Chapter 27
Cal lay in bed, staring at the canopy overhead. Part of him was surprised that Io hadn’t told him to sleep on the floor. The other part was terrified that she didn’t tell him to sleep on the floor.
Had she finally cut off her feelings for him?
She wasn’t sleeping either. Her back was to him, but her muscles were stiff and her breathing wasn’t deep enough.
When they’d first been married, there had been nights he had simply cuddled her and listened to her breathe, steady and soft.
The sound had anchored him and filled him with contentment.
Now the silence between them was louder than the hum of the air conditioner.
You don’t love me enough. If you loved me, you’d accept who I am.
Did she really believe that? That he didn’t love her enough?
He turned his head toward her, saw the rigid line of her shoulders and spine.
She’d armored herself against him and it made him feel sick to his stomach.
Sick in his heart. What had he thought the other day?
That she was the twin who survived on crumbs of love?
His chest tightened further. Cal didn’t mean to hurt her. Had never wanted to hurt her.
And yet he had.
The woman who’d given up on love, but decided to take a flyer on him. And he’d reinforced the lesson her parents had taught her. That if she didn’t conform, she couldn’t be loved.
He almost reached for her, the way he used to, but his hand froze halfway. She’d said he’d given up the right to have an opinion on her life. He’d also given up the right to touch her without an invitation.
Cal left the bathroom door cracked enough to softly illuminate the room.
Even in the dimness, the gaudiness of the red and gold canopy was still visible.
Damn, he wanted to wrap his arms around Io, hold her close, and feel her warmth against him.
He remembered so many nights when he’d done just that and they’d talked softly.
“I love you, Wild Thing. Exactly as you are. It’s your job I don’t love.” He spoke quietly, matching the darkness of the room. “Your job is part of you, but it isn’t the whole of you. And my job isn’t all that I am.”
If he thought she was rigid before, that was nothing compared to now. She remained silent and Cal knew she wasn’t going to engage. Too bad. Neither one of them was getting any sleep, so he might as well say his piece.
“I told you about my sister. Elena’s death changed me forever. Losing her is something I’ll never get over. She was fourteen years old. She had her whole life in front of her. There were dreams, ambitions, plans.”
Cal had to pause to clear his throat. Elena had died fourteen years ago and he still couldn’t talk about her without choking up.
“She wanted to be a marine biologist because she was fascinated by sharks. There wasn’t a video she didn’t watch and she read everything she could get her hands on.
All the lectures she gave to the family, as if she was a college professor teaching her students.
” Cal couldn’t help but smile at that memory.
He glanced back at her. Io remained stiff, but she was listening.
“Her dream was to study the great white sharks at Guadalupe Island. Elena worked her butt off in math and science. If it furthered her goal, she was all in. And that included swimming. She was on the swim team. She won medals and was already on the varsity squad. And it didn’t matter, Thing. Elena still drowned.”
Cal started to reach for Io again, but stopped. He brought his arm back, fisting his hand to rein himself in. “It doesn’t matter how good you are at your job. Something could still happen to you. I could still lose you and I’d never recover. I might as well climb in the fucking grave with you.”
Io turned then. Not exactly facing him, but she had him in her peripheral vision.
“It wasn’t easy for me to tell you to go back to LA. It was the last thing I wanted to do. Your sister was your only family. Well, you were my only family.”
Now she turned toward him. “You said your parents didn’t blame you for her death.”
“They didn’t.” His voice was rough. “I haven’t been home in twelve years, not since I left for boot camp. I send a Christmas card and a Mother’s Day card, but that’s it. That’s all the contact I’ve had with them.”
“Why?”
He stayed quiet.
“Why, Cal?”
“Because I don’t deserve them. Because every time I see my parents or my brothers, all I can think about is who’s missing. Who should be there, but isn’t. Elena.”
Io studied him for a long moment. “You wouldn’t even send those cards twice a year if your family wasn’t worrying if you were dead or alive, would you?”
Cal swallowed hard, but no words came. She was right. She knew him too well.
He dragged a hand over his face and kept his gaze squarely on the canopy over their heads. “My mom worried the minute she knew I planned to enlist after high school. Just because I can’t go home, doesn’t mean I want her to fret every night if I’m alive or dead.”
“Let me see if I have this straight. You’re punishing yourself by staying away from the family you obviously love because you think you should have handcuffed your sister to you after you told her no.
You think that twice a year cards are enough to stop them from worrying about you. Do I have this right?”
There was something in Io’s voice that kept Cal from replying. He had a bad feeling she was about to shoot a torpedo.
“You know what? Your mom is still worrying about you and now she’s anxious every Christmas and Mother’s Day until she gets your card.
If she knows what you do in the Army, she’s probably at a twelve on the one-to-ten scale until your card arrives.
Then she gets to worry from May until December when the next card arrives. ”
Cal flinched. The accuracy of her strike left him gutted. “She doesn’t know I’m in Special Forces. I only sign my name. I don’t write a letter.”
“Are you serious? You only sign your name on the two cards you force yourself to send each year?”
That sounded bad.
“Maybe you need to consider that your idea of punishing yourself is punishing your family twice as much. You know you’re alive and fine. They live on pins and needles, waiting for your cards. What the hell happens if the post office loses one? For heaven’s sake, Cal.”
Cal’s chest tightened as Io’s words echoed in the silence. Punishing himself. Yeah, that’s what it was. He didn’t deserve his family’s love when Elena was gone forever.
His breath caught as a question popped into his mind.
Marrying Io, living with her, laughing with her had been the best thing that ever happened to him.
She’d tried to save their relationship, had fought for him.
And he hadn’t given her compromise even two seconds’ thought before he rejected it.
Was it because he couldn’t live with the risk she was in?
Or was it because he believed deep down that he didn’t deserve to be happy?
Io sipped her coffee. They’d had breakfast at some hole-in-the-wall café that she hoped would keep them off the radar until decisions were made. Because Cal was right. They couldn’t get to Torres while Petrova was actively hunting her.
This was clearly a family-owned restaurant.
There was no outdoor seating and the indoor space was small.
She and Cal had grabbed a table in the corner and both of them had their backs to a wall.
He also had a wide view of the street. Hers was partial, but between the two of them, she felt comfortable that they’d see trouble coming.
They were near the kitchen and could escape out the back door if necessary.
Unless Petrova’s team knew they were here and watched the back, too.
Io’s stomach somersaulted and she was glad she’d finished breakfast. The coffee wasn’t going to help settle her down, but neither she nor Cal had managed much sleep last night.
He was mainlining caffeine as fast as she was, and this was a shitty time to talk tactics, but it had to be done, sleep deprivation or not.
“We need to discuss the situation,” Io said with more calm than she felt.
“There’s nothing to discuss. Game over. You stay with your sister and let the team handle it.”
She took another gulp of coffee before she asked, “You think that solves the issue? I’m being actively hunted, that much is clear.
How long do you think the safe house stays safe given Petrova’s reach and influence?
What happens if he finds the place when there’s only one or two of your friends there?
Do you think me, Oz, and BD can hold them off indefinitely? ”
“It wouldn’t be indefinitely. Only until the rest of the guys can get there.”
Io took a breath and tried to stay focused. At least Cal wasn’t arguing that Petrova would never locate the safe house. All it took was one nosy neighbor who said the wrong thing to the wrong person and boom! The shit would hit the fan.
“It’s a large house with multiple entry points. We couldn’t cover them all and firefights are over fast. We’d be dead or captured before anyone even knew there was a problem.”
Cal stayed quiet, but his scowl spoke volumes.
“Petrova didn’t come to Trujillo with a handful of men,” she told him.
“I know. There’s probably a few dozen. Most of them are just muscle, not brains.”
“Except for the former Russian Special Forces soldiers on his team.”
His scowl deepened. “Yeah, except for them.”
“I can’t go to the safe house and risk its location and we can’t work on Torres because Petrova and his team are a pain in the ass. That means we need to deal with the mobsters first and then go to work on Torres.”
Cal lowered the mug fast, pulling up just before he would have banged it into the table, and gently set it down.
“Are you out of your mind?” His voice stayed low, but he was furious.
“Your working on the Torres situation was dangerous enough, but Petrova? Fucking hell, Io, I don’t want you captured, not by those bastards. ”
“What are our options, Cal? You tell me. I’m right about the safe house, it’s not safe to go back to LA because Ivanov has a network in the US, and Petrova has his men out looking for me, probably leaving no stone unturned. If you have a better idea, now is the time to share it.”
“Archer can hire bodyguards—”
“That’s already been discarded as a solution because bribery is a thing and finding incorruptible people is difficult. Remember that the Lost Treasure is worth at least a billion dollars. How much money is too high with that on the line?”
His frown deepened. “We disguise you and your sister and hide you somewhere no one would look for you.”
Io pressed her lips together, and took a deep breath before she countered. “And is anyone protecting my sister besides me? You and your friends would be busy in Trujillo, bodyguards can’t be trusted, and there’s no guarantee that Petrova wouldn’t find us.”
“Fuck,” Cal muttered under his breath.
“You know as well as I do that Petrova’s boss, Ivanov, has resources in almost every country in the world. There is no hiding, not indefinitely.”
Cal dragged both hands down his face, exhaustion etching a furrow between his brows. “We can disappear. Screw the mission. Screw everything. I keep you safe and we wait it out.”
Io shook her head. “I think they call that going AWOL. Not only does that kill your career and wreck your life, but Petrova isn’t going to give up. We need to assume Ivanov ordered him to locate the treasure. What are the consequences for failure in that org?”
His hands dropped to the table, fingers playing with his coffee mug, rotating it like it was a Magic 8 Ball that would provide a new scenario if he turned it enough. He didn’t answer right away, but the muscle ticking in his jaw told her he knew she was right.
Io leaned in, her voice low but steady. “We both know men at Petrova’s level don’t get second chances. Ivanov doesn’t forgive failure. If Petrova comes up empty, he’s dead. Which means he’ll keep coming until he has me—or the treasure.”
Cal’s scowl deepened, but he didn’t argue. The silence between them was heavy, broken only by the sounds of other diners eating breakfast and chatting with their companions.
“We deal with Petrova first, then turn to Torres. I know you don’t like it, but it’s the only possibility that works.”
Her words hung between them, sharp as shattered glass. Cal didn’t answer, and Io didn’t need him to. The decision was made.