sing as I keep my eyes straight ahead. If I give her too much attention, she’ll want more.
“Let’s dance.” She tugs my arm with a pout. My eyes slide to hers, but I don’t move. “Oh come on, Wilder. It’s just a dance.”
I watch as Luke and Aiden join a group of girls on the dance floor and figure, what the hell. It is just a dance. Maybe this will satisfy her hunger for a while and she’ll leave me the hell alone. Maybe it’ll also stop people from thinking I slept with my teacher. She does have the same color hair as Cat. This could help get people off my back.
“Fine,” I quip. “But just one.”
She squeals in excitement. “Of course. Just one.”
We walk out to the dance floor together and I make it a point to join the group so it doesn’t look like Sam and I are here together. It’s not that I care what any student here thinks, but I do care what Cat thinks. I don’t want her thinking I’ve moved on or that I no longer care. Truth is, I’m only here because I knew she was chaperoning and it was a way to be able to see her, even if we can’t talk.
Sam uses every opportunity to grind against me to the beat of “Hide” by Creed. My body moves, and my eyes do the same as I scour the room in search of Cat. She was standing outside the gym when I first saw her, but she could be in here by now. I wonder if she’s got someone to talk to. I’d hate for her to be standing all alone.
The song ends and I’m about to walk off the dance floor without a word to Sam when she grabs my arm. “One more?” she begs. “It’s a slow one and I love this song.”
Exhaling profoundly, I turn back around and put an arm around her waist, keeping an inch of space between us while “Hanging by a Moment” by Lifehouse plays. Little good that space does because Sam just eats it right up with her body.
If any guy did this shit to a girl, he would get so much hate, but no one says anything to Sam as she keeps trying to take advantage and sell the lies she’s been spewing.
With one hand on my side and the other hanging loosely around her, I move in slow circles. When we’ve done a complete one-eighty, my eyes find Cat as if they knew exactly where to look. Unconsciously aware that I do it, I stop guiding the movements of the dance and follow Sam’s lead.
Cat looks lost as she stands there with her hands folded in front of her, eyes moving unhurriedly around the room. Then, she sees me. Our eyes meet and I watch her body tense, literally crushing my soul. I miss the smile I’d get when we’d catch each other’s gazes in a crowded room. Her head tilts slightly to the left, her chest rising as she draws in a deep breath. She gives me a hint of a fractured smile, but I see behind the facade of what it’s supposed to be.
I want to go to her. Take her hand and pull her away from the noise. Not just here, but everywhere. It’s all static and nonsense. This world is full of dream crushers and nonbelievers of things like love and heartbreak.
As people bustle around us, my eyes lock onto hers and everything else fades away—she’s all I see. All I want to see. The lyrics of the song speak to us because I’m literally falling even more in love with her as each second passes by.
It will always be her.
I go to pull away from Sam because I’m done fighting this. I surrender to the universe. They can speak what they want; I can’t go another minute without her.
But, I’m pulled back in and the next thing I know, Sam is crushing her mouth against mine. I try to break free from her hold but the girl is relentless as she tries to probe my mouth with her tongue. I’m forced to put my hands between us, literally peeling her off me.
“What the fuck, Sam!” I snap as I shake my head and walk off the dance floor.
I don’t even give the girl a second look because my focus is on Cat, who is no longer standing where my eyes left her. I have no idea how Sam, or my friends, respond. All I know is that I can’t be here for a second longer. This was a horrible idea.
I move frantically through crowded bodies trying to find her, but she’s nowhere to be found. I feel like I’m suffocating beneath water and when I step out of the gym, I suck a deep breath of air in my lungs. My eyes move up and down the hall, and I spot her purple dress turning the corner at the end toward the lockers.
Walking steadfastly, I go after her. Once I turn into the hall, I see her go around another corner. “Cat,” I call out faintly. I move faster, finally gaining on her. “Hey,” I holler again, and this time she stops.
Spinning around, she faces me and I see her tear-soaked eyes. “Just go back to the dance, Wilder.”
“No,” I tell her point-blankly as I close the space between us. “I wanna be with you.”
“You think that’s what you want, and maybe you do right now.” Tears fall down her cheeks even as she swipes at them angrily. It breaks my heart to see her like this. I never wanted to be the one to cause her pain. “But what about tomorrow, or next week, or next year, Wilder?”
I shake my head, adamant with my words because she has no idea what she does to me. “I’ll still want to be with you, Cat. That's all I’ll ever want.”
She shakes her head, tears continuing to roll down her soft cheeks, bringing streaks of black mascara with them. "Go back to Sam. You deserve to enjoy your senior prom.”
“Fuck Sam,” I spit out. “I don’t care about her. I care about you.” My hands go toward her and this time, she doesn’t push away.
“This is so hard,” she cries as I wrap my arms around her. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Then do nothing, baby.” I stroke her hair, trying to push all of the comfort I can into her body because I need her to know I’m here to stay. “Stop overthinking everything so much. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
“You don’t understand. No one does.”
I pull back just enough to see her eyes. “Then make me understand. Tell me what it is that I don’t know so I can help you. Let me help you.”
She draws in a shaky breath. “He’ll never let me leave.” The terror in her eyes is soul-crushing.
“Why?” I ask. That one word holds so much weight.
“Something happened in my past that involved some very bad people. Troy saved me from them, but he’s made it a point to hand me over the minute I step out of line or try to leave him.”
The fear that begins to overtake her tells me this is serious. It isn’t something small. But what’s worse is it’s clear she has wanted to leave for a while now. After what I saw the other day, I know there is more to this than what I can comprehend, but she needs to feel safe and secure to tell me so I can actually help her.
A thought crosses my mind. An irrational one, but a thought, nonetheless. “Run away with me.”
She cracks a smile, one I didn’t realize how badly I needed to see until now. “You’re insane.”
“Insane and serious.” Taking her hands in mine, I squeeze gently. “I mean it, Cat. We can leave Willow Creek together. Go somewhere where no one will ever find us.”
“He would find us.” Her hands tremble beneath mine. “Besides, I would never allow you to do that for me.”
“I’m not asking your permission. I’m telling you that I want to run away with you, Cat. I’d risk everything for you. Don’t you know that by now?”
I will throw her over my shoulder right now and take her to the next state over if I have to. This time, I’m not taking no for an answer.
“Okay,” she spits out, taking me by surprise.
“Okay?”
“Graduate high school and give me a couple weeks while I try to come up with a more realistic plan, and if it doesn't pan out, I’ll run away with you.”
All I heard was her agreeing to run away with me and that is enough to have me scooping her up in my arms while spinning her around.
She giggles and it’s a beautiful sound. One I want to hear every day for the rest of my life.
I put her back on her feet and she stretches up to kiss my lips. “I have to get back to the dance and chaperone. We have to keep things on the down-low for a while. That’s the only way any of this is going to work.”
“Of course,” I tell her. “But please don’t ghost me again. It scares the shit of me when you do that.”
She cracks a smile. “I’ll try to contact you when I can.”
I kiss her again before I watch her walk away. I hate not knowing when I’ll see her again, but at least now I know I will.
This isn’t the end, it’s only the beginning.