Chapter 19 #2
“You’re mine.” He punctuated the words with a particularly brutal thrust that made my vision white out for a second. “Say it.”
“Yours.” The word came out broken. I was done denying it, done with trying to pretend that I did want to try whatever this was. “Fuck, Ash, I’m yours.”
He groaned and kissed me again, swallowing whatever other sounds I might have made. His rhythm turned punishing, each thrust driving me further into the mattress. The bed frame creaked in protest, but neither of us cared.
My cock was trapped between us, rubbing against his stomach with each movement. The friction was almost too much. I was already close, wound tight and ready to snap, and the needy little sounds escaping my throat clearly tipped Ash off.
“Not yet.” Ash’s hand pushed between our bodies, wrapping around the base of my cock and squeezing just hard enough to keep me from going over the edge. “Not until I say.”
“Bastard.”
“Yeah.” He grinned against my mouth. “Payback’s a bitch, and you know it.”
I did. God help me, I really fucking did.
He changed angles slightly and hit that place inside me that made my back arch off the bed. I cried out, fingers scrabbling for purchase on his sweat-slick shoulders.
“There it is.” Ash sounded so pleased with himself as he did it again. And again. And again. Each thrust aimed exactly where I needed it. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” I was begging now, and I didn’t even care. “Please, Ash, please.”
“Such a good boy when you want to be.” His hand left my cock, gripped my hip instead, holding me steady as he fucked into me with renewed intensity. I knew I was done for.
The next thrust punched the air from my lungs.
Then another. And another. Each one harder than the last, driving deeper until I couldn’t tell where he ended, and I began.
My good leg trembled where it rested on his shoulder.
The boot on my other ankle bounced with the force of his movements, and he had to rearrange me, draping my right leg over his forearm instead.
I didn’t care.
“Look at you.” Ash’s voice came out rough, wrecked. Sweat beaded on his forehead, dripped down his temple. “Taking it so well.”
I watched his muscles flex with each thrust. Watched the way his abs contracted, the way his biceps bulged where he gripped my hips hard enough to bruise. He was gorgeous like this. Completely undone and still somehow in control.
Why the fuck had we waited so long to do it like this?
All those times in storage closets and back seats and against walls. Never face-to-face. Never where I could see him properly, watch him fall apart because of me.
My hand moved toward my cock. I needed to touch myself, needed some kind of relief.
Ash smacked it away.
“No!” His hips slammed forward for emphasis. “You don’t touch.”
“Ash.” It came out as a whine. I’d beg properly if he wanted. Pride had left the building about ten minutes ago. “Please.”
“No.” He leaned down, folding me nearly in half again. The new angle made me see stars. “You come when I say. Not before.”
His mouth crashed against mine again. Hungry and demanding and stealing whatever breath I had left. He kissed me like he was trying to consume me whole, his tongue exploring every corner of my mouth while his cock drove into me with unrelenting force.
He groaned into my mouth, and it was the hottest sound I’d ever heard.
The kiss went on forever and not nearly long enough. When he finally pulled back, I gasped for air, head spinning.
“You’re so fucking beautiful like this.” His thumb traced my bottom lip. “All desperate and needy. Just for me.”
“Only for you.” The words slipped out before I could stop them. But fuck it. We were past pretending this was anything else.
His eyes darkened before he kissed me again. Softer this time. Almost gentle. His hips slowed to match, each thrust deliberate instead of brutal. Drawing it out. Making me feel every inch as he pulled back and pushed in.
This is torture.
“Ash.” I broke the kiss to pant against his mouth. “I can’t. I need to—”
“Shhh.” Another slow thrust. “Not yet.”
“I’m gonna die.”
“No, you’re not, Jude.” He kissed along my jaw, down my neck. Teeth scraping over my pulse point hard enough to make me shudder. “You’re gonna wait. Like a good boy.”
I wanted to argue. Wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and quit calling me that. But the words wouldn’t come. All I had were broken sounds as he continued that slow, torturous rhythm.
Finally, finally, he straightened, and when his hand wrapped around my cock, I nearly sobbed with relief.
“You’ve been so patient.” He stroked in time with his thrusts. Slow and deliberate now. It was just pleasant torture presented in a different way. “So good for me.”
“Please.” I didn’t care how desperate I sounded. “Please let me come.”
His grip tightened, and his hips picked up speed again. Fast. Hard. Exactly what I needed.
“Come for me, Jude.”
Permission granted, my body obeyed before my brain could catch up. The orgasm hit like a freight train, ripping through me with an intensity that made my vision white out. I came hard, painting his hand and my stomach, muscles clenching around him.
“Fuck.” Ash’s rhythm faltered. Once. Twice. Then he buried himself deep, and I felt him come, heat flooding inside me.
He stayed there, hips pressed flush against my ass, both of us trembling and gasping. His hand was still wrapped around my softening cock, covered in my release.
When he finally opened his eyes, the smirk on his face was pure sin.
He pulled his hand up and shoved it toward my mouth. “Good boy. Now clean me up.”
The things that voice did to me should be illegal. I did as told, lapping his hand with my tongue until every drop of myself was gone. I’d never enjoyed the taste of my cum, but from Ash’s skin, it was a delicacy.
Ash only pulled out of me when I’d finished my task, and I had enough clarity to be ashamed at the small wounded sounds I made at the loss.
“Easy.” His hands moved to my legs, carefully lifting them off his shoulders and lowering them to the bed. The care he took with my injured leg would have been endearing if I could have focused on anything at all.
“Jude? You good?” I must have been obviously fucked out of my brain if Ash felt he needed to ask.
“Yeah.” My voice came out wrecked. “I’m good.”
My body felt like warm honey, my muscles liquid and useless. I wanted to reach for Ash, pull him down beside me, tuck myself against his chest and just exist there for a while. But my arms wouldn’t cooperate. They just lay there, heavy and unresponsive.
When did I last feel like this?
Never. Not with Dylan. Not with anyone.
The hate-sex with Ash these last few weeks had been incredible. Angry and desperate and consuming. But this? This scared the hell out of me even in my current boneless state.
Ash moved somewhere nearby. I couldn’t track it properly. All I knew was that he was gone.
Gone.
I didn’t want him to just fuck me and leave. I wanted him to stay. Wasn’t that the point of his barging into my house at ass o’clock in the morning? Weren’t we meant to be giving this thing a go?
I made a wounded sound, part whine, part whimper, as I tried to sit up.
“Don’t move, Jude.” I heard his voice but couldn’t see him. But then I heard running water in the bathroom, and the fog from my brain started to lift. A minute later, Ash returned with a warm washcloth and, after placing a kiss on my right knee, started cleaning me up with surprising gentleness.
“You don’t have to do that.” Of course, I finally found my voice, and the first thing I said was an attempt at pushing him away.
“Shut up and let me.” He wiped my stomach, then moved lower. “Someone’s gotta take care of you.”
My heart did something weird in response; a warm and fluttery feeling that left me flustered. I wasn’t used to it, so I stayed quiet and let him work.
He tossed the washcloth aside when he finished, then maneuvered me properly up the bed. Got me settled against the pillows with my injured ankle elevated on a spare one.
“Better?”
“Yeah.” He grabbed his boxers from the floor and pulled them on.
Right. He’s leaving.
But then Ash hesitated. He looked at the bed and at me, and I was asking him to stay before I could overthink it.
The smile that lit up his face was beautiful.
Ash turned the main light off, plunging the room into near darkness. Only the dim glow from the hallway remained, casting shadows across the walls.
He moved back to the bed and carefully wiggled the blanket out from under me, which should have been embarrassing but somehow wasn’t. Then he climbed in beside me, settling onto his back with his hands behind his head.
We didn’t cuddle. Didn’t snuggle up against each other like couples in movies. We just lay there side by side in the dark, not touching except for where his shoulder brushed against mine.
We’d never done the staying-after thing before. Cum and go was our specialty. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Or where to look. Or how to act like this was normal when nothing about this situation felt normal. My entire body was rigid, muscles locked tight despite the post-orgasm haze.
“Are you always this tense after sex?”
“I’m not tense.”
“You’re wound tighter than a spring.” Ash shifted to his side, facing me, and his fingers walked up my arm to my shoulder, pressed into the muscle there. I hissed. “See? Tense.”
“Maybe I just don’t know what we’re doing or how to...”
“We’re lying in bed.” His hand moved to my neck, kneading gently. “Not exactly complicated, Jude.”
“We’ve just... never done this before.”
“Done what? Stayed in the same room after fucking?” He found a knot and worked at it until I groaned. The massage was intimate in a way sex hadn’t been. Gentle and caring, like he actually wanted to take care of me instead of just getting off.
I could get used to this.
“Yeah.” I couldn’t look at him. “That.”
“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” His thumb pressed into a particularly tight spot, and I couldn’t stop the low groan that escaped. “Besides, I figured you could use the company. You’ve been stuck in this place alone for days.”
“I was fine.”
“Sure you were.” His hand moved to the back of my neck, fingers threading through my hair. “Is that why you looked half feral when I showed up?”
“I was mad at you.”
“You’re always mad at me.” But there was affection in his voice now instead of antagonism. “It’s kind of your thing.”
Despite everything, I felt my lips twitch. “Asshole.”
“Yeah, I know.” He shifted closer, his body heat warming my side. “Which means you’re stuck with me.” His hand was still in my hair, playing with the strands. “Besides, I want breakfast. And you’re ordering in.”
“Oh, am I now?”
“Yep!” And then his arm draped across my waist, pulling me closer. He gave a small tug, rolling me towards him. Smooth bastard. “I want a full breakfast...”
The laugh caught me by surprise. It burst out before I could stop it, genuine and unexpected.
“What?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head, still smiling. “You’re just an asshole.”
“Yeah.” He pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “But I’m now your asshole.”