Chapter 38
Nikolai
By the time I reach the hallway, Cooper is gone. I take the stairs to the lobby, slipping past the nurse from earlier before
she notices me, and step into the cold, clear evening. The sweat on my body dried long ago, but I’m still filled with adrenaline,
relief and guilt warring inside me.
I had no idea I was going to introduce myself like that, but it felt right. It was the only answer I could give, the only
one that mattered. Things haven’t been casual for a long time, and honestly... maybe they never were. I have no idea when
or how the other shoe will drop, but for now, I want nothing more than to belong to her, and for her to belong to me. My Isabelle.
Even if it shatters my shot at belonging on my last hockey team.
“—were going to tell me,” Cooper is saying.
I step around the building quietly. Cooper stands with Sebastian and Penny underneath the light of a streetlamp. He has his
back to me, frustration evident in the stiff set of his shoulders.
“It wasn’t my news to tell,” Sebastian replies, his voice clipped.
“And then you called him?”
“He deserved to know.”
Cooper makes a noise of disgust. “When it’s his fault this happened?”
“You don’t know what happened. Neither of us do.” Sebastian takes a step closer to his brother, arms open, placating. “What if it had
been Penny? You’d have bitten my head off if I tried to keep that from you. He deserved the choice about whether to show up.”
“And he did,” Penny says as she rubs Cooper’s back. “He looked like a wreck. He cares about her.”
For a moment, I consider finding another way to my car. I doubt anything I could say right now would make things better. But
Isabelle asked me to talk to him. I can’t go home without trying.
“I do care,” I say, stepping out of the shadows. “What happened—it was my fault, but I care about her.”
Cooper studies me. “How long?”
“What?”
“You know what I mean. How long?”
I hesitate. “Since the summer.” I’m not sure how the fuck to approach this, what Isabelle actually wants me to share. “It
was just casual at first, we didn’t label anything, but now... it’s not.”
“Why?” He crosses his arms over his chest, practically spitting out the word. “Did you do it to have something else to taunt
me with?”
I laugh shortly. “No. Jesus, no. I did it because I liked her.”
“And you’ve been keeping it secret the whole time? Both of you?”
“It wasn’t your business,” I say, unable to keep the growl out of my voice.
“She’s my sister and you’re my—my teammate. I’d say that means you could have said fucking something . In Ryder’s office, you even lied and said she wasn’t your type.”
Exhaustion settles into my bones, dousing the anger. I nearly sway on my feet. “And who do you think wanted to keep it a secret?”
“What do you mean?” Sebastian asks.
I stare at Cooper. Of course I had my own reasons for wanting to keep my connection with Isabelle quiet, but fuck it, he needs to know this. “You know that she compares herself to you—all of you—constantly, right? She thinks you’re all amazing and perfect and that she’ll never be the same way. She couldn’t stand the idea of you judging her. And now I see why.”
“Shut the hell up,” he says, voice low.
My head throbs, even though I’m not the one with a concussion. I put up my hands. “Come on, Callahan. Hit me.”
I’d welcome the pain, after hurting her. I might not have concussed her myself, but if I hadn’t had a meltdown, if I’d just
fucking stayed with her, she wouldn’t have gone to that party. She wouldn’t be in that hospital bed, hooked up to a monitor to make sure
her brain is okay.
I swipe my tongue over my lip, smirking. “I know you want to.”
Cooper takes a step closer. I keep my hands up. This is all I’m good for, when it comes down to it. Dishing out pain and taking
it. I keep that cocky fucking smile on my face, as if my heart isn’t aching.
“Wait,” Sebastian says. “Stop, guys.”
Penny stifles a gasp as I bridge the rest of the gap, looking into those blue eyes, so like Isabelle’s. She’ll be upset that
I goaded her brother into this, but I can’t make myself stop.
“Go on,” I breathe. “Hit me for fucking your sis—”
“No,” Cooper snarls. He raises his hand—but swipes it through his hair, not at my face. “I’m not going to hurt someone my
sister cares about, you asshole. Get the fuck out of my face.”
He steps around me, striding away. Sebastian races after him. Penny lingers, biting her lip. My eyes smart as I stare up into
the streetlight.
“I’m sorry,” she says finally. “He’ll come around.”
“I don’t care,” I lie.
“I’m glad Izzy has you.” She squeezes my arm as she walks past. “Get some rest, Nikolai.”